Strategies for Shopping with Youngsters

April 25, 2013 By Lori Wildenberg

The little one rounded the corner, alone, crying, carrying her pink, velcroed, tennis shoes. She was maybe three years of age, at the most.

“Are you looking for your, Mommy?” I asked. I looked around, expecting to see a frantic mama in search of her child. No one matched that description.

Then out popped a young mom from behind the shelves of shoes. I suppose she was fearful of me, a stranger, talking to her child.

“Oh, look! There’s your mom. See she won’t leave you. She’s right here.”

The woman gave me an icy stare and said, “I was hiding to teach her a lesson.” Oh boy…My stomach tightened. This had ugly potential.

She picked up her child and plopped the little gal on the bench. She grabbed the mini-psychedelic -shoes and held them in her daughter’s face.

“If you don’t put on your shoes, I’m calling the monsters.”

The Pippi Longstocking pigtails bobbed up and down with each hiccup sob. This poor little one was being terrorized right before my eyes. The mom thought she was doing it right.

I said nothing. I had no idea how to say what I wanted to say. This mom needed help. I could help her. I’m ashamed to say I sat by and did nothing. I’m praying she will read this post.

So here are a couple of tips, when shopping with a young child:

1. Have the youngster in a stroller, contained. Keep her there.

2. If the child is not in the buggy and wanders off , runs away, or doesn’t come when you call, DO NOT hide or threaten to leave. Go after that kid. Tell the child, “I will never leave you. I will always protect you.” Then pick up the screaming and kicking stinker (positioning the legs away from you, of course) and put him or her back in the cart.

3. In the case above, the mother wanted the child to put on her shoes. She could have said this, “You have a choice, you can put the shoes on yourself or I will help you.” Most preschool or toddler children want to do things, “By self.”

Shopping with the littles can be tough. Especially if you have more than one child. When my kids were young I would load up one cart with all four and pull a second one.

Prevention is also helpful:

1. State, “When we go shopping you must stay in the stroller or hold my hand for safety. “

2. Avoid shopping during the bewitching hours of mealtime or nap time. A hungry tired child is not a good little shopper.

3. Engage you child in the “event”. Help me find….. Do you see……?

Most of all…stay calm. Stay in control. And keep the errand short.

By,

Lori Wildenberg

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Filed Under: Behavior, Kid's Stuff, Lori Wildenberg, Toddler & Preschooler, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: Parenting, shopping Leave a Comment

QbyUand4U: Getting kids to eat fruits & veggies & TMI Link Up

February 18, 2013 By Julie Sanders

At one time or another, I think every mom wonders if she is mothering a child worthy of an expose on 20/20. Some children struggle with medical or emotional challenges expressed in eating habits that require the help of a trained therapist, nutritionist, or doctor. But when one of our moms asked, “How do we get our kids to eat more fruits and vegetables?” the mom audience collectively nodded their heads. It’s time for a “Question by U and 4U!”

Most children aren’t born craving broccoli. If your kids beg for brussel sprouts on their birthday, just go ahead and skip to the comments and tell us what your secrets are! But for all the rest of us, let’s talk about how to move kids from milk to mangoes in a day when chicken nuggets are made to look like rock stars. Like generations before us, we just want our kids to eat their fruits and veggies!

Is good nutrition worth the battle? Even though we know children need a wide array of vitamins, minerals, and fiber, moms often give in when faced with pouty lipped, arms crossed, nugget loving children. How can we encourage healthy eating without having to do battle?

Model the diet you want for your kids. Be honest here … do you only eat an apricot when it’s in “jam form” in the middle of a pastry? Kids learn from what we choose to eat.
Don’t put junk where good stuff should go. If they turn up their nose at pineapple, don’t shrug your shoulders and trade it for Pringles.
Persevere if it matters … because it does. It doesn’t count as a failure after one rejection or five or ten. Start before they’re using silverware, and then keep putting healthy options in front of your children in every single stage of their life.
Think like a florist and cook like an artist. Create a palette of food on your child’s plate that is varied and colorful, a display of different shapes and textures. Invite their help, their touching and their sampling. Make preparation, serving, and eating a joyful journey of the senses.
Talk it up before you serve it up. Tell your children how thankful you are for the food you have and describe its wonderful qualities. Explain how God has given us the gift of fruits and vegetables to meet our needs and bring us pleasure. When you pray, thank Him for the gifts He’s given.

“And God said, ‘Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.’ And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day” (Genesis 1:11-13).

