10 Summertime Safety Tips

May 17, 2012 By

I’ve always loved the fun in the sun that defines summer. But it’s also a time when children experience more injuries and make more visits to the emergency room than any other time of year.

Before the last bell of the 2011-2012 school year ushers in the approaching summer season and before a momma starts filling her days with a plethora of plans for the kiddos, it’s wise to consider safety first.

The M.O.M. Initiative wants to help your summertime be filled with fun and accident free, so we’re offering 10 summertime safety tips to help you have the best summer ever!

1. Moderation is key to fun in the sun. Remember, your little ones can become overheated and dehydrated much faster than you. So, when you make outdoor plans be sure to either include some shade or keep the time they spend in direct sunlight to a minimum.

2. Keep the sunscreen on the kids. Sunburns are not only painful but can be dangerous as well as a big cancer causing culprit. Fifteen minutes in direct sunlight is all it takes for tender skin to begin to burn. When it comes to sunscreen a good rule to remember is, if they’re in the sun it’s on their skin. (Make sure the SPF is 15 or more)

3. Don’t be bugged by insects. Avoid scented soaps, scented lotions and perfumes. Avoid garbage cans, standing water, leaves and woodpiles where yellow jackets, mosquitos, ticks and spiders love to dwell.

4. Get ‘em geared up. Most outside activities require some type of gear. Bicycle riding requires helmets; skateboarding requires helmets, elbow & knee pads; soccer requires shin guards and boating requires life vests. Be sure that you get your children properly geared up for whatever activity they’re involved in.

5. Take lessons first. Whether it’s swimming, horseback riding, water skiing or some other sport, be sure to have your child take lessons prior to participating in those activities. Those who teach these lessons also provide safety instructions and help prepare your children to play it safe.

6. Be aware of the weather. Check the weather before you head out. If a lightning storm approaches, avoid open spaces, standing in water and standing under a tree. Find shelter inside if possible. If not, make your way back to your car. The same is true for wind and hail storms.

7. Teach them to stick to the rules. Whatever activity you choose to do, be sure your children are taught the rules. Teach them to take precautions and make sure they stick to the rules. If they do something you’ve told them is outside of the realm of safety, be a good mom and make them sit it out for a little while. While children are often fearless and aren’t mature enough to consider the significance of safety, the consequences of not being able to participate may make them choose to stay safe.

8. Keep it age appropriate. Children are often injured trying to do things they aren’t old enough to do. Their dexterity isn’t always as developed as it needs to be for certain activities. Don’t allow your children to venture into the world of trying to be too big for their britches.

9. Be cool by the pool. Be extremely careful when your are near water. Observe the 2 foot rule when with your small children in the pool. That means don’t allow yourself to be more than 2 foot away from a child even if they’re wearing floaties. Inflatable rings, wings and rafts can easily be deflated and are often too slippery for children to hold on to. No running by the pool. No wrestling in the pool. And most importantly, NO children near the pool without supervision by an adult who can swim.

10. Be prepared. Know CPR and keep a “Summertime Fun Kit” packed and with you at all times. Include a camera, snacks, boxed drinks, a first aid kit, sunscreen, bug repellent, anti-sting lotion, calamine lotion, bandaids, antibiotic ointment, an ace bandage, tweezers, scissors, alcohol or peroxide, Visine, a spare set of clothes, an extra pair of shoes, a comb or brush, a toothbrush and tooth paste, a couple of books, a couple of games.

Summer is such a fun time of the year. Don’t let an injury or accident ruin a moment of it! Keep the kiddos safe and make memories you and your family will never forget.

What would you add to this list?

By Stephanie Shott

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Avoiding The Summer Meltdowns, 8 Tips How!

May 14, 2012 By
Tis the season for whining, crying, complaining and more. It’s summer time! Usually that means fun in the sun, but if you and you’re kids are like mine, meaning they strive on downtime, structure, and routine; I’ve got some timely tips to help you and your kids ease into summer! In fact, you could be the next ‘child whisperer’ among your peers!

