We all have those proud mom moments when our children surprise us and make us look like the mom of the year. You know… that rare family dinner out where all of the kids display their best table manners with no whining or crying and they remember the magic words … “please” and “thank you” and the waitress and the table of elderly ladies behind you congratulate you on how well-behaved your children are. And your chest swells with pride as your imagination plays a movie of the Mom’s Choice Awards and they call your name. Your children jump to their feet. Your husband plants a big one on your lips. The crowd goes wild. You walk to the stage and pull out your pre-written acceptance speech.
Then suddenly you feel a tugging at your arm.
“Mommy!”
The tugging continues.
“Mommy!??!”
You look to your left. You shake your head and blink your eyes a few times.
“I have to go potty, Mommy!”
You’re quickly brought back to reality and gladly take your little one’s hand in yours and head off to the potty … and not a moment too soon.
Then … there are those not so proud moments. You’re standing in line and you’re little two year old innocently declares, “That old man is ugly!”
Or … like the moment your four year old, standing on the church steps with the most distiguished, godly men of the conservative, Baptist church, grabs his daddy’s hand and says, “Come on daddy, let’s go to 7-11 and get us a beer!”
Yes. That actually happened. And, I must add, I assure you, he and his daddy, never before (or after) “went to 7-11 to get themselves a beer.”
Pictures of the perfect family dinner are dashed in a nanosecond when your four year old pushes her plate away declaring suddenly that her once favorite meal is disgusting, and the battle of wills ensues.
You battle getting your little ones into the bath, and then battle trying to convince them it’s time to get out of the bath.
This is the life of motherhood. The WONDERFUL life of motherhood. These are the moments we learn to take the good with the bad. These are the moments we remember with great humility from our childless days when we declared, “My child will never act like that.”
These are the moments that at the end of the day when we lay our heads on our pillow we simultaneously thank God for the priceless gift of being our kids’ mom. and just how ill equipped we are to parent these precious, moldable children.
And then everyone in a while someone comes along to give us insight into what we can do right in raising and molding our precious gifts, as we lead them to the heart of Jesus.
Here are just a few …
1. She teaches her children the value of their NAME
“A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches.” — Proverbs 22:1
Children should be taught early in life that their greatest asset is their name. Parents should remind their children often the importance of protecting their name, including their last name.
Almost without exception, each of us can think of a name that has a negative connotation to it. Chances are, you can think of a name right now that you refuse to name your child, because your memory of that person with the name is not a good memory. On the flip side, everyone can think of a name that has great meaning, because of the reputation of that person.
Reputation and name go hand in hand. Once your name is tarnished it is very difficult to reverse the damage.
Teach them to be proud of their last name. Remind them that if they give their last name a bad name, they are giving their family a bad name.
2. She loves her children unconditionally
“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the most important of all the things we can give them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.” — Rosaleen Dickson
Children must know that there is nothing they can do that would cause you to stop loving them. They will likely form their perception of their Heavenly Father by the way their earthly parents love them. They will not know this unless you show them. You can tell them often, but if you don’t show your love for them, they’ll never feel completely loved.
Do you stand by your child’s side when they make wrong choices or do you demean them for their mistakes? Do you pull away from them when they have wronged you, or do you lovingly deal with the situation so that your relationship is quickly restored?
Don’t let a day go by without telling and showing your children how much you love them!
3. She is involved in her children’s FRIENDSHIPS
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” — Unknown
It is a law of nature. Your child will become whomever they spend most of their time. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” The best point of defense is to be on the offense. You can do this by knowing whom your child is spending time with. Be on the look out for warning signs.
If you notice a sudden (or even gradual) change in your child’s behavior or attitude, it is time to begin prying into their friendship.
If you lay down the law about friendships when your children are young, it will be much easier for them to accept your guidelines at age 11, 13 or 15 when you say, “enough… I don’t want you to hang around with the boy or girl that you are hanging around with.”
Be willing and prepared to be lovingly firm to protect your child from friends that are not a good influence. DO NOT COMPROMISE ON THIS ISSUE. This is a battle worth fighting!
4. She says “NO” from time to time
“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.” – Richard L. Evans
It is okay to say “no” to your child, even if you can afford what they want. It is very important that your children learn early on that they must handle the word “no” in an amenable manner. Whether your children are in the toddler stage, adolescent or teen years, if they throw a fit or take on an inappropriate attitude when you say “no” it is time to pull back the reigns a bit and say, “no” until they can handle it in an agreeable manner.
Almost anyone can afford a .69-cent matchbox car. Saying “no” has little to do with whether you can afford the item or not. Saying “no” keeps your children’s wants and needs in perspective.
Finally, the ultimate key to raising children who will one day own their own faith can be found in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
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