EXPECTANT: Growing a life while growing a family

A track-mom friend stood by the fence as we cheered our senior girls across the finish line in their last high school race last night. And then my friend did something I didn’t expect. She reached over and hugged me, smiling with teary eyes.

Then I did something I didn’t expect. I had a flashback to bottles and blankets. Swallowing a surprise gulp of my own, I reminded myself that this growing up and moving on thing is good. We don’t have children to keep them forever, but when my husband placed our baby girl in my arms over eighteen years ago, I wasn’t imagining ever letting her go. Preparing to launch one of my birds out of the nest stirs up emotions I didn’t expect. I’ve warned my patient husband to brace himself for some tears. It seems that as we grow a family, we grow as women. This being a mom has been so much that I hoped for and so much more than I ever imagined.

Throughout the journey of motherhood, we add unexpected events and emotions like silver charms on a bracelet. Ever mom knows what it is to anticipate the gift of a child, their stages of growth, and the joys along the way. Baby books reserve spots for those milestones, though no one looks forward to the challenges and the heartaches; they are part of mothering too. As a child grows, so grows a mama’s hopes.

A variety of doorways lead women into motherhood, but whatever their paths of entry, all moms know what it is to have a heart that is truly expectant.

I was mentoring a EXPECTANT by Julie Sandersgroup of young wives when their hearts started to turn with anticipation to their mothering hopes. Each took her own unique path, some encountering surprises right away and others finding it downright painful. Despite the age of my two teenagers who sometimes wandered by as our group chatted, my days of hoping and growing and delivering didn’t seem that long ago. Mothers have a love for mothering other mothers.

As their questions flowed and their hearts opened, I began to write inspirations for them while they grew into motherhood: God’s truth and practical wisdom about their own changes, the other adults in their lives, the children of their wombs and their hearts, and the new normal they couldn’t yet picture. I included transparent stories for when they long to talk to someone who understands … in the middle of the night. Always, my heart hoped to create a gift to uplift sweet women growing into moms.

Now those mamas chase little ones on Sunday mornings. One day they may watch their toddlers-turned-teens run their own last high school races, and they may be surprised at the well of emotions in yet another unexpected motherhood moment. Because of their expectant hearts, an eBook collection of devotions for new and expectant moms called “Expectant” was born.

I’m holding on to the words of Proverbs 3:5-6 as tightly now as I did when we first brought JoHanna home from the hospital. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”  Those words have served me well as a mom, and I pray Jo will take them with her and hold on to them tightly, like she once held on to her blanket. We will trust the Lord as we grow into a new mother-child season.

Expectant is about growing your life while growing a family. If you’re beginning your journey of motherhood or have a friend or loved on who is, this is for that mother with an Expectant heart. I pray your story will be all you’ve hoped for and so much more than you imagined.

To read more about EXPECTANT go here. And buy EXPECTANT for your Kindle or Kindle App here.

by Julie Sanders

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The Joy of Baking/Cooking with Kids

I held her hand as her fingers clutched the stainless steel measuring cup filled with flour. The mixer whirred loudly as the cake batter the four of us were making began to take shape.

“Just be careful…” my voice trailed off as the beater bumped the measuring cup sending flour flying.

Flour Mess

Kids love to create and bake in the kitchen and as a mom I want them to learn how to cook and bake. However as a woman who has to clean the kitchen I don’t always want their “help.”

So what are some easy ways to enjoy baking and cooking with your kids?

  • Start small. Consider teaching your kids how to make mug cakes or brownies. One simple recipe for mug brownies is this: Mug Brown Recipe
  • Consider trying to make a fun lunch with the kids. Here is a homemade version of Easy Mac and Cheese. It is delicious and pretty easy and none of that artificial stuff that isn’t so great for little bodies. FYI I loved the taste of this too.
  • Here are some great recipes that kids can help cook and that use real food. If you click on the recipe for Giant Oatmeal Cookies, you will find some more wonderful tips about baking with your kids.
  • Do you have some older kids who are ready to do some cooking on their own? Check out these recipes kids can make on their own

Now I’m hungry. What tips or recipes do you like to make with your kids? Share them in the comments.

by Angela Mackey


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Strategies for Shopping with Youngsters

The little one rounded the corner, alone, crying, carrying her pink, velcroed, tennis shoes. She was maybe three years of age, at the most.

