Articles, Ideas & Resources

She is Hurting How to Help

May 9, 2013 By Angela Mackey

You know her.

She is the one who wants more children, but can’t.

Her child was diagnosed with something that may change his life forever.

She is the mom agonizing over how to train-up her child when her home feels like a war-zone.

She’s the woman whose mom abandoned her and she wants to do better, but is struggling to figure out how.

And you want to help her. You want to help carry her burdens and encourage her.

But it is hard. You don’t want to say the wrong thing – add fire to the pain inside.

How do you help the hurting mom?

Don’t assume you know how she feels. You don’t have her back story, you can’t know her exact pain.
Do say, “I can’t imagine how you feel. Do you want to talk about it?”
Don’t assume she doesn’t want your help because she isn’t asking for it.
Do periodically let her know you are there and praying for her through a text, a Facebook message, a phone call, or even invite her to get together.
Don’t get offended if she doesn’t respond. Sometimes it is all she can do to make it through the day in front of her.
Do ask how you can pray for her. Or if she minds if you text her when you pray for her.
Don’t just quote a few scriptures to her and expect her to “get over it.” Wounds can take a very long time to heal.
Do be faithful to pray.
Don’t share her troubles unless she says it is ok. We can gossip in the name of asking for prayer.
Do ask God for the words to say at the right time. There are times God will call you to say difficult things. Bathe those times in prayer, ask God to reveal what is hidden in your heart in case you need to repent of something. Then speak the truth in love.

Are you this hurting mom? Will you let us know how we can pray for you?

Are you the one who wants to reach hurting moms? How can we pray for you?

by Angela Mackey

Filed Under: Angela Mackey, Articles, Ideas & Resources, Mentors, MOM Stuff, Parenting 2 Comments

How To Find A Mentor & The Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle ($640 Value for $29.97)

April 30, 2013 By Gina Smith

Over the years I have received letters, and have heard young women express, that they have a hard time finding older women who will take the time to spend time/mentor them. I understand where these women are coming from. For years I was in that very situation. I longed for someone to take on that role and found that many older women were too busy or didn’t understand their role biblically.

As I look back, I can see how God provided mentors for me in different ways. It wasn’t always in the way I would have liked, but I can see how He did meet my need in unique ways. I would have loved to have gotten together on a regular basis with an older woman, but that has only happened once in my life–when I was in

college. After that, there was not really available in that way.

If you find yourself in a similar place, here are some things that you can do:

1. Pray for God to provide someone for you. It was God’s idea for older women to teach the younger women.

2. Ask for Him to help you see or hear the lessons He has for you as you are around older women. A friend of mine used to say, “You can learn something from everyone you are with. You can learn what you WANT to be like, or what you DON’T WANT to be like!” I have found that to be true.

For example: One woman wrote me and shared about an older woman who was willing to mentor her, but she was hesitant to meet with her because she had observed that she seemed to gossip a lot.

What has she learned from her?

She has learned that others are always watching you!

She has learned that she doesn’t want to be characterized as being a gossip!

She has learned that the older woman WAS willing to mentor. She was the only one who stepped up. Even if she may not be the one, she was willing!

But what is the truth?

We are all capable of being involved in gossip. The scripture tells us it is impossible to tame the tongue! (James 3) It is in your own heart to gossip. It is in all of our hearts. But you don’t want to be characterized as being one. Pray for the woman who is seen as a gossip, that she would see her sin. Pray that you would not fall into the same sin.

The fact that the older woman was willing says a lot about her heart. I would be careful not to label her only as a gossip…but as a woman who was also willing to take the time to mentor!

Look for lessons in those you are around. You might hear a woman talk to her husband a certain way. A lesson. You might observe a mom with her child. A lesson. Just observe. But try not to be too hard on people. We are all sinners in process of growing. We are all in need of Grace. If you see a sinful trait, pray for them and then look for evidence of God’s grace in their lives as well. Ask God if you might be the one to point out the area of sin in the other person’s life. Maybe they are blind to it. God may use you in their lives!

If you spend time with other couples, going to their homes for dinner or inviting them over, observe them. Learn. Ask good questions. Just this morning we went out with a couple from church and one of the questions they asked us was, “What is the greatest challenge that you are facing in your lives right now” It started a great discussion. Learn from other’s answers.

3. Read books written by older, godly women. God has used several older women/authors to mentor me! I have collected every book written by Elisabeth Elliot. I read everything I could get my hands on by her! I consider her to be one of my mentors, even though we have never met. Then, I bought as many books as I could by Amy Carmichael, because she was someone that Elisabeth Elliot read and considered to be a mentor.

I would lean towards reading books that are written by women who are older. Who have lived life. I know that younger women are learning and have much to share, but often what we share when we are younger can be information that is still “theory” in our lives. A woman who has lived life can share information that she has lived out for years, and the years often tend to sift out the information that isn’t really that vital.

I think mentoring can take on different “looks”. Observing. Reading. Spending time asking questions.

4. Invite some older couples over to your house for dinner or coffee. Show them that you value them. Honestly, as I have gotten older, it is hard to know sometimes if younger people even want me around. Sometimes I will hold back because of that. In my experience there are times when young people can send the message that they don’t need help, don’t want help, feel they have all the answers, or that I am clueless. It might help if you let them know, by reaching out, that you want to get to know and hear from older people.

If you have them in your home, you might be able to start up good conversations and ask specific questions. Ask them about their kids, or what they are reading for their quiet time…anything to get them to share and know that you are interested. You could even come right out and say, “I am young and have some questions, would you mind if I asked you something?” They may be shocked to know you even want their input!

