Lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, … teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up … -Deuteronomy 11:18-20
We all have those proud mom moments when our children surprise us and make us look like the mom of the year. You know… that rare family dinner out where all of the kids display their best table manners with no whining or crying and they remember the magic words … “please” and “thank you” and the waitress and the table of elderly ladies behind you congratulate you on how well-behaved your children are. And your chest swells with pride as your imagination plays a movie of the Mom’s Choice Awards and they call your name. Your children jump to their feet. Your husband plants a big one on your lips. The crowd goes wild. You walk to the stage and pull out your pre-written acceptance speech.
Then suddenly …
You feel a tugging at your arm.
“Mommy!”
The tugging continues.
“Mom-mm-y!??!”
You look to your left. You shake your head and blink your eyes a few times.
“I have to go potty, Mommy!”
You’re quickly brought back to reality and gladly take your little one’s hand in yours and head off to the potty.
Then … there are those not so proud moments.
You’re standing in line and you’re little two-year-old innocently declares, “Mommy! Dat old man is ugwly!”
Or … like the moment a four-year-old who may, or may not, be mine, was standing on the church steps with the most distinguished, godly men of your conservative church, tugs on his daddy’s hand and says, “Come on daddy, let’s go to 7-11 and get us a beer!”
Yes. That actually happened. And, I must add that he and his daddy never, before (or after), “went to 7-11 to get themselves a beer.”
These are the moments that any mom would beg off for a “grown-up time-out.”
“Please! Send me to my room for 2 hours! I promise I’ll be quiet and not come out unless I’m called.”
Can you relate?
Our children are the only human beings on the planet who can bring us such elation and such woe! Sometimes, almost simultaneously. One minute our chests swell with pride. The next minute we wonder why they have to take after their father’s side. 🙂
It’s hard to believe that these “grown-up time out” memories are nearly 22 years old! Older mom friends would tell me (at the worst possible moments), enjoy every moment. You’ll blink your eyes and they will be grown and gone. Inevitably those sentiments [albeit true] would be uttered during one of those numerous “please send me to time-out” moments.
Few seasons of life bring more “grown-up time out” moments than the start up of school. Naturally, there’s a build up of excitement. New teachers. New friends. New clothes. New spiral notepads. New backpacks and lunch boxes.
And then … reality.
The newness wears off as the realization of rushed mornings and homework filled evenings enters the home front.
With that in mind, I’m going to sum up in just 3 tips how to make it through those “grown-up time out” moments.
#1 – Create a serene home environment – There’s no such thing as a perfect home. BUT … do what you can to create a serene and peaceful environment in your home. Play peaceful music in the morning while the household is waking up. Prepare for the next day to eliminate unnecessary frustration and stress in the morning. Try to not over schedule your day. Eat dinner together as often as possible and make the dinner table an “electronic free” zone.
#2 – Create a routine – Children, from new born to adulthood thrive on routine. While there are seasons of life that routine is less necessary, for the busy seasons, planning ahead and sticking to your plan will give a sense of security and stability to your family. Say “NO” to activities that you know will upset the routine and cause added, unnecessary stress.
#3 – Keep a sense of humor – Learn to laugh at yourself. Have fun & lighten up whenever possible. When my three kids were in high school we had the opportunity to host a South Korean Student. One afternoon as soon as all four kiddos climbed into the van and settled into their seats, my oldest son handed me a yellow slip of paper. I knew by it’s color that it was a detention. With the best “mean mom” look I could muster, I made sure he locked eyes with mine in the rear view mirror. Then, my middle son said, “Um, Mom … I got one too, but it wasn’t my fault!” He handed his yellow slip of paper to me. I took an overly-dramatic deep breath, cleared my throat, ready to give an award winning mom lecture. When another arm extended from the back of the van. In his broken English he said, “Um, Mom Brown, I need you to sign this.” He handed me his yellow slip of paper. That was the breaking point. My boys began belly laughing. As determined as I was to not crack a smile, I let out a burst of laughter, while tossing the three detention slips into the air. We all laughed until we cried. Humor, I say!
How about you? What are your top 3 tips to make it through our “grown-up time out” moments?
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