“Are you looking for your, Mommy?” I asked. I looked around,  expecting to see a frantic mama in search of her child. No one matched that description.

Then out popped a young mom from behind the shelves of shoes. I suppose she was fearful of me, a stranger, talking to her child.

“Oh, look! There’s your mom. See she won’t leave you. She’s right here.” 

The woman gave me an icy stare and said, “I was hiding to teach her a lesson.” Oh boy…My stomach tightened. This had ugly potential.

She picked up her child and plopped the little gal on the bench. She grabbed the mini-psychedelic -shoes and held them in her daughter’s face.

“If you don’t put on your shoes, I’m calling the monsters.” 

The Pippi Longstocking pigtails bobbed up and down with each hiccup sob. This poor little one was being terrorized right before my eyes. The mom thought she was doing it right.

I said nothing. I had no idea how to say what I wanted to say. This mom needed help. I could help her. I’m ashamed to say I sat by and did nothing. I’m praying she will read this post.

So here are a couple of tips, when shopping with a young child:
shopping cart

1. Have the youngster in a stroller, contained. Keep her there.

2. If the child is not in the buggy and wanders off , runs away, or doesn’t come when you call, DO NOT hide or threaten to leave. Go after that kid. Tell the child, “I will never leave you. I will always protect you.” Then pick up the screaming and kicking stinker (positioning the legs away from you, of course) and put him or her back in the cart.

3. In the case above, the mother wanted the child to put on her shoes. She could have said this, “You have a choice, you can put the shoes on yourself or I will help you.”  Most preschool or toddler children want to do things, “By self.” 

Shopping with the littles can be tough. Especially if you have more than one child. When my  kids were young I would load up one cart with all four and pull a second one.

Prevention is also helpful:

1. State, “When we go shopping you must stay in the stroller or hold my hand for safety. “

2. Avoid shopping during the bewitching hours of mealtime or nap time. A hungry tired child is not a good little shopper.

3. Engage you child in the “event”. Help me find….. Do you see……? 

Most of all…stay calm. Stay in control. And keep the errand short.

By,

Lori Wildenberg


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Counting the Cost & Monday M.O.M. Link Up

Lately, I have been praying over our diligence as a family.  There are so many ways God has entrusted us–with our families and helping others, whom He places on our path.  And EACH ONE really matters. So to begin being a good steward and spurring you on to being one, as well, I want to challenge you to due diligence–being faithful with little or much.

Here is my old faithful method of meal planning.  This may be something for you to implement in your own home. Or perhaps, it will spark some new ideas with what you are already doing.

Every two weeks, we have $300 to spend on groceries for our family of six (with two elementary students and two teens). To me, groceries include all food that we have and prepare at home, drinks, all paper products, pet food, beauty & hygiene and cleaning supplies. (YAY now we are done with diapers–12 years is a long time for diapers, friends!!)

Here is what I look at every month to begin:

Scripture Food for thought–I wrote this verse  to remember it and feed my soul with it every day.

Scripture food for thought

Refrigerator/ Freezer (we have two R/F’s–one is in the basement.

Refrigerator
Why yes, that is homemade deer sausage in our freezer! Amen and HalleluYAH!)

freezer
Pantry (Yes, it needed organizing in this picture. It’s clean now, YAY!)

Pantry
Cookbooks

Cookbooks
My Chart/ Legal Pads

Clipboard
First, I begin to plan meals from what I have already and add what is needed to make a meal. I take care to actually USE the meals that have been frozen by planning them in sync with some special sides, appetizers and a dessert. A little bit of special can make a frozen meal much better!

Legal Pad

Then I begin to look at recipes in the cookbooks. This is my favorite part! I think about their categories, their nutritional value (still using that old food pyramid from elementary school), and their cost. I like to introduce a few new things in the midst of old reliables. All the while, I have a pen and legal pad to write down the title, ingredients, book and page number.

Every home is different. My kids are all different, too. So I tend to make sure I make at least something they like with each meal. However, I do not cater to them for everything. I set the food before them and expect that they will eat it. We do not make them eat everything on their plates, though; however, we DO make them try it (and that may mean up to 5 bites) or no dessert. We think this is fair and not one of our children is starving.

