Lead Your Family Like Jesus + Monday M.O.M. Link-Up

May 5, 2013 By

by Tricia Goyer

Three Ways You Are A Leader in Everyday Life … and how to be a better one

Family_In_FieldMany people are confused about the term “family leader.” As I’ve blogged about moms being leaders I’ve had both men and women pipe up, “But wait, the man’s supposed to be the leader in the home, right?” Yes, but women are leaders, too, in many ways you may not realize. 

1. You are a Leader in Your Role As Spouse.

Yes, friends, I believe in the “S” word … submission. I believe God has called men to be the spiritual head of the home, and the one to care for and provide for his wife and family and lead the family unit. I believe wives come under their headship in willing submission … yet women are leaders too.

Any time you strive to guide the thoughts, behavior or direction of another person we are a leader! Or as John Quincy Adams said, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

Go ahead, read that again. Mom, you are a leader! Wife, you are a leader! Your thoughts and attitudes guide your closest relationships. Family leadership can be as intimate as offering words of guidance and encouragement to a discouraged loved one, or it can be as directive as issuing specific instructions on how to drive the family car.

2. You are a Leader in Your Community.

A man or a woman’s position as a family leader also extends beyond the four walls of the home. Just think of your roles at your work, at your child’s school, and in your neighborhood. Influence can also be exhibited in your roles as church volunteers and community leaders. These are important roles in our every day life, especially since many couples today are often not well-connected with siblings and parents.

Many families are spread out, living far from extended family members. This causes many couples to create their own “family units” with like-minded friends. These are the people they vacation with and spend free time with. Seeking God in roles is important because it’s then couples realize they can be a positive influence in their church and community outside of their own home.

3. You are a Leader in Your Extended Family.

Sometimes this is the hardest place to be a leader. We can’t choose our relatives, and sometimes the relationships with parents, siblings, aunts, uncle and cousins can be the hardest. Often people are put into “roles” within their family. Yet in your actions and reactions you are showing leadership—whether you like it or not.

In each of these areas … you make an impact!

As a leader you …

  • Build enduring relationships within the home that can have far-reaching impact beyond the home • Set the basic direction of life values, character development and relational behavior
  • Involve seasons of personal sacrifice to promote the spiritual and physical well-being of others
  • Sustain love, loyalty, trust, mercy, forbearance, forgiveness, and sacrifice
  • Mature and grow
  • Foster values of love, compassion, trust, commitment, honesty, and grace within its members.

Think your role as a leader doesn’t matter? Think again. The #1 way you can be a better leader in each of these areas is to pray.

Today take a few minutes to pray for your role as a leader.

  • Pray for your leadership in your family.
  • Pray for your leadership in your church.
  • Pray for your leadership in your neighborhood.
  • Pray for your leadership at work and school.
  • Pray that God will show you how to lead.
  • Pray you will submit to His leadership in your life.

The impact we can have in the lives of people around us can’t be underestimated … and only prayer prepares us for the work ahead!

 

Your Turn!

How is Jesus your role model as a leader in your marriage, community, and extended family?

 

Lead Your Family Like Jesus

Lead-Your-Familysm-e1360603289982Does your family need a five-star general at the helm? A psychologist? A referee?

Ken Blanchard, best-selling co-author of The One Minute Manager and Lead Like Jesus, points to a better role model: the Son of God. Joined by veteran parents and authors Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer, renowned business mentor Blanchard shows how every family member benefits when parents take the reins as servant-leaders.

Moms and dads will see themselves in a whole new light—as life-changers who get their example, strength, and joy from following Jesus at home. This user-friendly book’s practical principles and personal stories mark the path to a truly Christ-centered family, where integrity, love, grace, self-sacrifice, and forgiveness make all the difference.

The M.O.M. Initiative is giving away a copy of Lead Your Family Like Jesus! Enter via the Rafflecopter below:

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Now it’s time to LINK UP & join the fun, meet new friends & make your message more available to others!