Like any other healthy habit you train your children to practice, choosing a healthy diet pays dividends their whole life. In April 2008 The Journal of School Health reported that children who regularly eat vegetables and fruits do better academically than children with poor diets. Good nutrition produces increased attention to learn, greater energy levels, more desire for activity, stronger emotional balance, digestive well-being, and better sleep patterns. That’s worth taking the time to keep fruits and veggies on hand and ready to serve to children learning to choose what will help them grow strong for a healthy future.

And by the way, both of our kids beg for brussel sprouts on their birthdays! I’m not kidding. I drizzle the sprouts with olive oil and sprinkle a little sea salt and roast them for about 30 minutes at 350. I eat a couple … because the kids are watching. It makes the florist and the artist and the mother in me so happy.

Click here for a nutrition resource for kids provided by the Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.

Shared by Julie Sanders

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Filed Under: Active Kids/Healthy Kids, Childhood, Health, Safety & Nutrition, Julie Sanders, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: How do I parent, nutrition, parenting advice 16 Comments

To Count or Not to Count

July 27, 2012 By Julie Sanders

It was hard not to notice her struggle, since she and her husband sat across from us while we all waited to board our flight. Her little princess was Pottery Barn catalog pretty, but she had an attitude that shouted “Diva!” With a patient voice and bottomless bag of tricks, the mom was trying to work her magic (emphasis on “work”) before we ever approached the plane. Nothing worked. Just then, she found hope in the form of another “traveling mommy.”

Different kinds of moms

Traveling mommy #2 took a different approach. She was streamlined. She was in charge. She was in a fluorescent orange t-shirt matching her toddler’s. And to top it off, she was loudly counting to three. Orange-clad mom rallied her tribe, adjusted her backpack, swung her stroller into position, and headed for her flight counting to three so her toddler would keep up as he dragged his little rolling carry-on behind him. In just the few moments she pulled over beside us, she counted to three at least three times, but it seemed like she never got to three. Her crew knew the drill. Mom #1 was clearly watching and wondering; she had hope.

After mom #2 took off, the little princess made a new attempt at naughtiness. Mustering up her nerve, mom #1 started to count. “One …. “ She leaned down and looked at princess … no response. She got cold feet and didn’t even try to say “Two …” A few minutes later, she had another opportunity and responded with another hopeful, “One … ” No response! She bailed out and opened a new juice box, instead.

God’s pattern for moms

God wants us to look to Him for the pattern of how to mother our children. “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17). Just because one family finds a management technique successful doesn’t mean it will be successful for every other family, for YOUR family.

Mom #1 looked confused about why counting to three didn’t have the same impact on her child as it had for the orange t-shirt family. Her little princess looked equally confused about why her mom kept breaking into spontaneous counting. WHY did her mommy keep practicing her numbers? Mom and child were both confused. What went wrong?

While we can learn from each other, what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.
Though we go thru motions of a management technique, it doesn’t mean it will always be effective.
Our children have to understand something of “why” we do what we do, if it’s to make a difference.
God gave us our children, and He wants to give us practical wisdom to manage them well.
Once we find management techniques that work for us, consistency is the key to success.
Our job is to be the best mom we can be, not to be someone else.
Our children need us to be clear and consistent as we shape them and help them grow.

Being the best YOU mom

Every mom has strengths to capitalize on her strengths in mothering. Understand how God designed YOU as a mom, and then be the best mom you can be. The dynamics of your children, lifestyle, spouse, and personality are all uniquely yours. Our Heavenly parent is “counting” on us to discover how He’s made US so we can embrace it and mother well.

Do you know what strengths God gave you as a mother?
What management and discipline strategies work best for your family?
Are you embracing the mom you are or trying to squeeze into another mom’s mold?
Ask God to help you be the best “YOU” you can be as a mom.

By: Julie Sanders

Filed Under: Behavior, Character Counts, Growth & Development, Julie Sanders, MOM Stuff, Parenting, Toddler & Preschooler, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: Behavior, Discipline, management, mommy guilt, Motherhood, parenting advice 4 Comments

Flying with Mom – Airline Travel with Kids

July 11, 2012 By Julie Sanders

Thinking about flying with kids?

It’s dark and quiet as hundreds around me sleep, now that the small passenger in row 35 has given in. His mother looks relieved, but cautious, slumped under a blanket beside him. Airline travel with small children is not easy, but it can be done well.