Currently, another part of meal planning is trying new, healthier alternatives to some of our old southern favorites, that needed some healthy updates.  We are trying food such as kale, quinoa, steel cut oats, veggie wraps (instead of flour tortillas) and even veggie chips, which my family loves.  Also, we are eating more whole grains, fruits and vegetables.  I keep the fruits and vegetables cut up together in two large tupperware dishes.  This makes it simple to pull out freshly-prepared, healthy snacks in a hurry.

For each week, I also consider whether or not we are expecting company or celebrating a birthday. With company or special days, I may make an extra special meal like this: shrimp scampi, twice baked potatoes, Caesar salad, and blueberry cheesecake. On that particular week, I may have to pull out an extra frozen meal or use leftovers longer for budget purposes.

Though leftovers are usually not associated with good things, my Chris is the envy of all his co-workers, as he carries leftovers every single day to work. They complain at him constantly for the good things he brings and mercilessly reheats–sending the wonderful smells wafting through the air.

Finally, I consider whether or not the meal can be adapted for a second meal. For instance, if I make a crock pot roast on Sunday, I may adapt it into vegetable soup on Tuesday. Or if I make a ham on Wednesday, I may make some yummy potato soup from the meat on Thursday and beans or peas with the ham bone on Saturday in the crock pot. Also, I have found that next day (or frozen: thawed and reheated) chili or taco meat is especially tasty in Killer Queso (which is not healthy, really, but everything in moderation, right?)!

Here is what I do to plan my menu and grocery list. I get out my three legal pads: grocery list, menu ideas, and actual menu. I only write in menu items for supper during the week. On weekends, I may add lunch (which I call dinner). Generally, I plan the entire month’s menu at one sitting.

Then I create the month’s menu chart with a reference to where to find the recipe, if needed. Usually, we have leftovers/ frozen meals on Tuesday and Thursday. Wednesdays we have AWANAS and youth group, so I put together a quick meal like sandwiches, veggies, chips, pickle and a cookie. Friday night is family night, which we call pizza pajama night. Every two weeks, we order out or get Papa Murphey’s. On the other Fridays, we make homemade pizza at home. On Sundays I usually make a crock pot meal at lunch, and for supper, we have our home group (so we bring whatever it is our turn to bring–enough to feed 40 people). Saturdays we like to cook out–even something like brats or hot dogs are SO much better on the grill.

OK, so I fill in the spaces on the menu (leaving room for change–flexibility is a good thing). Then I write my two week grocery list on a separate legal pad. It will have everything I need to complete my menu for those two weeks. There are staples that we need like eggs, butter, milk, etc. Also, there are things we have run out of like contact solution, cleaners and pet supplies. I always buy these in large quantities from Walmart. I try to alternate buying them so that they do not all fall on one grocery trip. Usually shampoo and soap do not run out for awhile, so it may be every six months that we have to buy them.

Finally I put my menu chart on the pantry door for the kids to read every time they ask the dreaded question: “Mo-om, what’s for supper?” Praise God for communication that is CLEAR!

By the way, my Chris wants you to know that he does most of and the best, cost-effective grocery shopping. Well, he does! And sometimes? I call him before he leaves work to ask him to bring home chicken from Walmart or King Soopers. Flexibility is good!

 

What are ideas and tips that work for you and your family?


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Mean Girls

574977_482259785168461_1678738962_nThe words on Facebook glared back at her. “You are so ugly! You are fat, annoying and I hate you!”

Lindsay just sat there, staring at the screen, baffled. “What did I say? What did I do?”

Maybe this has happened to one of your children, or in some way they’ve faced this same type of painful rejection. Maybe you have felt it yourself. I recently spotted a t-shirt at the mall that read “You’re no one until someone talks about you.” What a sad state of affairs.

Growing up in a world where “Mean Girls” and “Gossip Girl” are movie and TV titles, it comes as no surprise that “mean” defines many females today. How can we guard our hearts against this? As a mom, what can we do when our children’s hearts are crushed by meanness?

Feeling unaccepted is nothing new. In Song of Solomon 1:5a, we are introduced to a young girl who felt this way: “Don’t look down on me because I am dark…” (MSG). She felt rejected. Those feelings are so opposite of what we and our children want to feel. We long to be accepted.

