Mother’s Day and Leukemia

May 23, 2013 By

mayer16

Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia hit the Mayer family full force on September 26th, 2012.  Daniel, the youngest of four boys and only four years old, is in the battle for his life.

Submerged under the unrelenting vice of suffering, how does a mom walk this road with her family?

Here are some answers from his sweet momma Kelly:

 How did Leukemia impact your Mother’s Day?

Leukemia really affected Mother’s Day this year but in a fairly roundabout way.  I guess “strain” is the best way to say it.  Leukemia puts a big “strain” on everything and everyone.  Relationships within our family are deeply impacted by the reality of cancer so everything is a little bit off-kilter all the time.  On a day like Mother’s Day which is “supposed to be” a light, fun time of rejoicing and celebration I think we all just felt blaaaahhhh.  Especially me.  Chad and the boys made some efforts to bless me and I made some efforts to do some things I enjoy, but overall the tone of the day was “strained”.  Bummer.

What is the best encouragement others can give your family?

I find that the very best thing that is ALWAYS a huge encouragement is when people pray.  God takes people’s prayers and answers them with so many blessings and HE always knows what we need.  He knows best how to tailor-fit our blessings for each day, so when people lift us up to His throne that is tremendously encouraging.  We also know that even though Daniel is doing well and his prognosis is good, we are fighting for his life in a world unavoidably crippled by sin and death.  That battle will only be won by prayer so my mother’s heart feels strongly supported and deeply relieved when someone tells me they are praying for us.  Thank you!

 What scripture gives you the most strength?

I  spend a ton of time in Psalms 34.  I read it at least once pretty much every day and it is incredibly powerful in my struggle for sanity and strength.  “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.  Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.”  Ps. 34:18,4,9.  This is an incredible Psalm- not just about the Lord’s tender compassion for me in my brokenness- but also about His powerful ability to rescue me when I am threatened: “The angel of the Lord” – the LORD Himself – “encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.”  Ps. 34:7   Jesus is my One Man Army – all by Himself he is encamped ALL around me and very simply put, “he delivers me” ~ because He loves me and He can!  I could go on and on for literally hours about all I have experienced of the Lord from Psalm 34 during this horrible season of life. (hummm…another post maybe?:))100_6273

 How can our readers at The Mom Initiative pray for you today?

Please, oh please pray for our family.  Our mighty God has incredible plans for our future and the enemy is trying to take it all away!  Chad, my husband, is actively studying for his Medical Board Exams on the path to becoming a doctor.  It is a very difficult stretch of his medical school journey, especially with all the intense needs at home.  The enemy is also hard after our boys.  There is a palpable spiritual battle raging in our home and it is evident in the hearts and minds of our children: strife, uncharacteristic disobedience, judgment, pride, sadness, and fear are just some of the things we are seeing in big doses as the battle rages.  And finally, please pray for our marriage!  If the enemy can destroy our marriage, he also gets: Chad’s heart, my heart, the hearts of four Christian young men and our entire ministry.  He knows that it’s a sweet package deal and evidently he wants it badly!!  Please pray that even as the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, our family will be a place where the love and grace of God are poured out and experienced in abundance.

Kelly, what encouragement do you have for others in intense suffering?

Here is what I know for sure: God is 100% completely and totally in control.  He is bigger than cancer.  He is bigger than medical school.  He is bigger than the weight of raising up and homeschooling 4 boys.  He is bigger than the crucible of marriage pain.  And I know all of this because He has already proven that He is bigger than my sin.  He is in every way, in every detail, in every crushing moment- a God I can lean on.  He is the God I can trust.  Here is a poem I hope sustains you:

Lord?

By Kelly Mayer

I’m buried under crushing weight. Oh Lord, is this your plan?

I’ve served you well and done my best but now I just can’t stand.

You’ve trusted Me before my child.  Don’t let your heart faint here! 

I’m in control and you can trust that I am always near.

But Daniel is my baby boy! The apple of my eye . . .

My world will crumble all to dust if cancer takes his life.

Hold tight My child; and don’t forget that you are My delight,

I’ll never step away when you feel drowned in darkest night..

But Lord, my heart is breaking from exhaustion, anger, fear . . .

I’m overcome by grief and pain like never once before.

Come, dear one, trust Me! All is well. Find rest here in My arms . . .

 I’ll dry your tears and hold you close, secure from all alarms.

Lord, many people love us but then some are harsh and cruel

I’ve trusted them and been betrayed.  I feel like such a fool!

This happens yes, I know your pain for they abused Me too.

Just lift your eyes to Me and I will fill you with the truth.