STOP and HALT

No I’m not talking about stop signs, I’m talking about listening to the instincts that God has graciously instilled in us as mothers.
Okay, so you’re trying to get stuff checked off on that fabulous to-do list when you hear screaming and fighting for the millionth time today, let’s STOP before we yell at our kids.
Step away from the situation: stepping away allows our tempers to cool and for us to take a few deep breaths before going back into the action with a clear head.
Think: What is it about the situation that is driving you batty? Has it tripped your trigger?
What is the objective? Identify your objective before heading in, are you going to discuss kind hands or sharing?
Pray before heading in. Praying releases the situation into God’s hands and reminds us our strength comes from Him, as well as patience, sanity, and our cute kids! I pray often. If not constantly as I want to show them who Jesus is, what compassion is and reminds me that kind words bring peace, words in anger stir up dissension.
 This method works very well for me in times of heightened stress on top of my spirited kiddos. Especially when we tend to get out of our routines with those long summer nights–chasing fireflies :-)
Another tip to help with the season of summer fun, is what my friend Karla titles as HALT. We were discussing the terrible three’s when she advised us of what she has been doing with her kids. I love the idea so much that I’ve been doing it with my own. It helps remind me that my kids have needs and creates a renewed compassion in my heart, especially when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
The next time your child is driving you bonkers, stop and try to identify what her issue is; is she Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. These are the basic needs our little ones have. When we identify and address the issue plaguing them, they will turn back into our sweet little angels that we know and love; plus add life to our dwindling sanity during the hot long summers.
So when you were attempting just another trip to the mall, grocery store, or the pool, remember STOP and HALT!
Let’s begin the conversation today, what do YOU do to avoid the meltdowns? What advice has a mentor shared with you that you would like to pass on? Hugs to you all sweet moms!
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18 Memory Making Ideas for Summertime Fun

April 19, 2012 By

“There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1

I love the summer! Everything is alive and lively. The days are longer, the air smells sweeter, the kids are out of school and it’s time to play!

Unfortunately, when my children were young, I often found school was knocking on the door of our summer fun before we really got to enjoy the season that seemed to all-too-quickly slip through our fingers.

Making memories with our kids means we have to intentionally plan our days; purposely putting some things on the back burner and giving up certain daily routines and replacing them with some family time.

Below is a list of ideas that might spark your creative fuel. You can also go to your city’s website and look at the calendar of events. If you don’t find one, go to one of your local television station’s websites. You should be able to find out what’s going on in your town through one of those outlets.

So grab the family, the camera and a smile and get busy making memories!

1. A DAY AT THE ZOO - They are normally inexpensive and if you’re on a budget, pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler.

2. A JOURNEY TO YOUR LOCAL PARKS – Map out a few of the parks in your local area and see how many of them you can hit in a day. Take pictures at every park you visit. Pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler and have a picnic in the park. Stop by the store, develop your pictures and when you get home make a fun family timeline of your exscursions with your pics.

3. A DAY AT THE MUSEUM – Take the family to the museum. Enjoy taking pictures in front of the attractions. To make a day of it, take your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler.

4. THEME PARKS – Most towns have some sort of theme park within a three hour radius. Save up and take the family to one of the theme parks in your area. Again, you can pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler and save money by eating outside of the gate. The walk back will give you enough time to enjoy the rides when you get back in. :-)

5. PLAY TENNIS AT A LOCAL PARK – You may not be able to join a team, but many parks have tennis courts where you can play for free. If you don’t know the rules, you can either take the time to learn them or just do what I do – make them up as you go.

6. HAVE FUN IN THE SUN – Spend a day at the beach, lake, river or pool in your community. Be sure to pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler. Contrary to popular belief, sun is good for you. So get out there and absorb all the vitamin D you can…just don’t get a sunburn – and use sunscreen, especially if you’re fair skinned.

7. VBS OR BACKYARD BIBLE CLUBS – Be part of making an eternal difference in your kid’s and other kid’s lives. If your church doesn’t have anything going this summer, ask if you can help at another church and let your children join the fun there. You may want to put on your own backyard Bible club to reach out to your neighbors. Ask some families to help you and make your neighborhood your mission field.

8. TAKE A HIKE – Many towns have a natural habitat area that offers hikes and exhibits. You’ll not only want to take your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler, but you’ll want to take your binoculars too.

9. GO CAMPING – That’s right…tent and all…take your kids for a good, old fashioned camping trip. Hotdogs on the grill, marshmallows over the fire and all the mosquitos you can imagine. There’s really nothing like it!

