A Letter to Younger Women

April 17, 2013 By
BEFORE WE DIVE INTO TODAY’S POST, WE WANT TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER OF RENEWED BY LUCILLE ZIMMERMAN…. CONGRATULATIONS GOES TO LEANNE THORNTON!
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Dear Younger Women,I am so thankful that God has brought you into my life.  I love our times together, and cherish each moment we have. As we walk this journey together, there are things you need to know.  I’d like take a few minutes to share some things with you:

  • Just because I am older, does not mean I have it all together.  I am learning and growing too. Please don’t put me on a pedestal or expect me to be perfect. I  will let you down. I don’t want to let you down…but I will.  Much of mentoring is observing the lives of others.   Watch me live, but please don’t expect to see perfection.
  • Women in my season of life face challenges too. Our children may be older, but  they still weigh heavy on our hearts.  Not only are we facing the challenges of having older children, and the fact that those precious people we have raised are now leaving our home, but we are also in a season of watching our parents age and pass away.  It is a huge transition season. We are facing menopause. We get tired. We get emotional. We grow weary. We are watching our bodies age.  Just because we are older, doesn’t mean that our life is easy.  Please keep that in mind.
  • I am not your hope.  Please don’t make me your focus or try to do everything my way.  If I am a good mentor, I will constantly point you to God and challenge you to pray about how you should live your life.  Just because I have done something a certain way, doesn’t mean it is the way you should be.  God knows you better than I ever will.  Seek my counsel, but always focus on God. He is your hope.  I am not.
  • I cannot revolve my schedule around you.  I love our time together, but I have a home,  family and other responsibilities that I am called to.  I am trying to be faithful to live my calling well.  There are other people in my life who need my time.  If I am late for a scheduled time together, or have to cancel, please be patient with me.  I am doing the best I can to  serve you, and many others at the same time.
  • Sometimes I have to say “No”. If there is a time that I cannot meet with you, or am not available for some reason, please don’t take it personally.  My lack of time will never reflect my heart for you. I love you and desire to spend time with you, but there are going to be times it is just not possible.  Sometimes my desire to serve others takes over, and I over commit myself.  I don’t want to do that, but I do.  Please pray for me that I would know how the Lord wants me to spend my time.
  • Let’s try to communicate in person or over the phone. My generation is not the texting generation.  I love the option of texting, and have alot of fun with it, but I don’t want that to become our way of communicating.  So much can be lost in a text.  Misunderstandings can happen.  Sometimes I forget to carry my phone, or don’t respond right away.  Please take it at face value, and don’t take it personally.
  • I cannot read your mind.  I don’t always know what you need.  Please tell me.  I will pray for you, be there as I am able, and do whatever I can to help you practically, and spiritually.  But you have to let me know what you need.  I will never purposefully neglect you, but I might miss something.  I need you to be open with me.
  • Again, I am not your hope.  Only God will meet your deepest needs at every level.  My goal is to  come along side you and strengthen you in God, so that when the day comes that I am not there, you will be depending on Him, and not me.
As I keep in mind that you are still young and learning, I strive to see you through eyes of grace, knowing you are in a process of growth and maturity.  Please try to see me through that lens as well.  I may not be young anymore, but I am still learning and maturing.  I need to be seen through eyes of grace.
Thank you so much for allowing me to be a small part of your life.
Love,
An Older Woman

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Dancing with Nana

January 23, 2013 By

 

By Guest: Michelle Lazurek

 

“Nana, do you know how to dance?” At age seven, I longed to glide gracefully across a dance floor and envisioned myself doing so in a long, flowing dress.

She chuckled to herself and answered, “We moved a little differently than you kids do today, but all dancing begins with a few basic steps.”

“Can you show me? Please?”

I knew Nana, one of the most important people in my life, would never refuse my request. Because she lived in the adjacent house, I spent more time with her than just about anyone. I fondly remember going over to her house to have dinner on Sunday evenings. When Nana strolled into the kitchen, she’d lift the lid and let me inhale the steam from the garlic infused potatoes and peered into the oven to watch the moist droplets of roast beef drip into the underlying pan.

images-2During the summer, I would sleep over at Nana’s. I remember packing my things, tucking a box of Frosted Flakes cereal under my arm and making the long trek next door. I loved spending my weekends there, watching while Nana finished her crossword puzzle at the kitchen table. Occasionally, we rocked slowly back and forth in matching rocking chairs as we enjoyed the cool breeze of late summer. We talked for hours about whatever was on my mind. And sometimes we sat silently, merely enjoying each other’s company. She taught me a lot about how the world works—how to sew on a button or the magic of putting ketchup on my scrambled eggs. And on one of these carefree summer days I asked her to teach me to dance.