Now let your questions fade away, just wait here and be still.

There’s never any danger in the middle of My will.

My plan is for your good not harm; the end will make you smile.

So lay your head upon My chest and rest your heart awhile.

My Jesus I do trust you but I’m weary, weak and dry.

I’m broken up and torn inside; sometimes I want to die.

Not yet, My Love I’m still not done refining your sweet heart.

I’ll mend you child and through these trials, make you a Work of Art.

 Stop by and let Kelly, Daniel and family know you are praying- post a word of encouragement on their Facebook page today!

Are you walking the road of intense suffering? Leave a comment and allow us to pray for you.

Visit Tara on her blog or Facebook page.

IF YOU LIKE THIS POST, OR IF IT HAS ENCOURAGED YOU, PLEASE SHARE

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How a Wiggles Movie Changed My Life

May 21, 2013 By

DVDs“Please, Mom? Pleeeease?”

My daughter pleaded as she climbed into her car seat. Since buying our first minivan, I’d come to appreciate all its amenities but one—the built-in DVD player. That thing was a source of constant battle. Every time we boarded the van, my children asked to watch a movie. And every time I replied, no. Because good parents don’t let their children watch television in the car.

My Perfect Parent Handbook has lots of rules like that.

Good parents don’t buy sugary cereal.

Good parents don’t let their children wear pajamas to the playground.

Good parents have a system for rotating toys.

Good parents tame cowlicks before Sunday school.

Sometimes, though, I get tired. Sometimes whining erodes my resistance. Sometimes I just want to see my daughters’ faces light up. So I rebel and do crazy things like toss a box of Cocoa Puffs in my shopping cart. But then guilt buzzes in both ears—good parents don’t do that.

You must be a bad mom.

Isn’t it sad? I’ve become a slave to my own rules.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery,” (Galatians 5:1).

When I found the Lord a decade ago, I embraced the simplicity of his gospel. God’s favor cannot be earned; it is freely given. Grace takes charge, so that the Christian life is not so much a series of do’s and don’ts, but rather a gift to unwrap and enjoy.

Parenting falls under the umbrella of the Christian life, right? Why, then, do I build superfluous rules around it, as though motherhood is exempt from God’s grace?

Wow. If any part of me is in most desperate need of grace, it’s my parenting skills.

“Mom, why can’t we watch a movie? Just this one time, please?” My daughter’s begging persisted and wore me down. It had been a long week. My husband was out of town, and our girls were full of energy I couldn’t match. I just needed a little break.

What the heck.

I flipped on the DVD player and let the video roll. Greg, Anthony, Murray and Jeff waved hello to my girls from the 10-inch suspended screen—yes, a Wiggles movie, Santa’s Rockin’, no less—on a sunny spring day! Imagine what my Perfect Parent Handbook says about that.

But then something amazing happened. My daughters settled into their cushions, tranquil. Whining and bickering ceased. There was no tension. Just smiles. Giggles. And singing. “This little baby is born again, been reborn in the hearts of men. Every Christmas, this child is born again. . . .”

My guilt was silent.

Unfamiliar peace washed over me.

God’s grace filled the van.

That day, I discovered my rules don’t make me a good parent. Perhaps, knowing when to bend them does. As I wheeled into our destination parking lot and my daughters hopped out of their seats happier than they’d been all morning, God spoke to my heart.

I never called you a bad mom.

Funny. Only the Lord could use a Wiggles video to teach me something lasting. Tomorrow, I just might take my girls on a picnic to the playground—in their pajamas, with Cocoa Puffs.

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You are the Masterpiece

April 28, 2013 By

4195+ajuQ3L._AA160_Morning mamas. This Sunday is our last session of chatting about No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage. Check out her video before we move on to the chatter:  http://youtu.be/RVnS3Um_o3w

By now we’ve discovered unrealistic expectations sets us up for stress, feelings of frustration, failure and not being able to enjoy our children. What freedom we have in knowing that God is perfect and we are his masterpieces. Did you know each frustration and joyous moment you encounter, God is molding you into the image of Jesus? What would happen if we let our REAL selves be what other moms saw? This includes our real kitchens, messes and our thoughts? How could God reflect his glory through that?

I’ll be honest, I recently went through some very rough circumstances in which I had high expectations of myself. I didn’t rely on my team and I wasn’t open about what I was struggling with. Ultimately it was my downfall. While I was left to pick up the pieces, I put them in God’s lap—asking him to fix it.

Even though I’m barely on the other side of this moment, I already see how God is redeeming this mistake of trying to attain perfection. He’s placed women in my life to pray for me, to be real with me, to help me learn to accept myself as I am. He’s taught me that flawed is best. Flawed means he can work through my imperfections.