Even now, I love seeking out people who are older than me and asking questions. It is so helpful. My pastors wife is one that I love to observe. She has too much on her plate for me to meet with her one on one, but she is always available. If I have a question, I e-mail her. If she can’t get together with me for coffee, she will either call me or e-mail me back. And she ALWAYS follows up with me and prays with me when I see her.

I have learned even more from her by observing her. First, she serves her husband and daughter. That is her priority. Then, she is very involved in serving her 3 grown children and their spouses and her grandchildren. On top of that she is a pastors wife. So she is busy serving and loving the people of the church.

I love to watch her move from one person to another as she checks in with them and prays with them. But I also have learned a lot when she has said, “I will have to get back with you in a few days. I am serving my family who has the flu….” She has shown me BY EXAMPLE what MY priority should be! I never feel put off. I only feel challenged to follow her example.

I understand the desire to have someone invest in you as a younger woman. It is a good desire. Keep praying for that. Then look for different ways God is meeting that need. You might be surprised what you find.

HAVE YOU BEEN SURPRISED BY THE MENTORS GOD HAS PLACED IN YOUR LIFE? ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A MENTOR NOW?

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The M.O.M. Initiative is a ministry devoted to taking Titus 2 to the streets and making mentoring intentionally missional…and as a way of help to support this ministry, The M.O.M. Initiative is offering an affiliate link that provides you with a great group of resources at a very low cost. SEE THE LIST BELOW to check out what you get for only $29.97! (A $640 Value)

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It is your responsibility to download and back-up your purchase within the 1-month download time-frame. With proof of purchase, we can renew download links up until August 1st, 2013. After this date we will no longer have access to the books and will not be able to provide any new links to download.
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Filed Under: Articles, Ideas & Resources, Gina Smith, MOM Stuff, Uncategorized Tagged With: Discipleship, Gina Smith, Mentor, Mentoring, Titus 2 1 Comment

A Letter to Younger Women

April 17, 2013 By Gina Smith

BEFORE WE DIVE INTO TODAY’S POST, WE WANT TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER OF RENEWED BY LUCILLE ZIMMERMAN…. CONGRATULATIONS GOES TO LEANNE THORNTON!

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Dear Younger Women,I am so thankful that God has brought you into my life. I love our times together, and cherish each moment we have. As we walk this journey together, there are things you need to know. I’d like take a few minutes to share some things with you:

Just because I am older, does not mean I have it all together. I am learning and growing too. Please don’t put me on a pedestal or expect me to be perfect. I will let you down. I don’t want to let you down…but I will. Much of mentoring is observing the lives of others. Watch me live, but please don’t expect to see perfection.
Women in my season of life face challenges too. Our children may be older, but they still weigh heavy on our hearts. Not only are we facing the challenges of having older children, and the fact that those precious people we have raised are now leaving our home, but we are also in a season of watching our parents age and pass away. It is a huge transition season. We are facing menopause. We get tired. We get emotional. We grow weary. We are watching our bodies age. Just because we are older, doesn’t mean that our life is easy. Please keep that in mind.
I am not your hope. Please don’t make me your focus or try to do everything my way. If I am a good mentor, I will constantly point you to God and challenge you to pray about how you should live your life. Just because I have done something a certain way, doesn’t mean it is the way you should be. God knows you better than I ever will. Seek my counsel, but always focus on God. He is your hope. I am not.
I cannot revolve my schedule around you. I love our time together, but I have a home, family and other responsibilities that I am called to. I am trying to be faithful to live my calling well. There are other people in my life who need my time. If I am late for a scheduled time together, or have to cancel, please be patient with me. I am doing the best I can to serve you, and many others at the same time.
Sometimes I have to say “No”. If there is a time that I cannot meet with you, or am not available for some reason, please don’t take it personally. My lack of time will never reflect my heart for you. I love you and desire to spend time with you, but there are going to be times it is just not possible. Sometimes my desire to serve others takes over, and I over commit myself. I don’t want to do that, but I do. Please pray for me that I would know how the Lord wants me to spend my time.
Let’s try to communicate in person or over the phone. My generation is not the texting generation. I love the option of texting, and have alot of fun with it, but I don’t want that to become our way of communicating. So much can be lost in a text. Misunderstandings can happen. Sometimes I forget to carry my phone, or don’t respond right away. Please take it at face value, and don’t take it personally.
I cannot read your mind. I don’t always know what you need. Please tell me. I will pray for you, be there as I am able, and do whatever I can to help you practically, and spiritually. But you have to let me know what you need. I will never purposefully neglect you, but I might miss something. I need you to be open with me.
Again, I am not your hope. Only God will meet your deepest needs at every level. My goal is to come along side you and strengthen you in God, so that when the day comes that I am not there, you will be depending on Him, and not me.

As I keep in mind that you are still young and learning, I strive to see you through eyes of grace, knowing you are in a process of growth and maturity. Please try to see me through that lens as well. I may not be young anymore, but I am still learning and maturing. I need to be seen through eyes of grace.

Thank you so much for allowing me to be a small part of your life.

Love,

An Older Woman

SUBSCRIBE to receive your FREE copy of Overwhelmed today!

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Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, Gina Smith, MOM Stuff, Uncategorized Tagged With: Mentees, Mentoring, Mentors 3 Comments

M.O.M. Mentor Groups Are Growing & the Monday M.O.M. Link Up

April 14, 2013 By themomin

With M.O.M. Mentor Groups in Africa, Indonesia, Canada, Australia and throughout the United States, we are seeing the Lord move in some powerful ways! Women mentoring women inside the church and in their communities.