10. BIKE RIDING – Go on bike trail and enjoy the ride. Stop, smell the roses, hang out and enjoy the lunch you packed (with drinks) in the cooler :-)

11. SKATE-BOWL - That’s right! Go skating and bowling all in the same day. Kind of a marathon fun day.

12. TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME – Go to a major or minor league baseball game. Hoot and holler for your favorite team together. Don’t forget to eat all the hot dogs and pop corn you can!

13. GO FISH - Take your family on a fishing trip. If you can’t bait your own hook, tell your son it’s time he learn :-) OR just use the fake stuff. You’ll have fun whether you catch anything or not.

14. INDOOR GAME DAY - Plan a day for indoor games. Get a few families together or just hang out with your own family and spend the day playing games. Board games, card games or make up your own (This time you won’t have to pack your lunch). :-)

15. A TRIP TO THE LIBRARY – Local libraries often offer summer reading programs. You can spend the day at the library and join in the activities.

16. DO SOME GOOD – It’s always a good idea to look for ways to make a difference in the lives of others. Paint an elderly neighbors house or mow his/her lawn. Work in a local homeless shelter. Volunteer to help at a local nursing home. Find a way to do good – it will do you all good!

17. CRAFT SMORGASBORD - Organize an all-crafts day in which your children can choose from 3 or 4 different crafts that they can actually complete them. There are great benefits to knowing they have accomplished something and being able to hold a tangible object made with their own hands.

18. COLLECT FOOD AND CLOTHES FOR THE NEEDY - Rather than just volunteering at a local homeless shelter, make it a family project to collect food and clothing for a homeless shelter or for needy families.

So there you have it…a few ideas to intentionally plan the upcoming days with memories instead of wasted moments. (If I could do it all over again, I’d schedule two or three activities a week.) Don’t forget your camera for all your events so you can decorate your home with the memories you make. Dedicate a wall for your summer pictures, cover your refrigerator with the fun-filled photos. Whatever you do…make memories…intentionally.

By Stephanie Shott

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Abide in Me

April 16, 2012 By

Close up of baby's foot in mother's handWhen I am asked, “How many children do you have?” I don’t know how to respond. “Three,” I answer, while I finish the sentence in my head, “…here with me and one in Heaven.” I will never forget my daughter, Rachel Faith, even if the only life she experienced was in the womb. She is always with me. As beautiful as she was at birth and at death, those images are not what flutter through my mind. I imagine her dancing with her sister. I twirl her dark curls. I embrace her, though she’s not physically here. Rachel died at birth and age stopped counting, but to me she’s almost 10.

Rachel lived in me. Her heart beat loud and strong while she stayed with me. But she left my body, and our hearts no longer beat in harmony. She was here. Then she was gone. About a week before Rachel Faith was born, I felt a sharp pain on my lower left side. I feared its significance; I knew her birth was near. By this time, the trisomy 18 had been confirmed, and the grim outlook bore gravely down upon me. I fell to my knees and wept. Through tears, I whispered to Rachel, though she could not hear or understand, “Stay with me! Don’t come out! Don’t go!” As long as she was in me, her heart beat. In me, she was alive and strong, vital. Apart from me, her imperfect body could do nothing.

Jesus says in John 15:5 (NKJV), “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” The Greek meno (abide) means to stay in a given place, to continue, endure, or remain. Jesus tells us to stay in Him. In Him, we are alive and strong, vital. In Him, we bear much fruit. Apart from Him, we wither. Apart from Him, we perish. Now, my Rachel could not physically remain in me forever. Her departure from this world was an act of the Father pruning my husband’s and my branches. We faithfully allowed God to work His will in our lives out of obedience to Him. “By this My Father [was] glorified, that you bear much fruit” (John 15:8 NKJV).

Losing Rachel evoked desperate emotions. My thoughts echoed Job’s, “May the day of my birth perish…That day – may it turn to darkness…May darkness and deep shadow claim it once more; may a cloud settle over it; may blackness overwhelm its light. That night – may thick darkness seize it; may it not be included among the days of the year nor be entered in any of the months…for it did not shut the doors of the womb on me to hide trouble from my eyes” (Job 3:3-10 NIV). The pain was so intense; I felt it would be better never to have existed at all than to experience such heartbreak.

Though I lingered awhile in the darkness, I could not wallow forever in my misery. I emerged from the pit despair plunged me into, “And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive. But better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 4:2-3, emphasis mine.) Rachel existed, but she did not live to “see the evil that is done under the sun.” I know she is truly happy, for to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.

