Encouragement for Stepmoms

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Let’s face it! Being a stepmom can be hard, especially when you are a new at it. 

I always said that I wanted three children. Well, last year God gave me a husband whose children’s mother had passed away when they were young. I now have a daughter-eighteen and a son-twenty. I already had a ten-year-old of my own, so that gave us three children all together. God answered my life-long dream of having three kids in a way that I would never have imagined or expected.

I thought I’d been a pretty good mom to my daughter, so I figured I would have the stepmom thing down too. I was wrong! Way wrong!

Even though my step kids lost their mother many years ago, they still have hurtful wounds from growing up without a mama. I figured that I would just jump right in and start being their mom. Nope!

The step parenting relationship takes a long time to grow. Stepchildren need to trust you first and know that you won’t steal their other parent away. My new children’s father was the only person that they ever had to count on.

Step kids have to know that your intentions toward them are for their benefit and that you really are sincere with their hearts. Because my step kids were injured and wounded from not having a mom–I had to act gingerly toward their broken hearts.

I cried and prayed and whined to God, not understanding why my new kids wouldn’t let me in. I felt like whiney Job in the Bible when he pleaded with God. But, God just told my heart to keep being patient and to continue loving them the best way I could.

I had my own temper tantrums. When they wouldn’t text me back, I told their father that I wasn’t going to text or call them anymore since they weren’t responding to me. Silly, I know!

But, I kept on trying  to connect with them. I knew I had to be patient with their hearts. And you know what, about a year and a half later, they both are starting to accept me. 

God does answer our prayers, sweet mama…but in His own time.

My new daughter was struggling to pass her driving permit test. She has struggled with school in the past, and written tests scare her. I kept telling her to make flash cards and study them over and over.

After a few weeks of studying, she called me up and said she was ready to take her test and wondered if I might take her to the local county clerk’s office. I was shocked that she wanted ME to take her. So, I picked her up, and I was excited to see that she had listened to my advice and had her flash cards with her.

She took that darn test twice that day while I sat and prayed for her the whole time. And she left there with a big smile on her face as she drove us home for the first time with her driver’s permit.

But, my smile was just as big. She had finally let me into her life…just a little bit. And I was there for her at a pivotal moment when she had accomplished something that was important to her.

I know I still have a long way to go to earn my new children’s hearts. But I’m ready for the task that God has given me!

So, stepmoms…wait for those aha moments. And don’t you dare give up on them!

Be Blessed,

Allison D

Might you share with us some encouragement for other stepmoms?

Stephanie Shott
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