I Will Carry You

Spread the love

Lightning pain coursed through my abdomen. I was nearing my 5th abdominal surgery in four years. Like the pinball in a pinball machine, I bounced from doctor to doctor trying to find the answer to my mystery illness. Some mornings, the only thing I could pray was “Jesus help me” as I doubled over on the floor.

“Was I dying?”

“Did I have a hidden cancer they couldn’t find?”

“What was wrong with me?”

It was a parched, lonely season, one of unrelenting isolation. I so desperately needed a friend who understood my pain. I remember a day when I was emotionally breaking under the weight of my fears. Flooded with “what if’s,” a tear created a thin road through my make-up as I tried to blink back my desperation. I reached out to someone about my hurt, but the door slammed shut. I left the conversation more physically and emotionally broken than when it had begun. I couldn’t believe how easily, someone that had been my friend for years, had dismissed my brokenness. The wound was deep and I wasn’t sure if the friendship would ever be the same.

After ten years of walking this road, I’ve learned to give grace more easily in my friendships. I spent years holding on to a few conversations that didn’t meet my expectations, while I withheld grace from those I felt abandoned me in my time of need. When we are in need, it is human nature to reach out to a friend or family member, and I encourage you to do so. However, God showed me that every relational disappointment I encountered was his way of saying:

 “Your burden is too big for you. It’s also too big for your friends, but in no way is it too big for Me. I will carry you.” 

In Mark 2, we meet a group of men that physically carry and lower their friend through the roof of someone’s home in order to get him to Jesus. These men were carriers. These friends literally took on the weight of their friends’ illness and ushered him to the feet of Christ.

The truth is, we fondly remember those that carry us through tragedy, those friends that help us when we cannot help ourselves. Yet, I have learned that it is unfair to always place God-sized burdens on those we care about. I pray that God continually transforms me into the carrying type of friend, but also a woman who gives grace freely in friendships. There are times when we must lift up our friends when our friends cannot lift a finger, but also seasons in which God must do the heavy lifting for us.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Stephanie Shott
Latest posts by Stephanie Shott (see all)
Share