Moms are meant to graduate

May 15, 2013 By Julie Sanders

I’m graduating this week. Sunday was a Baccalaureate service for our oldest child, and the week will wrap up with the commencement of her Class of 2013. While my long-ago-little girl takes exams and anticipates her diploma, I’m doing some evaluating of my own. I’ve been the best mom I could be, but I have not been a perfect mom. Is mommy guilt seeping in? A mom can’t help but ask herself if she did the right things, made too many mistakes, or gave her children a good example to follow.

Did my children see me?

… read my Bible enough?
… smile often?
… hug their daddy?
… ignore my phone while driving?
… make dinner?
… call my own mom?
… drink 8 glasses of water a day?
… be active instead of a couch potato?
… make the bed most days?
… read good books?

On this graduation week, I am keenly aware I was not meant to keep my children with me for a lifetime. I was supposed to graduate to a new season of mothering. And I will … whether or not I’m ready. Pulling out pictures of pre-school and braces and sleepovers (to decorate for our Open House) stirred up lots of joy and smiles and gratitude. How thankful I am for the daughter I see trying on her cap and gown in front of the mirror upstairs; she delights my heart. But from somewhere deep in my mom-heart, doubts and regrets arise, like wondering if I could’ve done extra credit before the semester was over. I laid a lot of “what if’s” and “wish I woulda’s” and “maybe I shoulda’s” on my myself.

And then I read Isaiah 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray;we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

To a mom in any stage who wonders if she did well enough or even did enough, the perfect, heavenly Parent says, “I know you’ve been imperfect. You all have, and I knew you would. I never expected you to be a perfect mother. I have taken all of your parenting failures, moments of inadequacy, bad mommy-moments, and human habits, and I have laid that on top of my Son who took them away for you. Be free to celebrate the person I am making your child to be, because I am working in their life and in yours too. My Son the Lamb has carried off your blunders. Enjoy.”

Perfection is not a requirement for graduations from pre-school or high school or college … or seasons of motherhood. Let’s not let doubts or regrets rob us of the joy purchased for us by our heavenly Daddy who invites us to dance through our mothering journey with a free and confident heart.

By Julie Sanders

Filed Under: Empty Nesters, Julie Sanders, Parenting, Relationships, School Days, Single Moms Tagged With: Being a mom, encouragement, jesus, mommy guilt, Parenting, School, Successful Parenting, Teens 10 Comments

EXPECTANT: Growing a life while growing a family

May 4, 2013 By Julie Sanders

A track-mom friend stood by the fence as we cheered our senior girls across the finish line in their last high school race last night. And then my friend did something I didn’t expect. She reached over and hugged me, smiling with teary eyes.

Then I did something I didn’t expect. I had a flashback to bottles and blankets. Swallowing a surprise gulp of my own, I reminded myself that this growing up and moving on thing is good. We don’t have children to keep them forever, but when my husband placed our baby girl in my arms over eighteen years ago, I wasn’t imagining ever letting her go. Preparing to launch one of my birds out of the nest stirs up emotions I didn’t expect. I’ve warned my patient husband to brace himself for some tears. It seems that as we grow a family, we grow as women. This being a mom has been so much that I hoped for and so much more than I ever imagined.

Throughout the journey of motherhood, we add unexpected events and emotions like silver charms on a bracelet. Ever mom knows what it is to anticipate the gift of a child, their stages of growth, and the joys along the way. Baby books reserve spots for those milestones, though no one looks forward to the challenges and the heartaches; they are part of mothering too. As a child grows, so grows a mama’s hopes.

A variety of doorways lead women into motherhood, but whatever their paths of entry, all moms know what it is to have a heart that is truly expectant.

I was mentoring a group of young wives when their hearts started to turn with anticipation to their mothering hopes. Each took her own unique path, some encountering surprises right away and others finding it downright painful. Despite the age of my two teenagers who sometimes wandered by as our group chatted, my days of hoping and growing and delivering didn’t seem that long ago. Mothers have a love for mothering other mothers.