Matthew Henry concludes about this passage in Song of Solomon that we, as represented by the young girl, are “often base and contemptible in the esteem of others, but excellent in the sight of God.” [1]

We can counteract the poison of meanness by remembering who we are in God’s eyes. I am excellent in the sight of God and so are you. Song of Solomon 1:5b reveals the tanned girl’s acceptance of this truth; she knows full well that her Lord finds her lovely. When I know that I am accepted by the Lord, it puts me exactly where I need to be to slough off insults and to help my child do the same.

When my daughter was in sixth grade, she was 5’10″. One day as she got off the school bus, I noticed she was holding back a flood of tears. Once again she had been made fun of for her height.

On that day, her youth pastor wasn’t there. Her teacher, counselor and small group leaders weren’t there either. But her mom was. I began telling her how her Father saw her. Sharing truths like these:

“My beloved is mine, and I am His…” (Song of Solomon 2:16a, NKJV).

“You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless” (Song of Solomon 4:7b, MSG).

“The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord” (Psalm 45:11, NIV).

I poured these truths and others into my daughter that day and continue to remind her of them still. I put them everywhere so that together we can read them over and over again. When we feel rejected, these words remind us that we are, in fact, accepted! I pray they will be a sweet reminder for you, and perhaps your daughter, today.

Dear Lord, help me to be purposeful in putting Your truth about who I am into my heart and mind so that am not swayed by the opinions of others. And when the time is right, I can pour Your truth into the hearts and minds of my children and friends. When my child feels rejected, help me remind them that in You they are accepted. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Do you have a young woman in your life that you want to know this truth? His Revolutionary Love by Lynn Cowell empowers young women to discover God’s love in a way that builds confidence, enabling them to make wise choices.



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 This Really Got Me Link-up at Rethinking My Thinking

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QbyUand4U: Getting kids to eat fruits & veggies & TMI Link Up

At one time or another, I think every mom wonders if she is mothering a child worthy of an expose on 20/20. Some children struggle with medical or emotional challenges expressed in eating habits that require the help of a trained therapist, nutritionist, or doctor. But when one of our moms asked, “How do we get our kids to eat more fruits and vegetables?” the mom audience collectively nodded their heads. It’s time for a “Question by U and 4U!”

veggie bowl
Most children aren’t born craving broccoli. If your kids beg for brussel sprouts on their birthday, just go ahead and skip to the comments and tell us what your secrets are! But for all the rest of us, let’s talk about how to move kids from milk to mangoes in a day when chicken nuggets are made to look like rock stars. Like generations before us, we just want our kids to eat their fruits and veggies!

Is good nutrition worth the battle? Even though we know children need a wide array of vitamins, minerals, and fiber, moms often give in when faced with pouty lipped, arms crossed, nugget loving children. How can we encourage healthy eating without having to do battle?

  1. Model the diet you want for your kids. Be honest here … do you only eat an apricot when it’s in “jam form” in the middle of a pastry? Kids learn from what we choose to eat.
  2. Don’t put junk where good stuff should go. If they turn up their nose at pineapple, don’t shrug your shoulders and trade it for Pringles.
  3. Persevere if it matters … because it does. It doesn’t count as a failure after one rejection or five or ten. Start before they’re using silverware, and then keep putting healthy options in front of your children in every single stage of their life.
  4. Think like a florist and cook like an artist. Create a palette of food on your child’s plate that is varied and colorful, a display of different shapes and textures. Invite their help, their touching and their sampling. Make preparation, serving, and eating a joyful journey of the senses.
  5. Talk it up before you serve it up. Tell your children how thankful you are for the food you have and describe its wonderful qualities. Explain how God has given us the gift of fruits and vegetables to meet our needs and bring us pleasure. When you pray, thank Him for the gifts He’s given.

“And God said, ‘Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.’ And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day” (Genesis 1:11-13).

Like any other healthy habit you train your children to practice, choosing a healthy diet pays dividends their whole life. In April 2008 The Journal of School Health reported that children who regularly eat vegetables and fruits do better academically than children with poor diets. Good nutrition produces increased attention to learn, greater energy levels, more desire for activity, stronger emotional balance, digestive well-being, and better sleep patterns. That’s worth taking the time to keep fruits and veggies on hand and ready to serve to children learning to choose what will help them grow strong for a healthy future.

