Moms are meant to graduate

May 15, 2013 By

I’m graduating this week. Sunday was a Baccalaureate service for our oldest child, and the week will wrap up with the commencement of her Class of 2013. While my long-ago-little girl takes exams and anticipates her diploma, I’m doing some evaluating of my own. I’ve been the bMoms are meant to graduateest mom I could be, but I have not been a perfect mom. Is mommy guilt seeping in?  A mom can’t help but ask herself if she did the right things, made too many mistakes, or gave her children a good example to follow.

Did my children see me?

  1. … read my Bible enough?
  2. … smile often?
  3. … hug their daddy?
  4. … ignore my phone while driving?
  5. … make dinner?
  6. … call my own mom?
  7. … drink 8 glasses of water a day?
  8. … be active instead of a couch potato?
  9. … make the bed most days?
  10. … read good books?

On this graduation week, I am keenly aware I was not meant to keep my children with me for a lifetime. I was supposed to graduate to a new season of mothering.  And I will … whether or not I’m ready. Pulling out pictures of pre-school and braces and sleepovers (to decorate for our Open House) stirred up lots of joy and smiles and gratitude. How thankful I am for the daughter I see trying on her cap and gown in front of the mirror upstairs; she delights my heart. But from somewhere deep in my mom-heart, doubts and regrets arise, like wondering if I could’ve done extra credit before the semester was over.  I laid a lot of “what if’s” and “wish I woulda’s” and “maybe I shoulda’s” on my myself. 

And then I read Isaiah 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray;we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” 

To a mom in any stage who wonders if she did well enough or even did enough, the perfect, heavenly Parent says, “I know you’ve been imperfect. You all have, and I knew you would. I never expected you to be a perfect mother. I have taken all of your parenting failures, moments of inadequacy, bad mommy-moments, and human habits, and I have laid that on top of my Son who took them away for you. Be free to celebrate the person I am making your child to be, because I am working in their life and in yours too. My Son the Lamb has carried off your blunders. Enjoy.”

Perfection is not a requirement for graduations from pre-school or high school or college … or seasons of motherhood. Let’s not let doubts or regrets rob us of the joy purchased for us by our heavenly Daddy who invites us to dance through our mothering journey with a free and confident heart.

By Julie Sanders

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For you, the single mom…

January 31, 2013 By

My husband used to travel a lot for business.

Many of his trips were overseas and sometimes he was gone for two weeks at a time.

Even though I’m really independent and the kids and I stayed busy while he was gone, we always missed him.

And the time alone always reminded me just how much single moms do. 

There were days I had to get the kids to the orthodontist, then swim team, then guitar lessons, then youth group, all one after the other, and sometimes overlapping.

We ran late a lot, and some days were just plain crazy.

So today, I want to honor all you single moms out there…

Moms who do it on their own not just for two weeks, but all the time.

I want to honor all you military moms too. I cried sometimes when I would drop Mike off at the airport, and that was just for a two-week goodbye. When I think about the sacrifice that so many moms and dads in the military make, and the time away from their families, it makes me pause and appreciate all you do that much more.

So this is for you…

Single Mom

You–the strong woman (even if you don’t always feel like it) that runs her household alone.

You – the mom who wakes up before everyone else so she’ll have enough time to empty the dishwasher, pack lunches, get ready for work, and get the kids to school without being late.

You – the mom who takes the garbage out and cleans the leaves out of the gutter and fixes the sprinklers when they’re not working.

You – the mom who rakes the leaves and gets the oil changed in the car and runs to the grocery store at 9:00 at night so her kids will have milk.

You – the mom who stays up late helping with math problems and vocabulary words, even though she’s exhausted.

You – the mom who cooks dinner and pulls everyone together for a meal, even though she’s the only adult at the table.

You – the mom who signs the school forms that come home in the backpack,

and who remembers when school pictures are due,

and who walks her kids door-to-door selling fundraising candy around the neighborhood for their sports teams.

You – the mom who goes to bed alone,

and who might get a little scared in a rainstorm,

but who never lets the kids see her fear.

You  – the mom who carries the weight

and the responsibility

and the joy

of being a parent

with pride and determination

and perseverance.

You – the mom who is showing her kids how to be strong, 

simply by being there for them,

simply by loving them,

simply by being a mom they know they can always count on.

You – the one who is making a difference

day by day,

hour by hour,

moment by moment,

second by second.

You.

The single mom.

The good mom.