As their questions flowed and their hearts opened, I began to write inspirations for them while they grew into motherhood: God’s truth and practical wisdom about their own changes, the other adults in their lives, the children of their wombs and their hearts, and the new normal they couldn’t yet picture. I included transparent stories for when they long to talk to someone who understands … in the middle of the night. Always, my heart hoped to create a gift to uplift sweet women growing into moms.

Now those mamas chase little ones on Sunday mornings. One day they may watch their toddlers-turned-teens run their own last high school races, and they may be surprised at the well of emotions in yet another unexpected motherhood moment. Because of their expectant hearts, an eBook collection of devotions for new and expectant moms called “Expectant” was born.

I’m holding on to the words of Proverbs 3:5-6 as tightly now as I did when we first brought JoHanna home from the hospital. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Those words have served me well as a mom, and I pray Jo will take them with her and hold on to them tightly, like she once held on to her blanket. We will trust the Lord as we grow into a new mother-child season.

Expectant is about growing your life while growing a family. If you’re beginning your journey of motherhood or have a friend or loved on who is, this is for that mother with an Expectant heart. I pray your story will be all you’ve hoped for and so much more than you imagined.

To read more about EXPECTANT go here. And buy EXPECTANT for your Kindle or Kindle App here.

by Julie Sanders

Filed Under: During Pregnancy, During Pregnancy (Mom & Baby), Julie Sanders, Newborn & Baby, Parenting Tagged With: Being a mom, devotions, encouragement, How do I parent, Motherhood, parenting advice, Prayer, pregnancy Leave a Comment

What your mission trip is missing & The Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle ($640 Value for $29.97)

May 1, 2013 By Julie Sanders

This time of year many women prepare for short term missions trips. They get shots, plan testimonies, pray together, pack suitcases, and learn about culture. But one of the greatest potential impacts of a missions team experience often gets overlooked: mentoring on mission.

In addition to trying unfamiliar food and bathroom facilities, members of cross-cultural teams are stretched physically and spiritually. Whether it happens on village paths or city pavement, mission trips are good ground for growth.

Last year I led a team of four women and four teenage girls to Northern Thailand for a ministry trip. Preparing the team for the culture, pace, climate, and purpose of our trip was crucial, but just that was a limited focus. Especially when teams combine varied ages, part of ministry is mentoring. Each woman was assigned a teen girl as a mentee; they met monthly for preparation, accountability, prayer, and bonding. Even though some moms & daughters were on the team, the mentoring relationships built into our teens and strengthened our team. Once on the field, the relationships set us up for more effective ministry cross-culturally.

Instead of limiting our focus to national co-workers and their target groups, use a wider angle lens to include the younger members of the team. By serving with youth, we plant global understanding in the hearts of the next generation, and we pave the way for future leaders. God may use our influence in cross-cultural settings to steer the life of a younger woman.

Be passionate about the culture to go to reach, but also be passionate about reaching younger members of your team. “I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.” (Psalm 89:1) How can you mentor younger women on mission teams?

Mentoring happens on mission when:

You invite her participation
You get to know younger team members
You look for and nurture her gifts
You speak words of encouragement
You pray with her on the go, as you serve
Before the trip – You ask good questions, listen to her thoughts, affirm her contributions
After the trip – You ask good questions, listen to her thoughts, affirm her contributions

A new culture, fast pace, different language, and changes in plans may leave them feeling overwhelmed. Teens may be insecure and unsure of how they can help. The opportunity to serve cross-culturally will stir their hearts and, perhaps, their dreams about their future.

Your greatest ministry may be in the life of a younger team member from your own hometown.

And if you aren’t on a team yourself, how about sending a card, chatting over coffee, or texting to encourage that teen who’s widening her world and stepping out in faith? You can have a mission mentoring ministry right from your home.

Missions and mentoring cross over at a beautiful intersection when women look for ways to build into younger team members. Your heart to “mother others” has the potential to bear fruit in far away places and right at home.

