How Parents Support (and Sabotage) Student Success (Part I)

May 9, 2012 By

As parents, we want to help our children succeed in school.

In my twenty-two years as a classroom teacher (twenty-one as a parent), I’ve seen parent strategies that pay big dividends.

I’ve also seen well-intentioned efforts that actually cost the kids.

Today, I’m going to start a series in which we explore one support strategy and one form of sabotage.

Support 1:  Help your child learn their multiplication tables. 

Through the 20s. As soon as possible. I’m not suggesting “super baby” tactics. But do take advantage of edutainment software programs that will drill your child over and over again. Make your mantra, “We’re gonna keep on trying ‘til we get ‘em all right!”

A parent once accused me of giving “way too much” math homework. It was unreasonable for me to expect her 7th grader to spend 2 hours a night on math! I agreed and asked if we could go through a few math problems together with the student.

As we walked through the problems together on the white board, the mother was dismayed to hear her daughter struggling with basic multiplication facts: “4×6…21? 27? 22?”  She soon realized that I wasn’t giving 2 hours of homework each night. The problem was her daughter’s lack of basic math skills, which caused 20 minutes worth of homework to stretch on forever.

Once this student’s multiplication skills were up to speed, her homework time decreased, while her confidence–and enjoyment of math–rose.

Sabotage 1:  Talk negatively about the teacher to your child. 

The mother in the example above had been blaming me to her daughter for several months before she talked directly to me. This gave her daughter license to get mouthy with me in class, “forget” her homework, and “lose” her notes.

After we met, the mother started telling her daughter that I was a caring capable teacher. She instructed her to sit in the front row, listen, and take notes. She called and e-mailed me often to make sure her daughter was turning in homework and paying attention in class.

At first, the student resented me for bringing her mother “over to the dark side.” But as her math grades improved, she soon considered me a “favorite” teacher not because of anything I was doing differently but because of the changes in her mother’s–and her own–attitude toward me.

I’ve always remembered, and tried to emulate, one parent who spoke with utmost respect about all teachers while within her child’s hearing. When she needed to express a concern or disagreement during a parent-teacher conference, she excused her child, “talked turkey” with the teacher, and then moved back into your-teacher-and-I-are-in-this-together mode when the child returned.

How do you support your child’s school success? How might you be engaging in well-intentioned sabotage?

By Cheri Gregory

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18 Memory Making Ideas for Summertime Fun

April 19, 2012 By

“There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1

I love the summer! Everything is alive and lively. The days are longer, the air smells sweeter, the kids are out of school and it’s time to play!

Unfortunately, when my children were young, I often found school was knocking on the door of our summer fun before we really got to enjoy the season that seemed to all-too-quickly slip through our fingers.

Making memories with our kids means we have to intentionally plan our days; purposely putting some things on the back burner and giving up certain daily routines and replacing them with some family time.

Below is a list of ideas that might spark your creative fuel. You can also go to your city’s website and look at the calendar of events. If you don’t find one, go to one of your local television station’s websites. You should be able to find out what’s going on in your town through one of those outlets.

So grab the family, the camera and a smile and get busy making memories!

1. A DAY AT THE ZOO - They are normally inexpensive and if you’re on a budget, pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler.

2. A JOURNEY TO YOUR LOCAL PARKS – Map out a few of the parks in your local area and see how many of them you can hit in a day. Take pictures at every park you visit. Pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler and have a picnic in the park. Stop by the store, develop your pictures and when you get home make a fun family timeline of your exscursions with your pics.

3. A DAY AT THE MUSEUM – Take the family to the museum. Enjoy taking pictures in front of the attractions. To make a day of it, take your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler.

4. THEME PARKS – Most towns have some sort of theme park within a three hour radius. Save up and take the family to one of the theme parks in your area. Again, you can pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler and save money by eating outside of the gate. The walk back will give you enough time to enjoy the rides when you get back in. :-)

5. PLAY TENNIS AT A LOCAL PARK – You may not be able to join a team, but many parks have tennis courts where you can play for free. If you don’t know the rules, you can either take the time to learn them or just do what I do – make them up as you go.

