Shivering through goosebumps as I laid in my window seat–God had gotten my attention. The flashback to when Wade & Bea had prayed over me was suddenly loud and audible, instead of staying in the past. It sept forth into the present and mixed with the word, Eucharisteo— jarring another memory from reading the book 1000 gifts.
“Heather, I can barely put it into words, but God wants you to know he is here; he is always there for you. It’s like that feeling of being watched and when you look over your shoulder, you won’t see anyone, but trust me God is with you.”
I’ve been struggling with being so busy and was ashamed to admit, I didn’t want to take the time to read the Bible, do my prayer time, or devotions. Something I used to love, had lost its passion and joy–turning it into a mundane task. Yet, the more I ran through my week without trying, the thirster and more restless I became.
There were many nights in the last two months that I begged God to renew my passion, to create a heart just for him again. Each day I tried to sit at the table and go through the motions, the more I ached to just be done with it. But I wanted his presence so badly. Then I read the meaning of the words Eucharisteo–meaning thanksgiving, grace, joy in the constant. The word meant a way to a fuller life, instead of being a tired and weary mama.
As I sat up from the window seal, these two seemingly unconnected events–weaved together around the words from Ezekiel 36:25-27:
I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take our your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you, so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.
Do you see the picture yet? Do you see the connections? My dear little mama, God doesn’t want us to be obligated to spend time with him in a moment of structure. He wants to spend every waking moment with us. He wants to commune with us. As I walked through those dry and empty days, God was trying to get my attention.
I bet you feel the same way sometimes. You want to be a good christian, to be a devoted woman of God; yet when you turn the pages of your Bible, you’re spirit is restless and the pages feel dry. It’s time to change your relationship with God. What I discovered laying on my window seat is this: God doesn’t want our time with him to be slotted into a specific time, and rigid in reading his word. He wants to walk with us, commune with us, talk to us. He wants to share the days with us.
He knows we are busy caring for our little ones, and he isn’t asking for a time of commitment. He is asking that we give thanks in the moments around us, to talk to him, find the joy in the weary, find the thanksgiving in the mundane. He is asking to join us when we are picking up socks, referreeing the 18th sibling squabble, and breathe in his goodness as we drift off to sleep.
He doesn’t want us to be stuck in devotional time and Bible time; both of these have significance– but God wants an ongoing dialogue. And if you’re feeling dry, disconnected; ask him to renew your heart. In Ezekiel he says he will, he will give us the passion if we have the ‘want to.’
If you’ve been feeling tired, restless, and thirsty try these tips:
1. Keep a list for one week of things you are thankful for (from the book 1000 Gifts). Here’s my list:
- band-aids with angels.
- coffee wafting before I wake
- husband’s broad shoulders
- the faith of my son
- Tori’s strong fighting spirit
- baking bread
- my daughter’s smile
- the soft light glowing in the middle of the night
- shrimp
- fluffy white clouds
- robin’s eggs in our back yard
- a good book
- silence
- brother saying sorry to sister
2. Ask God to renew your passion, it doesn’t have to be fancy. Tell him you are tired and thirsty.
3. Pray that he opens your eyes to the world he created around you.
4. As you go about your day of carpool, diaper changing, instructing, and laundry; tell God what is on your mind, your thoughts, feelings, frustrations and all.
5. Ask God to help start a running conversation through out each day.
6. Wake up each day and ask him, “God who do you want me to bless today? And will you be present as I start out today?”
What tips can you offer than helps bring God into the present?
- Ch…ch…ch…CHANGES Are Coming in 2017 for TMI - December 27, 2016
- What New Thing Are You Ready to See God Do in Your Life in 2017? - December 26, 2016
- Heaviness and Newness - December 23, 2016