Nana bounced her wiry frame over to me and asked me to stand in the middle of the kitchen floor. “I’ll show you the box step. Put you hand on my waist here.” She grabbed my hand and placed it on her right hip and clasped my other hand in hers lifting it above her head.

We began to dance. I placed my left foot to my left, then in front of me, then the right, then back to where I started. I slid my finger across the back of her hand, noticing prominent wrinkles firmly embedded in the leathery exterior. Nana hummed a made-up tune as our movements became swifter, keeping time by repeating the same four words: One two three four.

And so we danced, the minutes slipping away, enjoying each other’s company, pushing toward the same goal, delighting in the joy of our rhythms.

One two three four.

The mentoring relationship works much the same as dancing. Two people draw together, invited into each other’s space. One leads the other, going through the motions in an effort to dance. Awkward at first, each one gives and takes in order to create the rhythm, each person taking a turn at being the leader, and then being led. Slowly, as the partners practice together and commit to the dance, their movements become one, and dance in time to the beat of the music that is their spiritual journey. The Lord yearns to cut in, inviting you to His dance.

My Nana, My Mentor

My nana played an important part of my life. Most of my most relished childhood memories include her. In addition to teaching me about life, she also had an incredible hand in my spiritual formation. Every week she took me to church, where I was introduced to God. Although my theology has changed quite a bit over the years, she instilled in me the value of consistent church attendance and the importance of being part of a church community. As a pastor’s wife and church planter, this love for the church has fueled me and spurred me on toward love and good deeds (see Hebrews 10:24–25). If it were not for my relationship with my nana, I might not be the person I am today.

The mentoring relationship is the same as dancing. The leader, who has a basic knowledge of the rhythmic timing and format of the dance, leads another or—in our culture of support groups and small groups—others as they learn how to dance. On occasion, these people step on each others’ toes and prevent each other from learning the dance. But in the same way as I allowed my nana to lead me, the apprentices of the group submit to the leader, who, in turn, dances with them until they have refined all aspects of the dance. Soon, each member is gliding along the dance floor, the timing and rhythm of each movement executed flawlessly in one fluid movement.

Think about the relationships in your own life. Which ones have shaped you into the person you are today? Are you still in contact with any of those people? What does the relationship look like today? Do you impact others’ lives as those people have influenced yours? As God brings to mind the lessons you have learned from those experiences, pray about who might benefit from those lessons in your own life.

I want to encourage you to find someone who needs mentoring. This can be anyone—from the woman behind the coffee shop counter to the person sitting next to you at church. Mentoring is the key by which disciples are made. If a master doesn’t pass on his knowledge and expertise to a willing apprentice, the next generation will not be equipped to carry on the legacy that came before her. All of us have stories that have influenced us, experiences that have shaped us, both positively and negatively.

Someone in your life is waiting to dance. Will you invite her to join you?

 

A bit about Michelle:

Michelle S. Lazurek is a pastor’s wife, author, speaker and proud She Speaks Graduate. She empowers people to live out the stories God has written for their lives. Her first book Becoming the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved: Discover your Character in God’s Love Story and her blog can be found at www.michellelazurek.com

 

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5 Types of Mentors That Drive Mentees Crazy & 2 MORE GIVEAWAYS & SIGN UP to LEAD A M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP

January 10, 2013 By

TODAY at 11 a.m,  six of the M.O.M.s from the The M.O.M. Initiative team will be on Lisa Shaw’s Radio Show, The Whole Woman!!! We all LOVE Lisa Shaw… founder and host of The Whole Woman! PLEASE JOIN US at 11:00 a.m. Eastern time!

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Overwhelmed_3D_ClearAND THE WINNERS OF YESTERDAY’S GIVEAWAYS ARE…

  • Just Too Busy PLUS the Leader’s Guide by Joanne Kraft ~ Teri Lynn Hatcher
  • Making Money from Home by Donna Partow ~ Melinda T

AND DON’T FORGET…

OVERWHELMED  is NOW available for ALL subscribers! BUT you can also SIGN UP to START a M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP IN YOUR AREA.

