I was in seventh grade. It was lunchtime at school and I stood in a circle of friends (there were about six of us), talking about music.
“What bands do you like?” the friend across from me asked. She asked the whole group–not me specifically–and I remember being glad about that. I wanted to hear what everybody else said before I chimed in.
I wanted to make sure I said something that would fit in.
And I remember having a strange realization as I stood there silent, that I didn’t even know what music I liked. After another girl answered, I parroted what she said. I was twelve years old and unsure who I was, or what I liked or disliked.
I have many memories like that from my childhood, actually. As a young girl, I often took my queues from the influences around me. I didn’t have a strong sense of identity; but I was extremely observant and perceptive.
So the chameleon thing fit me well.
It also left me vulnerable during some pretty important years. And the more I compromised—to be perfect or popular or liked—the less I valued myself.
These days, I’m different. I sometimes even surprise myself with how deeply passionate I am about what I believe, and how excited I get when I have the opportunity to share.
It’s incredibly freeing to be grounded in who I am.
And that only came when I truly understood who God says I am, and from knowing His unconditional love.
But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) – Ephesians 2:4-5
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16
See, we’re not loved or defined by our performance. We’re not loved for correct answers or how well we fit in. We’re not loved for never making mistakes.
God loves us because God loves us.
He loves us for who we are and not what we do or don’t do.
As moms, it’s important that our kids see us living in this kind of freedom. Christ died to set us free. So let’s be who God created us to be—using our unique gifts, our unique voice, and our one life in a way that nobody else can—because He designed each of us uniquely.
We are not all the same, and that’s beautiful. We have different gifts, different backgrounds, different passions, different experiences (and even different preferences in music!). We can learn from each other and grow alongside each other and love each other, but we shouldn’t compare ourselves with each other (or wait to hear what the other person says just so we can repeat it and fit in).
Today, sweet mom, remember who God says you are. You are created in His image—fearfully and wonderfully made. Celebrate your strengths and don’t be afraid to speak up and let your unique voice be heard.
God put you in your town, your family, your job, your neighborhood… wherever you are right now, for a reason. He gave you your kids because you are the exact right mom for them. He made you and loves you unconditionally… and that’s where you get your identity.
What about you? Can you relate to my childhood story? Do you find yourself struggling to fit in our wanting to be like others? Remember, you’re loved, just as you are!
- Ch…ch…ch…CHANGES Are Coming in 2017 for TMI - December 27, 2016
- What New Thing Are You Ready to See God Do in Your Life in 2017? - December 26, 2016
- Heaviness and Newness - December 23, 2016