 

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Filed Under: Books & DVDs, Featured Guests, Growth & Development, Relationships, TMI Link Up, Tricia Goyer 5 Comments

RENEWED: An Interview with Lucille Zimmerman + Monday M.O.M. Link-Up!

April 7, 2013 By

BookCover-1

Overwhelmed.

I’ve been speaking to women’s groups for more than two decades. And while fashions and American Idols and fad diets have changed over the years, this one thing has remained constant:

When I ask women what they struggle with, day in and day out, their #1 answer is “I feel so overwhelmed!”

So I fell in love with Lucille Zimmerman’s new book the moment I laid eyes on the cover.

Renewed.

Ahhhh…what an invitation!

I spent two weeks enjoying Lucille’s stories, Biblical insights, and practical wisdom as I savored (and stuck Post-It Notes all over!) a chapter a day.

Renewed now resides on the “grab often” bookshelf near my writing desk, as I know I’ll be quoting from and highly recommending it daily.

So I’m thrilled to welcome Lucille to The M.O.M. Initiative today!

Cheri: In Chapter 7, “Renewed Through Appreciating Beauty,” you advise “Don’t multitask–enjoy the one thing you are doing now.” How can we teach the value of focus to our children who seem to thrive on multitasking?

Lucille: I think a good way to do that is to take a mommy time-out. Mommy can turn off the phone, get off the computer, and take some quiet time to read or whatever it is that helps her relax. At the same time she can put the child in a quiet space with his or her own books.

Cheri: I’ve re-read Chapter 11, “Renewed Through Creating a Place for Grief”, several times and shared it with my college-aged daughter, as our family has experienced numerous losses recently. I’ve never learned to grieve, so I’ve felt helpless and inadequate watching her struggle. How can mothers help their children learn healthy ways of grieving?

Lucille: I’m so sorry you are both experiencing so many losses.

It seems common in America to hide or bury grief. If people grieve they do it behind closed doors. Many people are ashamed to shed a tear in public.

This creates an environment where people don’t know how to grieve. But while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, we know that burying grief does not work. Grief waits. There’s a wonderful book, for children or adults, that helps normalize the grief process, and gives readers encouragement. It’s called Tear Soup. Here’s a short video clip about the book:

(Can’t view embedded video? Click on this link to view Tear Soup directly in YouTube!)

Cheri: In Chapter 14, “Renewed Through Generosity and Gratitude,” you give practical tips for adults. What advice do you have for mothers who would like to teach their children to be generous and grateful?

Lucille: People who are generous and grateful are also much happier. Studies prove the powerful and long lasting effects of writing a thank you note or even giving a $5 item.

Here are some of the ways I tried to model gratitude and generosity to my children:

  • Talk about what you are thankful for. (e.g. “Aren’t we lucky to have such a nice cozy house? Clean clothes? Yummy food?)
  • Model a giving heart by anonymously paying for a person’s coffee or meal. Or pay the toll for the car behind you.
  • Volunteer at food banks or deliver meals to the needy during the holidays.
  • Sponsor a child in a third world country through organizations like Compassion International and
  • Highlight the feeling a child gets when someone is generous to him or her. (“Wasn’t that nice how Elizabeth thought about you and gave you half of her cookie?”)
  • Have older children journal and younger children draw pictures of the people and things they are thankful for.

Cheri: Lucille, thank you so much for sharing with our moms and for sharing a message through your book that is both challenging and reassuring!

ReturnImage.aspx.jpegLucille Zimmerman is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Littleton, CO and an affiliate faculty professor at Colorado Christian University.

She is also the author of Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World. Through practical ideas and relatable anecdotes, readers can better understand their strengths and their passions—and address some of the underlying struggles or hurts that make them want to keep busy or minister to others to the detriment of themselves.