CLICK HERE and let THE MENTORING BEGIN!

 

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AND…HERE ARE TODAY’S GIVEAWAYS…

(ENTER TO WIN ONE OF TODAY’S GIVEAWAYS BY SUBSCRIBING OR COMMENTING)

Ecclesiastes JPEG pic SmallUnderstanding What Matters Most

by Stephanie Shott

 

 

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And now for today’s fun and quirky post by Stephanie Shott:

Let’s face it, not all mentor/mentee relationships were made in heaven. Some can be tough. At times personalities don’t gel. That’s human nature and a wise mentor will see that she’s not the girl for the job and gently remove herself while trying to replace herself at the same time.

There’s something beautiful about a mentor/mentee relationship that works, but that doesn’t always happen.

It’s like a ship that sets sail with two people on it. Sometimes they enjoy the ride, other times they’re ready to throw each other overboard. :-)

At times, the mentee is to blame. Other times, it’s the mentor who is responsible for mucking up the mentor waters and making a mentee want to throw her overboard. And then there are times when it’s just not working for either of them and it’s really no one’s fault.

Today, we’re going to share a few ways in which a mentor can blow it with a mentee:

images-41. SMARTY-PANTS BULLY ~ The Mentor Momma who KNOWS EVERYTHING and for some reason, she always seems ANGRY ~

If you’ve ever been around someone who thinks she has all the answers and comes across like she’s ready to bite your head off, you know exactly what I’m talking about. She’s intimidating… daunting. She makes you feel like you can never do anything right and you certainly don’t want to ask Mrs. Know-It-All any questions.

Every time she leaves, you wonder why in the world she would ever mentor a mother and you hope she decides you’re wasting her time so she won’t come back.

You’d tell her you don’t want her to come back yourself, but the thought of doing that scares the bajeebers out of you.

Like the bully in grade school, she thinks she knows everything and always acts like she’s mad at you.

 

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2. NOSY NELLIE ~ The Mentor Momma who seems to think she has to have her nose in your business in order to be a good mentor.

We’ve all known someone who thought her job was to mind your business instead of her own. The one who asks probing and personal questions that catch you off guard leave you feeling very uncomfortable.

She makes you wonder if what you tell her will be held in confidence because she spends most of your time together talking about other people.

You begin to avoid spending time with her because she’s so stinkin’ nosy. Finally, you find yourself leaving the house before she gets there to run an ‘emergency’ errand so you can miss your scheduled time with her.

Like the nosy high school friend you avoided, Nosy Nellie has a knack for running people off and then wonders why no one wants to spend any time with her.

 

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3. LOUSY LISTENER ~ The Mentor Momma who is there to tell you about all her troubles and leaves you wondering if she will ever be quiet.

We all know it’s not easy to be around someone who is so busy talking about themselves that they never stop long enough to listen. They’re relentless and they drive you crazy! All you can think of is, “Could someone PLEASE stop her!”

She really doesn’t have any interest in mentoring you. She is there to talk. And talk. And talk.

You start fidgeting in your chair and waiting for the second she stops long enough to catch her breath so you can tell her that you need to go to the grocery store, or take the dog to the vet, or get to your doctor’s appointment…something, anything to get away from the non-stop rambling.

You thought she was there to mentor you, but she’s a lousy listener who would rather talk your ear off than take time to listen to the one she should be ministering to.

 

images-34. DOUBLE TROUBLE ~ The Mentor Momma who thinks she needs to bring in reinforcements and gang up on you to get her point across.

You know her. She’s the one who can’t be just ONE. She seems to have the need to bring someone else into your very personal conversation and makes you feel like you’re being battered by both of them.

She told you everything would be confidential and then she shows up with someone else to tell you twice what she has already told you once.

She’s like the girl in high school who always had to have other girls around to validate her. When you see her coming, you know it’s really double trouble because someone else will be with her to mimic what she says. So you try to avoid her like the plague.

 

 

images-15. EXCUSE MAKING MOMMA ~ The Mentor Momma who has an excuse for everything. She tends to run late, isn’t prepared, doesn’t have her act together and constantly makes excuses for herself.

