Packing a Young Person’s Heart

Last Friday we took our daughter on a college visit. Serene lawns and still hallways echoed the time  year:  Spring Break. As we toured the campus, thoughts about our sweet girl’s future exploded in my mind like kernels in an air popper. I longed to see some students as evidence that when kids grow up they’re okay. But they were on Spring Break.

Inside the dorms, our guide was kind (bold? crazy?) enough to show us several rooms where it looked like the Rapture had taken place. Books, guitars, clothes, pizza pans, and shoes littered the floors and beds. There wasn’t a single suitcase or student in the dorms; they were gone. To where? Home? Daytona Beach? Mission trips?

Wherever their destination, the journey is one of growing independence and decision making. It’s a time of learning how the path we choose determines our destination. I doubt any of the young adults who ate the pizza from the dirty pan were thinking about that when they made their escape, but I’m a MOM. It’s what we do. They just went on “Spring Break.”

Last week we talked about Parenting Teens Through Spring Break. Since it’s a time of life full of discovery, danger, and a wisdom deficit, parents need to step up and get the conversation flowing with their teenagers!

How can we get young people ready for independent events, whether it’s a missions trip to Guatemala, camp this summer, or (God forbid!) a weekend in Vegas? What’s a mom to do?  It’s not a new question. The Psalmist asked in Psalm 119:9.  “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.”

When it comes time to let our kids venture out on their own (getting US & them ready for the future!), we can still influence them. We can help kids keep their way of life pure and live it like God’s word instructs. It’s all about the packing.

Tips for Packing a Heart    We make sure they have money, sunscreen, rules, and air in their tires, but how about more significant supplies?

  • Prayer – on your own and WITH them before they leave
  • Spiritual food – Give them a gift to feed their mind and heart. Jeff just gave our kids a copy of Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman. I love to give great missions stories like Peace Child by Don Richardson.
  • Fast – How badly do you long for your kids to guard their way? Fast intentionally about their need for wisdom and growth.
  • Music – Be sure they have spirit-filled music to listen to that will steer their thoughts. This makes a great trip gift.
  • Reminders – Be discreet, but don’t hesitate to send a text, tuck a note, or pack a little gift conveying “Praying for you” or some carefully chosen Biblical words of blessing.
  • Memorize – Challenge your student to memorize a verse in anticipation of time on their own. If your children are young, check out these tips from Do Not Depart about how to memorize with kids.

Tips for UNpacking a Heart    When their time away is over, it’s easy to focus on the laundry, any money that’s left, and other “clean up” tasks. Take time to unpack their heart.

  • Listen – to their stories about what was fun, what excited them, what they discovered, and what inspired them. Resist the urge to correct, gasp, or reprimand here. Just listen.
  • Look – If they have pictures, sit down and look at their pictures. Let them share the details. Learn about your changing child by seeing events through their eyes.
  • Serve – That mountain of laundry won’t do itself. A wise mom lets her child learn the valuable journey piece of “cleaning up,” but she’ll reinforce the love bond if she helps.

“How can young people keep their way pure?”  It’s a great question to ask when kids venture out on their own. Let’s help them pack their hearts for the journey.

By Julie Sanders

 

PinterestShare

Parenting Teens thru Spring Break

What will your teen do over Spring Break? Maybe you’re in the sippy cup years,  looking ahead with fear and trembling to the Facebook years. How can we watch out for our teens in today’s world?

Last night I feel asleep to the sound of laughter drifting upstairs from young women in our basement. Two are on the threshold of college;  two others are are signed up for the ACT. All are counting the days ’til spring break. If the teen years are such a vibrant time of life, why do we dread parenting through it? You can prepare yourself and your teen for the discovery and the dangers of this risk-taking time of life.

Season of Discovery

The young adult season is one of discovery. In Tim Elmore’s iYGeneration, he shares that teens prefer the company of peers, and “Their basis for making decisions is more relational than logical” (p.49).  This vibrant season of life is largely driven by friends, which can open doors for new experiences and social bonding, but it can also open Pandora’s box. Elmore says the average teen spends about $100 per week, which makes sense, since “They don’t want to do anything halfway” (p.136).  (By the way, I’m hiding this fact from my 2 teens!!)  With spring break right around the corner for discovery-hungry teens, parents should know a few facts reported in the October 2011 issue of National Geographic:

Season of Danger

  • the greatest risk takers of any age group are in the 14-17 yr old category
  • kids in the 15-25 yr old age group die of accidents of all kinds at high rates
  • most alcohol and drug abuse starts in adolescence
  • 1 in 3 teenage deaths are from car accidents

At the same time young people embrace discovery about themselves, the world, and people, they face potential danger. Instead of weighing risks based on logic and wisdom, teens are first likely to consider how their choices will impact their relationships. To be left out or unaccepted relationally spells disaster to a teenager. The cost of preferring relationships over risk can high, even deadly.

Wisdom Deficit

Parents with children in the Facebook and drivers license years must not be fooled. Times like spring break pose a challenge for young people to enjoy discovery and navigate the dangers. The teen years come with a wisdom deficit. No matter what they say or what they may appear to want, teens still need parents in their lives. Don’t let shaggy hair, rolling eyes, or text language discourage you; step up and fill the wisdom deficit.

 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind” (James 1:5-6).   Teens are in desperate need of mothers who will confidently beg God for wisdom on their behalf and then let it flow to their growing young adult.

Conversation Flow

Got teens? It’s a season of discovery and danger, packaged in a deficit of wisdom. They may be bigger and hungrier and bolder, but they desperately need you, sweet mom! Let conversation flow!

  • Let the conversation flow in prayer to your own Heavenly Father; “If anyone lacks wisdom,” ASK!
  • Let the conversation flow in relationship with your teen.
  •           Chat in a coffee shop or other place “on their turf.”
  •           Ask a few, good questions and then listen.
  •           Don’t talk too much; it isn’t a lecture.
  •           Let them know you like them and love them.

Some colleges are already out for Spring Break. Two teens in my house are counting the days here.  Many kids will head out to the beach or to travel with friends. It’s never been more challenging to be a young adult. Let’s step up and ask for some wisdom to pour into the teenagers in our lives!

 More Encouragement for Parents of Teens

Some other posts I’ve shared to help prepare students for SPRING Break & life’s challenges:

 By Julie Sanders

PinterestShare