5 Lessons Learned in the Emergency Room

March 12, 2013 By

ER

Last week was the 3rd time we had to take our baby to the ER since January 1st.  Never have we been to the ER so many times with one child. Poor little Charlie,  he has had a very sick winter with RSV, stomach bug, respiratory infection and whatever else a baby can catch this time of year.

Last week, he dislocated his elbow.  HOW?  I have no clue, but he did. Actually I did it, but don’t know how.   So, needless to say I am learning some new things thanks to all of these trips to the ER.

  1. Always take a shower before bed, never think you can take it the next morning.  Every time I decided to shower the next morning we ended up taking a sick baby to the ER before I could shower.  Thank goodness for pony tail holders, baseball caps & perfume.
  2. Keep snacks & a water bottle in the diaper bag.  2 of the 3 times we went to the ER during a meal time.  Thank goodness I had some trail mix stuck away in the bag because Scott & I were hungry & there were no vending machines in sight.  Plus who wants to pay $3.00 for a tiny bag of pretzels?
  3. Keep a journal at home.  On our first ER trip Charlie had RSV. When my baby was gasping for air and the nurse was asking me when I last took his temperature, how high his fever was and when he last had Ibuprophen I couldn’t remember a thing. If I had written it down and brought it with me it would have made things much easier.   I write stuff down now just in case I have to tell it to the Pediatrician or ER doctor.  Plus it really makes me look like I’m on top of things.
  4. Be patient.   It is so easy to want to demand quick treatment when your baby has been sick.  You are tired from staying up all night and all you want is for your child to be ok.  ER trip #2 we sat in a waiting room for 3 hours on Martin Luther King Jr birthday with hundreds of other sick people, tempers were flaring.  It was a long wait, especially when you have a sick child.  The staff was working as fast and as efficiently as they could.  We knew that & waited, even though I really wanted to stomp my feet & yell, “Hey do you even care my baby is sick?”.  When we were finally taken to a room, we waited some more.  It was getting old, but getting upset about it would not help our sick baby any at all.
  5. Be prepared to shine for Jesus.  Even when you are the patient (or your child is) we can shine for Jesus by the way we respond to others or speak to them.  Every time we have been in the ER the Lord gave us opportunities to talk about Him with others.  Scripture says to always be prepared.

1peter3_15

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. “ 1 Peter 3:15

When Christ rules your heart and mind others notice even if they don’t really know what they are noticing.

Do others see something different in you?  Do they see a hope and joy they rarely see?

Our family has been through a lot in the past 2 years and is still going through it.  I will never forget when someone asked my oldest daughter how she could be so upbeat and joyful when our family was experiencing such a difficult time.  Without missing a beat she responded with, “It has to be the Lord carrying me through this because this is the hardest thing we have even been through and yet I know he has our backs.”  I love that!  My 20 yr old daughter, in the midst of difficult days, was living out the joy of the Lord & her hope was grounded in Him and others noticed.

Are you prepared? 

Do others notice a hope in you they don’t have?

Do you know someone who has that hope that you want?

Sweet Mom, Jesus is the author of the faith that makes that hope & joy possible.  I pray you know him as personal friend and Savior and learn to choose His hope and joy.  It is there for the taking.

I write a new blog focusing on living in His joy and how that can happen.  I invite you to visit and subscribe to my posts.  www.joymoms.com

In His Joy!

Dana Bailey

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Connecting with their Learning Styles

February 12, 2013 By

A few years ago, during one of my more challenging homeschooling days with my kids, the Lord showed me a scripture verse that has stuck with me.

“Then the Lord looked over all he had made and he saw that it was excellent in every way.” Genesis 1:31 

I wondered, does this mean that my kids are excellent?  I have to be honest here, I really had not thought of my kids as excellent.  After all, they were making my day very difficult.  I looked at the scripture again and knew it was true, my kids were excellent.  I just wasn’t looking for their excellence; I was focusing on their faults.  I soon realized that seeing my kids as excellent also meant accepting their differences, strengths and weaknesses.  A big part of my frustration during school was that I was not teaching to their learning styles.  I was teaching to my learning style.  I taught them the way I learn and since God gave me such unique children that meant that they didn’t all learn the same way, especially not like me.  We were all a mess!  In her book, Cherishing and Challenging your Children, Jodi Capehart said this,

“We are able to cherish our children more when we can embrace these differences and acknowledge our Creator’s sovereign purpose in making our child the way he did.” 