It really is a beautiful thing and lives are being changed!

Here’s what we’ve recently heard from some moms and mentors:

From a mentor, “We’ve always wanted to start a mentoring ministry and this makes now we have one thanks to The M.O.M. Initiative!”

From a mom, “I live in a rural area of town and I desperately need a mentor! Are there any M.O.M. Mentor Groups in my area?”

From a mentor, “The stories help us relate to the moms and the questions at the end of each chapter give us the confidence to mentor.”

From a mentor, “My niece is mentoring three moms using Overwhelmed and they love it!”

From a mentor, “We will be doing the Overwhelmed during the Summer. Just today my sister-in-law called me in tears. I pointed her to the web-site and she said this is exactly what she has been needing and is not something she can get from her church. Thank you and your team for putting yourselves out there for Christ.”

From a mom, “I don’t feel like I’m the only mom going through what I’m going through. This is exactly what I needed!”

From a mentor in Indonesia, “Thank you so much for the books/PDF you’ve sent me! I am so happy receiving it. Thanks also for the permission to make copies. I also want to ask you for the permission to translate it to our language which is Indonesian.Indonesia has the 3rd largest population in the world and only 5 % are Christians.”

The M.O.M. Initiative is a ministry that exists to help the body of Christ not only establish effective mentoring ministries within the four walls of the church, but to also make mentoring intentionally missional and to impact the community around them.

If we reach the moms of this generation, we will reach the children of the next generation. If we don’t, we will lose them all.

Through our FREE PDF’s Facing our Fears and Overwhelmed, we have provided a 6 week experience with 31 stories from real moms who have walked in the shoes of the fearful and overwhelmed mom and found hope, healing and victory through walking with God and applying biblical truths to everyday life.

In Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., they share their stories.

Facing Our Fears ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M. and Overwhelmed~ 31 Stories from M.O.M. give mentors the tools, the confidence and the support they need to boldly step into their Titus 2 shoes and nurture those mentor/mentee relationships.

In Overwhelmed, each story includes reflective questions specifically designed to serve as conversation prompts and help foster the mentor/mentee relationship as you navigate the life of an overwhelmed mom together.

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

Schedule a time and place to meet weekly for six weeks.
You and the mentee(s) will read through 5 stories and be prepared when you meet together each week.
As a mentor, you can rest in knowing, this biblically-based resource includes questions at the end of each story that are specifically designed to be a catalyst for conversation. This will give you, as a mentor, the confidence to know you won’t have to worry about that awkward silence that would normally leave you scrambling for something to say.
The questions are also written to help you, as a mentor, reflect on your own story and share your failures as well as your successes with the kind of sincere transparency that will assure your mentee that she is not alone and that her mentor isn’t Pinterest perfect either.
Your time together is a tool to nurture a relationship that will hopefully last long past the book.

Need some ideas as to where you can become intentionally missional about mentoring?

Churches, para-minisitries, MOPS groups, MOMS Club International and individuals can use Overwhelmed as a mentoring tool to not only mentor moms within the church, but to go beyond her four walls and minister to moms in low income apartment complexes, neighborhoods, crisis pregnancy centers, homeless shelters, juvenile shelters and wherever moms can be found.

BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and begin to change the world, one mom at a time!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO COME SHARE HOW TO START a M.O.M. MENTOR GROUP in your church or if you are looking for a speaker to encourage mentoring, please check out our “Book a M.O.M. to Speak” page or email Stephanie at stephanies@themominitiative.com.

We’d love to hear from you! Any questions? Comments? And if you’ve started a M.O.M. Mentor Group, we’d love to hear your story!

By: Stephanie Shott

Filed Under: Articles, Ideas & Resources, MOM Stuff, Stephanie Shott 2 Comments

How to Help Infertile Women

March 13, 2013 By Angela Mackey

Infertility.

About one in six women are dealing with infertility. It is isolating, confusing, painful, and can rock the faith of its sufferer.

And those on the outside looking in, well they want to help, but don’t know how. Awkward silences and taboo topics strain relationships.

How do you mentor or be a friend to someone dealing with infertility?

Be there for them. One of the best things a friend said to me was, “I don’t understand what you are going through, but I am here for you.” And she was. She went to doctors appointments with me, prayed with me, and let me have bad days.
Be honest, but don’t avoid them. It is ok to say “I don’t know what to say.” However it is not ok to avoid all mention of their struggle or to avoid their friendship.
Be aware of what you are saying. It is ok to say, “Can I tell you about my kids?” Just don’t get hurt if she needs to say no at that point. Infertile women want to have relationships with people who have kids or are pregnant. They understand you want to tell them about your kids, but some days it may be too difficult for them. Give your friend the opportunity to hear about your kids or not.
Listen. Before I struggled with infertility I had all kinds of opinions about how I would handle infertility if I had to deal with it. If I had the chance I would have spewed that wonderful advice to any one else too. Unless you are asked directly please keep your opinions to yourself.
Pray for and with her. This is a dark difficult time for the woman dealing with infertility. So pray for her and if she is open to pray with her. Pray for God to give her wisdom, to open her womb, for peace in the struggle, and for God’s glory in the midst of the darkness.
Please do not say: “You just need to relax.” “Maybe if you adopt you will get pregnant. That happened to my cousin…” “Don’t worry so much.” “Maybe God is punishing you for past sin.” “Be happy with the kids you do have.” All these things are meant to encourage or help, but just don’t.

Mentoring or being a friend to someone dealing with infertility is not rocket science, but it does take grace on both sides. Also consider looking at Janet Thompson‘s book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have A Baby. This is a great resource for both those suffering with infertility and mentors/friends wanting to understand how to help them.