Renewed can help nurture those areas of women’s lives to use them better for work, family, and service. It gives readers permission to examine where they spend their energy and time, and learn to set limits and listen to “that inner voice.”

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Now it’s time to LINK UP & join the fun, meet new friends & make your message more available to others!

 

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Filed Under: Books & DVDs, Cheri Gregory, Featured Guests, M.O.M. Approved Resources, TMI Link Up 12 Comments

We’re all in this together – A GIVEAWAY

April 6, 2013 By

*Don’t miss the giveaway at the end of this post. There are many ways to enter!

I had a conversation with a mom a while ago that really made me think.

She was worried about her two-year-old, who had become a picky eater. Frustrated with the meal-time battles and the fact that her toddler had just learned to say the word no, this mom threw her hands up and said, “My husband and I decided we’re failing as parents.”

It broke my heart.

Anybody who has had a two-year-old knows that these types of battles are totally normal.

I understood this mom’s frustration, because I’ve been there.

As I was telling her that, she said, “I don’t know. Maybe I should join a mom’s group or something. I don’t usually talk about this kind of stuff.” I could see the relief she felt in sharing, and I agreed, telling her how much mom’s groups helped me, especially during those first few years.

“I’m not sure, though,” she said, hesitating. “I just feel like any moms groups I’ve heard about have been judgmental and negative.”

That broke my heart too.

But unfortunately, I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been guilty of judging other moms at one point or another.

I saw this one day when I was at the doctor’s office picking up medicine for my daughter when she had strep throat. Another mom, about 8 1/2 months pregnant, sat near me, looking exhausted. Her daughter (about two) clung to her leg, coughing and crying, and her son (about four) ran around the waiting room.

When the little girl’s cries got louder and the mom didn’t respond, people in the waiting room began to stare. I could almost hear them thinking…Why isn’t that mom doing something?

After several minutes, the mom tiredly leaned over and picked the little girl up. Suddenly, the crying stopped… and her daughter threw up. Everywhere. There was an audible gasp in the room. And plenty more stares.

I hurried to the counter, grabbed the Kleenex off the nurse’s station, and brought it back to the mom, whose look of appreciation gave me a lump in my throat. I could feel her embarrassment and exhaustion.

I could feel the irritation in the room too, as if it was the mom’s fault her daughter got sick.

With this mom in the doctor’s office, I just felt sorry for her. But I have to be honest; there have been times I was the one doing the judging…

When Katie was born, Mike and I started off parenting with a six-week parenting class. We read a bunch of books and tried to get as many tools under our belts as we could. And as Katie became a toddler and started to test us, she didn’t get away with much (the poor first child). We implemented what we learned and were pretty happy with the results.

Up to that point, when I would see other kids throwing a tantrum and the mom not doing anything about it, I’d sometimes wonder why is the mom allowing that? Why isn’t she doing X, Y, or Z? In other words, I judged.

Then there was that fateful day in Target when Katie was about two and a half (just old enough to start having some real tantrums of her own) and she threw herself prostrate on the floor, kicking and SCREAMING. No matter what I did, no matter what X, Y, or Z consequence I promised, there was no stopping her.

It was humbling, to say the least.

I got more than a few stares as I carried her out of the store (me hot-flashing with embarrassment, and her kicking wildly).

Ever since then, when I see kids acting out like that, I feel for the mom instead of judging her. Because I’ve been there. We’ve all been there at one point or another, no matter how well we discipline or how many parenting books we read.

Every child is different and every mom is different, and what works for one parent or child may not work for another.

And sometimes–yes—we mess up. 

We don’t handle situations the way we should, or we aren’t consistent.

Still.

Let’s not judge each other, moms.

We come from different walks of life, backgrounds, and families.

If we’ve perfected our kids’ nap schedules, we shouldn’t judge moms who drive their kids around so they’ll fall asleep in the car. And if we don’t think a nap schedule is important, we shouldn’t judge moms who do.  If our kids go to public school, we shouldn’t judge moms who home school. And if we home school, we shouldn’t judge moms who don’t. The list could go on and on.