From time to time, I gaze my affection upon memories of Rachel. She was here so briefly, they are but few, so I hide those treasured trinkets away in my heart. Often in regard to writing, I tell people I know it’s a God thing when my writing goes a completely different direction than the one I had planned. The same is true in life. I had plans for Rachel. Big ones! But what God had planned for her was so much better. Better than both is he who has not yet been! All Rachel has ever known is Glory. I rejoice in God’s plan. Sure, I cry tears of sorrow from time to time, but I long for time without end when I join her in God’s presence and see what she has always seen.

Jesus wants us to produce fruit for Him. The type of fruit we produce by remaining in God’s love is what results from our example of faith, things such as reaching the lost, drawing His children closer to Him, and exemplifying His gentle mercies. We must continue in Him. We must remain attached to the vine in order to bear fruit. He tells us this 10 times from verses 4-10 of John 15!

If I abide in Christ, and He in me, I am vibrant. As Rachel was alive in me, I am alive in Jesus! Remain in Jesus, dear sisters. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11 NKJV).

By Jodi Whisenhunt

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Recalls Moms Should Know About

April 14, 2012 By

The M.O.M. Initiative loves y’all like crazy and we want to offer information to help you in your journey. Today we want to share with you some current recalls that you may or may not be aware of. Recalls may seem silly to some but they arm moms with information they may need to protect their children.

So, here are some current recalls:

Lakeshore Feels Real Baby Dolls

On 2012-03-27, the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) announced a recall on Lakeshore Feels Real Baby Dolls due to a potential choking hazard. This product sold new beginning in May 2011 for approximately $20.

About 4,000 dolls are involved in this recall.

Why the recall?

The fingers and toes can detach and pose a choking hazard to young children.

How can I tell if I own one of these dolls?

Feels Real Baby Dolls are plastic dolls with movable arms, legs, and head. They are 14 inches tall and are Hispanic, Caucasian, Asian and Black. They are dressed in diapers which have a colored hearts, stars and swirly print. Two labels are sewn inside the back of the diaper. “Lakeshore” is written on the larger label. The number “550200″ is written on the smaller label.

These items were sold online at www.lakeshorelearning.com and from Lakeshore Learning Materials catalogs from May 2011 through January 2012 for approximately $20.

What to do if you own this recalled product?

The CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) provides the following information:

Consumers should immediately take these dolls away from children and contact the company for a free replacement doll.

For more information, contact Lakeshore Learning Materials at (800)428-4414. Their office hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. PT, Monday – Friday. Or you can visit the company’s website at www.lakeshorelearning.com. Lakeshore Learning Materials is contacting its customers directly.

 

Topeak Babyseat II Bicycle Carrier Seats

On 2012-04-05, the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) announced a recall on Topeak Babyseat II Bicycle Carrier Seats due to a potential laceration and fingertip amputation hazard. This product sold new beginning in January 2009 for about $140 to $180.

About 40,000 units are involved in this recall. Instance(s) of severe injurieshave been reported.

What the recall?

A child can place his or her fingers in the opening at the grab bar’s hinge mechanism. When an adult lifts the grab bar to remove the child from the car seat, the child’s fingertips can become caught in the hinge mechanism and pose a potential threat of a laceration and/or fingertip amputation hazard to the child.

Instance(s) of severe injuries have been reported.

 

How can I tell if I own this car seat?

This recall is for Topeak Babyseat II bicycle carrier seats – model numbers TCS2100, TCS2101 and TCS2102. Model numbers can be found printed on the product’s packaging. The gray, plastic Babyseats were sold in three styles: Babyseat, Babyseat with disc brake compatible rack and Babyseat with non-disc brake compatible rack. The racks are used to mount the seat to the bicycle. “Topeak” is embossed on the back of the seat and can also be found printed on a black foam protector which covers the grab bar. You will also see a red locking lever on the side of the blue grab-bar that locks the bar into place.

Iitems were sold at J&B Imports, REI, Action and Hawley, independent bicycle dealers, distributors and other retail stores nationwide and also online at www.REI.com from January 2009 through April 2012 for about $140 to $180.

What to do if you own this recalled product?

The CPSC provides the following remedy information:

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled carrier seats and contact Todson to receive a free hinge cover retrofit kit.

