Abide in Me

April 16, 2012 By

Close up of baby's foot in mother's handWhen I am asked, “How many children do you have?” I don’t know how to respond. “Three,” I answer, while I finish the sentence in my head, “…here with me and one in Heaven.” I will never forget my daughter, Rachel Faith, even if the only life she experienced was in the womb. She is always with me. As beautiful as she was at birth and at death, those images are not what flutter through my mind. I imagine her dancing with her sister. I twirl her dark curls. I embrace her, though she’s not physically here. Rachel died at birth and age stopped counting, but to me she’s almost 10.

Rachel lived in me. Her heart beat loud and strong while she stayed with me. But she left my body, and our hearts no longer beat in harmony. She was here. Then she was gone. About a week before Rachel Faith was born, I felt a sharp pain on my lower left side. I feared its significance; I knew her birth was near. By this time, the trisomy 18 had been confirmed, and the grim outlook bore gravely down upon me. I fell to my knees and wept. Through tears, I whispered to Rachel, though she could not hear or understand, “Stay with me! Don’t come out! Don’t go!” As long as she was in me, her heart beat. In me, she was alive and strong, vital. Apart from me, her imperfect body could do nothing.

Jesus says in John 15:5 (NKJV), “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” The Greek meno (abide) means to stay in a given place, to continue, endure, or remain. Jesus tells us to stay in Him. In Him, we are alive and strong, vital. In Him, we bear much fruit. Apart from Him, we wither. Apart from Him, we perish. Now, my Rachel could not physically remain in me forever. Her departure from this world was an act of the Father pruning my husband’s and my branches. We faithfully allowed God to work His will in our lives out of obedience to Him. “By this My Father [was] glorified, that you bear much fruit” (John 15:8 NKJV).

Losing Rachel evoked desperate emotions. My thoughts echoed Job’s, “May the day of my birth perish…That day – may it turn to darkness…May darkness and deep shadow claim it once more; may a cloud settle over it; may blackness overwhelm its light. That night – may thick darkness seize it; may it not be included among the days of the year nor be entered in any of the months…for it did not shut the doors of the womb on me to hide trouble from my eyes” (Job 3:3-10 NIV). The pain was so intense; I felt it would be better never to have existed at all than to experience such heartbreak.

Though I lingered awhile in the darkness, I could not wallow forever in my misery. I emerged from the pit despair plunged me into, “And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive. But better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 4:2-3, emphasis mine.) Rachel existed, but she did not live to “see the evil that is done under the sun.” I know she is truly happy, for to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.

From time to time, I gaze my affection upon memories of Rachel. She was here so briefly, they are but few, so I hide those treasured trinkets away in my heart. Often in regard to writing, I tell people I know it’s a God thing when my writing goes a completely different direction than the one I had planned. The same is true in life. I had plans for Rachel. Big ones! But what God had planned for her was so much better. Better than both is he who has not yet been! All Rachel has ever known is Glory. I rejoice in God’s plan. Sure, I cry tears of sorrow from time to time, but I long for time without end when I join her in God’s presence and see what she has always seen.

Jesus wants us to produce fruit for Him. The type of fruit we produce by remaining in God’s love is what results from our example of faith, things such as reaching the lost, drawing His children closer to Him, and exemplifying His gentle mercies. We must continue in Him. We must remain attached to the vine in order to bear fruit. He tells us this 10 times from verses 4-10 of John 15!

If I abide in Christ, and He in me, I am vibrant. As Rachel was alive in me, I am alive in Jesus! Remain in Jesus, dear sisters. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11 NKJV).

By Jodi Whisenhunt

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Season of Growing

April 9, 2012 By

A walk to my mailbox yesterday revealed a rose about to bloom. A clematis vine winds its way up the porch, hanging with purple blossoms. Even the fungus on the stump has gone from espresso cup to soup bowl size in a matter of days. If growth is the symphony of springtime, our children take center stage.

 

It’s time for mommies everywhere to set aside their ironing baskets, resist spring cleaning, and turn off technology in favor of embracing this season of growth with our children.  Including these 7 essential ingredients in your spring will help you make the most of this season of growing.

7 Springtime Ingredients for Growing Children

G – God: Psalm 19:1-6 describes how nature tells who God is and what He’s like. As all of creation awakens at once, it’s the perfect time to help children turn their thoughts to the Maker of heaven and earth, see His nature in the wonders, and praise Him for being so creative. Don’t miss God in the glory of springtime!

R – Reading: Spring gives a mom a lot to work with in motivating children to read. Visit your local library for books about seeds, weather, earth worms, life cycles, baby animals, and new life. I personally love Dr. Seuss, “O Say Can You Seed.” Use the new season to feed your child’s mind.