So, now that I’ve shared a few of my imperfections, where can you let go? Are you willing to put the pieces of your life into his lap and let him create the masterpiece?

Dig Deep

1) Which of these perfect traits of God are you most familiar with: love,

strength, identity, hope, truth, or redemption?

2) Which of these perfect traits of God are you least familiar with: love, strength, identity, hope,

truth, or redemption?

3) Share your story with the group by answering these questions:

a. Where did you grow up?

b. Do you have siblings? Older or younger?

c. If you’re married, how did you meet your husband?

d. How has God been a part of your life?

4) What is one thing you highlighted/noted as you read this chapter? Why did it strike you as

important?

 

Apply (choose one or all)

Look through Appendix A and identify one or more truths that you want to memorize about your identity in Christ. Write those verses on your phone or an index card you can carry with you. Read them everyday aloud every day this week. Ask God to impress them on your heart.

Look through Appendix B and find a verse that addresses what you are feeling right now. Write that verse on an index card or somewhere where you can see it this week. If you said “yes” to God for the very first time while you were reading this chapter, email Jill and let her know. You can email her at jillannsavage@yahoo.com.

Pray

Father God, there is nothing that you cannot handle in our imperfect lives. You are love, strength, hope, and truth. This world does not define us. You define us. You can take the broken parts of our lives and redeem them for your purposes. Help us to live in your grace and love and to extend your grace and love to those around us. May we stop striving for perfection, but rather allow you to refine us to become more like you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Heightened Awareness: Living Life in the Midst of the Unknown

April 19, 2013 By

Heightened Awareness Graphic 4-2013

© Angela Farley | Dreamstime Stock Photos RF-LL

Most of my life is lived in a constant state of heightened awareness. At any given moment I am painfully aware that I could have to drop everything and be in the middle of a medical crisis. Truth be told, that is pretty much true for any of us, especially moms.

Our kids are in a state of constant movement and yes, at any given time, they could get hurt. For me, it is the same, except that I have also experienced this medical crisis too many times.

In 2005 my oldest son woke up that morning for school and he just didn’t seem “right?”. I thought he might have been having a stomach ache, or maybe it could have been from the fall he had the night before from running in the house with his socks on, either way I was not prepared for how dramatically life would change in that one instant.

He went from just not “right” to full blown grand mal seizures and continued seizing for forty five minutes. He was eleven years old at the time and in the middle of that my then nine year old walked in and witnessed every single minute of it. The ambulance came and next thing I knew my boy was on a helicopter headed to the children’s hospital…without me.

We had no idea what was going on or that from that moment on our lives would be in a constant state of heightened awareness. He spent fifty one days in the PICU of the children’s hospital and after several procedures, infections, complications, and more he walked out of the hospital with a new side effect of the trauma his body went through, he would be forever insulin dependent and was now diabetic. We had the best doctors, training and more and had walked the road of juvenile diabetes for almost four years when he started having seizures again.

Just when things started to fall into a new normal the walls of our lives were rattled and here we were in a new state of heightened awareness.

Never knowing what was going on in his world, every phone call, text, or communication with our son started with “are you ok?” and then we could process whatever he was talking about and move on.

Years of doctors appointments, tests, blood work, referrals and more added to the stress, anxiety and worry. Living in this constant state of awareness and always being ready to jump into action is exhausting–not just mentally, but physically and emotionally as well.

We are eight years on this journey now and we have learned a lot of lessons through this, but something keeps banging up against my heart whenever I start to feel the anxiousness of the heightened awareness and that is this — what if we were to “shift” (my one word for 2013) our thoughts and awareness from the issue and put it squarely where it belongs…on God.

Moving the focus from the stuff going on in our lives (and let’s face it, we all have stuff) and resting it on the only One that can do anything about it. To have His peace, comfort and rest would be a blessed reprieve for most of us right now.

Hang with me here, if we lived in a state of heightened awareness of God, then imagine with me how you might feel emotionally? physically? emotionally?

For I am always aware of your unfailing love,

   and I have lived according to your truth.

Psalm 26:3 NLT

Sweet friends, I know it isn’t always easy to make that shift, believe me, it is still something that I wrestle with almost daily, but this I know — He is in control (Hebrews 2:8). He has a perfect plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11), for your family and He wants nothing more than to shower you with His love (Romans 5:5).

What does living in a state of heightened awareness of God look like?

It can be anything as simple as;

  1. starting your day with a “Good Morning God”,

  2. to stopping in the middle of a busy day to say “thank you” for the sunshine, the children in your life, or for any of the blessings you’ve been given that day.