As a mentor what questions do you have about supporting women facing infertility?

As a woman dealing with infertility what do you want others to know?

by Angela Mackey

Filed Under: Angela Mackey, Articles, Ideas & Resources, Mentors, MOMs at Heart Tagged With: how to be a friend to an infertile woman, how to help a friend dealing with infertility, how to help an infertile friend, how to help an infertile woman, infertility, mentoring an infertile woman 4 Comments

Dancing with Nana

January 23, 2013 By themomin

By Guest: Michelle Lazurek

“Nana, do you know how to dance?” At age seven, I longed to glide gracefully across a dance floor and envisioned myself doing so in a long, flowing dress.

She chuckled to herself and answered, “We moved a little differently than you kids do today, but all dancing begins with a few basic steps.”

“Can you show me? Please?”

I knew Nana, one of the most important people in my life, would never refuse my request. Because she lived in the adjacent house, I spent more time with her than just about anyone. I fondly remember going over to her house to have dinner on Sunday evenings. When Nana strolled into the kitchen, she’d lift the lid and let me inhale the steam from the garlic infused potatoes and peered into the oven to watch the moist droplets of roast beef drip into the underlying pan.

During the summer, I would sleep over at Nana’s. I remember packing my things, tucking a box of Frosted Flakes cereal under my arm and making the long trek next door. I loved spending my weekends there, watching while Nana finished her crossword puzzle at the kitchen table. Occasionally, we rocked slowly back and forth in matching rocking chairs as we enjoyed the cool breeze of late summer. We talked for hours about whatever was on my mind. And sometimes we sat silently, merely enjoying each other’s company. She taught me a lot about how the world works—how to sew on a button or the magic of putting ketchup on my scrambled eggs. And on one of these carefree summer days I asked her to teach me to dance.

Nana bounced her wiry frame over to me and asked me to stand in the middle of the kitchen floor. “I’ll show you the box step. Put you hand on my waist here.” She grabbed my hand and placed it on her right hip and clasped my other hand in hers lifting it above her head.

We began to dance. I placed my left foot to my left, then in front of me, then the right, then back to where I started. I slid my finger across the back of her hand, noticing prominent wrinkles firmly embedded in the leathery exterior. Nana hummed a made-up tune as our movements became swifter, keeping time by repeating the same four words: One two three four.

And so we danced, the minutes slipping away, enjoying each other’s company, pushing toward the same goal, delighting in the joy of our rhythms.

One two three four.

The mentoring relationship works much the same as dancing. Two people draw together, invited into each other’s space. One leads the other, going through the motions in an effort to dance. Awkward at first, each one gives and takes in order to create the rhythm, each person taking a turn at being the leader, and then being led. Slowly, as the partners practice together and commit to the dance, their movements become one, and dance in time to the beat of the music that is their spiritual journey. The Lord yearns to cut in, inviting you to His dance.

My Nana, My Mentor

My nana played an important part of my life. Most of my most relished childhood memories include her. In addition to teaching me about life, she also had an incredible hand in my spiritual formation. Every week she took me to church, where I was introduced to God. Although my theology has changed quite a bit over the years, she instilled in me the value of consistent church attendance and the importance of being part of a church community. As a pastor’s wife and church planter, this love for the church has fueled me and spurred me on toward love and good deeds (see Hebrews 10:24–25). If it were not for my relationship with my nana, I might not be the person I am today.

The mentoring relationship is the same as dancing. The leader, who has a basic knowledge of the rhythmic timing and format of the dance, leads another or—in our culture of support groups and small groups—others as they learn how to dance. On occasion, these people step on each others’ toes and prevent each other from learning the dance. But in the same way as I allowed my nana to lead me, the apprentices of the group submit to the leader, who, in turn, dances with them until they have refined all aspects of the dance. Soon, each member is gliding along the dance floor, the timing and rhythm of each movement executed flawlessly in one fluid movement.

Think about the relationships in your own life. Which ones have shaped you into the person you are today? Are you still in contact with any of those people? What does the relationship look like today? Do you impact others’ lives as those people have influenced yours? As God brings to mind the lessons you have learned from those experiences, pray about who might benefit from those lessons in your own life.

I want to encourage you to find someone who needs mentoring. This can be anyone—from the woman behind the coffee shop counter to the person sitting next to you at church. Mentoring is the key by which disciples are made. If a master doesn’t pass on his knowledge and expertise to a willing apprentice, the next generation will not be equipped to carry on the legacy that came before her. All of us have stories that have influenced us, experiences that have shaped us, both positively and negatively.

Someone in your life is waiting to dance. Will you invite her to join you?

A bit about Michelle:

Michelle S. Lazurek is a pastor’s wife, author, speaker and proud She Speaks Graduate. She empowers people to live out the stories God has written for their lives. Her first book Becoming the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved: Discover your Character in God’s Love Story and her blog can be found at www.michellelazurek.com

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Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, MOM Stuff, Uncategorized Tagged With: Mentees, Mentoring, Mentors, Titus 2 1 Comment

5 Types of Mentees That Drive Mentors Crazy & 1 MORE GIVEAWAY & SIGN UP to LEAD A M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP

January 11, 2013 By themomin

**We had a GREAT TIME with Lisa Shaw on her radio show, The Whole Woman, yesterday! If you weren’t able to join us, you can click the link, pop over and take a listen now.**

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AND THE WINNERS OF YESTERDAY’S GIVEAWAYS ARE…

Understanding What Matters Most by Stephanie Shott ~ Jenn

$50 gift card to Artfire shop http://kraftymax.artfire.com ~(http://www.facebook.com/kraftymaxoriginals) ~ Rebecca (a new email subscriber)

AND DON’T FORGET…

OVERWHELMED is NOW available for ALL subscribers! BUT you can also SIGN UP to START a M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP IN YOUR AREA.