____________________________________________________________________

The M.O.M. Initiative is a ministry devoted to taking Titus 2 to the streets and making mentoring intentionally missional…and as a way of help to support this ministry, The M.O.M. Initiative is offering an affiliate link that provides you with a great group of resources at a very low cost. SEE THE LIST BELOW to check out what you get for only $29.97! (A $640 Value)

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It is your responsibility to download and back-up your purchase within the 1-month download time-frame. With proof of purchase, we can renew download links up until August 1st, 2013. After this date we will no longer have access to the books and will not be able to provide any new links to download.
Due to the nature of this sale, there will be no refunds available.However, we would invite you to read our Frequently Asked Questions page to learn more about the file types, the download process, how the bonus offers work, etc.

This post includes affiliate links, and I make a small portion of each sale. Thank you for investing in this ministry by purchasing The Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle through The M.O.M. Initiative!

Filed Under: Adoption & Fostering, Blended Families, Uncategorized Leave a Comment

How to get kids to help with Spring Cleaning

April 20, 2013 By Julie Sanders

There was a day when I imagined that when our children could drive, apply for college, and deposit a pay check, they would help with Spring Cleaning without even being asked. I was deluded. There will never come a time when the woman of the house doesn’t have to get her hands dirty in guiding her family in the care and cooperation of her home.

If you want to get your kids to help with Spring Cleaning, you have to throw out your rotten habits and bring in some fresh ones. Kids of every age need moms to encourage, equip, and empower them to be involved in caring for the home they share with their family. By successfully engaging children in the work of the household, we prepare them to be responsible (and clean?) when they have a home of their own.

Throw out your rotten habits

Nagging ~ Because it never works. Repeated negative messages suggest frustration, lack of confidence, and opposition. If you want kids to help with Spring Cleaning, “Bag the nag” and get started!
Long Lists ~ Because they set kids up for failure. Instead of putting long, insurmountable goals in writing, craft short, attainable, age appropriate tasks your child can achieve. Teach them how good it feels to complete work.
Isolation ~ Because we’re on the same team. Isolation can feel like punishment. Children of all ages need mentoring to turn their work into learning opportunities. Kids benefit from our company as we work side by side and let relationships grow while tasks are done.
Criticism ~ Because it crushes the spirit. When children do their age-appropriate best (or husbands, for that matter) we either reinforce our joy at their diligence or teach them they can not do enough to satisfy us. Dishwasher filled inefficiently? Clothes folded imperfectly? Resist the urge to “re-do” their work. Guide when necessary, but appreciate always.

Bring fresh in to the house

Tools ~ Because it’s fun! Appropriately sized equipment for your child communicates that you desire their participation, plan for their regular involvement, and value their contribution. Get the right tools to make work easier to do, and set them up for success.
Rewards ~ Because something motivates everyone. You don’t need to pay children to help maintain their own home, but give “rewards” they long for: appreciation, hugs, praise, rest. Help them learn the valuable lesson that hard work brings blessing.
Information ~ Because kids ask “Why?” Your kids are smart! Give them reasons behind the work we do. Why DO windows need to be cleaned? Why DO we change our sheets? Show them a picture of a peaceful room and talk about why it would feel good to be there. There are answers for “Why?” questions.
Learning ~ Because knowing leads to growing. Starting at home, children learn to feel competent and confident about their world and their part in it. As they understand the care of a home, they’ll feel more self-assured about establishing one of their own. Or you could do their laundry forever …

One day our kids will grow up and have homes of their own. Like us, they will have the potential to let household things overtake them: laundry, dust, clutter, and mess. This spring, let’s clean out our rotten habits and bring in a fresh supply of good practices so we teach our kids the joy of keeping a house as a home.

By Julie Sanders at Come Have a Peace

Filed Under: Character Counts, Childhood, Home, Julie Sanders, Parenting, Responsibilities, Teens Tagged With: Character, chores, Discipline, parenting advice, Spring Cleaning, Successful Parenting, Teens Leave a Comment

Raising kids with the urge to lead

March 22, 2013 By Julie Sanders

John C. Maxwell said that “Everything rises and falls with leadership,” so if our children are to have a strong future, we must raise strong leaders. In less than a week, the United States Supreme Court will hear the Perry Case to determine if the 2008 proposition voted in by the people of California to protect marriage is constitutional or not. We will all feel the ripple effects. Our children will live and raise their families in the wake of the decision.