  3. or even listening to worship music and being fully present in that moment to enjoy it.

I don’t know what it looks like for you, but I do know this, the peace from shifting my heightened awareness from the health issues to God and who He is, has brought me so much more comfort in living life in the midst of the unknown.

Yes, like any mama bear that has a child (well, he’s an adult now, but he’s still my boy) with health issues I am painfully aware that things can change in an instant, but I have peace that no matter what happens my God will carry me through and that is more than enough for me right this very moment.

What about you?

When living in the state of heightened awareness which are you looking for that peace and comfort in the most — physically, mentally or emotionally?

How would living in your day to day world change if you made that shift and were in a state of heightened awareness to the presence of God?

I look forward to hearing from you…

Seeking JOY on the Journey,

Melissa Mashburn

www.MelissaMashburn.net

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Did She Just Say That?

April 18, 2013 By

“Satisfy us with your faithful love every morning. Then we can sing with joy and be glad all of our days.” Psalm 90:14 (NIV)

When my daughter made a statement one day that didn’t line up to God’s truth, I knew the day had come  where  outside influences were pressing on her heart and mind and she didn’t know what was true to combat what was false. Instead she was operating on what others were telling her.

This generation (those born between 1982 and 2002) has been called the Mosaic generation. Taking bits and pieces from friends, media and their own opinions, they create their own religion of sorts. As a mom, this terrifies me. I see firsthand through my own children that an hour-long sermon once a week is not enough to fight hours of media and social networking.

We have to do something. We have to make time at home to instill God’s Word in our kid’s hearts.

But when? If you are like me, life is busy! A look at our family’s schedule made it appear impossible. If I was going to teach my children God’s Word, it meant something had to change.

David’s prayer in Psalm 90:14 gave me the change we needed. “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” I recognized the morning as one of the rare open spaces in our schedules and that’s when we could make a change.

I made the announcement we would begin to eat breakfast together so we could read the Bible. To be honest, that didn’t go over well with my kids! Their most used rebuttal was, “I don’t want to get up earlier!” But with a little compromise here and a tweaking of the alarm clock there, we found a small window to sit down together to read.

David’s prayer to fill the love gap in his heart first thing in the morning became my family’s model. Pouring small amounts of truth into my girls before they hit their school is our priority.

Am I fitting in a chapter of the Bible? No. But speaking a small portion of God’s unfailing love helps prepare them for the trials and temptations they are sure to face each day.

My girls can’t quote large portions of Scripture, but I’ve heard them tell a friend that only Jesus can make them feel important. And only He can fill the emptiness. Little by little truth is sinking in; their lives are reflecting change. It’s sinking into my heart too!

You too can teach a young person in your life God’s Word. It’s doesn’t take half an hour a day. You don’t need to know the Bible inside and out. You just need a few minutes.

Here are a few ideas that might work for your families’ schedule:

 

  • Have one of your children read out loud on the way to school.
  • Try right before going to bed.
  • Text a verse to their cell phone.

 

The time of the day isn’t important. What is important is finding time and making it a priority.

Free Resources:

Sign up for Lynn’s free Back-In-School Build Up at www.LynnCowell.com . These 7 days of devotions written specifically for teen girls and their moms empower girls with confidence from the love of Jesus.

Lynn’s newest book, Devotions for a Revolutionary Year- 365 Days of Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You is a great resource for investing wisdom into your kids, which leads to them making wise choices!

© 2013 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.

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The Suffocating Wake of Porn

April 16, 2013 By

The day my husband’s struggle with porn came to light, a new, unwanted battle ID-1004417-1twisted to life inside me.

The wicked pictures that once held my husband hostage now try to shove me under their suffocating wake.
Each moment of the day painful reminders of my husband’s unfaithfulness surface through:

  • Billboards along the roads flaunting airbrushed bodies causing my heart and stomach to sink.
  • Living room- turned harsh environment- as I tensely wait for the next perfect body flashed at just the right angle (over and over) on our family TV making my skin crawl.
  • Church services… I learned years ago to dread Easter Sunday. The live bodies with skin-tight dresses, not enough fabric, sitting all around my husband and teenage son make worship difficult at best.
  • Newspaper ads…the list goes on and on….

Faster than my eyes capture these forms, my mind goes to where it should not.

Thoughts flood my mind comparing myself to the pictures, then I imagine my husband’s lustful thoughts…then remember his actions… Bitterness, hate and fear towards my repentant husband, who is now whole-heartedly following the Lord, overtake my mind…then come out in my ugly, nasty, hate-filled responses.

