9 Ways to Raise a Rebellious Kid

Fact: Kids love to push the limits.  Fact: Rebellion is a human condition.  Yet there are things we do as parents that encourage the growth and intensity of a rebellious heart. Here are 9  ways to fan the flames of rebellion. Expect perfection: Performance based parenting focuses on the outside observables  rather than internal  notables. Notice outcomes but focus on developing your child’s character. Rather than only commentating on appearance or performance, “You look so beautiful” say, “Thanks for helping your sister today. You have such a kind heart.”  Punish for every infraction: Instead start saying what you want. When the child messes up, retrain. Next move to a natural consequence, …

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9 Ways to Create a Rebellious Heart in Your Child

Being an uber-controlling parent may give us the illusion that our children are towing the line, but what it actually does is create a rebellious heart in our kids. Here are 9 sure fire ways to create a rebellious heart in your kid: 9 sure fire ways to create a rebellious heart in your kid @themominitiativ @loriwildenberg Click To Tweet 1. Expect perfection: Performance based parenting focuses on the outside notables rather than internal observables. Notice outcomes but focus on developing your child’s character. Rather than only commentating on appearance or performance,”You look so beautiful” say, “Thanks for helping your …

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10 Types of Toxic People and 4 Ways to Deal with Them

Toxic relationships. I’ve had a few. Have you? It brings to mind the saying, “Hurting people, hurt people.”  I try to recall this when poisonous behaviors enter my world.  Grace, yes  I can give that.  But… how do I avoid being personally affected? To be honest–that’s a challenge. I am a people-pleaser. I don’t like conflict. I like people to like me.  The Lord has placed me in God-Pleaser Bootcamp so I can recover from my people-pleaser tenancies. (I have not yet graduated. I’ve been in training quite awhile.)   He’s teaching me to discern between personal correction and issues …

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Mom Doubt. God, What Were You Thinking?

“God what were you thinking when you gave me this kid?” “God what were you thinking when you gave me this kid?” @loriwildenberg @themominitiativ Click To Tweet Have you ever asked The Lord a question like this? I know I have. Do you doubt you’re equipped or qualified to be the mom to you kids?   I question my position when I’m: Navigating issues— issues I don’t have a good handle on.   Being exposed to interests and hobbies I am not naturally drawn to. Experiencing frustration with a personality so different from my own.  Yet, even in the midst of …

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The Cutting Truth

Cutting has become a behavior kids use because it is easily accessed, quickly achieved, and not uncommon. In fact it has become almost acceptable in the tween and teen world. The directive,“Cut it out!” is being taken literally by some kids. Cutting seems to be catchy. Lots of tween and teen girls and even some boys are doing it. What is cutting? Cutting is a self-destructive behavior where a person cuts into her skin intentionally, many times or even one time. Razors, knives, scissors, pins, and the side of a can of soda-pop are the most common weapons used to …

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My Kid is Orlando

My kid is Orlando.  My kid is Orlando. @themominitiativ @loriwildenberg Click To Tweet My young adult daughter has gone to clubs like Pulse.  One of my kids was a student at Columbine (post tragedy). We attend church, go to the movies, and school. All places that seem safe–places for fun, for education, for worship. All places where senseless heartache, terrorism, and tragedy have occurred. My daughter is a self-proclaimed lesbian. (I prefer to say she is same-sex-attracted because I don’t think people should be identified by their sexuality. I believe identity is in Christ but that is a conversation for …

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4 Developmentally Appropriate Ways to Empower Your Kids

Being a mom is filled with adjustments and seasons of letting go isn’t it? Because it is, we need to encourage and empower our kids in ways that they are developmentally ready for.  Okay most of us could agree that we desire to empower our kids to be the people God created them to be, right?   So…In order to take on this task of “raising adults” there are various parenting shifts and approaches that must take place.  4 Developmentally Appropriate Ways to Empower Your Kids @themominitiativ @loriwildenberg Click To Tweet Here are 4 developmentally appropriate ways to encourage and …

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15 Ways to Break Your Child’s Heart

Working with parents and kids I have seen the little ones (and older kids) totally deflate when mom or dad parents or interacts a particular way.  There are 15 arrows that always pierce the tender hearts of our kids. Let’s put these weapons down.  If you want to break your child’s heart and crush his spirit, do these 15 things:  Do these 15 things if you want to break your child’s heart.@themominitiativ @loriwildenberg… Click To Tweet Discipline in anger. “You are grounded for life.” Criticize rather than correct. “That’s a stupid way to solve that problem.”  Lecture rather than discuss. …

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Spills, The Best Way to Grow Grace and Humility in Kids

  Perfect moms don’t blink an eye when a child spills…the rest of us, perfectly imperfect moms, roll ours! I noticed the spillage at my home was often accompanied by another unrelated episode which would increase the liquid mess. For instance, in remarkable and unbelievable kid timing, while one child clandestinely fed the dog bacon under the table, the spiller knocked his cup. A series of unfortunate events ensued. It may look like this (You might be wondering how I know this. My lips are sealed!): The dog freaks, blasts out from under the table, runs beneath the shower of white, …

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How to Deal with Rude People

Have you ever experienced a time where at complete stranger was totally rude and offensive? I’m guessing most of us mamas have run into this.   “She looks like she’s from another world.” My four kids and I were sitting at the counter at Dunkin Donuts following one of my kiddo‘s well-checks. A sweet treat following a painful shot seemed like a good medicine. The rude observation came from the non-gentleman seated on the stool next to me. By this time, I had become accustom to the bizarre things people say. “Your kids all look like they have different dads,” a non-lady said …

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