CLICK HERE and let THE MENTORING BEGIN!

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AND…HERE IS TODAY’S GIVEAWAY…

(ENTER TO WIN TODAY’S GIVEAWAY BY SUBSCRIBING OR COMMENTING)

$25 AMAZON Giftcard

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And now for another fun and quirky post by Stephanie Shott:

Yesterday, I shared five types of mentors that drive a mentee crazy, but the reverse can be just as true!

When a mentor/mentee relationship is not a match made in heaven, it can be exasperating for a mentor who spends time praying and preparing for a sweet mom just because she sincerely loves her and longs to help her in her journey.

Today, we’re going to share a few ways a mentee can drive a mentor crazy:

1. MISS “I’VE GOT THIS” ~ The mentee who doesn’t think she needs any help, doesn’t want to accept your help and is either too brave for her britches or not wise enough to know she really does need help.

She’s the young mom who is either trying to be all and do all and measure up to those Pinterest Perfect moms who don’t really exist, or the one who is oblivious to how important her role as a mother is and how much value there is in learning from those who have walked that road before.

She wants it to appear as if she has everything under control, but her heart is on overload and she doesn’t realize the road ahead is not going to get any easier.

You try to help her but she constantly says, “I’ve got this!” You don’t want to give up on her because you know she definitely doesn’t have it all together. You pray she realizes it soon.

2. UNRELIABLE LUCY ~ The mentee who is never on time, never prepared, and always has an excuse.

She’s the mom who doesn’t know how to handle life and so life handles her. She lacks motivation but uses a lack of discipline as her excuse. “I just can’t get there on time!” “I didn’t have time to read this week!” “I tried to work on the budget you were helping me with, but I just ran out of time!”

You try to just ignore her excuses and do what you can with the little time she gives you. She doesn’t value your time, your energy, your passion to help her or your prayers.

You see so much potential, but the sad thing is, she doesn’t. She won’t take charge or responsibility for her life and so she continues to drift.

Each week, you hope she makes some baby steps, but you see her slipping through your fingers and it breaks your heart.

3. OVER ZEALOUS ZELDA ~ The mentee who is over zealous and definitely over caffeinated. She is SO excited to see you and SO anxious to dive in that she makes you SO nervous it’s hard to think.

She’s the passionate people pleaser who wears you out just being around her. She’s as precious as she can be, but a bit needy, and she has a hard time staying still long enough to listen.

In fact, she reminds you of Tiger, from Whinnie the Pooh.

You LOVE her enthusiasm. She’s always on time – always prepared. You just aren’t quiet sure if she can calm down long enough to have a constructive conversation with her. When you try, she’s all over the place.

Never confident, always antsy and frequently eager, Over Zealous Zelda keeps you on the edge of your seat and makes you wonder if something you say is going to send her on a tangent.

She doesn’t really listen very well. She has a tendency to take what you say and somehow misinterpret it, then wonders why things didn’t work out.

You love mentoring her, but you don’t know if you can keep up her pace and you constantly wonder if what you share is bouncing off the walls in her head.

4. DAYDREAMER DEBBIE ~ The mentee that can’t seem to pay attention to any conversation you may try to have with her. It’s like you’re invisible. You’re talking, but nobody is home.

We all know people who may be present physically, but mentally, they have checked out. Sometimes they try to appear to be interested. Other times, they really don’t care if you know they’re not.

Their minds are always meandering and their hearts are far away.

She’s distant, detached and aloof.

She makes conversations awkward and walks in the room with a wall around her heart.

You want to continue to mentor her but you realize that she’s completely uninterested in having any type of relationship except the ones she deems valuable. You wish she knew how much you love her and want to share the load of mommy-hood with her, but she really doesn’t care.

5. MISS “BLESS ME IF YOU CAN!” ~ She has no intentions of listening to anything you say and honestly thinks you have nothing to offer.

She thinks you are wasting her time and she is only there because she feels like she has to be. Her church has a mentor ministry and she wants to look good, so she signs up with no intention of really growing in a relationship with an older mom.

She thinks she knows everything and you couldn’t possibly relate to where she is and what she is going through. And you certainly couldn’t give her help or encouragement. You’re too old.

She constantly checks her phone while you’re talking and even stops you mid-sentence to text message a friend.

You long to have a relationship with her, but she’s really completely uninterested. You know her strong personality can be something to help her through life, but you also know it might just be her downfall.

So, there you have it. Five types of mentees that drive mentors crazy.

We all know that there is such beauty in mentor/mentee relationship! It’s beautiful because it’s what God has called us to.

Sometimes it comes naturally…often unintentionally. But other times it must be intentionally if it is to be, at all.

It’s not easy. It’s seldom convenient and it’s often challenging. But mentoring a mom will not only make a difference in her life, it will impact her children as well.

A mentor and a mentee who respect one another and who enter into a relationship with sincerity…well, that really is a life-altering and beautiful thing!

How about you? Have you ever been one of these types of mentees? Have you ever tried to mentor a mentee that was like one of the five types of mentees listed above? Share your mentee nightmare?

Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, MOM Stuff, Stephanie Shott Tagged With: Mentoring, Mentors 14 Comments

5 Types of Mentors That Drive Mentees Crazy & 2 MORE GIVEAWAYS & SIGN UP to LEAD A M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP

January 10, 2013 By themomin

TODAY at 11 a.m, six of the M.O.M.s from the The M.O.M. Initiative team will be on Lisa Shaw’s Radio Show, The Whole Woman!!! We all LOVE Lisa Shaw… founder and host of The Whole Woman! PLEASE JOIN US at 11:00 a.m. Eastern time!

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AND THE WINNERS OF YESTERDAY’S GIVEAWAYS ARE…

Just Too Busy PLUS the Leader’s Guide by Joanne Kraft ~ Teri Lynn Hatcher
Making Money from Home by Donna Partow ~ Melinda T

AND DON’T FORGET…

OVERWHELMED is NOW available for ALL subscribers! BUT you can also SIGN UP to START a M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP IN YOUR AREA.

CLICK HERE and let THE MENTORING BEGIN!

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AND…HERE ARE TODAY’S GIVEAWAYS…

(ENTER TO WIN ONE OF TODAY’S GIVEAWAYS BY SUBSCRIBING OR COMMENTING)

Understanding What Matters Most

by Stephanie Shott

$50 gift card to Artfire shop http://kraftymax.artfire.com

(http://www.facebook.com/kraftymaxoriginals)

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And now for today’s fun and quirky post by Stephanie Shott:

Let’s face it, not all mentor/mentee relationships were made in heaven. Some can be tough. At times personalities don’t gel. That’s human nature and a wise mentor will see that she’s not the girl for the job and gently remove herself while trying to replace herself at the same time.

There’s something beautiful about a mentor/mentee relationship that works, but that doesn’t always happen.

It’s like a ship that sets sail with two people on it. Sometimes they enjoy the ride, other times they’re ready to throw each other overboard.

At times, the mentee is to blame. Other times, it’s the mentor who is responsible for mucking up the mentor waters and making a mentee want to throw her overboard. And then there are times when it’s just not working for either of them and it’s really no one’s fault.

Today, we’re going to share a few ways in which a mentor can blow it with a mentee:

1. SMARTY-PANTS BULLY ~ The Mentor Momma who KNOWS EVERYTHING and for some reason, she always seems ANGRY ~

If you’ve ever been around someone who thinks she has all the answers and comes across like she’s ready to bite your head off, you know exactly what I’m talking about. She’s intimidating… daunting. She makes you feel like you can never do anything right and you certainly don’t want to ask Mrs. Know-It-All any questions.

Every time she leaves, you wonder why in the world she would ever mentor a mother and you hope she decides you’re wasting her time so she won’t come back.

You’d tell her you don’t want her to come back yourself, but the thought of doing that scares the bajeebers out of you.

Like the bully in grade school, she thinks she knows everything and always acts like she’s mad at you.

2. NOSY NELLIE ~ The Mentor Momma who seems to think she has to have her nose in your business in order to be a good mentor.

We’ve all known someone who thought her job was to mind your business instead of her own. The one who asks probing and personal questions that catch you off guard leave you feeling very uncomfortable.

She makes you wonder if what you tell her will be held in confidence because she spends most of your time together talking about other people.

You begin to avoid spending time with her because she’s so stinkin’ nosy. Finally, you find yourself leaving the house before she gets there to run an ‘emergency’ errand so you can miss your scheduled time with her.

Like the nosy high school friend you avoided, Nosy Nellie has a knack for running people off and then wonders why no one wants to spend any time with her.

3. LOUSY LISTENER ~ The Mentor Momma who is there to tell you about all her troubles and leaves you wondering if she will ever be quiet.

We all know it’s not easy to be around someone who is so busy talking about themselves that they never stop long enough to listen. They’re relentless and they drive you crazy! All you can think of is, “Could someone PLEASE stop her!”

She really doesn’t have any interest in mentoring you. She is there to talk. And talk. And talk.

You start fidgeting in your chair and waiting for the second she stops long enough to catch her breath so you can tell her that you need to go to the grocery store, or take the dog to the vet, or get to your doctor’s appointment…something, anything to get away from the non-stop rambling.

You thought she was there to mentor you, but she’s a lousy listener who would rather talk your ear off than take time to listen to the one she should be ministering to.

4. DOUBLE TROUBLE ~ The Mentor Momma who thinks she needs to bring in reinforcements and gang up on you to get her point across.

You know her. She’s the one who can’t be just ONE. She seems to have the need to bring someone else into your very personal conversation and makes you feel like you’re being battered by both of them.

She told you everything would be confidential and then she shows up with someone else to tell you twice what she has already told you once.

She’s like the girl in high school who always had to have other girls around to validate her. When you see her coming, you know it’s really double trouble because someone else will be with her to mimic what she says. So you try to avoid her like the plague.

5. EXCUSE MAKING MOMMA ~ The Mentor Momma who has an excuse for everything. She tends to run late, isn’t prepared, doesn’t have her act together and constantly makes excuses for herself.

We all have friends like this. They leave you waiting at Starbucks for 30 minutes and when they get there, they give you the same excuse as they gave you last week.

They told you to read through chapters 1 through 5 of Overwhelmed and you did. But when she arrives she lays out a list of excuses as to why she couldn’t come prepared.

She doesn’t have any problems making plans. She just can’t seem to keep them. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t remember the plans she makes.

It’s always someone else’s fault that she struggles with being unorganized. It’s always someone else’s fault that she lost her keys or loses her temper.

She’s like your little brother who loved to play the blame game and point his fingers at you. She’s an excuse making momma and she simply wears you out with her excuses.

So, there you have it. Five types of mentors that drive mentees crazy.