 

Are you a single mom or a military mom? Has your husband traveled and the time away has given you a new perspective on parenting alone? 

If you’re a single mom, I hope today brings you a lighter load, a peaceful moment, help from a friend, a kind word from a stranger, and some time just for you.

If you know a single mom, please send this to her and encourage her that she’s not alone and that she is making a difference!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

 

 

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The Life of a Single Mom

September 21, 2012 By

         Subscribe today for your FREE copy of…

FACING YOUR FEARS – 31 STORIES FROM M.O.M.

 

 

By Guest: Jennifer Maggio

 

She walks in the church and cautiously looks around with her four-year-old daughter in tow.  She hesitantly makes her way to the back of the church and sits quietly, thumbing through her Bible, avoiding eye contact at all costs.  She has contemplated this day for months.  She wonders if she should be here. Does she really belong?  A warm, friendly woman sits beside her and begins to make conversation with the four-year-old.  The young mom is certain the woman notices her empty ring finger and hangs her head in shame.

 

This story repeats itself several times over in churches across our country every Sunday. The single mom is one of the fastest-growing sects of our population, so why does it seem that the body of Christ has ignored them for so long?  There are approximately 15 million single moms in the country and approximately 67% of them do not actively attend church. Yet, less than 1% of all Christian churches have any specific ministry for single mothers.  And whether they are divorced, never married, or widowed, they all have a story and none of them deserve to walk alone.

 

Of course, churches offer them food when they are hungry.  Some may occasionally perform a home repair or provide toys at Christmas.  And those things are great, but why do most churches stop there?  Dare we open a Sunday school class exclusively for single moms? Single mothers need more than food, clothes, and toys. They need long-term discipleship, friendship, and mentorship.

 

As a young adult, Jennifer Maggio had already endured a lifetime of pain. She had suffered through the death of her parents, homelessness, severe sexual and physical abuse, and multiple teen pregnancies, just to name a few. Although raised in church, her life’s course led her to fall away for many years, hanging her head in shame, always feeling she wasn’t good enough to return. Maggio eventually did make that difficult transition back into church. Through time, she became a successful executive in Corporate America who became a happily married mother of three…..but she never forgot those dark moments, alone in her apartment, wondering if anyone cared.

She decided to do something about it. She started by launching a small Bible study in her local church, which later became one of the nation’s largest single moms ministries. Through the success of the local ministry, she launched The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. TLSM is one of the nation’s fastest-growing nonprofits dedicated to equipping the church on how to best meet the needs of single parents in their community and church – from one-time outreaches to long-term discipleship. The Life of a Single Mom provides resources and training to churches on how to launch single moms programs, as well as host single mom events. To date, TLSM has helped more than 456 churches in 19 countries start an effective single moms program.

 

In addition to founding The Life of a Single Mom, Maggio is also an award-winning author of three books: her autobiography, Overwhelmed: The Life of a Single Mom, The Church and the Single Mom, and her latest release – Kids and the Single Mom: A Real-World Guide to Effective Parenting. She is founder of Overwhelmed: The Single Moms Magazine and has been featured in countless media venues, including The 700 Club, Daystar Television, Focus on the Family, Moody Radio, Power Women, and many others. For more information, visit http://www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.

 

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10 Ways to Help a Single Mom

March 8, 2012 By

As the sun began to sneak a peek through the horizontal lines of my mini blinds, I was reminded that another hectic day awaited me. It wasn’t easy being an early bird and a night owl in the same skin, but as a single mom who was struggling to be all and do all, I didn’t have any other choice.

Each day held its own basket full of burdens for a girl who wore too many hats and juggled too many plates. 

An overflowing to-do list is a constant in any mother’s life. There is breakfast to cook, lunches to pack, day care drop offs and school bus pick-ups; there is dinner to prepare, a house to clean, laundry to wash and trips to the grocery store; there are doctor appointments, dentist appointments, field trips and open house; there are baseball practices, piano recitals, church plays and time to help with homework. Not to mention the full time job.

So, how does a single mom do it all? The answer is, she can’t. 

She needs help! You may not even be aware that she needs help, but she does. You look at her and she seems to have it all together but she doesn’t. She’s sinking. Sometimes she feels like she can’t even catch her breath.

Every night, she tucks her  little one in bed and begins to play catch up with the household chores while her body is crying out for rest and her heart is crying out for help.

And that’s where you come in. Yeah – you. Her friend. Perhaps her mentor. But definitely you! 