And by the way, both of our kids beg for brussel sprouts on their birthdays!  I’m not kidding. I drizzle the sprouts with olive oil and sprinkle a little sea salt and roast them for about 30 minutes at 350.  I eat a couple … because the kids are watching.  It makes the florist and the artist and the mother in me so happy.

Click here for a nutrition resource for kids provided by the Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.

Shared by Julie Sanders


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When Prayer Overcomes the World

Yesterday, I walked into my women’s Bible study group with thoughts consisting of my own problems and circumstances.  There is a physically-handicapped woman in our group who greeted me with a huge grin and asked me how I was doing today.  I lied and told her I was fine, thank you.  We sat in our chairs and as our leader began with prayer requests, this precious woman asked if we could say a prayer for the crisis going on in Midland City, Alabama.

safe_image.php

Just down the road from my house, a school bus driver named Chuck Poland was shot last week and a little five year old autistic boy, Ethan, was kidnapped.

news report

The women in my group stood from our chairs and held hands in a circle.  At first, only the gentle hum of the air conditioner could be heard, we were all at a loss for words.  Then, this woman – with her own physical handicaps – began to pray, thanking God for his grace and asking for his love to cover the kidnapper’s heart so he would release this little boy.

Tears pricked my eyes as I listened to her heart-felt prayer.  She, full of compassion, me heavy with selfishness.  My heart hurt as I realized how small my problems were compared to this enormous situation a couple miles away.  Silently, I prayed for forgiveness.

praying

A friend on Facebook wrote, “Well, 3rd night in a row now I have cried myself to sleep worrying and scared for little Ethan. I have literally found myself begging God for a safe end to this situation. I honestly have no words when I think about it all, just tears. John 16:33 has never sounded so comforting for me to read. I have Faith friends. If you haven’t already, please join me in prayer for ALL involved in this unthinkable situation. The Devil is working hard, but I truly believe God is working harder!!!”

Her compassion spills onto the screen just as her tears have spilled from her eyes each night.  When the world is dark and full of trouble, do we believe that Jesus has truly overcome the world? 

Can we get past our own agendas and join hands in prayer for another?  Can we believe that with God, all things ARE possible?

There are so many questions floating around our Alabama homes. Moms have children that are afraid to attend school or stay home alone.  Dinner time consists of worried eyes and young hearts that don’t understand why somebody could be so cruel.  How do you tell your child that bad things do happen but Jesus is our protector, a light in the dark?

candlelight

There is a Facebook page called Prayers for Dale County Schools, Family of Charles Poland and Little Ethan. Here, people write:

“Even in dark, dark places, the light of God’s truth, the light of God’s love, and the light of the gospel is able to penetrate, and to rescue and redeem.” ~Nancy Leigh DeMoss~ Praying without ceasing for Little Ethan, and for the heart of Mr. Jimmy Lee Dykes…

“Dear Lord: Please help this man let this little precious innocent child go! Lord, touch his heart somehow as only you can, and convince him enough is enough. Be with that precious little boy and be with his precious family. May you intervene Lord and find a way to end this ordeal for all involve. Lord, I pray this in Jesus name! Amen!”

“As a mother myself, I can’t even begin to imagine what this mom is feeling. I am praying for her and everyone involved. I pray that this child is safely back in his mothers arms very soon.”

The unthinkable happened just a few miles from me in a sleepy little town full of farmers and agriculture.  Ethan’s parents had no idea when they dropped him off for school in the morning that he wouldn’t be coming home to them in the evening.  Chuck Poland didn’t realize that when he adorned his bus driving outfit that morning that he would be called a hero just a few hours later.

church

As mothers, we want to stop evil from invading our cities, our homes, our country.  It’s so easy to want to hide behind closed doors instead of walking into the unknown every day.  Yes, the devil is working hard.  He is manipulative, cruel, and relentless.  But, we can’t let our minds or the minds of our children believe that he has won.  When Jesus wrote the words of John 16:33, he meant for us to declare as a battle cry, “Take heart, because JESUS has overcome the world!”

