10 Ways to Help a Single Mom

March 8, 2012 By

As the sun began to sneak a peek through the horizontal lines of my mini blinds, I was reminded that another hectic day awaited me. It wasn’t easy being an early bird and a night owl in the same skin, but as a single mom who was struggling to be all and do all, I didn’t have any other choice.

Each day held its own basket full of burdens for a girl who wore too many hats and juggled too many plates. 

An overflowing to-do list is a constant in any mother’s life. There is breakfast to cook, lunches to pack, day care drop offs and school bus pick-ups; there is dinner to prepare, a house to clean, laundry to wash and trips to the grocery store; there are doctor appointments, dentist appointments, field trips and open house; there are baseball practices, piano recitals, church plays and time to help with homework. Not to mention the full time job.

So, how does a single mom do it all? The answer is, she can’t. 

She needs help! You may not even be aware that she needs help, but she does. You look at her and she seems to have it all together but she doesn’t. She’s sinking. Sometimes she feels like she can’t even catch her breath.

Every night, she tucks her  little one in bed and begins to play catch up with the household chores while her body is crying out for rest and her heart is crying out for help.

And that’s where you come in. Yeah – you. Her friend. Perhaps her mentor. But definitely you! 

You may not be sure how you can help, so The M.O.M. Initiative is providing you with 10 ways you can help a single mom. I know it may be a little inconvenient and may require a bit of a sacrifice, but you will be ministering to her heart more than you can imagine.

  1. Offer to babysit even if she has nowhere to go. Whether she chooses to go off with friends or stay home and sleep or just watch a movie, your offer to babysit will give her some desperately needed down time.
  2. Make her a meal and have it ready when she gets home from work. Knowing she doesn’t have to cook when she walks in the door will lighten her load immensely.
  3. Pay for her to have a manicure or pedicure and watch her children while she enjoys a little pampering. Single moms rarely get an opportunity to enjoy those types of things.
  4. Take her and her children to a local park, zoo, lake or beach to enjoy time together.
  5. Throw her a surprise party and/or bake her a cake to celebrate her for all she does.
  6. Help her children make homemade cards to tell her how much they love and appreciate her.
  7. Give her a gift certificate to have her car tuned up.
  8. Offer to let her give you the money for her groceries, along with a grocery list and save her a trip to the store. She still pays, but you save her the time and inconvenience of doing the grocery shopping. (If your budget allows, let that grocery trip be on you)
  9. Clean her house while she’s at work.
  10. Plan an all day outing to some of her favorite places and take care of all the details for her…including finding a baby sitter.
There are a host of other ways you can help a single mom but this can give you a start. Perhaps your church is looking for ways to minister to single moms… you can use these ideas to get them started.
 
You may only be able to do one of the ideas listed above… or maybe you have some ideas of your own. But whatever you do, please SEE her. Her life isn’t easy and her little ones need a mom who isn’t so overwhelmed that she doesn’t have the time or energy to present when she’s present.
 
 
And whatever you do… Pray for her. It’s the greatest gift you can give her.
 
 
What are some ways you’ve ministered to single moms? If you are a single mom, what are some ways you wish others would minister to you? What do you consider a single mom’s biggest need?

By Stephanie Shott

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5 Things Successful Moms Do Right

January 3, 2012 By

Over the years I have observed and interviewed numerous moms whose children have grown into godly adults, all of who serve the Lord, whether as a stay-at-home mom, in full time ministry or in a secular vocation. While this is not a scientifically based observation, I was able to narrow their success down to twenty common traits. Here are the first five of those twenty.

#1 She gets into her child’s WORLD

“You will always be your child’s favorite toy.” — Vicki Lansky

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is your time. For your little ones, get down on their level, in their world. Your little girl wants you to play house with her. Your little man wants to use the curves on your body as his racetrack. As your children grow older the games grow more complex, but they want you to be interested in their world.

Do you know ALL of your child’s favorites? If not, find out and use it! What is your child’s favorite: Meal … Dessert … Toy … Snack … Movie … TV show … Restaurant … Candy … Holiday … Sport? Your child will feel loved through your thoughtful gestures.

Ask your child what she wants to be when she grows up. Ask her what you can do to help her fulfill that dream. When you take time to spend with your child and get into their world they will feel secure and deeply loved.

#2 She is involved in her children’s FRIENDSHIPS

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” — Unknown

It is a law of nature. Your child will become whomever they spend most of their time.

The best point of defense is to be on the offense. You can do this by knowing whom your child is spending time with. Be on the look out for warning signs.

If you notice a sudden (or even gradual) change in your child’s behavior or attitude, it is time to begin prying into their friendship.

If you lay down the law about friendships when your children are young, it will be much easier for them to accept your guidelines at age 11, 13 or 15 when you say, “enough… I don’t want you to hang around with the boy or girl that you are hanging around with.”

Be willing and prepared to be lovingly firm to protect your child from friends that are not a good influence. DO NOT COMPROMISE ON THIS ISSUE. This is a battle worth fighting!

