Plant a mentee, watch her grow

May 16, 2012 By

As the weather warms and growing seasons take root, are you planting anything?  If you want plump, juicy tomatoes, now is the time to plant. If you want bunches of cilantro for guacamole, now is the time to sprinkle seeds. If you want to have a mom with her ear turned to the Lord, now is the time to plant a mentee and watch her grow.

While soil is soft and sunshine frequent, lovers of all things veggie carefully dig and plant and water. Summer is the perfect time to nurture a mentoring relationship that will take root, sprout new patterns, and bear fruit. If you long to be that mentee whose life is the rich soil that will host a harvest, this could be your summer!

The Mom Initiative team has a heart for mentoring. When we say we’re “moms on a mission to mentor other moms,” we really are!  We believe mentoring must be personal, but many young moms and longing for a mentor to “discover them” and start to work their soil. They would love to be mentored by a loving, wise, imperfect, Jesus-trusting, encouraging, dependable mentor. So how to you become the mentee? How do you go from hoping for influence to harvest in your life?

Months ago my friend Karen offered a group for young moms based on Jill Savage’s book Professionalizing Motherhood. It’s been about 25 years since she juggled sippy cups and wrangled two boy toddlers, but her heart has not forgotten the challenges young moms feel. She’s lovingly led groups for moms using books like Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 5 Conversations to Have with Your Son, and Love and Respect. This spring, though she never had daughters of her own, Karen planned for “her girls” to get together and make prayer journals to help in their mothering. They’re looking forward to getting together this summer to keep the fellowship going … and do some “on site” intervention with things like laundry and meal planning. She has planted truth and encouragement into the lives of her mentees, and she’s watching them grow.

To find a mentor

  • Pray and tell the Lord how much you long to learn from and be encouraged by a mentor. Ask your Father, girl!
  • Go to where the mentors are!  “Karen’s girls” found her at a Bible study group. Where do you find godly women?
  • Talk to older women. If you only talk to moms in the “diaper crowd,” you’ll find a friend, but not a mentor. Talk to the “graying hairs.”
  • Open up, but don’t be self-centered. Let her get to know you, and get to know her.
  • Invite her in to your life.

Some women honestly feel like they have few options. The Mom Team understands that, so that’s one reason we’re here. Our dream is to be able to connect women longing to have seeds sown in their lives with women eager to plant. Do you know we have an ASK MOM button so you can schedule a chat with one of our mentoring team?

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:17-18

Once you find someone who lives by God’s truth, loves moms, and sows peace, it’s time to ask questions!

Ask questions to take you from hoping to harvesting

  • Hey, would you come have lunch with me one day and give me some tips for how you’d organize my pantry?   It needs help!
  • I can’t get a grip on my freezer; would you like to come over for coffee and tell me how you manage yours?
  • Would you come picnic with me and the kids, tell me what you see, and give me some ideas for what I could do to stop the whining?
  • Would you have time to meet me at the Chick-fil-A play land a few times this summer and  keep me accountable for my devos?
  • Is there a household project I could help you with? I’d love to pick your brain about discipline while we clean.
  • Would you be willing to read a book with me this summer, so we could meet and chat about it and pray together?

If you want to reap a harvest as a mom, now is a great time to plant.

If you’ve got seeds in your hand, plant a mentee and watch her grow!

If you’re longing to be fruitful,  pray .. go .. talk .. open up .. invite!

This could be your summer to grow!

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, Friendships, Julie Sanders, Mentees, Mentors Tagged With: , , , , 2 Comments

Making Mentoring Personal

May 7, 2012 By

Mentoring only makes a difference if it gets personal.  The way most of us live life today insulates us from getting very personal. In fact, there are more ways than ever to create the profile that we want the world around us to see.  A status update and profile picture present the “me” we choose to show our family and girlfriends. If all else fails, we can add highlights, polish, Spanx, or Photoshop to carefully craft our avatar (That’s the little picture that represents “you” online). But a mentor gets past all that.  A mentor gets personal.

The arrival of young Mary at the home of elderly Elizabeth gives us a real-life view of a mentor relationship blossoming. Groundwork must have already been laid, since we’re told that right after her visit from God’s messenger, “Mary arose and went with haste” (Luke 1:39) to the home of her older relative. Elizabeth had clearly cultivated the kind of comfort level with her young kin that inspired Mary to want to be together in their miraculous, shared season of pregnancy.