When I took a step back and saw my kids as God’s creation in which he has a specific plan and purpose, I better appreciated their differences.           

            I soon began digging into books written about learning styles to see if I could find the perfect formula to help me teach my children.  The books have become great tools, but I soon realized that there is no perfect formula.  How disappointing!  I did find some helpful suggestions that helped ease some of the frustration.  Here are some suggestions by Cynthia Tobias from her book, The Way They Learn, that I hope will help you know your child’s learning style better.

  1. Observe patterns of behavior.  What excites your child, what frustrates them?
  2. Listen to the way your child communicates.  Listening carefully can teach you how you need to talk to them.
  3. Experiment  with what works and what doesn’t.  Remember that even if an approach to learning doesn’t make sense to you it may work for your children.
  4. Focus on natural strengths, not weaknesses.  You can’t build much on weaknesses, but strengths provide a much better foundation.
  5. Learn  more about learning styles in general.  Find out what your own style is and how you can relate to your child’s learning style.

 

teaching-child

So many times we think our kids either have learning disabilities or they are being trouble makers.  By discovering and teaching to their learning style we are able to resolve much of our own frustration and theirs too.  We discover that there may be no disability or delay at all, only a difference in learning.  Even if a disability is there, knowing their learning style can only bring ease to the learning process.

Our children are excellent in every way, even in those ways that we don’t understand at times.  Knowing our child will only strengthen the relationship that we all desire to have.  God knows what your child needs and he has chosen you as their parent for a very important reason.  He knows that you have what you child needs.  The hard part is relying on God for the wisdom we need to supply our children’s needs.  Seek him for the answers you need & he will supply.

Cherish your child

                 Know your child

                                 Enjoy your child.

  

Sources:

Cherishing and Challenging your Children,Jodi Capehart, Copyright 1991.  Page 10

The Way They Learn, Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, Copyright 1994, page 7 & 8

 

Helpful resources:

Different Children, Different Needs, Charles F. Boyd

Learning Styles test:  http://www.ldpride.net/

 

By:Dana Bailey

You can find Dana at her new website Joy Moms or on her personal blog, www.danabailey.blogspot.com

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By His Spirit

January 15, 2013 By

Lately my days have been spent mostly rocking a feverish baby, wiping snotty noses and trying to grab a few moments of sleep when I can. The winter colds have hit our house pretty hard and this Momma is tired.

Even with sick kids, it is hard for me to just sit during the day.  My mind begins to go over all that I need to be doing but can’t. While I’m rocking the baby I think about the laundry that still needs to be washed or the emails I haven’t answered yet. When the baby  finally goes to sleep I hope to get as much done as I can, but then I see one of my other kids making their selves comfy on the couch, grabbing a box of tissues and asking me to make them hot tea or something else to make them feel better.

I have to remember the time I invest in my children now will have lasting affects later on.  My kids are not a distraction or a burden as the world often portrays them to be. They are precious and well worth my time and energy-even when I have no energy.  All the time I spend wiping noses, rocking sick babies or just listening to a troubled teenager, it’s all worth it.  I’m not looking for rewards or recognition. I just want to be the mom my kids need and deserve.

But I have to admit; lately I have not felt that I have measured up at all.  I am running on empty.  I’m exhausted.  My temper is short. I just want to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time at night. How can I still be the mom my kids need?

zech4.6

Even in the midst of sick kids & crazy schedules, I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit walking with me, guiding me, carrying me through my days. I can’t make it on my own.  I must lean on the Lord & ask him for help, strength and clarity of mind.  How amazingly faithful he is to provide that to me.  Even on days when I can’t sit down and read my Bible, I can simply call on the Lord and know he is there.

I encourage you mom, know where your strength comes from. All that you do is important, even wiping noses and scrubbing dirty floors. It all ministers to the heart of God and to the hearts of your children.

I’m off to go wipe another runny nose.