Before the flight attendant closed the overhead bins, the elderly lady in row 35 found a way to move far from the little wiggling person making demands before we even pulled away from the gate. Early indications showed it would be a long overnight flight with this half sized, yet powerful, passenger. His mom, on the other hand, seemed to be in denial; she opened a large paperback and ignored her child, who quickly tired of pushing the screen on the back of the chair and moved on to kicking the tray table. Mom had nothing to give him: no secret snacks, hidden toys, sticker books, favorite stuffy, or comforting blanket. Maybe she forgot in her pre-trip hurry, but this has the power to make a break their trip. In a divine show of mercy, when the elderly lady escaped, she left an empty seat beside the toddler, creating more “wiggle room.”

Shortly after the meal service, the toddler melted down, just as the shades were drawn and passengers were urged to sleep. We all knew only one would win: the toddler in row 35 or the other 400 of us. Airline travel with small children can be a battle. Are you up for the challenge?

Be realistic.

This is no time to read that Amish classic. Be realistic about travel during this season of life. There will be a day for long novels on trans-Atlantic flights, but not in the toddler-mom days. A successful flight requires being informed, prepared, and engaged. Remember how you slept when the baby slept in the first days? Bring that mindset to the plane.

Be prepared

Some children face emotional anxiety due to the number of people, the noise, the restrictions, or other issues. Know that some factors, like entertainment choices of surrounding passengers, temperature, and time, are out of your control. Physical concerns like ear pain and awkward bathroom facilities mean Mom has to plan ahead. Ask your pediatrician for ways to offset air pressure changes. Plan to offer a lollipop, pacifier, sippy cup, or nursing, depending on the age of the child, for take-offs and landing.

Be creative

The flight may offer “activities” like meals and an entertainment system to help fill time, but go with plans and resources to occupy your child; the whole plane will thank you. Take your child’s age into account, but plan seat activities to rotate. Choose those that are quiet, don’t have a lot of small pieces to drop, and work well in confinement. Challenging! Think: books, coloring, playdough, a game, a simple craft, technical game, story on tape, etc. This is not your chance to catch up on reading. Engaging your child’s body and mind on a plane requires a parent who is engaged.

Be honest

See your child’s response to the flight experience as people around you are seeing it. Remember that some may have flight anxiety, need to sleep, may be facing physical issues, and may not be used to small children. Your interaction with your child can be a blessing to those around you, and you might even find others eager to help you when they see how prepared and thoughtful you are.

Be polite

From the moment you pre-board or drag a car seat down the aisle, people wonder how you will impact the flight. Since you already have a hundred things on your mind, add two more small ones: greet the flight attendants and smile. While it isn’t time to stop and make introductions, it is time to speak to the stewards, thank them for their help, and teach your little one how to “help the helpers.” Your polite manners will make attendants want to help you, and you need that!

Be flexible

It takes more time and effort to fly with little ones, but you can do it if you adjust your expectations. You may not get that two minutes in the restroom to freshen up your make-up before landing, but that’s okay. The attention and affection you show your most precious passenger makes you beautiful. Don’t let spills, tears, fears, or questions upset you. Set a pace for your child that reveals a flexible and patient spirit. More important than getting to your destination is the journey of growing your child.

Be adventurous

Traveling with a small child is exciting! Determine that you will see it that way and talk to your little one about your adventure together. Laugh at the unexpected, making your travel a game and journey to be embraced. Make these days a sweet memory in the heart of your little traveler. All too soon, they’ll grab their own suitcase and be out the door charting their own course.

I’ve traveled many miles with our children, but they now sleep in the row behind me, tall and quiet in their own seats. They chose their own meals, didn’t spill, and carried their own bags. They’ve grown to be independent, and I got to read a great book. It’s a new season.

The mom in row 35 sleeps now beside her small mound of a person under a blanket, her book on the floor, but her heart open. The window shades will lift soon, and the toddler will wake up, ready for the next part of his amazing adventure with mom.

What tips do you have for successful airline travel with kids?

Filed Under: Active Kids/Healthy Kids, Holidays, Julie Sanders, Parenting, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: Holidays, How do I parent, Manners, parenting advice, Summer, travel 4 Comments

Avoiding The Summer Meltdowns, 8 Tips How!

May 14, 2012 By Heather Riggleman

Tis the season for whining, crying, complaining and more. It’s summer time! Usually that means fun in the sun, but if you and you’re kids are like mine, meaning they strive on downtime, structure, and routine; I’ve got some timely tips to help you and your kids ease into summer! In fact, you could be the next ‘child whisperer’ among your peers!