For additional information, contact Todson at (800)250-3068 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, or visit the firm’s website at www.todson.com.

These are some of the most current recalls, but we want to try to keep you informed. Please let us know if you hear of any recalls we should mention.

No you sweet moms have a very happy Saturday!

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I’m Pregnant – Now What?

April 12, 2012 By

Whether pink lines, a plus sign or a doctor’s diagnosis is the way you discover you are pregnant, a multitude of thoughts and emotions are sure to follow. Some women are excited and receive the news with great anticipation. Others are afraid of what their future might hold and aren’t sure how they are going to deal with the days ahead.

Pregnancy is different for everyone and so are the circumstances associated with it. A thousand questions run through every expectant mom’s mind as she begins her journey down an unfamiliar road. Even if she’s had a baby before, each pregnancy is different and so each pregnancy comes with questions.

And although we realize there are a ton of questions, here are 10 things every pregnant woman should consider:

1. Choose a good doctor or midwife and go early in your pregnancy. While there are an array of variables that should be considered when choosing a healthcare provider (including what type of risk factors you might have, what type of birth you plan on having, where you plan on having your baby and what your insurance will and will not cover) it is important to research the health care providers you are considering and then interview at least two or three of them before you make a decision. Remember, you are hiring them to care for your health needs and your baby’s health needs throughout your pregnancy, so be sure you make the wisest, most informed choice possible. You will also want to go ahead and find the pediatrician you will want your baby to go to once he/she is born.

2. Your actions affect your baby. Many expectant mothers continue to function as if the little life within is unaffected by her actions. If she smokes while she is pregnant  the baby is affected. If she drinks alcohol or does drugs while she is pregnant, the baby is affected. Pregnancy means that little life is dependent upon his/her mom for everything and everything she does affects her baby.

Here are a few facts about negative affects on a baby because of negative actions of his/her mother:

  • Smoking – decreases oxygen to the baby, increases carbon monoxide, baby’s heart has to work harder to get oxygen in his/her system, constricted blood vessels on mother’s side of placenta causing less oxygen, decreased blood supply, eye disorders and decreased nutrients resulting in low birth weight and slow growth. Not to mention the plethora of chemicals released into a baby’s system and the nicotine addiction that little one has before he/she is ever born.
  • Alcohol or Drugs – causes birth defects, fetal alcohol syndrome, miscarriage, still-birth, low birth weight, facial and physical defects, brain damage, learning disabilities, poor attention span, A.D.D., poor memory, muscle control problems, higher risk of sudden infant death syndrome, premature labor and withdrawals from the addiction he/she develops within the womb.

3. You and your baby need nutritious meals, vitamin supplements and moderate exercise so take care of yourself. As stated above, what you do affects your baby. Talk to your doctor first about what your physical limitations are and what your nutritional needs are, but when you are pregnant, moderate exercise can not only help the baby’s breathing movements and nervous system but it can also help you have an easier delivery and recovery. During pregnancy, a woman’s need for nutritious meals and vitamins also increases.  Most doctors recommend a prenatal vitamin but expectant moms may also want to look into adding fish oil and omega 3 (found in salmon and tuna) and Folic acid (found in leafy green vegetables) into their diets as well as assuring that they have the recommended dose of Vitamin D.

As much as you crave junk food try your best to avoid it during your pregnancy and when you are nursing.

4. Relax and rest. Your body needs more rest and less stress during pregnancy. You may notice that you start nodding out around 2 – 3 p.m. – that’s normal. If you can, take a nap. If you can’t, try to get rest when your body ‘tells’ you that you need it. Also, studies have shown that severe emotional stress during the first months of a woman’s pregnancy can impair nuero-development. Stress happens, but try to avoid allowing yourself to stay stressed out.

5. Drink water and avoid caffeine. If you’re like me, this one is easier said than done… but it’s definitely not only doable, but needed. Your body needs plenty of water, so drink up. On the other hand, neither your body nor your baby need caffeine. Small amounts of caffeine (300 mg or less) do not seem to show any adverse affects however, caffeine is a stimulant and 500 mg or more causes increased heart rates, premature labor, heartburn and may even keep your baby from sleeping.

6. Bonding begins in the womb. It’s natural to see an expectant mom caressing her bulging belly. Bonding begins while your little one is still in the womb, so talk to your baby, sing to your baby and rub your belly. When your baby is born he/she will recognize your voice and know your love.