This is no longer my husband’s sin issue attacking our marriage, but mine.

Each of my condemning thoughts hand the devil a new, powerful opportunity to overthrow the hard-won healing of our marriage.

So now what?

  • First, I go to God’s word daily to seek His help and realize this is a spiritual battle within me:

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-4

“Come to your senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:26

  • Second, I realize this is my own personal sin issue. I choose to embrace negative thoughts instead of destroying them:

I need to, “destroy speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and  take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:5

  • Lastly, I resolve (stick-in-my-heels determination) to make all my thoughts obedient to Christ through Philippians 4:8

What ever is true about my husband, whatever is honorable about my husband, whatever is right about my husband, whatever is pure about my husband, whatever is lovely about my husband, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (It might be a short list of things at first, but dwell on them!)

“Act resolutely (with firmness and determination), and the Lord will be with the upright.” 2 Cronicles 19:11b

What supernaturally flows out of obedience to these verses?

“The peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

And this Peace enables me to walk along side my husband and encourage him to become all God desires him to be.  My obedience to Christ empowers my husband to heal. (OH Yeah! This is where we see the fruit of our obedience!)

Is this journey we are on together easy?    No.


But, have I experienced God’s faithfulness to, “do far more abundantly beyond all that I ask or think,” due to diligent (stick-in-those-heels!) obedience to His word?    Yes!

Lord, there is no one besides You to help me in this battle. I have no strength; so help me, O ID-10030508Lord my God, for I trust in You, and in Your name have come against this overwhelming situation. O Lord, You are my God; let not anything prevail against you. -2 Chron 14:11.

Sweet mom, I know how hard this battle is, along with the everyday stresses of mommyhood.  We are here to pray with you and for you.  Tell us, how is your battle today?

Come to my page on Facebook or blog to visit!

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I’m not a homeschooling, lipstick wearing, organic mama (no more perfect moms)

April 7, 2013 By

imagesYou have to take a moment to stop and watch the video for this week’s devotional, its FABULOUS. I don’t think I’ve been more understood than when I watched the video and realized we as moms wear SO many hats.

 Click on link here: http://youtu.be/2YllS4JwLi0

As a mom, understanding how YOU function, what your preferences are and what your expectations are helps you discover your best Mommy M.O.

How often have you had a set of expectations about your day, only to fall flat on your face within the first hour of waking? I’ve been there. I’ve done that and I’ve learned to let go. Its HARD, believe me. In my earlier years of motherhood, I wanted to do everything for my kids.

My plan was to: Awaken early, have my hair done, lipstick on, devotions completed while organic pancakes cooked on the griddle. Then my sweet kids would arise, kiss me and be so thankful for their mama before moving on to home school lessons for the day. We would laugh, grow close and learn.

REALITY CHECK: I do manage to get my Jesus time in, but I’m wearing workout gear rushing kids to middle school, pre-school and kindergarten. I still love my children and we are still learning the mom/child dance of life. It may be a far cry from my expectations but I’ve found the freedom to be ME which means, my kids are happier and more content.

Sometimes we have to let go of these far fetched expecations, toss a few hats (a.k.a. roles, obligations) to cultivate the mama God created you to be. Its so hard to let lost in the shoulds, oughts, and wants. :-)

Dig Deep

1) Which best describes you:
a. A type-A get-it-done-mom who likes her ducks in a row?
b. A creative, spontaneous who enjoys flexibility?
2) How flexible are you? Can you “roll with the punches” or do you more often find yourself
frustrated when plans change?
3) Would you label yourself as a “distracted mom?” Why or why not?
4) Do you have enough margin in your life to have the pace and space to allow real life to happen?
5) What is one thing you highlighted/noted as you read this chapter? Why did it strike you as
important?

Apply (choose one or all)

1) Can you share a time when you “expected the unexpected?” Brainstorm some practical ways
you can prepare for the unexpected?
2) Choose one of the “margin minders” on pages 136-138 that you need to implement in order to
keep “white space” in your life.
3) Select one antidote on pages 140-143 you will apply this week. Brainstorm some practical ways
you can apply the antidote this week in order to embrace your imperfect days.

