One of the biggest fears I have as a woman is not leaving the legacy God intended. I’m afraid of being the same person at 85 that I am at 31. This includes all aspects of my life, blogging, motherhood, character growth, and being a wife. Who doesn’t want to stand before God and not hear the words, “Well done.”? Who doesn’t want to became more like Jesus and less like a selfish 2-year-old? (Oh wait–maybe I’m the only 31 year old out there that has 2 year old moments?).
Just this week, I put myself out on a limb and asked for advice. It was a situation when a huge decision needed to be made. The kind of decision where I wasn’t sure if I needed to take the left fork or the right.
It was also the kind of decision where I would have to expose my heart, dumping out all the pieces. Reflecting fears and vulnerabilities. So I took a deep breath and jumped. I asked an another woman to mentor me in this decision and laid my heart bare. And what I found was this:
1. Mentors lead you on the smoothest path.
Choosing to ask another experienced woman for help doesn’t make you look foolish; instead it brings you wisdom, support, encouragement and grace. Having a mentor doesn’t mean she can solve the problem for you or tell you what to do. But her perspective brings your clarity to your mess. She can see different angles that you can’t. Often when you and I are facing situations, challenges or problems–it’s right under our nose. And when we invite another woman to view it, she has a bird’s eye view! And the best part, because she has probably “been there,” she lends her experiences to help avoid heartache.
2. She’s willing to ask you the hard questions.
We all have the “Tell me I look good, even though I gained 10 pounds friend,” and we all have the “I’m here when you need me friend,” and the “Let’s distract you from the issue friend,” yet the most valuable is the one who’s willing to pose the questions we don’t want to hear. No one likes to ask the hard questions, and we certainly don’t like dealing with it–but like I said before, I want to grow in my walk as a woman, so I NEED a woman who is willing to “go there” with me.
And after taking the risk to ask for help, I’ve found that I have amazing and encouraging support from her, pushing me to be my best while still loving me for ME.
3. She sees your potential.
We have blind spots and we are certainly aware of our flaws but having a mentor helps us see our potential when we can’t see in ourselves. Think of it this way, even the best athletes in the world have a coach. Bestselling authors have editors. And the best photographers have critics.
We need someone who can see outside our view, to help us consider our weaknesses and support our strengths.
4. You have a place to fit in.
One of the hardest aspects of being a mom is the different stages of motherhood and having to rely on me, myself and I, all day long. Often times, motherhood is overwhelming and we wonder if we are doing this mom thing right. Some times we feel isolated and alone. Having a mentor reassures us that are aren’t messing up our kids enough for therapy and makes us realize we aren’t alone.
Now back to that decision…I spent the evening firing off my thoughts, my questions, and my fears. And I walked away with a deeper conviction in the decision I made….
Feature photo: Freedigitalphoto.net