7. Teach your baby. Believe it or not, as babies develop in the womb they can hear you. They recognize and respond to sounds they repeatedly hear and some research has shown that babies who were read to while still in the womb were more proficient readers with better comprehension levels and a higher self-confidence. So read to that sweet little one. You may just be carrying the next Einstein.

8. Educate yourself. There’s a lot of information out there about how to take your new journey through pregnancy. My friend, Erin MacPherson wrote a book called The Christian Mama’s Guide to Having a Baby that can help you enjoy your pregnancy. And there are a ton of other books that can help you with understanding your pregnancy from a medical perspective as well as books that help you know what to expect.

9. Prepare yourself to become a mother and begin to look for a mentor (if you don’t already have one). It’s easy to get caught up in the wonder of the pregnancy and forget the responsibilities that lie ahead. But moms don’t just happen… especially good moms. I’m not sure why we think that just because we had a mom that we know how to be one. Learning to be a mother is vital to the lifetime that is before you so start preparing to be a mother while you’re pregnant.

This is also the perfect time to find a mentor who can walk with you through not only your pregnancy but through this new season of life as a mom. We weren’t meant to do life alone and women need each other. Now is the time to seek out that Titus 2 to mentor to help you become the best momma you can be.

10. Pray. There is no greater work than prayer… so pray daily for that little one you are carrying… pray daily for yourself… pray daily for your husband… pray daily for your other children (if you have any)… pray daily for your child’s friends and future spouse. Pray for wisdom, pray for protection and direction, pray for your child to have a tender heart that will come to know Jesus at a young age, pray for your child’s integrity, faith and righteousness. Pray. Pray. Pray.

If you are expecting, I know your heart is full and you mind is racing. There are a ton of things to think about before the baby comes. But as you face the coming days, I hope these 10 things will help you consider what a miracle that little life within is. Yes… that precious bundle of joy is a Divine design – carefully crafter by the Creator of the universe and He picked you to be that baby’s mama.

If you’re pregnant now or planning to be, what do you wish was included in the list?

If you’ve already had your baby take a few minutes and look at the list above. What would you add to that list? What do you wish you would have known when you were expecting?

By Stephanie Shott

 

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Why Having “The Talk” Is Not Enough

March 21, 2012 By

There is no question the culture in most developed nations is sexually charged. Sex sells everything from shampoo and deodorant to lawn mowers. According to a report by Harris Interactive in 2007 68% of TV shows have explicit sexual content. The “wardrobe malfunction” of the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show reminds us that even sporting events are not safe. In a world where our young girls are being sexualized (see Toddlers and Tiaras), is it reasonable to think that one sex talk is enough to combat what our culture throws at our kids daily?

Instead I challenge you to begin an open dialog about sex with your children at a young age. Then continue the dialog in age appropriate ways throughout their lives. Remember sex isn’t something dirty or embarrassing. Sex is wonderful when kept in the confines of marriage.

I am guessing that the vast majority of you are thinking, but… But I was never taught how to do this. But I messed up so how can I teach my kids. But I don’t even know what God says about sex. But I don’t have the tools to do this without messing up my kids. But I am embarrassed. Yes I faced lots of concerns as I began the dialog with my kids about sex. The alternative is stark though moms. According to an American Academy of Pediatrics report from 2001, teens rank media second to sex education at school as the place they get their information about sex. Media – the place where sex without consequences is preached.

There is good news though moms. There are so many wonderful resources to help you talk to your children about sex. First I encourage you to find the God’s Design for Sex series. It is a series of four books for four different age ranges. The first book The Story of Me is geared toward three through five year-olds. It is completely age appropriate and such a great way to open the discussion of where babies come from. Each book builds on the information of the previous book and discusses sex, gender, and much more from a Biblical perspective.

Next as your children are nearing puberty there is a wonderful resource for you to create a special weekend with your child. This resource is by Family Life and is called Passport 2 Purity. It is filled with fabulous information and opens the discussion of when to date and how to protect your purity. They think of everything from hands-on visuals that help your kids understand what God says about sex to special experiences for you to share with your kids.

Finally remember your children probably know more about sex than you realize. Opening this dialog will only encourage a healthy exchange of information. Your children will be comfortable asking you questions about sex instead of being left to fend for themselves. It may begin a bit uncomfortable at first, but the results are invaluable.