We all have friends like this. They leave you waiting at Starbucks for 30 minutes and when they get there, they give you the same excuse as they gave you last week.

They told you to read through chapters 1 through 5 of Overwhelmed and you did. But when she arrives she lays out a list of excuses as to why she couldn’t come prepared.

She doesn’t have any problems making plans. She just can’t seem to keep them. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t remember the plans she makes.

It’s always someone else’s fault that she struggles with being unorganized. It’s always someone else’s fault that she lost her keys or loses her temper.

She’s like your little brother who loved to play the blame game and point his fingers at you. She’s an excuse making momma and she simply wears you out with her excuses.

So, there you have it. Five types of mentors that drive mentees crazy.

The mentor/mentee relationship is really such a beautiful thing. It is meant to strengthen both the mentor and the mentee. It’s a pouring out and a drinking in. Two women doing life together. Maybe not forever. Perhaps just for a season. 

But it’s a journey the two take together. Laughing together, crying together, praying together and doing life together.

That, sweet sister, is what mentoring is all about.

And when it works, there’s nothing like it.

And when it doesn’t, it’s not time to give up on the wonders of a Titus 2 relationship. It’s just time to find a new Titus 2 mentor or time for the Titus 2 mentor to be a woman whose footprints are worth following.

Do you have any mentoring horror stories? Would you be a mentor that would fall in any of the 5 categories above? How can you make sure you’re leaving footprints worth following? 

 

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Begin a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group In Your Area

January 6, 2013 By

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YOU CAN GET OVERWHELMED FREE BY SUBSCRIBING TO OUR WEBSITE. IT’S OUR GIFT TO YOU…THE OVERWHELMED MOM.

But you can also begin A M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and use Overwhelmed as a FREE resource to mentor another mother.

You see, NOW, more than ever, moms need mentoring mommas who are willing to share the gift of themselves!

NOW, more than ever, Titus 2 mommas are ready to step up to the plate and pour their lives into moms!

YOU CAN BE PART OF THE REVOLUTION

OF WOMEN WHO ARE READY AND WILLING TO

TAKE TITUS  2 TO THE STREETS!

 

BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and begin to change the world, one mom at a time!

We have provided a 6 week experience with 31 stories from real moms who have walked in the shoes of the overwhelmed mom and found hope, healing and victory through walking with God and applying biblical truths to everyday life.

In Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., they share their stories.

Overwhelmed is coming out on January 7th and it is our gift to the body of Christ…a FREE resource to help you begin or expand your mentoring ministry. Like Facing Our Fears ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., Overwhelmed gives mentors the tools, the confidence and the support they need to boldly step into their Titus 2 shoes and nurture those mentor/mentee relationships.

THIS IS OUR GENERATION to make a difference for such a time as this.

The M.O.M. Initiative is here for you. To be a “mentoring hub” of sorts. A place where mentors can find resources and support and share their information, so that young moms in search of a mentor can find a mentor in their area, as well as the support and encouragement they need.

NOW IS THE TIME! WILL YOU JOIN THE REVOLUTION OF WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING AND READY TO PUT THEMSELVES OUT THERE AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

SIGN UP TODAY and you will receive Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M. when it comes out on January 7th.

In Overwhelmed, each story includes reflective questions specifically designed to serve as conversation prompts and help foster the mentor/mentee relationship as you navigate the life of an overwhelmed mom together.

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

  • Schedule a time and place to meet weekly for six weeks.
  • You and the mentee will read through 5 stories each week and be prepared when you meet together each week.
  • As a mentor, you can rest in knowing, this biblically-based resource includes questions at the end of each story that are specifically designed to be a catalyst for conversation. This will give you, as a mentor, the confidence to know you won’t have to worry about that awkward silence that would normally leave you scrambling for something to say.
  • The questions are also written to help you, as a mentor, reflect on your own story and share your failures as well as your successes with the kind of sincere transparency that will assure your mentee that she is not alone and that her mentor isn’t Pinterest perfect either.
  • Your time together is a tool to nurture a relationship that will hopefully last long past the book.

Need some ideas as to where you can become intentionally missional about mentoring?

Churches, para-minisitries, MOPS groups, MOMS Club International and individuals can use Overwhelmed as a mentoring tool to not only mentor moms within the church, but to go beyond her four walls and minister to moms in low income apartment complexes, neighborhoods, crisis pregnancy centers, homeless shelters, juvenile shelters and wherever moms can be found.