We’re different people with different reasons for the decisions we make, or have to make.

But we’re all moms.

And we’re in this together.

Motherhood is hard enough without the judging stares or whispers from others that make us feel like we’re failing.

So the next time we see a mom struggling or handling a situation differently than we would,  instead of judging, let’s help her, or smile at her, or pray for her, or encourage her.

If we all did that, just think how much easier being a mom would become.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” ~Matthew 7:1-3 NIV 

Be More Blissful: Do you ever feel like you can’t be real with other moms? That you’re the only one struggling with certain issues or frustrations? I promise you, you’re not alone. Being honest and vulnerable with others helps you know that. Reach out and share your challenges with another mom today.

A Mom’s Prayer: God, I don’t want to be a judging mom. Help me to not be so hard on myself or others. Let words of encouragement flow through me. I know there are no perfect parents. Help me to see the good in the moms in my life – in my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister, my grandma, myself, and in the friends you have surrounded me with. Thank you for the way these moms have blessed me. Help me to be a blessing back! – Amen

gennyheikka

*This post is an excerpt taken from chapter 5 of Genny Heikka’s new book Finding Mommy Bliss, available in the app store for only $1.99! Download the free Snippet reading app onto your iPhone or iPad and you will find her book there!

 

GIVEAWAY DETAILS! 

Be sure to enter the drawing below for a $25.00 Walmart gift card! There are many ways to enter! No purchase necessary. A winner will be drawn and notified next week. Don’t miss out on the bliss!

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Mentor”ish”ing on the Trail + Monday M.O.M. Link-Up!

March 31, 2013 By

** TMI_Running_Image

by Erin MacPherson

I’m part of a run”ish”ing group with six of my girlfriends.

We call it run”ish”ing because if you’ve ever seen me run, you’d know that I certainly could not be labeled a runner.  Run”ish”er is a stretch.  But regardless, every Saturday morning we get up bright and early and meet at a local park to go run”ish”ing.  We even have shirts to remind us of our athletic prowess (or lack thereof).

Now, I know it sounds crazy (who gets up at 6 am to do something sporty?) but it’s become the part of my week that I most look forward to.  Not because of the huffing and puffing (although, on certain days there is a lot of that), but because of the conversation.

My run”ish”ing girls are my best mentor moms.

Not because they are famous authors or counselors or teachers, but because they are real.  They have kids who do crazy things like pull all of the dryer sheets out of the box and spread them into a giant car track around the house.  And they don’t judge me for choosing to avoid the 5 o’clock meltdown by making PB & J for dinner.  And they even understand that there are times when being a mom is the last thing I want to be.

There’s just something about long hours on the trail that leads to real conversation.

But there’s more.  Because beyond honest conversation, there’s an atmosphere in our early morning runs that gives us permission to mentor each other in a way that’s just as honest.  My run”ish”ing girls don’t hold back any punches.  Instead, they listen carefully to what I say and then they tell me what they think, even if it’s something I don’t want to hear.

It’s as if we can tell the truth with each other as long as we’re run”ish”ing.

So when I told my run”ish”ing girls that I was feeling crushed in my marriage, ready to run away and find something or someone better, they listened.  But they didn’t commiserate.  They didn’t tell me that I had every right to feel the way I did.  Or that my husband was the big, bad guy and I was the innocent victim.  Instead, they spoke the truth in love, if you will.  They mentor”ish”ed not with lectures or even their own expertise, but with prayerful conversation and loving friendship. They walked next to me, becoming part of the healing.  They became more than mentors.  They were my partners.