What resources have you found helpful when talking to your children about sex?

By Angela Mackey

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Packing a Young Person’s Heart

March 14, 2012 By

Last Friday we took our daughter on a college visit. Serene lawns and still hallways echoed the time  year:  Spring Break. As we toured the campus, thoughts about our sweet girl’s future exploded in my mind like kernels in an air popper. I longed to see some students as evidence that when kids grow up they’re okay. But they were on Spring Break.

Inside the dorms, our guide was kind (bold? crazy?) enough to show us several rooms where it looked like the Rapture had taken place. Books, guitars, clothes, pizza pans, and shoes littered the floors and beds. There wasn’t a single suitcase or student in the dorms; they were gone. To where? Home? Daytona Beach? Mission trips?

Wherever their destination, the journey is one of growing independence and decision making. It’s a time of learning how the path we choose determines our destination. I doubt any of the young adults who ate the pizza from the dirty pan were thinking about that when they made their escape, but I’m a MOM. It’s what we do. They just went on “Spring Break.”

Last week we talked about Parenting Teens Through Spring Break. Since it’s a time of life full of discovery, danger, and a wisdom deficit, parents need to step up and get the conversation flowing with their teenagers!

How can we get young people ready for independent events, whether it’s a missions trip to Guatemala, camp this summer, or (God forbid!) a weekend in Vegas? What’s a mom to do?  It’s not a new question. The Psalmist asked in Psalm 119:9.  “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.”

When it comes time to let our kids venture out on their own (getting US & them ready for the future!), we can still influence them. We can help kids keep their way of life pure and live it like God’s word instructs. It’s all about the packing.

Tips for Packing a Heart    We make sure they have money, sunscreen, rules, and air in their tires, but how about more significant supplies?

  • Prayer – on your own and WITH them before they leave
  • Spiritual food – Give them a gift to feed their mind and heart. Jeff just gave our kids a copy of Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman. I love to give great missions stories like Peace Child by Don Richardson.
  • Fast – How badly do you long for your kids to guard their way? Fast intentionally about their need for wisdom and growth.
  • Music – Be sure they have spirit-filled music to listen to that will steer their thoughts. This makes a great trip gift.
  • Reminders – Be discreet, but don’t hesitate to send a text, tuck a note, or pack a little gift conveying “Praying for you” or some carefully chosen Biblical words of blessing.
  • Memorize – Challenge your student to memorize a verse in anticipation of time on their own. If your children are young, check out these tips from Do Not Depart about how to memorize with kids.

Tips for UNpacking a Heart    When their time away is over, it’s easy to focus on the laundry, any money that’s left, and other “clean up” tasks. Take time to unpack their heart.

  • Listen – to their stories about what was fun, what excited them, what they discovered, and what inspired them. Resist the urge to correct, gasp, or reprimand here. Just listen.
  • Look – If they have pictures, sit down and look at their pictures. Let them share the details. Learn about your changing child by seeing events through their eyes.
  • Serve – That mountain of laundry won’t do itself. A wise mom lets her child learn the valuable journey piece of “cleaning up,” but she’ll reinforce the love bond if she helps.

“How can young people keep their way pure?”  It’s a great question to ask when kids venture out on their own. Let’s help them pack their hearts for the journey.

By Julie Sanders

 

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Parenting Teens thru Spring Break

March 7, 2012 By

What will your teen do over Spring Break? Maybe you’re in the sippy cup years,  looking ahead with fear and trembling to the Facebook years. How can we watch out for our teens in today’s world?

Last night I feel asleep to the sound of laughter drifting upstairs from young women in our basement. Two are on the threshold of college;  two others are are signed up for the ACT. All are counting the days ’til spring break. If the teen years are such a vibrant time of life, why do we dread parenting through it? You can prepare yourself and your teen for the discovery and the dangers of this risk-taking time of life.