The mentor/mentee relationship is really such a beautiful thing. It is meant to strengthen both the mentor and the mentee. It’s a pouring out and a drinking in. Two women doing life together. Maybe not forever. Perhaps just for a season.

But it’s a journey the two take together. Laughing together, crying together, praying together and doing life together.

That, sweet sister, is what mentoring is all about.

And when it works, there’s nothing like it.

And when it doesn’t, it’s not time to give up on the wonders of a Titus 2 relationship. It’s just time to find a new Titus 2 mentor or time for the Titus 2 mentor to be a woman whose footprints are worth following.

Do you have any mentoring horror stories? Would you be a mentor that would fall in any of the 5 categories above? How can you make sure you’re leaving footprints worth following?

Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, MOM Stuff, Stephanie Shott Tagged With: Mentees, Mentors 14 Comments

Begin a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group In Your Area

January 6, 2013 By themomin

YOU CAN GET OVERWHELMED FREE BY SUBSCRIBING TO OUR WEBSITE. IT’S OUR GIFT TO YOU…THE OVERWHELMED MOM.

But you can also begin A M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and use Overwhelmed as a FREE resource to mentor another mother.

You see, NOW, more than ever, moms need mentoring mommas who are willing to share the gift of themselves!

NOW, more than ever, Titus 2 mommas are ready to step up to the plate and pour their lives into moms!

YOU CAN BE PART OF THE REVOLUTION

OF WOMEN WHO ARE READY AND WILLING TO

TAKE TITUS 2 TO THE STREETS!

BEGIN a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in your area and begin to change the world, one mom at a time!

We have provided a 6 week experience with 31 stories from real moms who have walked in the shoes of the overwhelmed mom and found hope, healing and victory through walking with God and applying biblical truths to everyday life.

In Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., they share their stories.

Overwhelmed is coming out on January 7th and it is our gift to the body of Christ…a FREE resource to help you begin or expand your mentoring ministry. Like Facing Our Fears ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M., Overwhelmed gives mentors the tools, the confidence and the support they need to boldly step into their Titus 2 shoes and nurture those mentor/mentee relationships.

THIS IS OUR GENERATION to make a difference for such a time as this.

The M.O.M. Initiative is here for you. To be a “mentoring hub” of sorts. A place where mentors can find resources and support and share their information, so that young moms in search of a mentor can find a mentor in their area, as well as the support and encouragement they need.

NOW IS THE TIME! WILL YOU JOIN THE REVOLUTION OF WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING AND READY TO PUT THEMSELVES OUT THERE AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

SIGN UP TODAY and you will receive Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M. when it comes out on January 7th.

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

Schedule a time and place to meet weekly for six weeks.
You and the mentee will read through 5 stories each week and be prepared when you meet together each week.
As a mentor, you can rest in knowing, this biblically-based resource includes questions at the end of each story that are specifically designed to be a catalyst for conversation. This will give you, as a mentor, the confidence to know you won’t have to worry about that awkward silence that would normally leave you scrambling for something to say.
The questions are also written to help you, as a mentor, reflect on your own story and share your failures as well as your successes with the kind of sincere transparency that will assure your mentee that she is not alone and that her mentor isn’t Pinterest perfect either.
Your time together is a tool to nurture a relationship that will hopefully last long past the book.

Need some ideas as to where you can become intentionally missional about mentoring?

Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, MOM Stuff, Stephanie Shott, Uncategorized Tagged With: Begin a M.O.M. Initiative Group, Mentees, Mentoring, Mentors

Help Lead an OVERWHELMED Study & Begin a M.O.M. Initiative Group In Your Church or Ministry

January 5, 2013 By themomin

The emails keep coming…

“I would love, love, love to be a mentor! How do I go about it?”
I would like to know how I can go about signing up for a mentor. I am a single mom and would love to have a mentor.
“Do you have groups that meet in churches and if so how would we go about opening ours to do that?”
“What an amazing, wonderful, idea I sure wish something like this had been around when I younger. I am a grandma to 10 and mother to 4. Please let me know what I do next. God bless you for starting this. I am praying now for all those mentor.”
“I’m the president of a local MOPS group and a state coordinator for MOMS Club international and I will be using ‘Facing Our Fears’ with some moms at our MOPS group.”

Emails reflecting that there is definitely a resurgence of Titus 2 women ready to step into their God-given mentoring shoes.

Emails asking if there is a sweet mentor mom in their area who can help them in their journey as a mom. Many are overwhelmed with it all, some just long for the wisdom an older mom can give.

It’s a beautiful thing when women rise up and willingly and lovingly pour their lives into the lives of other mothers and begin not only impacting those moms for Christ, but impacting the generations that are to follow.

But many have felt like they lacked resources and support.

Maybe you’ve felt that way too.

BUT THIS IS OUR TIME TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS GENERATION.

The M.O.M. Initiative is asking you to SIGN UP and begin a M.O.M. Initiative group in your church, ministry or as an individual mentor.

Our goal is to bridge the gap between a mom’s need for a mentor and the church’s need for resources and support.

To be a hub for mentors, churches, ministries and moms to connect with one another and WE ARE ASKING YOU TO LINK HEARTS AND HANDS AND CHANGE THE WORLD ONE MOM AT A TIME.

Overwhelmed ~ 31 Stories from M.O.M. is coming out on Monday, January 7th and it is our gift to the church, to ministries and to mentors who are looking to begin or expand their mentoring ministries.

Overwhelmed provides a six week study with five stories each week. Each story includes reflective questions specifically designed to serve as conversation prompts and help foster the mentor/mentee relationship as you navigate the life of an overwhelmed mom together.