 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

 

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Gift of Grace

December 19, 2012 By

Nine years ago marks one of the most difficult, yet most important Christmases in my life.  It would become a Christmas that would change my life and how I celebrate the birth of Jesus.

In October, we had found out we were having another baby.  This baby would be our ninth child and we were just as excited as if it were our first.  However, our excitement changed to sorrow when we found out two months later we would never see this baby come full term.  We later found out I had a virus that attacked my sweet baby and I miscarried at 12 weeks.  This was my first miscarriage.  It was an experience I never wanted to have.  I wept and mourned for this sweet baby I would never nurse at my breast or rock to sleep.  Our whole family was devastated.

My body began the process it was created to do when a baby dies in the womb and this made mourning even worse as the pain of contractions and the bleeding continued.  Christmas morning came and all the excitement of opening gifts with our children was in full swing.  As I sat on the floor helping to open boxes and unfasten baby dolls from the boxes I suddenly felt excruciating pain run through my abdomen.  I immediately got up and went to the bathroom and realized my body was at the peak of expelling my dead baby.  I sat in the bathroom weeping, not from the pain, but from the reality that my baby was in fact dead and this was happening on Christmas Day. My Christmas was ruined now!

“Lord God!” I cried out, “Why would you let this happen today?  It is bad enough you took my baby, but why would you take my baby from my body today? Today is supposed to be a happy, joyful day!  But here I am in horrible pain as my body gets rid of my baby.  Why God! Why?”

Right there in my bathroom the Holy Spirit began to minister to my broken heart.  Right there, he spoke gently to my aching soul.

“Your Heavenly Father knows your pain.  He sees your tears.  He hears your cries. He sent His only son to die for you. His only son was born to die so you could live.”

My tears didn’t dry up, they only flowed more.

“Oh my God, your love is so overwhelming! I can’t understand”

Suddenly the real truth of Christmas flooded my soul like my tears had flooded my eyes.  We celebrate the birth of Jesus, but his birth marked the beginning of his death and our life. His birth was glorious and miraculous and should be celebrated, but in the midst of our celebration we often forget why he was born…so he could die.  We get so caught up in the worldly way of celebrating we forget what we really should celebrate…his death and resurrection.

Because of our sin, Christ became man so he could die and make eternal life possible for us.  It is all because of us.  He was beaten and hung on a cross because of my disgusting sin.  He rose on the third day because he loves me!  Even now, I truly cannot grasp this.  I don’t understand how he can love me so deeply when my sin is so great!

I healed from my miscarriage and we were excited to find out early in the next year we would have another baby.  Kaylin Grace was born in November.  Her middle name is a reminder to me of the grace given to me during the miscarriage and after.  She knows a baby died in mommy’s tummy before she was born and knows she might not be here if that baby had lived. “I don’t like that your baby died, but I’m glad that I am here.” she says.

I can still picture my unborn baby playing at the feet of Jesus.  Even though I still wish I could have held him, I am thankful the Lord used him to remind me of why we celebrate the birth of Jesus. We celebrate his grace given to us.

God’s grace was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger.  His Grace was worshiped by shepherds and sought out by wise men.  His Grace walked and talked with sinners and healed many.  His Grace loved the unlovable and forgave the unforgivable.  His Grace became a man, experienced everything a man would experience and suffered persecution that would break even the strongest man. God’s grace was beaten to the point of death and hung on a rugged wooden cross, naked for all to see. His Grace died a human death but rose a Heavenly resurrection. Because of His Grace, we have life.  His Grace is a gift to us and that is why we celebrate Christmas.

By: Dana Bailey

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Urgent vs Important…Knowing the Difference

November 21, 2012 By

I could hear her calling me from upstairs.  I really wanted to finish the article I was writing.  I only needed 100 more words and I would be done, but my daughter continued to call for me.  I saved my document and grumbled to myself as I walked up the stairs to see what she needed.

As I walked up the last step to our gameroom I could see what she wanted.  My great grandmother’s little round table was set with plastic dishes and a chair was waiting for me.   Gracie has invited me to join her and her dolls for high tea.

“Mommy, let’s have tea!” my 4 year old daughter proudly exclaimed.

“Gracie, I can’t right now.  I need to finish my article before I have to cook dinner. Let’s do this later.”