O – Outdoors: Fresh air and breezes invite us to step outside. Don’t let allergies or bugs stop you! Put on play clothes and sneakers and get outside with sidewalk chalk, a ball, a kite, or a blanket. Unless it’s a rainy spring day, make it your goal to get outside each day. Take your meals, your lessons, your chores, and your special occasions outdoors.

W – Walking: Couch potatoes thrive in winter. Once the weather changes, take advantage of the chance to move and be active. Moms have to model motion for children to learn healthy habits. Instead of just “sending kids out to play,” get out with them. Walk with other moms and kids, meet new friends in your neighborhood or playground, or use it to catch up with your husband.

I – Inspiration: Like plants coming to life around us, creativity blossoms in springtime. No other season has such a wide palette of colors or variety of songs as its background. Let the array inspire you and your children to be artistic. Have a basket of paints, paper, craft materials, musical instruments, and miscellaneous items on hand for inspired moments.

N – Nurturing: Take a cue from the duck at the park and use the springtime to nurture your ducklings. It’s the ideal season to let children follow you and enjoy the shelter of your wings. All too soon, they’ll lose their downy feathers and take flight, so enjoy your brood in this season reserved for motherhood.

G – Gratitude: Find a sunny spot under new leaves, and soak in the sweetness of motherhood. Images will sneak in like mounds of laundry, stains on carpet, and late night feedings … block those out! Listen to the sounds of your children, take in every detail of their faces, watch with wonder at what they’ve learned. Be amazed and grateful that you are a mother.

So many times throughout the year, we let daily things cause us to miss the wonders of mothering our growing sprouts called children. This spring … enjoy.

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40 Weeks of Growing Trust

February 8, 2012 By

The test stick turns pink, and suddenly your whole world changes. Within days you may start to feel your body change, and new thoughts cross your mind that you never considered before.  How will life change professionally, intimately, financially, and physically? With the passing of each day on the calendar, you may feel like time is running out to get a firm hold on the coming addition to your family and the changes to your world.  Forty weeks will pass faster than you think, and the urge to be in control may grow right along with the size of your tummy and your belly button! But pregnancy is not just about growing a baby; it’s about growing our trust.

While the egg grows into an embryo with arm buds and hiccups, God uses the same weeks to take a woman’s heart and prepare her for the task of motherhood. Stretch marks might show up on her hips, but they’ll also show up on her heart. While we prepare a nursery and read up on nursing and pre-school, we also need to grow our ability to trust God.

You won’t find it on a baby registry or wrapped up to be received at a shower, but trust in God is a mother’s greatest resource. Many new moms learn early on that we cannot be in control of our conception, though we long to conceive. We can’t be in control our baby’s arrival, though we long to schedule. We can’t be in control of our delivery, though we develop a birthing plan. When our bundle of joy starts to eat cereal, roll over, crawl, ride a bike, or get on a school bus, mothers are reminded over and over that we cannot control the events in those who call us “Mommy” and own our hearts. We must trust the Heavenly Father to do what’s best for our treasures and to watch over them.

Thankfully, unlike us, our Father is not limited and given to sleep deprivation. He sees the future and knows the past. We may not be able to grasp it, but He is totally sufficient to watch over our little ones and to give us all we need to be the mommies He has called us to be.

“ Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”  Isaiah 40:28-29

Sweet mom-to-be, if there’s a baby growing inside your belly, let your trust in the tireless Heavenly Father grow in your heart. Even now, He is watching over your baby’s life, and He will not ever stop.

By Julie Sanders

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Rockabye Baby

December 4, 2011 By

Image from Photobucket

Newborn babies sleep a lot. But they wake up a lot too…especially during the first six months. New moms who often describe their nights as sleepless and their days as long may be able to get some much needed rest if they try to implement the following five tips.

1. BE CONSISTENT – Consistency is the number one key to almost every area of development for your little one. In our crazy, busy, non-scheduled world it’s important to know babies thrive on schedules. You may not be used to watching the clock and keeping a dairy of your day, but it would very helpful to start. Note the times your baby wakes up and the times your baby goes to sleep. Newborns sleep about 3 – 4 hours and stay awake about 2 hours. For the first few weeks you’re basically on their schedule. But as your bundle of sleepless joy begins to develop a tummy that holds more than 4 ounces at a time, you will find he will begin to sleep longer.

That’s when you will want to begin to develop a consistent schedule. Perhaps you will begin giving him a bath by 7 p.m. and tucking him in by 8 p.m.. You may want to rock him for a bit while you sing or read to him. Then place him in his bed and kiss him good night and walk out of the room. He may cry a bit at first, but when he discovers a bath means it’s about bedtime, he will start knowing what to expect.