Moms are raising kids in an atmosphere antagonistic to the family, and the same is true in much of the world. How can a mom raise her child with the urge to lead?

Leadership begins at home, takes root in the church, and bears fruit in the world. Moms today follow in the footsteps of mothers who release their once-babes to become leaders in their day.

Jochebed had precious little time to retrieve Moses and train him in a home that feared the true God, before she had to release him to the house of the Pharaoh. Even in the great family of Egypt, God was with him and steered his path to leadership.

Hannah’s time with Samuel was treasured before she willingly opened her hands to offer her only son back to the Lord. Still, she mothered him at chosen times and from a distance, adding to the firm foundation that would be his platform for leadership.

Elderly Elizabeth raised up her only son John to be a man of the wild, a grown son whose one purpose was to lead people to the Messiah. Ultimately, her son’s life would be an earthly sacrifice with a heavenly reward.

Mary knew from the beginning that her Son Jesus was not her own, but the very child of God. She nursed and nurtured him, raising him for purposes she could not conceive. God used a humble woman to raise the God-child who would lead captives free from death and into an eternity of restoration.

If mothers today are to raise children to be leaders, we must face the urge to lead.

Mothering with the urge to lead

Resist the urge to rescue. Children learn to depend on God, understand their design, and manage conflict when mothers choose to let children encounter hardship.
Feed the urge to pray. Every mother knows she will raise her child to leave her, but God will never leave them. The best gift we can give our children is a habit-heritage of calling on their Heavenly Father.
Overcome the urge to interfere. Children will not lead if mothers solve all of their problems. If we step in to fix trouble and buffer our kids from life’s challenges, we keep them from developing a response to the need to lead.
Nurture the urge to encourage. Mothers have atomic power to lift children to higher hopes and courageous confidence. The world will stifle the moral ambitions and godly initiatives of future leaders, so moms need to strengthen their hearts as they grow.
Cultivate the urge to model. Children learn more from how we live than how we lecture. When children see parents impacting their world as servant-leaders in the home, and in the community, they will see their own potential to impact their world.

Everything does rise and fall on leadership, so let’s raise kids with the urge to lead.

Filed Under: Character Counts, Julie Sanders, MOM Stuff, Parenting Tagged With: Character, encouragement, How do I parent, influence, jesus, parenting advice, Successful Parenting, trusting God 8 Comments

QbyUand4U: Getting kids to eat fruits & veggies & TMI Link Up

February 18, 2013 By Julie Sanders

At one time or another, I think every mom wonders if she is mothering a child worthy of an expose on 20/20. Some children struggle with medical or emotional challenges expressed in eating habits that require the help of a trained therapist, nutritionist, or doctor. But when one of our moms asked, “How do we get our kids to eat more fruits and vegetables?” the mom audience collectively nodded their heads. It’s time for a “Question by U and 4U!”

Most children aren’t born craving broccoli. If your kids beg for brussel sprouts on their birthday, just go ahead and skip to the comments and tell us what your secrets are! But for all the rest of us, let’s talk about how to move kids from milk to mangoes in a day when chicken nuggets are made to look like rock stars. Like generations before us, we just want our kids to eat their fruits and veggies!

Is good nutrition worth the battle? Even though we know children need a wide array of vitamins, minerals, and fiber, moms often give in when faced with pouty lipped, arms crossed, nugget loving children. How can we encourage healthy eating without having to do battle?