She looked down at her dolls and said, “That’s ok, you won’t be able to come later either.”

Her words hurt deep and I knew she was right.  My article wasn’t important, my daughter was.  My article was urgent because I had a deadline that was quickly approaching. But at this moment, I was choosing the “urgent” over the “important”.

Sometimes as a mom it is really hard to decipher the difference between issues of importance and issues of urgency. We have so many things going at the same time and we try to do it all.

Issues of importance are on a vertical scale.  They deal with your relationship with God first and then your relationship with others.  They are self-sacrificing,  private and often invisible.  It is choosing others over yourself.

Issues of urgency are on a horizontal scale.  When addressed they do not enhance a relationship with others. It is putting yourself before others even though we think we are doing it for someone else. They are often simply tasks to perform.  There is a time & place for the urgent; but our world has replaced the important with the urgent. Urgent things, when done, are usually more visible to others.  When I cook dinner, everyone knows it because they can smell it.  When I check email, the sender knows because I respond.  But when I pray for that sender, no one knows but me & the Lord. Do you see the difference? It is the things of importance that really matter.  Those urgent things can wait; really they can.  What is the worst thing that will happen if you read with your little boy and don’t clean up the kitchen right after dinner?  You might have to scrub that pan a little harder.  But the reward of spending time with you child is that you have filled up your son’s love tank by stopping the urgent and doing the important with him.

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.  Mark 10:13-16

Jesus knew the difference.  He was trying to teach the disciples the difference between what was urgent and what was important. As Jesus was teaching the crowd these children began coming to him.  The disciples saw them as a distraction but Jesus knew differently. I really wish we had a follow up of one of those children who sat on Jesus lap that day.  How did that moment with Jesus change their life?

I have never regretted putting aside the urgent for the important.  Too often I look back and wonder why I put so much priority on what I thought was urgent.  I have missed wonderful conversations with my teens because I thought I just had to get that email sent out, or missed out on baby doll tea parties because I was determined to get another article finished.

I challenge you to evaluate your day.  What is on your list that you would consider urgent and what is there that is important?  Usually the important things are not on the list, they are hidden within the list.  Don’t miss them!  Be mindful of what important things that God is placing in your day.  You will be greatly blessed for choosing the important and I think you will be amazed at how you will still get many of the urgent things done also.

 

 

 

By Dana Bailey

 

*Images by Microsoft Clipart
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Time To Breathe

October 19, 2012 By

When the walls are closing in, what do you do?

Photo © Steven Errico / Getty Image

 

What a week.  I was so tired!  The days seem to be getting longer even though they were really getting shorter.  The kids were not getting along.  It seemed like no one would do their school work without being told a gazillion times.

Breathe.

My 18 year old daughter informed she had to babysit all day for someone so I wouldn’t have her around to help.

Breathe

I forgot the wet clothes were still in the washer and the dishwasher still had dirty dishes in it because I forgot to start it, again.

Breathe.

My 19 year old son sent me a text that he got another speeding ticket on the way to work.

Breathe.

The baby was taking short naps instead of his normal long naps and wanted to nurse every 30 minutes (at least that is what it felt like) and to top it off, there was nothing quick and easy to make for dinner!

Breathe.

 Remembering to breathe sounds so simple, yet when I have days like this I feel out of breath.  I run from one thing to the next stressing over not getting anything done or over what I cannot control (like my sons’ speeding ticket)

What do you do when you have a day like this?

Time to Refocus

On my super crazy days, when my now older kids were much younger, I would pile the kids into my suburban and go for a ride.  We drove around for about an hour, not going anywhere special, just driving.  The younger kids would take a nap and the older kids would play games like “I Spy” while I would talk to God about my crazy life.  When we got home things always seemed a little easier to manage and I could make it the rest of the day until Scott came home from work.

Now they are older and I can leave them in charge of the little ones and give myself some down time.

Most often I would take a walk around our neighborhood rather than waste gas driving around.  But, stepping out of the house for a bit would help me refocus. It helps me to be able to catch my breath and have a chance to think about what all is going on to make me feel so crazy.