Elizabeth could have been jealous at Mary’s coveted role of carrying the long awaited Savior. She could have been tangled in frustration that her husband Zechariah was silent. She could have even complained about how hard pregnancy is when you’re “old” compared to Mary’s youthful plight.  But there’s no record of selfish pre-occupation. Read the whole story here, but you’ll find that Elizabeth received Mary with blessing and affirmation. The two would spend months together in Elizabeth’s home, preparing their hearts as their bodies changed. A mentor has the power to build up.

This unique mentoring relationship served to ready these two mothers-to-be for the special calling each had received from God. As Mary prepared to bear, raise, and grieve the Son of God, her Heavenly Father used an earthly mentor to build her up. Each woman benefits from the spirit-minded friendship of another woman. God uses mentors to walk alongside us as we bring our roles as wives and mothers into alignment with His plan.  And that gets really personal.

The mentoring friendship of Elizabeth and Mary:

  • Mentoring is practical – it needs to take place where we do life, including in our home.  Here is where we can model, be accountable, and see the “real us” behind the profile picture.
  • Mentoring is personal – it needs to deal with our relationships, husbands and children. Imagine how much Mary learned about marriage as she watched Elizabeth relate to her silent (his own fault) husband Zechariah.
  • Mentoring is purposeful – it needs to flow out of and back to our walk with God. From the beginning of her visit, Mary heard encouragement laced with God’s truth from her mentor (Luke 1: 45).

If you want to be a mentor who makes a difference in the life of your sweet friend, you have to get personal. Peel back the status update and look deep. Don’t be afraid to get practical in her home and your home. Get personal with your own relationships and hers. And as Elizabeth shows us, always start and go back to God’s truth.

If you want a mentor to make a difference in your life, take off the polish, comb back your roots, and open the door of your heart and home. Don’t be afraid to share the truth, shed tears, or show your trouble spots.  Get personal with your mentor.

7 Ways to Make Mentoring More Personal

  1. Meet in your kitchen or bedroom
  2. Have dinner at one of your homes with your families
  3. Celebrate a holiday together
  4. Go on a vacation together
  5. Help each other clean house
  6. Do childcare for each other
  7. Grocery shop together

Mentoring makes a beautiful difference, because mentoring is personal.

If you’re looking for a mentor in your life, one way to start is by clicking “Ask a M.O.M.” here at the Mom Initiative. We would love to open the doors of our hearts and our online home to you!

 

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Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, Friendships, Julie Sanders Tagged With: , , , 10 Comments

I Am A Controlling Woman

May 1, 2012 By

By Special Guest: Gina Smith

We’ve all heard the phrase, “SHE wears the PANTS in THAT family!” We shake our heads and think about how controlling other women can be. But did you know that every time I complain or am discontent with my husband, correct or criticize him, tell him what to do, or interrupt him…I am controlling!?

I see it so clearly in others but the truth of the matter is that I am a controller. I wear the pants in my family. It’s a part of who I am. It’s a part of EVERY woman. The Word of God tells us that ALL women want to “wear the pants” in the family! All of us want to be in control! The truth is that we, as women, are ALL controllers!

Genesis 3:16 tells us of the consequences of the fall of man. It tells us that because the woman usurped her authority that she would “want to control her husband, but he will dominate you.”

“Sin produces a conflict or power struggle between the man and the woman. In her sin, Eve took the lead. She acted independently. She spurned her husband’s authority. She led the man into sin, usurping his role, acting independently of him in the temptation, overturning the divine order. She should have submitted to him, sought his counsel, let him be the leader. By taking control, she lost it permanently; just as by seeking the delight of the forbidden fruit, she lost delight. She wanted to take the lead and she lost it for good. And the legacy of this is conflict with her husband.” ~John MacArther

If it is a part of who we are! So what can we do about it?

When I see other women acting in a controlling manner, it motivates me to work harder at NOT being that way! When I see the ugliness of it–it causes me to cry out to God and confess my own rebellion and pride! Only as I cry out to the Lord in repentance and depend on Him and His strength am I able to CHOOSE to not be an overbearing and controlling wife. But…

  • I must see my need.
  • I must be able to acknowledge that I am a controller and that I need help.
  • I must crucify that part of me that is controlling!