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Mom and Mentor a Winning Duet

August 28, 2012 By

        Subscribe today for your FREE copy of…

FACING YOUR FEARS – 31 STORIES FROM M.O.M.

 

 

By Featured Guest: Pam Farrel

In Raising a Modern Day Princess, Pam’s book (co-author with Doreen Hanna) , moms and mentors team up to help walk young women through a rite of passage learning what it means to walk in a manner worthy of her calling—a daughter of the King of Kings—a Modern Day Princess. Mom and mentor might be seen as a winning duet helping a teen girl live the song of life God created her for.

Some of you might have grown up hearing Dick Clark play songs on American Bandstand, then ask for a rating from eager teens. If it was a song with a strong beat, it rated high. My mom [Pam’s] would get a high mother rating because she provided a beat for my life I could “dance to.” The resounding mantras of my mother’s words echo in my heart:

  • Take the high road.
  • Be part of the solution.
  • Be a loyal friend.
  • Search for God until you find Him.
  • Celebrate all you can in life because life can be traumatic. Look for times and ways to mark the moments that matter.

As I look back, I recognize that my mom tried her best to mark my important moments. However it was her character that served as the musical score to my heart.  As the maestro of your daughter’s life, the traits your daughter needs to see in you are:

Security

Industry

Nobility

Generosity

As you live these qualities out, she learns to live out God’s song for her. In addition, a wise mom will select a mentor(s) the echo that song , or back up your words and role model of a life well lived before your daughter. So what are the traits of a good mentor?

As you and your daughter consider a woman mentor, you may identify women who you already recognize as mentors in your own life or your daughter’s. For your daughter it may be a teacher, coach, youth leader, close friend, or family member (such as an older cousin or aunt). If you don’t see a mentor in your daughter’s life at this present time, we encourage you to begin praying that God will bring one into her life.

Releasing our daughters into the care of a mentor honors her highly. It means we (mothers) trust and respect this woman and are secure in the knowledge that she is like-minded and will uphold our standards of godliness and integrity.

Following are qualities that are important in a good mentor, she becomes: 

  • A friend – someone who will walk alongside your daughter and who encourages, believes in and laughs with her.
  • A confident counselor – trustworthy with all that is spoken to her.
  • A guide/coach – assists in helping your daughter establish godly life skills in her relationship with God and others.

More specific things to consider in a mentor can be identified by this simple acrostic. A mentor is a woman who:  

Makes God’s Word a priority and uses Scripture to direct your daughter, not just her personal opinion.

Encourages the development of strengths and challenges your daughter to overcome weaknesses.

Nurtures through prayer and seeks God’s direction with and for your daughter.

Tactfully confronts in love when wrong thinking or actions are evident.

Obeys God and lives so that her spiritual walk with Him is evident to and confirmed by others.

Realizes transparency and authenticity are strategic tools in mentoring. By sharing her strengths and potential weaknesses, she can help your daughter make wise decisions.

It takes a choir around a soloist to really highlight her voice; in the same way, loving adults surrounding a Modern-Day Princess will make her life SING!

 

Pam Farrel is a relationship specialist, author of over 35 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti , 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make, 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, Raising a Modern Day Princess and Got Teens? She is mom to three and has been married over 30 years. Free articles, resources available: www.Love-Wise.com (Connecting Love and Wisdom!)

SEE HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED IN ‘SAVE OUR GIRLS’  INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER ON OCTOBER 17TH. VISIT http://saveourgirls.org/main.html TO FIND OUT MORE! 
COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE OR SHARE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN “BECOMING A MODERN DAY PRINCESS JOURNAL”. THE DRAWING WILL BE HELD ON THURSDAY AT 7:30 P.M.
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5 Myths About Mentors – Myth #1-Mentors Are Perfect Parents

July 19, 2012 By

Recently, I’ve talked to women who really desire to  be mentors and others who desire to have a mentor and have found that there are several factors that have prevented them from stepping into the Titus 2 model.

Today, I’m starting a 5 part series entitled 5 Myths About Mentors to help debunk any notions that might hinder women from taking the life-changing Titus 2 journey together. Today, I’m going to examine the myth that mentors are perfect people.