Pray

Father God, help us to see that motherhood is the “ministry of interruption.” Show us how to recognize
the opportunities to love on whoever is standing in front of us. Help us to let go of control and to trust
you more each day. Help us to embrace “what is” and let go of “what is not.” May we find joy in both the
planned and unplanned moments of life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Who’s Got Your Back? (No More Perfect Moms)

March 30, 2013 By

Written by Heather Riggleman, Author of Mama Needs a Time Out

Don’t forget to watch the video first! If you haven’t read the book, it will give you info about the chapter on friendships.  http://youtu.be/d2EpSpYEFmU

imagesEven in the world of Christians, friendship can sometimes be a daunting idea. Growing up, I never really stayed in any one town long enough to develop friendships and by the time I got high school, I was a combination of painfully shy and tough girl. In other words, according to Jill, I was and often still am a “Here I am” girl, meaning, “Here I am, come talk to me, come ask me about me and help me feel comfortable.” Instead of being a “There you are,” girl meaning “There you are, I’d like to talk to you, you look interesting.”

It was hard to make friends because these reasons. What about you? What paints your personality?

Very recently, I went through a painful experience in which I learned very quickly the women whom I thought to be friends–were not. Regardless of experiences like this, we cannot become an island and do this “motherhood” thing by ourselves. By our very nature as women–we NEED relationships. Because of the recent events in my life, I’ve had to take a risk to be vulnerable by reaching out to other women and being a “There  you are,” girl. Wow that was tough. 

But it opened the door to new relationships, new beginnings and the funny part is it brought me closer to God. :-) How are your relationships? Is it tough to navigate the friendship thing? Let’s Dig Deep and chat about it. 

Dig Deep

1) Are you more often a “Here I Am” or “There You Are” person? Why?
2) Have you ever had friendship disappointments or “mean girl” experiences?
3) Can you identify the women in your mothering community? Who comprises your community?
If not, how can you build your mothering community? Is a moms group an option for you?
4) How is your friendship bank? Do you need to make some investments?
5) What is one thing you highlighted/noted as you read this chapter? Why did it strike you as
important?

Apply (choose one or all)

1) Identify one Antidote practical strategy shared on pages 115-120 that you will put into practice
this week.
2) Send a card or a note to a friend. Express your appreciation for the friendship and share words
of encouragement with her.
3) Set up a coffee date with a friend you haven’t spent time with in a while.

Pray 

Lord, we know that you have not designed us to do life alone. You’ve created us for community. Show us
how to fit friendship into mothering. Help us to each find our mothering community. If there are issues in
our heart that keep friends at arm’s length, bring healing to our hearts. More than anything, help us to
see you as a Friend who Understands. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Fed Up with Flat Faith GIVEAWAY & Monday M.O.M. Link Up

March 25, 2013 By

Fed-Up-with-Flat-Faith-1

Happy Monday, sweet moms! Steph here!

I’m excited to announce the winner of yesterday’s giveaway of Suzie Eller’s book, The Unburdened Heart! The winner is….Tammy Bruce! Congratulations TAMMY! :-)

Today we have another great GIVEAWAY! That’s right….it’s is not only the Monday M.O.M. Link Up but my dear friend, Kathy Howard has offered to give away a copy of her new book, Fed Up with Flat Faith.

It’s a definite MUST READ for Christians who have struggled with having a flat faith and longing for a fervent faith…the kind of faith that moves mountains and stands against all odds.

The kind of faith moms need to raise their kids in a culture that counters everything their mommas are trying to instill in their hearts.

Faith. Not flat faith. But fervent faith.

So take a minute and read Jan’s story and comment for a chance TO WIN A COPY of Fed Up with Flat Faith!

GATHERING TINDER FOR A FAITH FIRE

Jan is an average gal with an above average passion for Jesus. When she talks about Him, her eyes widen, her voice fills with excitement, and sometimes she even has trouble standing still. God has gifted Jan with a beautiful voice she uses to serve Him. When she lifts it in praise, her love for Him is obvious. In those moments, Jan’s worship fuels worship in the hearts of many around her. Others long to have the passion for Jesus they see in Jan but it eludes them. And a few simply watch and listen, seemingly unmoved.

How would Jan’s worship affect you? Would your ready heart quickly warm in worship? Would you struggle to find passion for the One who made you? Or would you be like the few—resigned to settle for a dry, listless, boring faith?

When the topic of Jesus comes up around my friend Jan, she either beams with excitement or cries tears of joy and gratitude. What about you? How do you react when you hear the name “Jesus?” Perhaps a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth and your heart warms within your chest. “Jesus.” Or maybe you feel apathetic or detached. “Jesus.”

Is Your Faith Flat and Dry?

If you’re faith is a bit on the flat side, you’re not alone. Many Christians struggle with spiritual dryness. I struggled for two decades. But I didn’t have to settle and neither do you. Although even the most passionate Christian occasionally feels cold, that does not have to be the default setting in your relationship with Jesus. God can replace cool distance with warm intimacy and set your dry faith on fire!