Romans 12:1 “Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.”

I must choose to WORSHIP GOD by choosing NOT to be controlling. 

And when I do that…

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Peter 4:11 “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

HE is seen and HE is glorified! AMEN!

Gina Smith has served along side her husband at a small Christian college, right outside of DC for almost 20 years. She met her husband, Brian, while she was in college and he was in seminary. They married in 1988. After graduating, they served with “Youth for Christ” for 2 years until Brian was offered a job at the college Gina attended. Brian is a faculty member and the dean of students, and Gina is the dean of women. She has a degree in Bible and when she is not spending time with her family or students, she writes for MomLife Today and Internet Cafe Devotions. You can visit her at her personal website: www.keepinitreal-gina.com

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Complaint-Free: Who Me?

April 30, 2012 By

Complaint-Free: Who Me?

As I thumbed through a copy of A Complaint-Free World five years ago, I considered myself the most optimistic, positive, encouraging (and obviously humble) person I knew.

In fact, I joked to my husband that we needed to buy two (maybe three) dozen copies to give the long list of negative people in my life who drag me down with their never-ending complaints, criticism, and gossip.

Than I read a little farther. And the author had the nerve to suggest that of all the negative people in my life, I might be the worst of the worst!

That. Made. Me. Mad.

So I decided to take the author’s Complaint-Free challenge: 21 days with no complaining. Just to prove how wrong he was, I even ordered his silly little purple bracelet.

The instructions were simple:  I was to start each day with the bracelet on my left wrist. As soon as I caught myself complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, I was to move the bracelet to the other wrist.

For accountability, I told my students what I was doing.

Big mistake.

Did my students ever warm up to the “challenge.” In the first class, my bracelet switched arms five times in just three minutes!

The shocker was that each time took me totally by surprise. I wasn’t even thinking critical thoughts, when suddenly, “Mrs. G? Is that complaining I hear?”

I soon discovered that my optimistic self-image resembled reality the way a chick flick resembles marriage: hardly at all.

 

Sound Familiar?

Maybe you’ve experienced some of the same warning signs I have. See if you identify with any of the following statements:

___ “My life would be much easier without the negative people who drag me down.

___ “I speak Sarcasm fluently.”

___ “When I see a type-o on a sign, I have to point it out to someone.”

___ “I’m surrounded by difficult people at work and/or at home.”

___ “It’s not really gossip; everything we say about her is true.”

___ “There’s an impossible person in my life who will never change.”

___ “I struggle with anxiety, fear, and/or depression.”

___ “Negative things people have said keep popping back into my mind.”

If two or more sound familiar, you’re invited to take The PURSE-onality Challenge!

 

What is The PURSE-onality Challenge?

Quite literally, it’s 31 days of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, May 1-31 (with a warm-up week starting April 22.)

I’ve tried the Complaint-Free challenge many times in the last five years. But just trying to stop old bad habits was never enough; I needed to start new ones to replace the old.

So for one month, we’ll be focusing on four positive habits: spotlighting Personality strengths, eliminating complaints, journaling gratitude, and memorizing scripture.

 

Take The PURSE-onality Challenge if…

…you feel convicted to change your thoughts and words.

…you’re at your wit’s end with a particular relationship.

…you desire more hope, joy, and peace in your life.

 

Check out our website to sign up!

You’ll also find three free audio messages:

Let’s Get PURSE-onal!

Personality Puzzle for Parents of Preschoolers

and

Healthy Marriages Major in History (NOT Math!) 

plus a free e-Book: Top 10 Priceless Gifts that Don’t Cost a Dime for Each PURSE-onality!

 

Enter to win a free copy of The PURSE-onality Challenge journal and a set of 31 laminated Bible verse cards!

Leave a comment telling what changes you’d most want to see in your life from taking The PURSE-onality Challenge!

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Filed Under: Character Counts, Cheri Gregory, Relationships, Uncategorized 2 Comments

Nurture Your Marriage ~ Take a Break

April 4, 2012 By

Why in the world would a marriage post have the title, “Take a Break”?