If getting out of the house was not an option I would change up our daily routine.  I would pop some popcorn, throw a blanket on the Living Room floor and stick in a movie…in the middle of the day!  This was really shaking it up for me, because I had a set routine for naps, school, meals…everything and I rarely budged from it.  With a house full of small kids, this was how I survived. While they watched the movie I would take time to breathe.

Time to Readjust 

Sometimes there is something in my schedule that is adding stress to my day that I can either get rid of or just move to another part of my day.

I am the worst at trying to fit too much into one day.  I am determined to finish all the laundry, scrub the floors, bathe the dog and get caught up on grading papers for school, in addition to cooking the meals and watching the kids.  Who do I think I am…Super Mom?

After a careful look at your schedule, you can almost always find something that will fit better on another day or can be moved to a less stressful part of your day. It really comes down choosing the important stuff over the urgent stuff.

Time to Relax

I know telling a mom to relax is like telling her to stop being a mom.  But not only is it important, but it is necessary.  Your body needs that time, your mind needs it also.  Relaxing may look different for you than it does for me.   Sometimes I take a walk.  Sometimes I lie down and do absolutely nothing.  I highly recommend at least 10 minutes of “doing nothing” every day.  Clear your mind of your to do list and fill it with the promises of God to give you rest.  It works!  His Word never returns void and will always minister to your tired soul and mind.

photo: www.imagebase.davidniblack.com

Time to Breathe

Here are a few of my favorite scriptures to meditate on when it is time to breathe.

Psalm 131:1-2

“O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (ESV)

 Psalm 116:7

“Return, O my soul, to your rest;  for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.” (ESV)

Psalm 73:28

“But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”(ESV)

Ephesians 3:19-21

“And to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (ESV)

Lamentations 3:22-26

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”(ESV)

 

I would love to know how other moms deal with crazy days.  Leave me a comment and share your take on this subject.

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A Generous Helping of Wisdom

September 18, 2012 By

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FACING YOUR FEARS – 31 STORIES FROM M.O.M.

 

 

“Mom, what does e-n-o-u-g-h say?” asked my 7 year old daughter, Gracie.  She occasionally gets stumped while reading and will come running to me, like the house is on fire, asking how to pronounce a word she can’t figure out.

I love when she does this.  She is a very independent little girl who rarely thinks she needs help. So, to have her come ask me for help is always encouraging.  This means she is teachable.  It means she is eager to learn the right way.  It means she understands that she doesn’t know everything (that will change when she is 13) and because she comes to me it means that she trusts me for the right answer.

After observing my daughter I have to ask myself if I am teachable.  How do I respond when others offer advice or counsel?  Do I seek counsel from others?

As a mother to a houseful of kids I often get asked for advice from other moms.  There was a time when I thrived off of their questions.  I thought I had so much to offer because I thought I knew so much.  Thankfully the Lord brought me back to reality.  Anything good you see in my kids is not because of my excellent parenting skills.  It is because of God’s grace & mercy playing out through my children. I want him to use me in the lives of my children and in order for him to be able to do that I must seek him for wisdom and have a teachable attitude.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

I love how James words this scripture.  God gives generously to all who ask.  There is something very important in the asking for wisdom.  Like my daughter when she asks for help, it says a lot about those who ask God for wisdom.  We acknowledge that we do lack wisdom and we trust God to give it and to give without reproach! That means he doesn’t remind us of how sinful and undeserving we are.  Don’t you just know that he is thrilled we are coming to him and asking!

As a mother, I must ask for wisdom every day.  There is too much going on with my children for me to know how to handle it all!  The enemy is to ready to pounce on me and I need all the help I can get to defend his nasty attacks.

How do I ask for wisdom?  I ask!

I have to be still and quiet.  I know, I can hear your grunts. How does a mom with little ones ever get to be still?  I’m not talking about your body, I’m talking about your spirit.  I have had some of my best God moments while utter chaos is going on around me.  Just me & God in the middle of my sweet, noisy  blessings! He hears me.  He knows me. He answers me.  He is so faithful to quiet me with his love in the midst of craziness.

It doesn’t always happen like that.  I do enjoy quiet times even if they have to happen in my closet. I need solitude on occasion, but I just want you to know it isn’t required to receive God’s generous helping of wisdom.

I pray you will seek the wisdom of God and experience him in a whole new way today!

By: Dana Bailey

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