You may not be sure how you can help, so The M.O.M. Initiative is providing you with 10 ways you can help a single mom. I know it may be a little inconvenient and may require a bit of a sacrifice, but you will be ministering to her heart more than you can imagine.

  1. Offer to babysit even if she has nowhere to go. Whether she chooses to go off with friends or stay home and sleep or just watch a movie, your offer to babysit will give her some desperately needed down time.
  2. Make her a meal and have it ready when she gets home from work. Knowing she doesn’t have to cook when she walks in the door will lighten her load immensely.
  3. Pay for her to have a manicure or pedicure and watch her children while she enjoys a little pampering. Single moms rarely get an opportunity to enjoy those types of things.
  4. Take her and her children to a local park, zoo, lake or beach to enjoy time together.
  5. Throw her a surprise party and/or bake her a cake to celebrate her for all she does.
  6. Help her children make homemade cards to tell her how much they love and appreciate her.
  7. Give her a gift certificate to have her car tuned up.
  8. Offer to let her give you the money for her groceries, along with a grocery list and save her a trip to the store. She still pays, but you save her the time and inconvenience of doing the grocery shopping. (If your budget allows, let that grocery trip be on you)
  9. Clean her house while she’s at work.
  10. Plan an all day outing to some of her favorite places and take care of all the details for her…including finding a baby sitter.
There are a host of other ways you can help a single mom but this can give you a start. Perhaps your church is looking for ways to minister to single moms… you can use these ideas to get them started.
 
You may only be able to do one of the ideas listed above… or maybe you have some ideas of your own. But whatever you do, please SEE her. Her life isn’t easy and her little ones need a mom who isn’t so overwhelmed that she doesn’t have the time or energy to present when she’s present.
 
 
And whatever you do… Pray for her. It’s the greatest gift you can give her.
 
 
What are some ways you’ve ministered to single moms? If you are a single mom, what are some ways you wish others would minister to you? What do you consider a single mom’s biggest need?

By Stephanie Shott

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5 Things Successful Moms Do Right

January 3, 2012 By

Over the years I have observed and interviewed numerous moms whose children have grown into godly adults, all of who serve the Lord, whether as a stay-at-home mom, in full time ministry or in a secular vocation. While this is not a scientifically based observation, I was able to narrow their success down to twenty common traits. Here are the first five of those twenty.

#1 She gets into her child’s WORLD

“You will always be your child’s favorite toy.” — Vicki Lansky

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is your time. For your little ones, get down on their level, in their world. Your little girl wants you to play house with her. Your little man wants to use the curves on your body as his racetrack. As your children grow older the games grow more complex, but they want you to be interested in their world.

Do you know ALL of your child’s favorites? If not, find out and use it! What is your child’s favorite: Meal … Dessert … Toy … Snack … Movie … TV show … Restaurant … Candy … Holiday … Sport? Your child will feel loved through your thoughtful gestures.

Ask your child what she wants to be when she grows up. Ask her what you can do to help her fulfill that dream. When you take time to spend with your child and get into their world they will feel secure and deeply loved.

#2 She is involved in her children’s FRIENDSHIPS

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” — Unknown

It is a law of nature. Your child will become whomever they spend most of their time.

The best point of defense is to be on the offense. You can do this by knowing whom your child is spending time with. Be on the look out for warning signs.

If you notice a sudden (or even gradual) change in your child’s behavior or attitude, it is time to begin prying into their friendship.

If you lay down the law about friendships when your children are young, it will be much easier for them to accept your guidelines at age 11, 13 or 15 when you say, “enough… I don’t want you to hang around with the boy or girl that you are hanging around with.”

Be willing and prepared to be lovingly firm to protect your child from friends that are not a good influence. DO NOT COMPROMISE ON THIS ISSUE. This is a battle worth fighting!

# 3 – She HUGS her children often

“Sometimes its better to put love into hugs than to put it into words.” — Unknown

Even if your child is not the physical type, or if she feels that she or he is too old to be hugged, make sure you give pure, physical touch to your child on a daily basis. Hugs are always best, but a tousle of the hair, or a tender pat on the back, or even a tender brush of their hand will keep them in touch with you.

Be sure that you touch them on a daily basis. It is a biological fact that humans needs frequent touch. A baby’s growth can actually be stunted due to lack of touch. A child’s emotional well-being is often proportionate to the amount of touch they receive. Be very careful to not deprive your child of your gentle, pure touch.