Now I’m not saying that everyone should join a run”ish”ing group—trust me, some mornings it’s not as fun as it sounds.  But I do think every woman should have a group of friends who are willing to mentor”ish” them.  Not women who tell them what they should do, but women who are willing to listen and then step and walk (or run”ish) with them on their journey.  And whether that means getting up at 6 am on a Saturday or heading out for coffee after your kids go to bed, it’s important to have good mom friends who are willing to talk beyond diapers and sleep training.  And are willing to give you a break when you just can’t make it up that next hill.

Erin MacPherson is an Austin, Texas mom of three who stays home with her kids by day, writes by nights and (occasionally) run”ish”es half marathons with her friends.  She is the author of “The Christian Mama’s Guide” series and blogs at www.christianmamasguide.com.

A Christian Mamas Guide

A Christian Mama’s Guide to the Grade School Years: Everything You Need to Know to Survive (and Love) Sending Your Kid Off into the Big Wide World

Oh, how we needed this book two decades ago when the “self-esteem movement” was brainwashing parents into raising generations of entitled kids! Erin’s Fifteen Factors are spot-on remedies for the spiritual immaturity and arrested social development I see daily in my high school students.

With hilarious transparency, keen insights, and practical faith, Erin coaches you to support and challenge your child without enabling or over-protecting. Chapter 14 alone — “Do This, Not That” — is worth the price of admission!

Cheri Gregory  (aka ”Mrs. G”, 20+ year classroom veteran and ”Mom” to two college kids!)

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SUBSCRIBE to receive your FREE copy of Overwhelmed today!

AND/OR

SIGN UP to BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area!
You will also receive a FREE copy of Overwhelmed and as a ministry tool, please feel free to make as many copies as you need.

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Now it’s time to LINK UP & join the fun, meet new friends & make your message more available to others!

 

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Filed Under: Books & DVDs, Character Counts, Cheri Gregory, Childhood, Education, Featured Guests, Growth & Development, Parenting, Responsibilities, School Days 4 Comments

Great Easter Activities

March 27, 2013 By

Colorful eggs. Tons of fabulous candy. And a giant bunny.

A cross. Palm branches. And an empty tomb.

As a child holidays can be quite confusing. As a mom it can be difficult to know how to teach your children about Easter. Below are some ideas to help your kids understand what Easter is all about.

  • Resurrection rolls are a fun, tasty, educational, and relatively quick Easter breakfast recipe. My children love making them. One note to this recipe, I buy the large sized crescent rolls to keep the marshmallow inside the roll better.
  • Resurrection Cookies. This recipe begins the Saturday night before Easter. So plan ahead a bit. Buy any ingredients you need. I love how we leave these cookies in the oven overnight. They are tasty and a great object lesson about what Jesus did on the cross.
  • Resurrection Eggs. I love having objects to tell the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Here is a printable and directions for making your own resurrection eggs.
  • Easter movies. For much older children the movie The Passion of the Christ which is rated R gives a detailed and realistic view of Jesus on the cross. There are also other wonderful movies for younger children. My kids love Veggie Tales An Easter Carol. There is also the Jesus Film and The Jesus Movie (animated). Plus many similar movies that help teach our kids about Jesus.
  • Resurrection Gardens. I made one slightly different. I had no grass seed. So instead I bought floral foam and moss. It stays green all year. Here is the picture of the one I made with my kids. Resurrection Garden
  • The History Channel’s miniseries The Bible is another way to talk about Jesus and the Bible.
  • Role play the story of the passion or ask your older children to think about how Jesus felt and what the other people involved felt or did.
  • Read the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection from the gospels. Talk about the similarities and differences of each account.
  • Spend time singing praises to Jesus for what He did on the cross. Explain any words your children may not understand.

What traditions or activities do you do to celebrate Easter? Let us know.

by Angela Mackey

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SUBSCRIBE to receive your FREE copy of Overwhelmed today!

AND/OR

SIGN UP to BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area! You will also receive a FREE copy of Overwhelmed and as a ministry tool, please feel free to make as many copies as you need.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

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