6. HAVE FUN IN THE SUN – Spend a day at the beach, lake, river or pool in your community. Be sure to pack your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler. Contrary to popular belief, sun is good for you. So get out there and absorb all the vitamin D you can…just don’t get a sunburn – and use sunscreen, especially if you’re fair skinned.

7. VBS OR BACKYARD BIBLE CLUBS – Be part of making an eternal difference in your kid’s and other kid’s lives. If your church doesn’t have anything going this summer, ask if you can help at another church and let your children join the fun there. You may want to put on your own backyard Bible club to reach out to your neighbors. Ask some families to help you and make your neighborhood your mission field.

8. TAKE A HIKE – Many towns have a natural habitat area that offers hikes and exhibits. You’ll not only want to take your lunches (and drinks) in a cooler, but you’ll want to take your binoculars too.

9. GO CAMPING – That’s right…tent and all…take your kids for a good, old fashioned camping trip. Hotdogs on the grill, marshmallows over the fire and all the mosquitos you can imagine. There’s really nothing like it!

10. BIKE RIDING – Go on bike trail and enjoy the ride. Stop, smell the roses, hang out and enjoy the lunch you packed (with drinks) in the cooler :-)

11. SKATE-BOWL - That’s right! Go skating and bowling all in the same day. Kind of a marathon fun day.

12. TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME – Go to a major or minor league baseball game. Hoot and holler for your favorite team together. Don’t forget to eat all the hot dogs and pop corn you can!

13. GO FISH - Take your family on a fishing trip. If you can’t bait your own hook, tell your son it’s time he learn :-) OR just use the fake stuff. You’ll have fun whether you catch anything or not.

14. INDOOR GAME DAY - Plan a day for indoor games. Get a few families together or just hang out with your own family and spend the day playing games. Board games, card games or make up your own (This time you won’t have to pack your lunch). :-)

15. A TRIP TO THE LIBRARY – Local libraries often offer summer reading programs. You can spend the day at the library and join in the activities.

16. DO SOME GOOD – It’s always a good idea to look for ways to make a difference in the lives of others. Paint an elderly neighbors house or mow his/her lawn. Work in a local homeless shelter. Volunteer to help at a local nursing home. Find a way to do good – it will do you all good!

17. CRAFT SMORGASBORD - Organize an all-crafts day in which your children can choose from 3 or 4 different crafts that they can actually complete them. There are great benefits to knowing they have accomplished something and being able to hold a tangible object made with their own hands.

18. COLLECT FOOD AND CLOTHES FOR THE NEEDY - Rather than just volunteering at a local homeless shelter, make it a family project to collect food and clothing for a homeless shelter or for needy families.

So there you have it…a few ideas to intentionally plan the upcoming days with memories instead of wasted moments. (If I could do it all over again, I’d schedule two or three activities a week.) Don’t forget your camera for all your events so you can decorate your home with the memories you make. Dedicate a wall for your summer pictures, cover your refrigerator with the fun-filled photos. Whatever you do…make memories…intentionally.

By Stephanie Shott

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Raising a Reader

March 26, 2012 By

3 steps to foster a love of books starting from birth!

“What can I do now to prepare my children to succeed in school?” I’m often asked when I speak to MOPS groups.

In this age of computerized everything, my low-tech answer raises eyebrows. “Books and reading…followed by more books and more reading…and after that, even more books and even more reading!” is my standard reply.

Thanks to Jim Trelease’s Read Aloud Handbook (http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/), Daniel and I became fanatical about Family Reading Time when our kids were just 2 and 4. We quit watching TV and spent 1-2 hours per night cuddled under blankets together on the couch, reading and reading and reading.

Now 18 and 20, Jonathon and Annemarie have both received substantial college scholarships for their strong SAT scores (Jonathon scored a perfect 800 in Reading, in fact!) Neither spent time practicing or attending special review classes; Family Reading Time provided them both with 18 years of “SAT Prep”!