The first step in starting any fire is to gather tinder. Touched by even a slight spark, these small pieces of wood, leaves, or straw catch fire quickly, providing the flame needed to light the kindling and in turn the larger wood. A roaring fire begins with the small tinder.

Recalling experiences with God can act as “tinder” for His spiritual fire. Tinder experiences include times we felt God’s presence, saw Him work in our own lives or the lives of others, and those moments when our hearts were overwhelmed with awe and worship for our Creator.

As we recall these experiences we are gathering tinder that God can ignite. The more experiences we gather, the more we will desire to experience. As our craving for God increases, we will recognize more of His activity. As we recognize more of His activity, these experiences continue to build our passion and increase our craving still more. It’s a glorious, faith-building cycle.

You may feel as though you don’t even have any tinder to gather. Perhaps you rarely, if ever, sense God’s presence or see His activity. Be encouraged, if you are a child of God, He is with you. In the midst of my flat faith years, I did not feel the presence of God or see His activity around me. But today, as I look back on those same years, I can see God’s hand.

According to Scripture, whether we see it or not, God is always working. Sometimes, we just need a little help to notice the kind of work God alone can do. Together, let’s think through some ways God has possibly been active in and around your life.

Gather Tinder for a Spark

Prayerfully consider the prompts listed below. Take your time as you move through the list. In encourage you to write down the specific instances in your life that God brings to mind. With each “God encounter” you remember also record how you felt, how you responded (or should have responded), and what this instance teaches you about God and His ways. Recall times when:

• God strengthened or comforted you in a time of difficulty

• God provided for you in a time of material need

• God convicted you of sin to bring you to repentance and restore your relationship

• God allowed you to see Him working around you in circumstances or people’s lives

• God overwhelmed you with the beauty and majesty of His creation

• God whispered guidance to your heart and mind

• God helped you understand and apply His Word

• God gave you a real and immediate sense of His presence

• Any other experience with God that He brings to your mind now

Please don’t worry if your list is short right now. Continued reflection and a prayerful attitude before God can help you reclaim divine encounters you thought were lost. Today is just the beginning.

Continue to purposefully watch for God’s activity. Keep your eyes open to His work around you and seek to be aware of His presence with you. Start a journal to record these things and reread it regularly. Keep adding tinder to your faith fire anticipating God’s fiery touch!

This article is adapted from “Fed Up with Flat Faith: 10Attitudes and Actions to Pump Up Your Faith” by Kathy Howard. You can find out more about Kathy and her books, speaking, and ministry at www.kathyhoward.org  You can find out more about “Fed Up with Flat Faith” at www.kathyhoward.org/fed-up-with-flat-faith/ or purchase it on Amazon in print or Kindle format. 

 

Kathy-Howard-Pics-0062-150x150Kathy Howard calls herself a “confused southerner.” Raised in Louisiana, she has moved with her engineer husband around the U.S. and Canada. She says “pop” instead of “Coke” and “you guys” as often as “ya’ll.” But those things are just superficial – she’s still a southern girl at heart!

Kathy helps women live an unshakeable faith through her Bible teaching and writing. She encourages them to stand firm on our rock-solid God no matter the circumstances of life. Kathy has been teaching the Bible for over 20 years to a varied audience – everyone from middle school students to teen moms to church leaders. She has a Masters in Christian Education from the Canadian Southern Baptist Seminary. Kathy served on a church staff in Midland, Texas for the last five years until her family’s recent move to the Houston area.

Kathy and her husband have three children, two son-in-laws, and one precious grandbaby. When the family gets together there are also four dogs in the mix. Kathy writes to have something to do while she drinks coffee and eats chocolate. Find out about her books and speaking ministry and get discipleship tools and leader helps at her website: www.kathyhoward.org.



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Don’t Lie to Me

March 20, 2013 By

Close up of baby's foot in mother's hand“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ,” (Galatians 6:2).

I want to chat with the new moms out there. Seasoned moms, pull up a chair, because we’re all in this together. Are you comfy? Let’s talk.

Motherhood isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be. Caring for children is a physically grueling, emotionally draining, and spiritually challenging round-the-clock job. I don’t know who might’ve told you otherwise, or how many women withheld this bit of information when they gushed over your adorable baby shower gifts, but I’m here to set the record straight. Babies are hard work. So are toddlers. I’ve heard teenagers are extra special, so let’s hold onto Jesus for the ride.

But there’s something else you should know.

You are not alone.

If you cried in the glider rocker at 2 a.m. because you are just so unbelievably tired and the whole world seems flipped on its side—somebody else cried, too.