Take a break with each other.

There are times that I need to take a breather; a time of refreshing, to get myself together.

There are also those times that taking a break with my husband gives me a chance to possibly gain a new outlook on something that I’ve been rolling over in my mind. This wouldn’t be possible if I had children in my ear also.

I try to find unique and creative ways to spend time alone with my husband. My children are older now and my babysitting-finding days are mostly over.

My husband is self-employed and can set his own schedule.  Sometimes I’m along for the ride when he does have appointments.

I know that not every mom has the opportunity to do something like this during the day, but what about when everyone is home in the evenings?

*Yes, there are circumstances that don’t allot for “conventional” break times, i.e. shift work, military deployment, caring for someone with special needs, the care of older parents, etc.*

What I’ve found that works in our home for break time are both short spurts and longer moments.

  • After putting the kids in bed, treat yourself to popcorn and a movie. Snuggle up. Even if you dose off during the movie, that’s okay.
  • Hang out in the bathroom with him when he’s showering. Just talk to each other.
  • Make plans to spend a few hours running errands together.
  • Find questions for you and your spouse to ask each other. Eat dinner later than the kids and ask away. I found a good site that may help you get started with questions: Marriage Missions. (Use discretion. You and your husband know where you are in your marriage relationship. Some questions may be questions that would require more than one dinner to answer.)
  • Pick a couple’s devotional, or  read from a favorite book in the Bible together. After you’ve read it (either at the same time or not), take a few minutes to discuss it.
  • Hug each other while you pray together.
If you’re new to taking a break, start small and don’t try to do too much or everything at one time. Just start.
Your husband and your children will thank you for it.
Your man will see that he matters to you and your children will be rewarded in knowing that mom wants to spend time with dad. They will also see a healthy example of each person’s role in the home.

 

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Filed Under: Kela Nellums, Marriage 3 Comments

I Will Carry You

April 3, 2012 By

Lightning pain coursed through my abdomen. I was nearing my 5th abdominal surgery in four years. Like the pinball in a pinball machine, I bounced from doctor to doctor trying to find the answer to my mystery illness. Some mornings, the only thing I could pray was “Jesus help me” as I doubled over on the floor.

“Was I dying?”

“Did I have a hidden cancer they couldn’t find?”

“What was wrong with me?”

It was a parched, lonely season, one of unrelenting isolation. I so desperately needed a friend who understood my pain. I remember a day when I was emotionally breaking under the weight of my fears. Flooded with “what if’s,” a tear created a thin road through my make-up as I tried to blink back my desperation. I reached out to someone about my hurt, but the door slammed shut. I left the conversation more physically and emotionally broken than when it had begun. I couldn’t believe how easily, someone that had been my friend for years, had dismissed my brokenness. The wound was deep and I wasn’t sure if the friendship would ever be the same.

After ten years of walking this road, I’ve learned to give grace more easily in my friendships. I spent years holding on to a few conversations that didn’t meet my expectations, while I withheld grace from those I felt abandoned me in my time of need. When we are in need, it is human nature to reach out to a friend or family member, and I encourage you to do so. However, God showed me that every relational disappointment I encountered was his way of saying:

 “Your burden is too big for you. It’s also too big for your friends, but in no way is it too big for Me. I will carry you.” 

In Mark 2, we meet a group of men that physically carry and lower their friend through the roof of someone’s home in order to get him to Jesus. These men were carriers. These friends literally took on the weight of their friends’ illness and ushered him to the feet of Christ.

The truth is, we fondly remember those that carry us through tragedy, those friends that help us when we cannot help ourselves. Yet, I have learned that it is unfair to always place God-sized burdens on those we care about. I pray that God continually transforms me into the carrying type of friend, but also a woman who gives grace freely in friendships. There are times when we must lift up our friends when our friends cannot lift a finger, but also seasons in which God must do the heavy lifting for us.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

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Filed Under: Friendships, Jessica Kirkland, MOM Stuff Tagged With: 12 Comments

Choices

March 19, 2012 By

That afternoon changed everything.  Our happy, church-going family was suddenly thrown into unimaginable pain.  Like so many of my sweet  sisters in Christ, this was the afternoon I stumbled upon porn on our computer, and the pornography ended up to be just the tip of the iceberg.  It seemed each day brought new, unimaginable confessions from my husband.