So, here we go…

Have you ever been intimidated by another mother because you thought she had the perfect kids, the perfect husband, the perfect home and the perfect life? Does the thought of walking through life with a mentor intimidate the bajeebers out of you because you think you couldn’t live up to her perfect parenting skills?

Or do you shy away from stepping into the call on your life to mentor other mothers because you know you’re not the perfect parent and you don’t have all the answers?

Today, we are going to look at both sides of the mentor equation and debunk the myth that mentors are perfect parents.

It’s just natural. Young moms often look to other moms as a source of wisdom and encouragement. I remember when my boys were younger, I would  see women walking in the store with their children calmly and quietly trekking with her. It was amazing! Almost magical! I couldn’t figure out how she did that and my first thought was, “I gotta get to know her so I can learn how to do that… so I can be like her and my kids can be like hers!”

When I had the opportunity to actually meet some of these ‘perfect’ moms, it didn’t take long to learn that they weren’t as perfect as I thought. No one is.

So, if you’re a mother who is mulling over the thought of mentoring a younger mother, you’re old enough to know no one is perfect. In fact, perfection doesn’t make for good mentors. A good mentor for young mothers is a mom who has learned that perfect parents don’t exist and her failures have been better schoolmasters than her successes.

Mentors often minister better from their mistakes than they do from their successes.

As a mentor, you have the opportunity to let your failures become warning signals in the lives of other mothers. A kind of, “I’ve been there and done that… and you don’t want to go there” flashing light that helps young mothers avoid the motherhood mistakes you made along the way.

Mentors and mentees alike need to remember that:

  • Mentors didn’t always put their children to bed on time.
  • Mentors didn’t always feed their children healthy meals.
  • Mentors didn’t always know what to do when their children threw a temper tantrum in the aisle between the toilet paper and the toothpaste.
  • Mentors aren’t women who never raised their voices at their kids or who never tried counting to three.
  • Mentors didn’t always have their homes in order and their laundry done.
  • Mentors didn’t have children who never wrote on walls or never flushed their socks down the toilet.
  • Mentors didn’t always have their diaper bag well-stocked with a change of clothes, lots of snack, their children’s favorite toy and an extra sippy cup.
  • Mentors didn’t solve every problem their children faced.
  • Mentors were never perfect parents. Sometimes they were a mess.
  • Mentors are women who have been there and failed… and succeeded… and failed again… and succeeded again. They are women who are willing to risk sharing their mistakes so another mom won’t make them.

Mentors aren’t perfect parents and they aren’t perfect people. 

Today, if you’re thinking about asking someone to mentor you, please don’t listen to the voices that may be whispering to your heart that you couldn’t possibly measure up to who she is. She’s just like you – only a little bit older and with a few more wounds. She just wants to be there for you when you need her.

And for those of you who are contemplating whether or not you could or even should be a mentor because you know you’re not perfect, please remember that if you were, your mentee wouldn’t have a chance! She needs you to be real, to be raw and to be relevant. She needs to know that moms don’t always get it right and that God has chosen and gifted her to be her children’s mom for a reason.

She needs to know that you aren’t perfect, that you don’t expect her to be perfect and that you are there for her whenever she needs you.

Because that’s who mentors are. Not perfect… just there.

Titus 2:4-5 says… “These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” 

Does God’s Word call mentors to by godly examples? Absolutely! Does His Word call mentors to be perfect people? Absolutely not! Just women who are willing to pour their lives into those who are raising the next generation…to be mothers on a mission to mentor other mothers. And just in case you haven’t figured it out yet… that’s what The M.O.M. Initiative is all about. And we are here to help mentors and mentees along the way.

Have you ever thought you couldn’t be a mentor because you weren’t perfect enough? Have you ever avoided seeking a mentor because you were afraid she would expect you to be as perfect as you thought she was?

By Stephanie Shott

 

 

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How to Be a Good Mentee – A Mentee’s Role

February 24, 2012 By

While many women dream of being the perfect mom who has all the right answers, never raises her voice and never has to count to three, we all know it’s not always easy being a mom. Those sweet little bundles of joy don’t come packaged with instruction manuals or warning labels and moms are often left to figure it out on their own.

But we weren’t meant to meander through motherhood alone. It’s admittedly a bit more difficult to have someone join your journey as a mom, but it certainly will give you a broader scope of reference, a well of wisdom to draw from and a hand to hold each step of the way.

