How to Start an Advice Sharing, But Not Preaching, Conversation

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Conversations with Teens about dating and relationships

There is a painful reoccurring story; you’ve probably heard it too.

Good girl falls for bad guy.

I can’t tell you how many times I have received prayer requests from moms, broken-hearted over their daughter’s new boyfriend. The type of guy she had always taught her girl not to go for.

And her daughter agreed…for a long time; or at least it seemed like a long time to the girl. Then the waiting for the godly type of guy got too long…and she went for what was going for her.

With two daughters now 18 and 16, not to mention a son who is 21, have I either felt the pain of relationships that were less than best for my child or have had the fear of one.

But you don’t just march into your daughter’s room and dive right into a conversation of this sort.

“Don’t fall for a bad guy” just isn’t a great conversation starter.

So how is a mom to go about beginning these important but difficult talks?

Begin by asking for her advice.

“Why do you think this happens to girls?”

“What can a girl do to prevent falling in love with a guy that isn’t good for her?”

Then listen.

You might just find yourself surprised! Your girl might pull out of her heart truth and you’ll be the mom who feels comfort.

And if she doesn’t seem to know how the Bible would answer the question you have posed, be ready to give her the answer, from God’s perspective.

When you show respect for your child’s opinions and you demonstrate value in what they say, in time, you’ll find that respect and value coming right back at you.

YOUR TURN: DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH TALKING ABOUT DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR TEENS? IS THE STORY, GOOD GIRL FALLS FOR BAD GUY A FAMILIAR ONE FOR YOU OR YOUR FAMILY?

By: Lynn Cowell

Lynn Cowell
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