Model the diet you want for your kids. Be honest here … do you only eat an apricot when it’s in “jam form” in the middle of a pastry? Kids learn from what we choose to eat.
Don’t put junk where good stuff should go. If they turn up their nose at pineapple, don’t shrug your shoulders and trade it for Pringles.
Persevere if it matters … because it does. It doesn’t count as a failure after one rejection or five or ten. Start before they’re using silverware, and then keep putting healthy options in front of your children in every single stage of their life.
Think like a florist and cook like an artist. Create a palette of food on your child’s plate that is varied and colorful, a display of different shapes and textures. Invite their help, their touching and their sampling. Make preparation, serving, and eating a joyful journey of the senses.
Talk it up before you serve it up. Tell your children how thankful you are for the food you have and describe its wonderful qualities. Explain how God has given us the gift of fruits and vegetables to meet our needs and bring us pleasure. When you pray, thank Him for the gifts He’s given.

“And God said, ‘Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.’ And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day” (Genesis 1:11-13).

Like any other healthy habit you train your children to practice, choosing a healthy diet pays dividends their whole life. In April 2008 The Journal of School Health reported that children who regularly eat vegetables and fruits do better academically than children with poor diets. Good nutrition produces increased attention to learn, greater energy levels, more desire for activity, stronger emotional balance, digestive well-being, and better sleep patterns. That’s worth taking the time to keep fruits and veggies on hand and ready to serve to children learning to choose what will help them grow strong for a healthy future.

And by the way, both of our kids beg for brussel sprouts on their birthdays! I’m not kidding. I drizzle the sprouts with olive oil and sprinkle a little sea salt and roast them for about 30 minutes at 350. I eat a couple … because the kids are watching. It makes the florist and the artist and the mother in me so happy.

Click here for a nutrition resource for kids provided by the Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.

Shared by Julie Sanders

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Filed Under: Active Kids/Healthy Kids, Childhood, Health, Safety & Nutrition, Julie Sanders, Toddlers & Preschool Tagged With: How do I parent, nutrition, parenting advice 16 Comments

How to Get into Your Child’s Classroom

January 30, 2013 By Julie Sanders

The year Lori’s oldest son Max was in my first grade classroom, she often came to work one on one with children, assist in projects, or partner read. Since she had an infant, she would bring a car seat with her little one strapped in to sleep while she helped out or just spent time in the room. Max loved school that year and blossomed in every way.

A few weeks into Max’s second grade year, Lori stopped by after school one day to ask me a question. There at the classroom door, her eyes filled with tears as she said, “What should I do? I want to be part of Max’s school world this year, but the teacher said she really doesn’t have a place for parents in the classroom.” Sometimes it isn’t easy to get into your child’s classroom.

As a teacher, I found an occasional over-zealous parent who secretly wanted to watch my every move and scope out other children, but most parents just really want to be informed and included in their child’s school life. Classrooms are better when parents are welcome.

How classrooms benefit from parental involvement

Children feel more secure and thrive.
Learning needs are more readily addressed.
Parents have a more realistic view of their child.
Teachers have a lighter work load.
Schools find partners in the community.
Everyone wins.

The reason many classroom doors are hard to pry open boils down to fear: Fear from teachers that they will be criticized, that parents will get their feelings hurt, that children will be distracted, that gossip will be spread, or that the work load will become heavier. Parents can make a difference if they hope to find a “Welcome to School” sign up at school.

How parents create open classroom doors

When germs get the teacher sick, send a card or baked good.

When there’s a chance to talk about the teacher, be positive.

When you’re at school, respect the teacher’s time.

When you visit, be a pleasure, not a burden.

When your child is near, enjoy, but don’t dote.

When there’s a special topic, offer specific skills or resources.

When chaperones are needed for field trips, be willing.

When you observe the teacher & other students, be confidential.

When you know about classroom challenges, be a praying parent.

When the doors are open, go in! Start out by:

Putting your best foot forward: send in paperwork and fees asap.

Sending in requested supplies. In cold season, send more tissues!

Volunteering when a request goes out for a room parent.

Being there if Back to School night is offered.

Asking the teacher how you can be of help & support.