STOP and HALT

No I’m not talking about stop signs, I’m talking about listening to the instincts that God has graciously instilled in us as mothers.

Okay, so you’re trying to get stuff checked off on that fabulous to-do list when you hear screaming and fighting for the millionth time today, let’s STOP before we yell at our kids.

Step away from the situation: stepping away allows our tempers to cool and for us to take a few deep breaths before going back into the action with a clear head.

Think: What is it about the situation that is driving you batty? Has it tripped your trigger?

What is the objective? Identify your objective before heading in, are you going to discuss kind hands or sharing?

Pray before heading in. Praying releases the situation into God’s hands and reminds us our strength comes from Him, as well as patience, sanity, and our cute kids! I pray often. If not constantly as I want to show them who Jesus is, what compassion is and reminds me that kind words bring peace, words in anger stir up dissension.

This method works very well for me in times of heightened stress on top of my spirited kiddos. Especially when we tend to get out of our routines with those long summer nights–chasing fireflies

Another tip to help with the season of summer fun, is what my friend Karla titles as HALT. We were discussing the terrible three’s when she advised us of what she has been doing with her kids. I love the idea so much that I’ve been doing it with my own. It helps remind me that my kids have needs and creates a renewed compassion in my heart, especially when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

The next time your child is driving you bonkers, stop and try to identify what her issue is; is she Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. These are the basic needs our little ones have. When we identify and address the issue plaguing them, they will turn back into our sweet little angels that we know and love; plus add life to our dwindling sanity during the hot long summers.

So when you were attempting just another trip to the mall, grocery store, or the pool, remember STOP and HALT!

Let’s begin the conversation today, what do YOU do to avoid the meltdowns? What advice has a mentor shared with you that you would like to pass on? Hugs to you all sweet moms!

By Heather Riggleman

Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Heather Riggleman, Parenting, Toddlers & Preschool 3 Comments

Taming Your Toddler’s TV

January 4, 2012 By themomin

It buys time to make dinner, but it can take over our toddler’s day if we aren’t careful. TV watching is an easy trap, but we can kick the habit and find meaningful ways to occupy our children.

It seems impossible to fill a toddler’s day, but we can grow bright and busy toddlers without “plugging them in.” A 2010 University of Quebec study reported that 2 ½ yr. olds who watched TV have increased risks of health and learning issues. Additional hours of viewing directly corresponded with decreases in engagement and comprehension. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages limits of 1 to 2 hours for children older than two, but recommends none for children under 2. Realistically, what’s a busy mom to do? With a few simple principles, we can tame the TV in our toddler’s life.

Inspiration ~ More than animation or visual effects, a mother provides inspiration for a child’s imagination and hunger for activity. While coordination blossoms in a toddler’s body, invitations to experiment and grow are exhilarating; encouragement nurtures a child’s spirit as they shape their desire for independence. Inspiration to be active feeds the mind, instead of dulling the senses. A toddler’s attention span forces moms to become masters of activity management. Variety is more important than complexity.

Offering age appropriate art supplies and examples stimulates creativity.
Household jobs like sorting laundry, wiping dishes, and washing vegetables nurtures responsibility.
Literature rich environments with books and expressive reading build reading readiness.

Initiation ~ Ideas move ahead of physical ability and can become overwhelming for a toddler.

Make simple suggestions to provide direction for discovery.
Be available to give guidance to overcome toddler obstacles.

Mothers open the world to little ones with permission to attempt new tasks, explore the world, and join in family life. It may mean setting aside work or turning our attention, but initiating new activities may be the step a toddler needs to engage in their own world, instead of just viewing it.

Imitate ~ When toddlers are inspired to be active and try new experiences, imitation is the resource they need to grow. Children imprint scenes of creativity, hard work, spiritual disciplines, and relationships on their hearts and minds. Watching us instead of animated characters on screen, they learn our values. We provide a framework for what days look like, along with habits and expectations related to television. We may model productivity, balance, or mastery by the tyrant of technology.

Provide child sized versions of adult tasks to practice.
Make real life objects available to try the things of life.
Give toddlers a front row seat to watch you in action.

You don’t have to join the circus to entertain your little one all day. You can inspire them and initiate healthy activity as they learn to imitate a life not controlled by a remote. Tame your TV and turn your toddler on to real life.

How has this helped you make wise choices about taming your toddler’s TV?

