She Calls Me Friend

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“Come on in and have a seat. Let me pour you a cup of this! Let’s chat.”

What woman doesn’t enjoy those words; either from another woman that she just met or one that’s been a friend for a while?

How many of us long for such an exchange?

THAT is friendship at its best. That is what enriches our souls as women.

I know that God is my ultimate source of unconditional comfort, but He also put in us a desire for companionship here on earth.

It seems at times that it’s the most difficult to find and cultivate those face to face, do-life-together kind of friendships.

I remember a time not too long ago that my husband flat out told me that it was time for me to find a best friend. I thought that HE was my best friend. He clarified, while calming me down, that I needed a woman speaking encouragement into my life, as well as someone that I could pour into.

True. So true!

From the time that I started writing on my blog, I gained a wealth of friends; women that are great and I’d spend a day with any of them…but that wasn’t an option.

My husband saw my lack and need for a more personal female influence. I opened myself up and prayed that God would send such a woman.

He did!

I met her at one of our boy’s basketball practices. The thing about her that caught my eye was the book that she was reading that I’d once read. Instant connection!

“Okay, Lord…is this my cue?” One thing that you should know about me is that my personality type screams “play it safe and be quiet.”

I had to make the first step! I’d already told God and my husband that I would!

I’m glad that I did! What came from that one moment was many hours of chats, Bible study, book reading and coffee sessions in the near future. She quickly became a best friend.

I’m not saying that every woman that we meet we’ll have that instant connection, but if we never step out, we won’t know how much richer our lives will be.

I also know that there are many, many women that have been wounded deeply in friendships. I’ve been there. Trusting again (and sometimes again and again) is a choice.

There are some things I’ve learned about women and friendships:

  • She’s a woman just like me. We share a lot of the same needs, wants and desires.
  • She may be praying that I come to speak to her. Not all women are outgoing and need me to approach them.
  • Just because we’re both stay-at-home moms doesn’t mean that she’s home all day. She may have a jam-packed schedule that doesn’t allow for extended hang out time.
  • Just because she works away from her home, don’t automatically assume that she’s always working. She very well may have some down time in the evening for an extended hang out time.
  • Be open to becoming friends with a woman that would seem to be a highly unlikely friend. So what if she has a look totally different from mine. I think I’ll need to look back at my first point.
  • Its good for me to remember not expect too much of one person.
  • Above all, ask God for a discerning spirit when it comes to befriending. I pray that my heart is always in check and that I never have an agenda for becoming friends and that my new friend is actively seeking the same thing.

I know that I’ve only scratched a top layer of this subject of friendship. There are sometimes skills that need to be learned when it comes to communicating with and relating to others. Hopefully we can dig deeper into that soon.

By: Kela Nellums

Stephanie Shott
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