Remember that the teacher has a challenging job to do. Their planning time is critical; when students are there, the teacher’s attention is vital. Be flexible and productive, and make arrangements to leave smaller children at home so your presence isn’t a distraction (unless you have a sleeping babe like Lori or an easy toddler the teacher welcomes). Be a helpful, quiet “worker bee” in the room, but don’t interfere or interrupt.

A teacher is also “a person” with personal needs and circumstances of their own. When you have the chance, and you will, choose to first give your teacher grace and to speak well of them, even when it’s hard. Model respect before your child, and the teacher will be blessed. You may enjoy the sweetness of a parent-teacher friendship, but most of all, just be the teacher’s cheerleader and helper to make it possible for them to be the very best teacher for your child they can be.

Parents are a rich resource to make classroom environments better. Moms do well to study being the kind of parent every teacher hopes and prays for when the classroom door opens on the first day of school.

If you’re a teacher, what makes a parent welcome in your room?

If you’re a parent, how have you been able to participate at school?

By Julie Sanders at Come Have a Peace

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Filed Under: Education, Julie Sanders, Parenting, School Days Tagged With: Education, Parenting, School, traditional classrooms 7 Comments

A New Year’s Resolution Tool for Kids

January 1, 2013 By Julie Sanders

When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions, most of us can show our kids how to start well and fizzle out. Thankfully, we’ve seen how important it is to start this year by Remembering What Went Right. If we look ahead and aim for nothing, we’ll hit it every time. Goal setting is a skill to be learned.

January invites moms to teach their children how to reflect on the past year and smile at the future with some thoughtful planning. You can use a simple pattern to guide your child through basic reflection and goal setting for their new year. Even with a toddler, begin with prayer, showing your child how to invite God to show you what you need to see and to help you know what He wants for you.

Here are 5 simple questions and an illustrated tool to guide the discussion with your child. These questions can “grow” through the years to match the level of your child’s maturity and development.

Use the graphic at the end as a coloring page for younger children (print in black & white), or use it as a writing template for older kids. Either way, write down key words in their answers by each number, and display the graphic in their personal space to serve as a reminder. Review it throughout the year to help reinforce follow through, prayer, perseverance, faithfulness, humility, purpose, and accountability.

5 Questions for a Child’s New Year’s Resolutions

Where did I go this year? Reflect on how you spent your time, what was important to you, any victories won, challenges faced, and any lessons learned. This might mean learning going to camp, playing on a team, beginning to babysit, or earning a Bible memory award. Every child is different, so celebrate the path they traveled.
How did I grow this year? My body? My mind? My heart? My friends? This might be measured in inches, but it could also mean leaving Pull ups behind, conquering a fear of sleep overs, reading a first novel series, keeping a prayer journal, or reaching out to a new neighbor. Your child may be surprised at how they grew! (Four trees are labeled for you on the graphic tool.)
What new thing did I learn about God this year? Each part of the journey gives new insight into who God is and who He is to us. Did you learn that He is true, comforting, guiding, or holy? Maybe you learned how He answers prayer.
What new “place” would I like to go? Your child may really want to take up a new instrument, learn to ride a bike, or get a “grown up” Bible. January is a great time to do some dreaming together.
What is one new step I could take? You’re setting patterns for future resolution making, so aim for goals that are measurable. Want to be a better reader? Decide on one title of a new book to read and choose an end by date, then you can measure if you succeed! A wise man once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Most importantly, “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3 – NLT). To help you approach new year’s resolutions in a child-friendly way, use this graphic organizer with the kids in your life and you’ll both be able to smile at the road ahead.

Click here to download the free printable New Year’s Resolution Tool for Kids.

Let’s Cast Vision for our kids and their futures, and let’s teach them how to take a step on that path this year!

Filed Under: Character Counts, Julie Sanders, Parenting Tagged With: Discipline, God, How do I parent, Successful Parenting 4 Comments

A Christmas Gift for Daddy

December 23, 2012 By Julie Sanders

It’s too late. If you haven’t finished Christmas shopping for your husband, your time is up. Oh, you could fight the crowds, pray for a parking spot, wait in line, and buy him … a bag of jerky, but that’s not really what he wants.