I was plunged into pain so deep and heavy I could hardly breathe. The shock that this could have come from my husband, practiced in my own home, was incomprehensible. Where was God in this? Why didn’t He protect me? And what was I to do now?

The despair and shock quickly shifted into intense anger and hate towards my husband. I had every right to leave. I would no longer be the victim of his lies and deceit. I deserved better and would love any chance to get him back, to make him feel the depth of my pain.

My anger was also directed at God. Where in the world was He through all of this? Why didn’t my Heavenly Father protect me? He was no longer reliable, so I needed my own game plan now.

Through all of my emotional chaos, Christ kept calling me to come back and seek His unchanging truths in scripture. One of these truths popped out at me from the familiar verse in Proverbs, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The Lord reminded me that I was that child, a child that grew up being taught to live by God’s Word. I now had a choice to make. Would I choose to depart from it? What would happen to my children if I clung to my rights and did things my own way?

The words from Deuteronomy 30:19 quickly answered these questions for me, “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.”

Six years later, I am so grateful God gave me the strength to not depart from His word. It has been a long journey, but my God has been faithful and our marriage and children have been blessed just as He has promised.

❀Dear mom, have you been tempted to depend on your emotions rather than God’s Word?  Are you clinging to the truths you have been taught in scripture?❀

By Tara Dovenbarger

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Stop. Breathe.

March 15, 2012 By

pink clouds sunsetA misty drizzle spritzes the window while I relax in the recliner and listen to my children’s laughter. When what to my wandering eye should appear, but a miniature sleigh and…Oops! I guess I got too relaxed for a moment.

It’s a rare occurrence these days to have time to daydream. I’m a freelance writer and editor, but I also homeschool my children. School’s in full session, as is all the busy-ness that accompanies this season of life. We have classes, gymnastics, Taekwondo, baseball games, church events and sleepovers. Not to mention deadlines, doctor appointments, Bible studies and holidays. Complicate matters with each family member’s unique frustration level and nerves can quickly fry.

My daughter tends to be overly dramatic. Why, just today she threw a fit at Academy Sports & Outdoors because she did not get a soccer ball like the one her brother has. Even with Mom and Dad’s assurance of, “Maybe you’ll get one for your birthday,” she insisted she never gets anything she wants and whined and moaned all the way home.

My husband was tempted to react. He sternly reprimanded her a couple times, but then remembered to stop and breathe. Acknowledging her tantrum rewarded her and encouraged her to continue, whereas stopping to breathe allowed Daddy to maintain self-control and assert his authority more effectively.

First Peter 5:8 (NIV) advises, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The enemy prides himself on the inevitable disasters that loom over the most carefully organized schedules and the conflicts that lurk on every page of the calendar.

And so each day, when you set to task and havoc threatens peaceful productivity: Stop. Breathe. Such restraint improves discipline, both the discipline of our labor and the discipline of daily structure. It curbs anxiety and allows God to order our days. By practicing self-control, we resist our enemy the devil and he flees from us, freeing us to go about our busy-ness in a civilized manner.

The clouds have given way to the setting sun, weaving hues of lavender and azure amid soft pink billows…A Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night! Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.

By Jodi Whisenhunt

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Filed Under: Blog, Education, Home, Homeschool, Jodi Whisenhunt, MOM Stuff, Parenting, Relationships Tagged With: , , , , 1 Comment

Love on Display

February 15, 2012 By

REW luvs JLW candy heartYesterday was what my husband and I refer to as a “Hallmark holiday.” Don’t get me wrong, I applaud the efforts of the greeting card industry to help people communicate their feelings, but I believe expression of our love and affection for our loved ones should not be limited to one day on the calendar.

Love doesn’t just happen. It needs to be nurtured if it is to grow into something beautiful and lasting. Marriage relationships especially require daily attention to develop and mature. Often that means you make an intentional choice to show your husband you care, a deliberate effort to give of yourself.

What are some ways to let your husband know you love him every day? Put your love on display.