#4 – She chooses her BATTLES wisely

“Parents should never harshly discipline for childish behavior or mistakes.” — Unknown

There will come a time when you will need to ask yourself some very important questions:

Is the way he wears his hair really worth the daily struggle? Does it really matter that he is wearing cowboy boots with his shorts? Does her room really have to be in perfect order at all times?

Certainly, the role of a parent is to train their children, preparing them for adult-hood. But, if something continues to be a struggle and you find yourself nagging A LOT over certain issues, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the battle. Here’s a good way to begin the evaluation. Ask yourself these questions:

“Is his/her action deliberate?”

“Is his/her action accidental?”

“Is his/her action or lack of action a heart matter?”

If you determine that there is a deliberate defiance, then you certainly must pursue that battle and with loving firmness continue training your child in that area.

If you determine that the action was accidental, or not a defiant heart matter, then it is time to back off and allow some tolerance and grace.

If you consistently battle with your child you are at risk of losing and risk him or her shutting down on you and pulling away. Children by design will gradually pull away as they get older. It is important that the pulling away happens naturally and is not a byproduct of conflict in their home.

# 5 – She says “NO” from time to time

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.” – Richard L. Evans

It is okay to say “no” to your child, even if you can afford what they want. It is very important that your children learn early on that they must handle the word “no” in an amenable manner. Whether your children are in the toddler stage, adolescent or teen years, if they throw a fit or take on an inappropriate attitude when you say “no” it is time to pull back the reigns a bit and say, “no” until they can handle it in an agreeable manner.

Almost anyone can afford a .69-cent matchbox car. Saying “no” has little to do with whether you can afford the item or not. Saying “no” keeps your children’s wants and needs in perspective.

If they rarely or never hear the word “NO” when they are younger, they suffer a tremendous risk of running into great difficulty when they start dating and with the unending knocks of peer pressure.

And by the way … don’t ever fall for the “but everybody’s doing it” argument. It’s okay to tell your child “no, everybody isn’t doing it, because you aren’t doing it.”

“The thing that impresses me the most about America, is the way parents obey their children.” – King Edward VIII (1894-1972).

What are some other things successful mothers do?

By: Shelly Brown

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It’s Scary Being a Mom

December 22, 2011 By

Babies don’t come with instruction manuals and mommas don’t automatically know what to do. Are you surprised by that?

I remember the day I first brought my newborn baby boy home. I was so awed by that sweet little bundle of humanity that I could barely speak. But my over-joyed heart quickly transformed into an overwhelmed flood of fear when I realized the responsibility that came with that 7 pound 14 ounce treasure of pure pleasure.

All I could think is, “What am I going to do with him now?” “What if something goes wrong?” “What if he cries and I don’t know why?” “How will I know if he gets enough to eat when I breatfeed him?” “Will he be a good baby?” “What do I do if I can’t get him to sleep?” “How much sleep is enough?” “What? When? How? Why? What if?” The uncertainty seemed endless!

Every question sent my heart on a wild goose chase and left me more afraid than before.

Whether you’re still carrying that sweet little baby in your womb or in your arms, he still leaves you with lots of questions and not so many answers.

So, where do you go when you don’t know what to do? Do you have a support system in place? Family? Friends? A neighbor? A mentor?

Well, whether you are in the company of plenty of help or you feel like you’re in this journey alone, we want you to know that we are hear to help. We’re moms who have been there with our knees knocking and hearts pounding while visions of questions danced in our heads.

We all know it’s scary being a mom!

Each M.O.M. here has been where you are and longs to encourage you on your journey! We are moms on a mission and we love helping you be the best mom you can be.

Each M.O.M. here can teach you from her own mistakes as well as from her successes. We’ve all looked back and wished we could have done some things differently and we’re here to help you avoid making some of the mistakes we made.

God deems your role as a mother as very valuable. He chose this path of motherhood for you. And while it may be a bit scary at times, there’s a special joy that comes with being a mom. The Bible says, “He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother.” (Psalm 113:9)

And your precious child is a Divine design…carefully crafted by the Creator of the universe and you are purposefully part of that precious baby’s future. “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13)

You’re going to do fine, sweet mom! Just be sure to ask for help in your journey as a mom. It’s okay that you don’t know all the answers. It’s normal to be a bit afraid. That’s why The M.O.M. Initiative exists. Because we know what it’s like and we’re here to help!

What are your greatest fears about having a baby or about being a new mom?

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