Season of Discovery

The young adult season is one of discovery. In Tim Elmore’s iYGeneration, he shares that teens prefer the company of peers, and “Their basis for making decisions is more relational than logical” (p.49).  This vibrant season of life is largely driven by friends, which can open doors for new experiences and social bonding, but it can also open Pandora’s box. Elmore says the average teen spends about $100 per week, which makes sense, since “They don’t want to do anything halfway” (p.136).  (By the way, I’m hiding this fact from my 2 teens!!)  With spring break right around the corner for discovery-hungry teens, parents should know a few facts reported in the October 2011 issue of National Geographic:

Season of Danger

  • the greatest risk takers of any age group are in the 14-17 yr old category
  • kids in the 15-25 yr old age group die of accidents of all kinds at high rates
  • most alcohol and drug abuse starts in adolescence
  • 1 in 3 teenage deaths are from car accidents

At the same time young people embrace discovery about themselves, the world, and people, they face potential danger. Instead of weighing risks based on logic and wisdom, teens are first likely to consider how their choices will impact their relationships. To be left out or unaccepted relationally spells disaster to a teenager. The cost of preferring relationships over risk can high, even deadly.

Wisdom Deficit

Parents with children in the Facebook and drivers license years must not be fooled. Times like spring break pose a challenge for young people to enjoy discovery and navigate the dangers. The teen years come with a wisdom deficit. No matter what they say or what they may appear to want, teens still need parents in their lives. Don’t let shaggy hair, rolling eyes, or text language discourage you; step up and fill the wisdom deficit.

 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind” (James 1:5-6).   Teens are in desperate need of mothers who will confidently beg God for wisdom on their behalf and then let it flow to their growing young adult.

Conversation Flow

Got teens? It’s a season of discovery and danger, packaged in a deficit of wisdom. They may be bigger and hungrier and bolder, but they desperately need you, sweet mom! Let conversation flow!

  • Let the conversation flow in prayer to your own Heavenly Father; “If anyone lacks wisdom,” ASK!
  • Let the conversation flow in relationship with your teen.
  •           Chat in a coffee shop or other place “on their turf.”
  •           Ask a few, good questions and then listen.
  •           Don’t talk too much; it isn’t a lecture.
  •           Let them know you like them and love them.

Some colleges are already out for Spring Break. Two teens in my house are counting the days here.  Many kids will head out to the beach or to travel with friends. It’s never been more challenging to be a young adult. Let’s step up and ask for some wisdom to pour into the teenagers in our lives!

 More Encouragement for Parents of Teens

Some other posts I’ve shared to help prepare students for SPRING Break & life’s challenges:

 By Julie Sanders

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Expecting Stretch Marks

February 20, 2012 By

During the 40 weeks of pregnancy, a woman’s body does things she never imagined it could do. It begs for us to use the word “miracle” to describe the whole, amazing process. When our skin stretches more than it’s happy to, reddish or purplish marks develop that remind me of childhood poison ivy moments, minus the scratching. Primarily due to heredity, stretch marks may appear on your stomach, chest, or behind, anywhere the body is doing the miraculous work of growing to accommodate carrying and bearing new life.

photo by Maya picture

They appear gradually, so you may not even notice them at first or even until after delivery. Eventually, discolorations usually fade to more gray, whitish, or skin-colored tones, but a well-trained mommy eye usually knows where her marks are.  Lotions and oils and creams relieve some of the pregnancy itchiness that some expectant moms may feel, but they really are no match for the need for our skin to stretch to do great things. Becoming a mom requires that we expand in every way.

For the first season of our lives, we mainly think about ourselves. Marriage stretches us to let go of our own desires and blend with another person, but bearing a child takes it to a whole new level. We yield our schedules, our pleasures, and our expectations to the needs of another; we let go of a lot. Not as obvious as changes on thighs or abs, the greatest changes take place in the heart and mind of a woman.

Emotionally, mentally, and physically, our lives bear the “stretch marks” of being miraculously changed as a woman, to become the mother God calls us to be. It’s a gradual process of expanding our hearts to put someone else more, to add the needs of our child before our own, and to bear the weight of their life over ours.  Such love stretches a marriage. Such love stretches a mother.

In moments when we feel we cannot stretch more without popping emotionally, mentally, or physically, God reminds us that, “My grace is sufficient for you. For power is perfected in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

Expect “stretch marks” in the process of becoming a mother, before and after delivery, but not all stretch marks are hereditary. The stretching of our lives is unique to each mother, and God invites us to generously massage the salve of His healing balm of grace and encouragement into the moments when we strain.  The stretching will leave marks, but they will be beautiful evidence of God’s work in the life of someone He calls to become a “Mommy.”

  • How is God stretching you/has He stretched you to grow into a mom?
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