By: Julie Sanders

Filed Under: Behavior, Julie Sanders, Toddler & Preschooler, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: Television, Toddlers Leave a Comment

Preventing Picky Eaters

December 21, 2011 By themomin

Is it really possible to raise children who aren’t picky eaters? Are there any tips to make mealtime a healthy haven of eating pleasure? It’s a dilemma most moms deal with at some time or another.

The journey to healthy kids who eat healthy food and make mealtime more relaxing and less contentious begins before they are ever born and their propensity to prefer healthy foods over junk food is nurtured throughout their childhood.

So, how can we prevent picky eaters…

Begin in the womb and while you breastfeed. While your sweet little bundle of joy is developing within your womb she is being nourished through your amniotic sac. She not only receives the nutrition she needs, but flavors of the food you eat are being transmitted, as well. The same is true when you breastfeed. Studies show that what they receive from you becomes what they desire as they grow up.
Start Early. Toddlers are often little eating machines. They put just about everything in their mouths. Take advantage of that stage. Introduce a variety of healthy foods to them while they are still in the ‘hand-to-mouth’ phase. Avoid potentially high allergenic foods and things like honey during the first year, but other than that, expose them to a wide range of foods – especially healthy ones.
Limit Snacks. Keep snacks down to a minimum and determine to keep healthy snacks on hand. Cut carrots, celery and even broccoli and keep them in a “snack container” in the fridge. When your child wants something between meals, offer them one something from the snack container and let them have all the water they want. If you don’t get their taste buds accustomed to sweets or chips in between meals, then they won’t crave those things.
Be Fruity. Fruit is a healthy addition to your child’s breakfast, a great part of any lunch and a wonderful after dinner dessert. When you make it part of the meal or the treat they get when they eat a healthy dinner, they are more prone to eat a nutritious meal and crave fruit instead of chocolate.
Let Them Help. Children LOVE to help. It makes them feel valued – it makes them feel like they’re part of the process…part of your world. When you’re at the store, let them help pick out the fruits and vegetables you’ll be taking home to prepare. Let them help clean produce before you put it up; allow them to have a helping hand in picking out the recipes (When they’re small, a cookbook with pictures is very helpful).
Educate and Connect. Teach your children how wonderful fruits and vegetables are for them. Since blueberries are known to be high in antioxidants, you can make up fun little names to help associate their benefits…like “Big Girl(or Boy) Blueberries” or “Strong Body Building Blueberries”. It may seem silly but you are planting little seeds that will help them always relate blueberries to strength or something that helps you grow to be a big girl or boy.
Make Food Fun. Kids love having fun. Use cookie cutters to create fun little shapes out of their sandwiches. Make their plate a festive food delight. Make a smiley face using raisins, grapes or bananas and celery sticks or carrots.
Define Eating Time. Family mealtime is important. Children thrive on routine and it’s important for them to know that they eat their meals with their family and that on a normal basis they have specific times when they eat. If you don’t define their eating time, they will become ‘pickers’ as well as picky eaters.
Give Them a Choice. When it’s time to eat and you give them the choice to eat what you serve or not eat at all. It doesn’t have to escalate into a food war. Just give them the choice eat or not to eat. It won’t take long for them to realize if they are hungry, they need to eat what is served. There may always be one or two things they don’t really like. They also should be allowed to have one or two types of foods they don’t really like. We all have a couple of things that turn our stomachs every time we taste them…your children will too. As they grow and you find out what it is they don’t like, just either put a small dab of that specific food on their plate with the chance their taste buds may change or don’t put it on their plate at all.
Be Their Example. Children are natural imitators. What they see, they do. That can be a good thing, but that can also be a bad thing. It’s hard to instill how wonderful it is to eat fruits and vegetables when you’ve got chocolate dripping from the corner of your lip. They will look to you to not only tell them what is right but to show them what is right by your example. Since many of us have developed our own bad eating habits, it’s definitely not always easy, but it’s another way we put their needs before our own…and when we do we show them we love them.

Eating habits aren’t always easy to define, but picky eaters become picky because parents struggle with controlling what their children eat. It’s inconvenient. It’s frustrating and it’s even sacrificial, but it’s one of the ways we love them well.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:10-20

Filed Under: Childhood, During Pregnancy, During Pregnancy (Mom & Baby), Newborn & Baby, Toddler & Preschooler, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: Conception, Fetal Development, nursing, Picky Eaters Leave a Comment