  • “Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16). Start each day anew by letting him know he holds your heart.
  • “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart” (Proverbs 3:3). When he has steamed the mirrors after a shower, leave a message in the mist.
  • “Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat” (Genesis 27:4). Surprise him with his favorite meal or a special dessert.
  • “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). After the kids have gone to bed, instead of asking about his work, reminisce on your dating days. Maybe pull out some old photos and cue up a special tune.
  • “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14). Let him control the television remote without protesting. It’s alright to watch yet another sporting event.
  • “When he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate” (Exodus 22:27). Tend his wounds. Be it physical or emotional injury, respond with compassion and care.
  • “Listen carefully to my words; let your ears take in what I say” (Job 13:17). Listen when he speaks. Remember what he says and converse about topics of his interest.
  • “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). Affirm him. Compliment his strengths and complement him in front of his peers.

And of course, tell him you love him! Many years ago, when my husband and I were teenaged boyfriend and girlfriend, we saw a movie in which the main character, played by Keifer Sutherland, falls in love with a deaf girl. At the end, the girl jets off to Paris. As Keifer rides his motorcycle alongside her airplane, the two wave to each other the sign language gesture for “I love you.” Since seeing that film, my husband and I have waved “I love you” whenever parting ways. The gesture was also one of the first things we taught each of our children, and our goodbye tradition continues to this day. Even when words won’t work, you can still put your love on display!

I wish you a very happy Un-Valentine’s Day every day of the year, dear Moms!

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She Calls Me Friend

February 3, 2012 By

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“Come on in and have a seat. Let me pour you a cup of this! Let’s chat.”

What woman doesn’t enjoy those words; either from another woman that she just met or one that’s been a friend for a while?

How many of us long for such an exchange?

THAT is friendship at its best. That is what enriches our souls as women.

I know that God is my ultimate source of unconditional comfort, but He also put in us a desire for companionship here on earth.

It seems at times that it’s the most difficult to find and cultivate those face to face, do-life-together kind of friendships.

I remember a time not too long ago that my husband flat out told me that it was time for me to find a best friend. I thought that HE was my best friend. He clarified, while calming me down, that I needed a woman speaking encouragement into my life, as well as someone that I could pour into.

True. So true!

From the time that I started writing on my blog, I gained a wealth of friends; women that are great and I’d spend a day with any of them…but that wasn’t an option.

My husband saw my lack and need for a more personal female influence. I opened myself up and prayed that God would send such a woman.

He did!

I met her at one of our boy’s basketball practices. The thing about her that caught my eye was the book that she was reading that I’d once read. Instant connection!

“Okay, Lord…is this my cue?” One thing that you should know about me is that my personality type screams “play it safe and be quiet.”

I had to make the first step! I’d already told God and my husband that I would!

I’m glad that I did! What came from that one moment was many hours of chats, Bible study, book reading and coffee sessions in the near future. She quickly became a best friend.

I’m not saying that every woman that we meet we’ll have that instant connection, but if we never step out, we won’t know how much richer our lives will be.

I also know that there are many, many women that have been wounded deeply in friendships. I’ve been there. Trusting again (and sometimes again and again) is a choice.

There are some things I’ve learned about women and friendships:

  • She’s a woman just like me. We share a lot of the same needs, wants and desires.
  • She may be praying that I come to speak to her. Not all women are outgoing and need me to approach them.
  • Just because we’re both stay-at-home moms doesn’t mean that she’s home all day. She may have a jam-packed schedule that doesn’t allow for extended hang out time.
  • Just because she works away from her home, don’t automatically assume that she’s always working. She very well may have some down time in the evening for an extended hang out time.
  • Be open to becoming friends with a woman that would seem to be a highly unlikely friend. So what if she has a look totally different from mine. I think I’ll need to look back at my first point.
  • Its good for me to remember not expect too much of one person.
  • Above all, ask God for a discerning spirit when it comes to befriending. I pray that my heart is always in check and that I never have an agenda for becoming friends and that my new friend is actively seeking the same thing.

I know that I’ve only scratched a top layer of this subject of friendship. There are sometimes skills that need to be learned when it comes to communicating with and relating to others. Hopefully we can dig deeper into that soon.

By: Kela Nellums

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Filed Under: Friendships, Kela Nellums Tagged With: , 4 Comments
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