Titus 2 is given to us not only as a mentor’s mantra and a mandate from God, but for our good…because no one was meant to do life alone…because the legacy of a godly heritage and the future of the next generation’s faith are fostered in those mentor/mentee relationships.

The M.O.M. Initiative exists to help support moms on both sides of the mentor equation – ultimately to help connect women and provide tools and resources to help foster those mentor/mentee relationships.

But what is the mentee’s role in the whole thing? What, exactly, does it mean to be a mentee and what does she do?

Simply put, a mentee is one who is mentored.

We realize a mentor is one who pours their life into another…one that shares wisdom, motivates, guides and encourages another to be more and better in a specific area.

But whether a mentor meets with one or more mentees at a time, we often mistakenly think the responsibility is all in the hands of the mentor. That’s SO untrue.

Think for a moment about an empty container with a lid on it tucked neatly away in the cupboard. As long as it remains hidden behind the cupboard doors and the lid remains securely fastened on top of the container, nothing else can get in.

In order for it to be filled, it must be taken out, positioned in a place where it can be filled and then the lid must be removed.

Like the container, a mentee must choose to come out from behind the four walls of her own motherhood, place herself in a position of availability and take the lid off of her heart and mind in order to be filled.

Mentoring doesn’t only happen at a desk with a book in hand. It happens in real life situations when a mentor is living out loud in front of a mentee. At times the roles are not even defined. Like a sponge, the young mother just soaks up all that the older mother pours out.

But it often begins when you sit down with a cup of coffee and walk through a book together. It’s the start of a wonderful relationship that sometimes is only for a season and other times will last a lifetime.

So, here’s the 5 mandates for a good mentee:

1. Be willing. It’s hard to mentor an unwilling heart. You can meet every week for eight weeks straight, but if you’re just there out of obligation, then you’ll circumvent the success of your time together before you ever get started. Your mentor has entered into a relationship with you because she cares about you and your little one(s). Be willing to do your best to enjoy learning what you can from one who is willing to pour her life into yours.

2. Be wholehearted. Be fully present when you’re present. Many times the mentor has spent time in prayer and prepartion for your time together. While you are together, keep your heart and mind focused on your conversation with the mentor. Put away your phone, your computer and your ‘To Do’ list long enough to keep your attention focused on your conversation with her.

3. Be respectful. Good relationships require respect. Respect your mentor’s time and effort. Respect her time by being on time when you’re scheduled to meet somewhere. When you disagree or struggle with accepting something she says, respond respectfully to her. She’s a mentor – not a perfect woman. Both of you need to give each other room to grow and room to fail. Remember, you are two very different women and you may not always see eye-to-eye. That’s okay. But be respectful when you don’t.

4. Be diligent. If you’re going through a book together or if your mentor gives you something to do during the week, be diligent to do it. Be prepared to meet her by having done that which you were supposed to do before you meet. Keep in mind that she is there for your good. She loves you and wants what is best for you.

5. Be inquisitive. Come with questions. Keep a notebook with you and as you go through your day, write down questions as you think of them. It’s impossible to remember everything when you get together, so write your questions down throughout the week. She may not have the answer, but she will probably be able to either find out for you or point you in the right direction.

Oh… and don’t forget to enjoy the journey together. When girlfriends get together, fun times are inevitable. Sweet time with your mentor is no different. It may be important to take your relationship seriously, but neither of you have to be so serious that you forget to enjoy yourselves!

It’s impossible for a mentor to pour her life into a mentee who isn’t willing. Fostering that mentor/mentee relationship requires commitment from both but your growing relationship with one another is a beautiful thing!

If you’re trying to do the mom thing without the voice of someone who has been there and done that, you are missing a significant source of help for your journey as a mom.

If you’re a young mom who longs to have a woman come along side of you and help you grow in your role as a mother, then please continue to pray for God to put just the right women in your life.

In the near future we will have a list of moms and churches that are using The M.O.M. Initiative and will hopefully be able to connect you with a someone who can help you not only find a mentor in your area, but also be there for you as you make your journey through motherhood.

And while we hope you find a mentor in your area, please know that you are not alone. The M.O.M. Initiative is here for you to help you along the way! We love you like crazy and are devoted to ministering to you in your time of need and praying for you and with you, sweet mom!

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