# 3 – She HUGS her children often

“Sometimes its better to put love into hugs than to put it into words.” — Unknown

Even if your child is not the physical type, or if she feels that she or he is too old to be hugged, make sure you give pure, physical touch to your child on a daily basis. Hugs are always best, but a tousle of the hair, or a tender pat on the back, or even a tender brush of their hand will keep them in touch with you.

Be sure that you touch them on a daily basis. It is a biological fact that humans needs frequent touch. A baby’s growth can actually be stunted due to lack of touch. A child’s emotional well-being is often proportionate to the amount of touch they receive. Be very careful to not deprive your child of your gentle, pure touch.

#4 – She chooses her BATTLES wisely

“Parents should never harshly discipline for childish behavior or mistakes.” — Unknown

There will come a time when you will need to ask yourself some very important questions:

Is the way he wears his hair really worth the daily struggle? Does it really matter that he is wearing cowboy boots with his shorts? Does her room really have to be in perfect order at all times?

Certainly, the role of a parent is to train their children, preparing them for adult-hood. But, if something continues to be a struggle and you find yourself nagging A LOT over certain issues, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the battle. Here’s a good way to begin the evaluation. Ask yourself these questions:

“Is his/her action deliberate?”

“Is his/her action accidental?”

“Is his/her action or lack of action a heart matter?”

If you determine that there is a deliberate defiance, then you certainly must pursue that battle and with loving firmness continue training your child in that area.

If you determine that the action was accidental, or not a defiant heart matter, then it is time to back off and allow some tolerance and grace.

If you consistently battle with your child you are at risk of losing and risk him or her shutting down on you and pulling away. Children by design will gradually pull away as they get older. It is important that the pulling away happens naturally and is not a byproduct of conflict in their home.

# 5 – She says “NO” from time to time

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.” – Richard L. Evans

It is okay to say “no” to your child, even if you can afford what they want. It is very important that your children learn early on that they must handle the word “no” in an amenable manner. Whether your children are in the toddler stage, adolescent or teen years, if they throw a fit or take on an inappropriate attitude when you say “no” it is time to pull back the reigns a bit and say, “no” until they can handle it in an agreeable manner.

Almost anyone can afford a .69-cent matchbox car. Saying “no” has little to do with whether you can afford the item or not. Saying “no” keeps your children’s wants and needs in perspective.

If they rarely or never hear the word “NO” when they are younger, they suffer a tremendous risk of running into great difficulty when they start dating and with the unending knocks of peer pressure.

And by the way … don’t ever fall for the “but everybody’s doing it” argument. It’s okay to tell your child “no, everybody isn’t doing it, because you aren’t doing it.”

“The thing that impresses me the most about America, is the way parents obey their children.” – King Edward VIII (1894-1972).

What are some other things successful mothers do?

By: Shelly Brown

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It’s Scary Being a Mom

December 22, 2011 By

Babies don’t come with instruction manuals and mommas don’t automatically know what to do. Are you surprised by that?

I remember the day I first brought my newborn baby boy home. I was so awed by that sweet little bundle of humanity that I could barely speak. But my over-joyed heart quickly transformed into an overwhelmed flood of fear when I realized the responsibility that came with that 7 pound 14 ounce treasure of pure pleasure.

All I could think is, “What am I going to do with him now?” “What if something goes wrong?” “What if he cries and I don’t know why?” “How will I know if he gets enough to eat when I breatfeed him?” “Will he be a good baby?” “What do I do if I can’t get him to sleep?” “How much sleep is enough?” “What? When? How? Why? What if?” The uncertainty seemed endless!

Every question sent my heart on a wild goose chase and left me more afraid than before.

Whether you’re still carrying that sweet little baby in your womb or in your arms, he still leaves you with lots of questions and not so many answers.

So, where do you go when you don’t know what to do? Do you have a support system in place? Family? Friends? A neighbor? A mentor?

Well, whether you are in the company of plenty of help or you feel like you’re in this journey alone, we want you to know that we are hear to help. We’re moms who have been there with our knees knocking and hearts pounding while visions of questions danced in our heads.

We all know it’s scary being a mom!

Each M.O.M. here has been where you are and longs to encourage you on your journey! We are moms on a mission and we love helping you be the best mom you can be.

Each M.O.M. here can teach you from her own mistakes as well as from her successes. We’ve all looked back and wished we could have done some things differently and we’re here to help you avoid making some of the mistakes we made.

God deems your role as a mother as very valuable. He chose this path of motherhood for you. And while it may be a bit scary at times, there’s a special joy that comes with being a mom. The Bible says, “He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother.” (Psalm 113:9)

And your precious child is a Divine design…carefully crafted by the Creator of the universe and you are purposefully part of that precious baby’s future. “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13)

You’re going to do fine, sweet mom! Just be sure to ask for help in your journey as a mom. It’s okay that you don’t know all the answers. It’s normal to be a bit afraid. That’s why The M.O.M. Initiative exists. Because we know what it’s like and we’re here to help!

What are your greatest fears about having a baby or about being a new mom?

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