On Christmas day, a mom can give her main man what he wants most: her respect. Christmas can become so focused on the children that a dad can feel like a toy dancing Santa … fun at first, but then only good to be put in a corner and ignored. Add in some holiday-inspired sarcasm from the love of his life, and he might feel like he belongs on the Island of Misfit Toys.

Moms long to make the holidays magical and meaningful, the crowning glory of the family year. If an enthusiastic mama isn’t careful, she may be so wrapped up in adding a “crown” to the family scrapbook that she fails to be the crown of her husband.

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4).

When mom respects dad, children follow.

A dad has the potential to simply become the last one out of bed, the guy who bags up the wrapping paper, the one who lights the fire, or the one who reads the verses. But he has the potential to be treated as so much more than that, and he should be.

Train your children to “thank Daddy” for their gifts, so they see the earthly expression of James 1:17.
Serve Daddy first at your holiday meal, to honor him; engage your kids in serving him, too.
Verbalize what’s in your heart, and let your kids hear: “I love to hear Daddy read the Christmas story.”
Whatever your abundance, affirm your man with words: “Thank you for working so hard for our family.”
Resist being preoccupied with preparations; stop and touch your man with a lingering hug or a kiss.

If we will give our husbands the gift of respect on Christmas day, our children will follow.

So there. You don’t have to fight that crowd, parallel park, or decide between Teriyaki or Spicy Buffalo jerky. You already have what will fill the heart of your husband with comfort and joy!

Is there a time in your Christmas day when your husband “shines?”

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Filed Under: Christmas, Holidays, Home & Holidays, Julie Sanders, Marriage, Relationships, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christmas, Holidays, marriage, Mother's Love 6 Comments

Have a Merry Marriage & The TMI Monday Link Up!

December 9, 2012 By Julie Sanders

A lot of work in decking the halls falls to Mom. A mother’s list is long when counting to Christmas, and it isn’t unheard of for there to be a casualty during the 12 (just 12?) days of Christmas. Does someone named “husband” feel like there’s no room for him in the inn this time of year?

Honestly, would your husband say your marriage is very merry in December? Would you?

While tackling gift lists, baking cookies, signing cards, and attending parties, a wife might feel like she only has time for her man when it’s time to hang the lights on the tree or pay off the credit card. In this season of peace on earth, shouldn’t we savor peace at home in our marriages? After all, Jesus came so that we could receive life and receive it abundantly (John 10:10). What better way to show God’s gift to mankind than in a joy-filled, peaceful marriage?

Even during the holidays, “It is not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 2:18a). It’s a truth that’s a little like fruitcake; it never expires! If a mother isn’t careful, she might find herself writing her own version of the classic marriage passage to say, “Therefore all year, except for Christmastime, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh eleven months out of the year” (Genesis 2:24, ital. mine).

As you celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace, you can enjoy the gift of a very Merry Marriage!

7 tips for a Merry Marriage

Spend time thinking about gifts for your man, not just your kids.

Be a joy to “hold fast” to, available emotionally and physically.

Wear something festive “in private.”

Holidays create challenges in “leaving” families of origin; be unified.

Christmas divas are on the naughty list; be easy going & to please.

Show love by staying within your mutually agreed on gift budget.

When you go to a company party, make him glad you’re on his arm!

So if the last time you and your guy cozied up was when you posed for that family Christmas card, it’s time to make a new to-do list:

Buy mistletoe and hang it in your home.
Turn off all tech.
Get kids ready for bed.
Stand under mistletoe with your man.
Grab your man and lay one on him!
Tell your man he’s a precious gift in your life.
Put kids in their own beds to dream of dancing sugar plums.

Have a very Merry Marriage this Christmas!

By Julie Sanders at Come Have a Peace

We’re linked up at: The Better Mom, New Equus-New Creation, The Life of Faith

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Filed Under: Christmas, Holidays, Home & Holidays, Julie Sanders, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: Christmas, marriage, relationships 9 Comments

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