If you spent two hours after dinner bouncing and shush-shush-shushing a fussy swaddled bundle because the books said it would calm him and please Lord you just need the noise to stop—somebody else shushed, too.

If you’re staring at piles of laundry and blank thank-you notes, fighting the guilt of unfinished tasks and wondering how other women have done this without collapsing—somebody else wonders, too.

If you miss the smell of your husband’s chest and his unhurried gaze into your eyes across the dinner table, and you ask God, what have we done? Somebody else asked, too.

Somebody else, some other woman somewhere in the world—quite possibly in your very own neighborhood—is learning to be a mom, also. And after she conquers colic then teething then first birthday party planning, she graduates to a club of moms who’ve been there and know exactly how you feel today.

Maybe not every new mom struggles the same. If your baby hardly cries or snoozed through the night the first week home, or if you have no problem spinning cartwheels on two hours of sleep and every moment of caring for your newborn is filled with pure joy, then count your blessings and praise the Lord. Sincerely.

But I am convinced those women are in the minority. There are a lot more of us deer-in-the-headlights frazzled new mommies who do not have it all together and, sadly, assume everybody else does because women are not talking about it.

It’s time we start being real with one another. Amen?

Recently, I ran into a new mom at church. She glowed, snuggling a lovely bambino on her shoulder for other ladies like me to admire with instinctive awww’s and smoochie sounds. I asked her a question I ask many new moms.

“How is it going?”

“Great! It’s going well. We’re doing great, yep.”

Is that so. I leaned closer. “How is it really going?”

“Well, this week is good.”

Pause.

“Last week, not so much.”

Her eyes grew wide, and she wilted. “Nobody warned me it would be like this. How do women have more than one!?”

Sister, I get you. I see you looking all calm and happy for the shiny people at church, but I also know you were probably juggling a mascara wand, a lanolin tube and a screaming baby in your hands three minutes before you were due out the door to make it to the first service on time. You are beautiful, and so is your miracle child from God, yet I would not be shocked if you told me you didn’t feel beautiful because you can’t fit into anything besides your husband’s jogging pants, and your curling iron disappeared under a stack of nursing pads and used burp rags.

Keep hanging on.

It’s okay to feel like you’re falling apart. Because, in many ways, you are. Life will never be the same again. But eventually—sooner than you fear—it will be better than before.

TeaMy girls are 6 and 3. Right now, one is rinsing paintbrushes in a kindergarten classroom across town while the other naps like clockwork at home. And I get to sit here with my laptop and a warm cup of tea, compelled to write these thoughts for you dear new mommies. Because I’m afraid I’ll forget.

Because now my darling girls can strap their own shoes, and pour their own cereal, and play quietly with their dolls while I fix a salad. And I start thinking, hey, this isn’t so tough, this is fun, life is grand, and then I make googly eyes at my husband and whisper should we have another baby? And the answer is NO! NO! Don’t you REMEMBER?

Yes. I remember the hard stuff. But I also remember this:

I remember sitting mesmerized by the perfect, miniature face sleeping in the crook of my elbow, and weeping suddenly when I imagined her growing up and moving to college.

I remember detecting that first authentic, non-gassy smile—a paycheck for eight weeks of unrequited, laborious love—and cheering like we’d just won the lottery.

I remember the hormonal fog lifting, my strength returning after months of little sleep, and seeing God standing before me—where he’d been all along.

You are not alone.

The day our first daughter was born, every nurse, every lactation consultant, even the cleaning lady at the hospital told us, “Enjoy every minute! It goes so fast!”

For you, new ones, the days are not fast. They are long. And while the rewards eventually outweigh every challenge, I don’t want to forget how it felt in the beginning, if forgetting means I will not be able to relate anymore. Or worse, if my forgetting makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

You are not doing it wrong. You’re a mom. Welcome.

So—I’m asking a favor. You new moms can help me—and generations of moms to come—prevent the onset of mommy amnesia. Simply remind us what it’s like. Be vulnerable. Shed the “fine, I’m doing fine” mask and spill your exhausted guts. We’re your allies. We can take it. Then let us hug you, counsel you, validate you, encourage you. Let us carry the burden for a little while.

And someday soon, when your baby starts pouring her own cereal, I hope you’ll reach out to the new moms in your life and pay it forward.

Okay, then. If I see you with a newborn baby in your arms and I ask, how’s it going?—tell me anything good, bad, or ugly. But please, please, please—don’t lie to me. Your honesty can spark a revival of moms supporting moms.

We need each other. Are you in?

We’re Linked up at:
This Really Got Me Link-up at Rethinking My Thinking

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