Evil can be stopped with prayer.

bus

As believers in Jesus Christ, our protector, we moms can protect our children from this world with prayer.  Prayer that is beyond our selfish wants and extended to cover our children, our cities, and our country.  Before Jesus was arrested, he prayed for all believers saying, “May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me (John 17:23).”

Jesus wants us to be unified in prayer.  When all hope seems lost, when nothing but the nightlight is on, when we see our children question the motives of this world, we have to pray.  Pray on Facebook, pray in our schools, pray in our homes…pray that we, the body of Christ, show that good has won the battle.

Let us join hands in this cyber-circle, sweet mothers, and pray.

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Championship Bean Dip

It is Super Bowl time! The M.O.M. Initiative is here to help you spend more time with your family, and less time searching for “the perfect” game day recipe!

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Grab a few bags of tortilla chips, your slow cooker, heat up and enjoy!

I make this for every get-together, everyone LOVES it!

 

1 can (16 ounces) refried beans,  1 cup picante sauce,  1 cup (4 ounces)shredded cheddar cheese,

1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack Cheese,   3/4 cup sour cream,   1  three ounce package softened cream cheese,

 1 tablespoon chili powder,   1/4 teaspoon ground cumin,  tortilla chips

In a bowl, combine the first eight ingredients; transfer to a slow cooker. Cover and cook on high for two hours or until heated through, stirring once or twice.

Yields: 4 1/2 cups

Jump on over to my website, or facebook.
Recipe adapted from–Quick Cooking, Wendi Wavrin Law, Omaha, Nebraska

 


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What’s In Your Glass?

Moms Who Need__________

How would you fill in that blank?

Whatever you put in the blank—a rest, a break, a nap, love, peace, quiet—if you fill it in with “Jesus” and His Word, He will help you with all He knows you need.

Bible and cross

We’re Moms Who Need The Lord and His Word!

But I am saddened that over 650,000 moms fill in the blank, and fill-up their glasses, with “Wine.” Yes, the “Moms Who Need Wine” Facebook page has that many “likes”. They also have a website that sells T-shirts, sweatshirts, tote bags, and water bottles with their logo (picture below) and, of course, sell wine by the case.

 drunk mommies

 “Moms Who Need Wine” Facebook profile picture and logo

The premise of this group is that they can’t get through a day of mothering without drinking.  Does that alarm you as much as it does me? These are moms who are responsible for infants, toddlers, kids, neighbor’s kids, your kids, carpools, driving with innocent children in the backseat. No one can dispute that alcohol impairs all your faculties, and yet, these moms laugh and cavort on Facebook about their drinking while mothering like a group of barroom drunks.

Kids Play, Mommies Drink

Playdate with wine

 Play date “snacks” from the “Moms Who Need Wine” Facebook

These wine-drinking mommies aren’t hanging out in bars…they’re changing diapers, vacuuming, cooking, driving carpools, pushing strollers, helping at school, and meeting at play dates to share a bottle of wine, referred to as “mommy juice”. Maybe some of them are your friends or neighbors…maybe one is you….

Mommies Beware—You’re Being Targeted

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”—1 Peter 5:8 NLT

A Times Magazine article titled “Mother’s Liquid Helper. Raising children? Raise a glass!” reported that wineries are marketing directly to moms of young kids. “Chateau Ste. Michelle in Washington has begun a Facebook campaign asking women to customize an equation to sum up what makes them want a glass. (“Me + a glass of wine – juice boxes + quiet time for 15 minutes = My Chateau.”) The ads tagline: ‘It’s where you become you again’—will run in places women go when they’re stressed out about taking care of their family, including Food Network Magazine, parents.com, and Rachael Ray’s website”.

Clos LaChance Winery has a “MommyJuice line, and another winery calls their mommy-targeted wine, “Mommy’s Time Out.

When I spoke on this alarming trend at a retreat recently, a young woman came up to me afterwards thanking me for taking on this challenging topic.  She said she was an ER Nurse and had recently seen three young mothers die because of cirrhosis of the liver caused by alcoholism. Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, who championed this mommy-drinking trend with her blog and best sellers Naptime Is the New Happy Hour and Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay, eventually had to admit she had a drinking problem, and quit.