And both of our children remember Family Reading Time as the best part of the day. We recently brainstormed a list of the hundreds of books we’ve read together over the years; as the kids shouted out titles, they added commentary like “Oh, I loved the James Harriott books!” and “Dad’s Screwtape voice was scary!” Both are very vocal about their plans to raise their own children low-tech with lots and lots of books and reading.

Step 1: Read Aloud as a Family

WHY?

1) to condition your child’s brain to associate reading with enjoyment

2) to build your child’s “listening vocabulary”

WHEN?

If it matters, we’ll make it happen. By the Personalities, Family Reading Time matters for a Sanguine because it’s FUN, for a Melancholy because it’s MEANINGFUL, for a Choleric because it promotes ACHIEVEMENT, and for a Phlegmatic because it involves CONNECTION.

WHAT?

Birth – Teething Soft books & board books

Toddler – Preschool Identifying books & short story books

As soon as there’s interest Early Chapter books

HOW?

Give it all you’ve got!

Appeal to all three primary learning modalities: auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.

Become a “Drama Queen” and ham it up with special voices, dramatic pacing and

pauses, and crazy facial expressions.

What about times when you have nothing left to give?

Audiobooks! You can relax on the couch with your child, turn the pages, and enjoy a book read wonderfully by a professional. Making your own audiobooks is also a fabulous family activity (and they make marvelous gifts!)

 

2. Model Reading for Your Child

WHY?

1) You are a living commercial for reading. Your child wants to imitate being “all grown up.” So being “all grown up” needs to include enjoyment of reading!

2) You need to feed your mind and heart consistently as a woman, a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter, etc. Authors make wonderful mentors for your many roles!

WHEN?

Establish Mom’s Reading Spot & Time…you deserve it!

Also, keep books in the car, in your purse, in the kitchen, on your nightstand.

Don’t just read behind closed (bathroom!) doors; your kids need to see you reading!

WHAT?

Read what you need! Parenting advice…the Bible…humor…children’s books…poetry…

HOW?

One chapter…or page…or line at a time. (Remember the days of staying up all night to finish a gripping novel? Those days are gone…long gone!)

 

3. Make Reading Materials Available (lots & lots!)

WHY?

Research is clearly demonstrates that children with the most books at home have

1) the greatest interest in reading, and

2) the highest reading scores once they learn to read.

WHEN?

Use your judgment as a parent. I am not advocating spoiling your child or conditioning him/her that you will buy books whenever (s)he demands them! Use your discretion. I found it best to shop for books without my children and keep them tucked away.

WHAT?

Aim for a wide variety! Books…magazines…letters/e-mails from friends and

relatives…audiobooks…”books” your child has made…photo albums with journaling…

HOW?

Bookstores

Amazon.com (with a Prime membership you get free 2-day delivery!)

used book stores

half.com (my favorite used book site)

Moms’ book exchange

Ask for books & specific magazine subscriptions as gifts (in lieu of more “stuff”!)

THE LIBRARY

 

Q4U:  What are your family’s favorite books to read aloud together?

By Cheri Gregory

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“Teacher Trouble: P.T.A. Assignment”

January 6, 2012 By

They take backpacks filled with folders, pencils, and hopes for a great year. When conversations begin creating a picture of your child’s school year, you may discover you’re assigned something you didn’t request. You may be scheduled for “teacher trouble.” 

“How could anyone be unkind to my child?” we wonder. “Why are they so harsh?” we ask.  And “That didn’t seem like a professional way to handle that,” we mutter. We try to think positively, be understanding, and let the year get started. But once underway, parents may find they have, indeed, been signed up for “teacher trouble”. How do godly parents take action to build up their child, while resolving problems and having a godly testimony? The answer is found in the P.T.A.

Be a Prayer Warrior … Supply Truth and Trust.