There may be times when life throws you a sleeping-schedule curve ball and you aren’t able to go through the typical bedtime routine. In fact, you may not be able to put him in bed when and where you normally do. But don’t worry. Get right back on it the the next night and he willl readjust with you. Just remember, it’s to your benefit to stay on schedule as much as you possibly can.

So, if you want to get some rest again, be consistent with bedtime routines and it won’t be long before your darling one sleeps when you expect him to.

2. A TIME & A PLACE – Although we alluded to it in the first tip, it’s important to know that babies not only need a consistent routine, but they also need security. They need a time and a place that becomes their bedtime. Teach your baby that he is to fall asleep in the same bed he will wake up in. It’s easy to let them fall asleep on the couch or just any ol’ place. But knowing they have a time and a place will give them an important sense of security.

3. KEEP HIM UP – Once you’ve started to establish a schedule you will need to try to keep your precious baby awake until it’s his bedtime. When he is only a few weeks and even a few months old, he will have several ‘bedtimes’ throughout the day. But when you see him dozing after he just woke up or an hour or so before his scheduled bedtime, you will want to do your best to play with him, make him laugh, play patty-cakes or just make silly sounds…all to try to keep him awake until it’s time to go to sleep.

4. SAFE SLEEP  - Experts seem to agree that placing the baby on his back is the best position for safe sleep. Some mothers put their children on their sides, but research indicates there is a slightly higher occurrence of SIDS for babies who sleep on their sides. You will also want to be sure your baby’s crib meets safety standards and that you remove excess cushions and blankets to prevent the baby from suffocating. Remove toys from the crib and be sure the crib is in a safe place and that there is nothing the baby can reach on the outside of the crib that can harm him. Your precious one depends on you to keep him safe.

5. JUST CHILL – Be sure your little one gets lots of attention with playful and educational activities long before it’s bedtime. Even a soothing bath won’t calm him down if he’s too keyed up. All that activity is a wonderful part of his development, but if you don’t start winding down at a decent time, you are going to have a little wide-eyed baby boy and a long night on your hands. Always revert back to the number one tip to help your baby sleep so you can too. Be consistent!

The Lord created us to need sleep. Your bundle of joy may need more than you do, but you certainly need sleep too. So make sure mommy gets her sleep by helping baby get his. It may be a bit demanding and even monotonous, but you’ll be happy you did.

“I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalms 4:8

 

 

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Breastfeeding Basics

December 2, 2011 By

Although we know breast milk is best, breastfeeding isn’t always possible. And for some, it’s even a little scary.

It’s normal to feel a bit anxious about breastfeeding – especially if it’s your first time. But as we look at the basics of breastfeeding it may just help you understand it better and fear it less.

It’s really very natural. The God of all creation equipped babies with rooting and sucking instincts as well as an appetite for mommy’s milk.

That very same God also gave women mammary glands to produce the milk their sweet little bundle of joy needs.

Your baby comes into the world peeking at her new surroundings, stretching like she’s never stretched before and within a couple of hours, shes’ rooting around in search of food.

For the first few days your breast produces colostrum. It’s thick, yellowish and gooey, but it’s full of everything your baby needs to fill her belly and give her the nutrition she needs. Colustrum even provides antibiotic qualities and aids in developing her digestive track and preparing it for the real stuff.

By the end of the second week, your milk should be considered ‘mature milk’ and you and your precious baby should be on your way to feeling comfortable with breastfeeding.

Probably one of the most troubling aspects to breastfeeding is that you can measure what she eats so you have no way of knowing whether she has had enough or not. But your body and hers are on hookup. About the time her belly is crying out for more milk, your body is crying out to release it.

Since it’s normal for a baby to lose a little weight during the first week or so, you can’t help but wonder if she is getting enough milk to fill and nourish her. But babies have a great way of letting mommies know when they are still hungry. They cry.

Obviously, not every cry comes from a growling tummy, but putting her to your breast will help you distinguish whether or not your milk will settle her down or not.

Babies generally nurse for about 10 to 20 minutes on each breast and since newborns tend to nurse when hungry, you may find yourself nursing somewhere between 8 and 12 times every 24 hours. It won’t be long before you get into a routine and she’s eating about every two hours and then every four hours.

If you struggle with breastfeeding or are concerned in anyway, please be sure to contact your doctor or the pediatrician. Here are a few things to look out for:

  • your breasts become red, swollen, hard, or sore
  • your breast develop an unusual discharge or you have bleeding from your nipples
  • your baby isn’t gaining weight or you don’t think she’s getting enough milk

These things are very unlikely to occur, but if they do, don’t worry. Just call your doctor and set your heart at ease.

Remember…breastfeeding is very natural. You and your baby are both fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of the universe and as a mother, this is all part of His beautiful design. So hang in there sweet mom! You’ve got exactly what the precious baby needs and you can do it!

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