Sobering Topic

MADD

I’m not judging whether someone chooses to drink alcohol or not, but I am questioning the when and why.

You’ve heard of MADD, Moms Against Drunk Driving. At The MOM Initiative, let’s be MADP: Moms Against Drunk Parenting.

If you know a mommy who is struggling with the responsibilities and rigors of being a mom, how about giving her a copy of TMI’s new book, Overwhelmed, or showing her how to get it free on this TMI website. Then sit down with a cup of tea or coffee and discuss it with her. You’ll both feel better in the morning!

“Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.” Proverbs 20:21

Janet Thompson is an award winning author, speaker, and founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring. She can be reached at www.womantowomanmentoring.com.

 

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Remove the Me

carrying the cross

Photo via DiscerningHearts.com

In Luke 9:23, Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Notice Jesus says we must take up our cross daily. Suffering and hardship He guaranteed. In fact, He said in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble.”  Each day will provide its own burdens, and each day we must choose how to handle them.  Jesus tells us if we desire to follow Him, we must surrender to His plan, difficulties and all. Our burdens bear a purpose, and we must bear them with full devotion to the Lord.

A particular cross I bear is the chronic illness I developed at the age of 26—Rheumatoid Arthiritis (RA). The disease has no cure and progressively worsens over time, causing permanent, irreversible damage to joints, connective tissue, and potentially to the body’s organs. My RA has been relatively tamed for several years, but because I am in the process of changing medication, it is flaring fiercely. My thumbs have swollen to twice their size, my knees won’t bend, I cannot grip things, my ankle won’t flex, even my throat aches. And there’s really not much I can do about it.

Except hand it over to God to do with what He will.

I received a parable by email.  Its message reinforces the importance of bearing the cross God has given us.  In the story, a man walks along a path carrying a large cross upon his shoulders.  He complains to God that it is too heavy and asks Him to shorten it.  God complies.  The man carries it a little further and again complains.  Once again God grants the man’s request.  The man comes to a great chasm.  Others lay their crosses down and cross over, but this man’s is too short.

The man in the story was too concerned with his own comfort.  He did not devote his life to the Lord, but expected the Lord to conform to his own desires.  In the end, the man fell short of the glory of God, literally.

You may be familiar with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief. Well, I have grieved my former self in relation to my disease. I spent many years in denial until RA began to show itself with disfigured joints and unending flares, and I have spent time in denial that maybe I could live without treatment. I was and am angry at the RA for what it does to me, and I am angry at the pharmaceutical companies for producing products that may soften symptoms, but have the potential to kill me in a dozen other ways. It depresses me to have days when I can barely move or function, and it frustrates me I can’t find a therapy to make me healthy. I have tried to bargain with God. “Rid me of this disease in this life, and look at the testimony I’ll have for you!” I offer Him, but He doesn’t accept. I’ve bargained with the treatment options, looking for a way to stifle this monster. And, finally, I’ve arrived at acceptance.

I have a disease that has no cure.  It will not go away, and the treatment options aren’t great. I could ask God to remove my illness, and He could agree, but I would miss tremendous growth opportunities if He did. Instead of growing closer to Him, instead of deepening my spiritual relationship with Christ, instead of becoming a sharper tool in the Master’s workshop, I would be short-changing myself—or short-crossing myself—and I would be preventing others from following this path to salvation.

To complete the Kubler-Ross final stage of acceptance, I must surrender to God’s will. I must look beyond my physical discomfort. I must overcome my frustrations. I must get past me if I am to arrive at hope. I must remember that this affliction is not about me. Isaiah 43:7 says we were created for God’s glory.  It is about humble servitude and faithful obedience to the Lord’s will.

Lord, please help me to know your will. Guide me. Please give me your wisdom. Speak through me. Work through me. Help me not to resist you, but to give in to you wholeheartedly and let you use me. Help me to “Serve [You] with a perfect heart and with a willing mind” (1 Chronicles 28:9).

“Remove the Me”

by Jodi Whisenhunt

Lord, remove the Me.

I

Just fail.

I

Am in the way. Lord, take

Me

Away. Remove

Me.

Speak through

Me.

Live through

Me.

Flow from

Me.

So

I

Cease to exist.

Don’t make Me your instrument.

I

Am yours already, just

Remove the Me.

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