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

Schedule a time and place to meet weekly for six weeks.
You and the mentee will read through 5 stories each week and be prepared when you meet together each week.
As a mentor, you can rest in knowing, this biblically-based resource includes questions at the end of each story that are specifically designed to be a catalyst for conversation. This will give you, as a mentor, the confidence to know you won’t have to worry about that awkward silence that would normally leave you scrambling for something to say.
The questions are also written to help you, as a mentor, reflect on your own story and share your failures as well as your successes with the kind of sincere transparency that will assure your mentee that she is not alone and that her mentor isn’t Pinterest perfect either.
Your time together is a tool to nurture a relationship that will hopefully last long past the book.

This is a great mentoring tool for churches, MOPS groups, MOMS Club International and other ministries. The body of Christ can make mentoring intentionally missional by taking Titus 2 to the streets and using this FREE resource in low income neighborhoods, apartment complexes, women’s shelters, crisis pregnancy centers, homeless shelters, juvenile shelters, prisons and wherever young moms can be found.

IF YOU, YOUR CHURCH OR YOUR MINISTRY are ready to start or expand your mentoring ministry, we would like to help. SIGN UP TO RECEIVE OVERWHELMED and we will list your church or organization on our online directory, making it easy for moms who are looking for mentors to locate a M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Group in their area.

ALL SUBSCRIBERS WILL RECEIVE A FREE COPY OF OVERWHELMED ~ 31 STORIES FROM M.O.M.

BUT, if you’d like to sign up to lead an OVERWHELMED study and begin a M.O.M. Initiative Group in your area, please click this link.

Be part of the revolution and lets change the world…ONE. MOM. AT. A. TIME!

Filed Under: Articles & Resources, Articles, Ideas & Resources, MOM Stuff, Stephanie Shott, Uncategorized Leave a Comment

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Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO COME SHARE HOW TO START a M.O.M. MENTOR GROUP in your church or if you are looking for a speaker to encourage mentoring, please check out our “Book a M.O.M. to Speak” page or email Stephanie at stephanies@themominitiative.com.

We had a GREAT TIME with Lisa Shaw on her radio show, The Whole Woman, yesterday! If you weren’t able to join us, you can click the link, pop over and take a listen now.

Understanding What Matters Most by Stephanie Shott ~ Jenn

$50 gift card to Artfire shop http://kraftymax.artfire.com ~(http://www.facebook.com/kraftymaxoriginals) ~ Rebecca (a new email subscriber)

AND DON’T FORGET…

OVERWHELMED is NOW available for ALL subscribers! BUT you can also SIGN UP to START a M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP IN YOUR AREA.

CLICK HERE and let THE MENTORING BEGIN!

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1. MISS “I’VE GOT THIS” ~ The mentee who doesn’t think she needs any help, doesn’t want to accept your help and is either too brave for her britches or not wise enough to know she really does need help.

2. UNRELIABLE LUCY ~ The mentee who is never on time, never prepared, and always has an excuse.

3. OVER ZEALOUS ZELDA ~ The mentee who is over zealous and definitely over caffeinated. She is SO excited to see you and SO anxious to dive in that she makes you SO nervous it’s hard to think.

4. DAYDREAMER DEBBIE ~ The mentee that can’t seem to pay attention to any conversation you may try to have with her. It’s like you’re invisible. You’re talking, but nobody is home.

5. MISS “BLESS ME IF YOU CAN!” ~ She has no intentions of listening to anything you say and honestly thinks you have nothing to offer.

TODAY at 11 a.m, six of the M.O.M.s from the The M.O.M. Initiative team will be on Lisa Shaw’s Radio Show, The Whole Woman!!! We all LOVE Lisa Shaw… founder and host of The Whole Woman! PLEASE JOIN US at 11:00 a.m. Eastern time!

OVERWHELMED is NOW available for ALL subscribers! BUT you can also SIGN UP to START a M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP IN YOUR AREA.

CLICK HERE and let THE MENTORING BEGIN!

Understanding What Matters Most

by Stephanie Shott

$50 gift card to Artfire shop http://kraftymax.artfire.com

(http://www.facebook.com/kraftymaxoriginals)

1. SMARTY-PANTS BULLY ~ The Mentor Momma who KNOWS EVERYTHING and for some reason, she always seems ANGRY ~

2. NOSY NELLIE ~ The Mentor Momma who seems to think she has to have her nose in your business in order to be a good mentor.

3. LOUSY LISTENER ~ The Mentor Momma who is there to tell you about all her troubles and leaves you wondering if she will ever be quiet.

4. DOUBLE TROUBLE ~ The Mentor Momma who thinks she needs to bring in reinforcements and gang up on you to get her point across.

5. EXCUSE MAKING MOMMA ~ The Mentor Momma who has an excuse for everything. She tends to run late, isn’t prepared, doesn’t have her act together and constantly makes excuses for herself.

YOU CAN BE PART OF THE REVOLUTION

OF WOMEN WHO ARE READY AND WILLING TO

TAKE TITUS 2 TO THE STREETS!

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

Here’s a brief look at what a mentoring ministry might look like for you:

ALL SUBSCRIBERS WILL RECEIVE A FREE COPY OF OVERWHELMED ~ 31 STORIES FROM M.O.M.

BUT, if you’d like to sign up to lead an OVERWHELMED study and begin a M.O.M. Initiative Group in your area, please click this link.

Be part of the revolution and lets change the world…ONE. MOM. AT. A. TIME!

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**We had a GREAT TIME with Lisa Shaw on her radio show, The Whole Woman, yesterday! If you weren’t able to join us, you can click the link, pop over and take a listen now.**