Recently, I shared on my blog that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are expecting our third child to arrive in March. It’s been fun to share the good news with family and friends and it’s been even more humorous to hear some of their responses. We’ve received these lines so far:
“Are you sure you are having only one this time?”
“Were you planning on this?”
“You are going to have your hands full.”
“Time for you to get snipped, mister.”
Since we already have twins, I expected many of these responses. There is a lot of truth in them, actually. But, it always amazes me how people so openly say their thoughts without thinking about how it might make the receiver feel. What if instead of giving them a “roll with the punches” answer, I said:
“Yes, it’s only one. So, do you think if I had twins again that would be a bad thing? Because they are the biggest blessing I have ever received.”
“Nope, wasn’t planning on having a third. Totally a shocker. Do you think I should keep it if I wasn’t planning on it?”
“I believe my hands are full already. Thanks for that revelation.”
“Actually, we want more kids so “snipping” wouldn’t really help, would it?”
It’s not in my nature to respond this way to people. But, I would be lying if I didn’t think some of this on the inside. I’ve had to deal with remarks about my children from the moment we found out we were having twins so I’m used to the openness that people have about our family. The only thing that really concerns me is that our words make an impact, and we have a choice to say positive or negative words.
Young moms have advice thrown at us constantly whether we want it or not. Usually, it is easy to say thank you and carry on, but sometimes we really want to respond in a way that makes the advice-giver leave us alone. Moms have to develop thick skin and learn to be graceful – even when it’s really hard. Because if I was to respond negatively back to you, those words really aren’t helping the situation much, is it?
I think it is important for moms of all ages to respect one another and the decisions we make for our families. While some decisions might seem crazy to you, they are the best decision for the other mom. Let her make her decisions, and you make yours. (Of course, if a decision negatively impacts or harms you and your family in any way, a polite conversation should be had.)
My friends that said, “Yay, I am so happy for you”…to them I say thank you. Thank you for not judging and supporting us whether or not you agree with our decision. Thank you for being kind and celebrating with us. Thank you.
When it comes to the words we speak to others, let us remember to speak in love. Let us think for a second before responding in a way that could potentially hurt the other person’s feelings. Let us cheer one another on instead of bring each other down.
As a mom, how do you respond when you receive negative comments about your family’s decisions?
Christen Price blogs at illuminate {formerly the uncontainable truth}, where she offers a light for your path. As wife to her high school sweetheart and mother to premature twin girls, she’s learned that God is the Ultimate Party Planner and sometimes the unexpected is the greatest gift of all. Christen is the Children’s Ministry Coordinator at her church, a lover of exclamation points, and gets way too excited over food and fabric. You can find her on Facebook, or on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter @chris10price.
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