Standing at the school doors reading the class lists the night before school started, it was clear which parents were already distraught. Some clapped with joy. Others huddled in whispers as children looked on, wondering what tyrants they were sentenced to. One little girl looked on, face full of concern, eyes welled up with tears, a sense of fear covering her usually cheerful face as she anticipated “teacher trouble.”

True or not, reactions feed possibly unfounded ideas. When concerns are real, the mama bear syndrome arises. Instead of going to the phone, go to the throne! From the truth in James 5:16, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous {mom} avails much.”  Children need to learn to go to the Author of Truth, calling out to the One Who knows all their days, kindergarten to college.

When we teach our children to pray because God is in control, we also impart what it means to Trust Him. As we show we are trusting in our Heavenly Father for our cares, we lead them in learning to trust Him, too.

The mother and the little girl who cried at her assignment before school began prayed for help in her classroom challenges. They discovered that their Heavenly Father had given her the perfect teacher, a teacher equipped with the love and flexibility that she would need as her year unfolded. As they prayed, they learned to seek Truth and to Trust.

Be a Teacher … Supply Reality and Respect.

Trouble is a teachable moment for parents. When children interact with other adults, they get a lesson in Reality. Conflict lets us examine ourselves, seeing our true nature. Children need to be guided in seeing their weaknesses, as well as sin’s impact on others. The reality of living with others provides children with opportunities to learn submission to authority.

James encourages us to rejoice when we have trials, “knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience … that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing,” James 1:3,4. In fact, Romans 5 tells us we can glory in tribulations, because they ultimately produce perseverance, character, and hope. In Reality, challenges with a coach or teacher are opportunities for children to develop character.

In guiding students through lessons, we apply Truth to life’s troubles, so we are in the world, but not “like” it. Jesus prayed we would be protected from Evil, but not that we would be removed from the tests of life. By helping children find answers in God’s Word, they learn that Truth makes a difference in Real life.

Godly parents approach teacher trouble by speaking truth in love, with Respect. Children see and hear this. One year my daughter had a teacher who was publically humiliating and cruel to students. Several weeks into the year, I prayerfully wrote a careful letter to the teacher. It respectfully communicated truth, and it was effective. The teacher was never again unkind to my daughter or to me.

Be an Advocate … Supply Wisdom and Words.

A serious incident prompted a call to a first grader’s mother. The response on my desk was a letter of hateful accusations. Excusing myself, I asked my teaching partner to cover my classroom while I pulled myself together, praying over the tsunami of words. That night, I phoned the parent to answer the attack. Instead, I was met with personal confessions, unrelated feelings, and desperate apologies. She wanted the words back.

There may come a time when God prompts us to be an Advocate for our child. When that time comes, our student needs to see Wisdom in our timing and manner. After a foundation of prayer and a filter of truth, we need to be “slow to speak and slow to wrath,” James 1:19. Children learn from words spoken directly to and about the offending adult. Confrontation requires wisdom and godly words. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him,” James 1:5. “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances,” Proverbs 25:11 (NASB).

As students encounter others in the classrooms of life, they will sometime experience “teacher trouble.” Embrace the test as a Prayer Warrior, Teacher, and Advocate for your child, helping them learn God has answers for the challenges of life at any age.

Here are 10 ways you can pray for your teacher:

  1. Ask God to give the teacher a desire to know Him or to know Him more.
  2. Pray that they would see the positive qualities in each child and appreciate them.
  3. Pray that they would discern the academic needs and personal needs of each child.
  4. Ask the Lord to give them energy, health, and strength for their work.
  5. Pray that they might have fresh patience and creativity, daily.
  6. Pray that the teacher would seek help when needed and would feel supported.
  7. Ask God to give them heavenly wisdom to deal with conflicts and concerns.
  8. Pray that they would experience the joys of teaching.
  9. Pray that the teacher will grow in compassion, skill, and insight.
  10. Ask God to show you how you can actively encourage and help the teacher.

Have you experienced ‘Teacher Trouble” before? Has this offered you a different perspective to how to handle teacher trouble when it comes your way?

By: Julie Sanders

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