How to Have Fun When They Don’t Feel Like It

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I have a confession.

Deep down I have a lazy side.

I’d prefer to do only what I “feel like” doing, but still have success.

You know I’d prefer to not work out or watch what I eat and lose weight. Or have a book deal fall into my lap and a book pour out of me that requires no editing.

And the same is true of mothering.

I want it to be easy. My kids to obey me, respect me, and on the rare occasion they disagree with me they respectfully state their opinion and don’t complain when I don’t heed their advice.

But reality isn’t that easy. Mothering isn’t just learning to live in relative peace nor is it laying down the law.

TMI Don't Feel Like It

Mothering is molding and shaping children into adults. It is noticing strengths and weaknesses in each life God entrusts to you and encouraging the strengths while helping prune away the weaknesses.

And my children – much like myself – only want to do what they “feel like” doing. That means when I come up with fun plans – like going swimming or inviting friends over or even going on a scooter ride as a family (yes my husband and I own adult-sized scooters) – my kids may not “want to” do the fun activity.

All too often I take it personally. So how do I have fun when they “don’t want to?”

  • My husband and I decide what activities we will do. Yes I ask my kids’ opinion, but I also tell them, “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t think you want to do. You chose your attitude. If you have a good one it may not be your favorite thing to do, but you will have fun.”
  • I must choose a good attitude as well. Often my internal dialogue begins before we even tell the kids what we planned. I fight thoughts like: They are going to fuss about this and it is going to be a battle. Why do we even try? Pretty soon my attitude is terrible and I struggle to have fun.
  • Set ground rules before taking off. I discovered it is better to address attitudes, feelings, and expectations about the activity before we set out. So I say, “I realize this may not be your idea, but we can have fun. However we will not accept whining or complaining. If you need to tell me something negative or unhappy, you need to use honoring and respectful words and tone.” Then we discuss potential consequences.
  • Throw expectations out the window. I have discovered is things never go the way I expect. What I think will be fun can turn into a disaster in less than 10 seconds. So instead of thinking how much fun everyone is going to have, I pray we have stories to remember or tell. Stories that illustrate good attitudes even when some activity wasn’t our favorite or how trying something new was really fun.

How do you handle it when your fun idea becomes a battlefield of whining and complaining?

Stephanie Shott
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