For quite some time, society has been telling us women that we could and should be as independent as possible. That we shouldn’t be dependent on another human, whether it is our spouse or fickle friends. However, I have come to find that it is imperative that we reject that notion. God has created us to be relational. Just as there is the perfect balance in the relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we are also meant to be in relationship with others. It is an integral part of who we were created to be. For that reason, and especially in this season of my life, I have found that we women need and should depend on godly, supportive women (our tribe) to rally around us. A tribe is defined as a a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest. Every woman needs a tribe dedicated to the growth of those of which the “tribe” is comprised. Each person’s needs may differ, but here are a few examples of why we should depend on one another.
Spiritual Encouragement – When I look back over my Christian walk, I realize that I have experienced the most growth when I participated in small, closely-knit groups. The Bible encourages us in Hebrews 10:25 by saying this: “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” Part of what that means is to meet with other believers. There is a sense of openness and transparency in that, where others can see our strengths and weaknesses and encourage it. I was challenged and encouraged by others who knew what I was dealing with on a regular basis. I was held accountable for my actions and my spiritual growth. Even recently, I have found such encouragement with a group of ladies as we read and discuss a book together. It has been a great time of encouraging each other through our lives. It has been such a blessing.
Practical Application – Spiritual encouragement almost always leads to practical application. Being in relationship with other women has causes us to learn new and better ways of doing things. We can learn so much for other people simply by watching the way they do things and handle situations. This is especially true in learning about how to interact with our family. Titus 2:3-5 teach us this. “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Notice that both the older and younger women have a job to do–the older must teach, and the younger must learn. When I first began preparing to home school, I would ask moms I knew to come observe their home school days. I learned so much about routines and schedules, housekeeping, and curriculum that I would have not experienced as easily. Now, I invite new home school moms to our house to do the same.
Wise Counsel – Recently, I had a friend who had a very difficult decision to make in her marriage. She, other friends, and I talked through the problem and our concerns. We searched the Bible and prayed about the situation. Although we are still walking through this situation, we believe that God will be glorified. This is one way that we are meant to solve problems. When we have more perspectives than just our own, coupled with the Word of God, we are able to see a fuller picture of the situations around us. It is foolish to think that we can solve all our problems and make all our decisions wisely by relying on ourselves. In order to make good decisions, we must sometimes seek people who are more experienced and knowledgeable than we are to help us.
With a husband that is traveling for work, I have learned that I need other people. I need a body of believers to support me. I need my tribe. And I’m so grateful that the Lord has given them to me. God has created us to crave relationships with it. It is not foolish to depend on others (as society often tells us). It is foolish for us to think we can do everything on our own. Oftentimes, we shy away from getting close to others because we are afraid of what could happen. I have been guilty of this myself. Yet, even with the potential of pain or betrayal, we must seek to share our lives with others. If that fear becomes reality, we must depend on the Lord to sustain us through it.
Think about the relationships you have had in your lifetime, both good and bad. Have you experienced joy? Yes. Have you experienced crushing pain? Of course. BUT… Is your life not more richer because of what we you have learned? Has your happiest days been that much more pleasurable because of who experienced them with you? That, my friends, is how God has intended us to live. NOT an independent woman, devoid of feelings or emotions, but a woman totally dependent upon Him, and a woman whose life is enriched by those she CHOSE to love. We are indeed better together.
Tamika Guillebeaux is a perfectly imperfect wife, mom, writer and postpartum doula. She doesn’t always get things right, but embraces the grace of the God who does. She thrives in the supportive role of helping women learn to depend on the Lord through the good, the bad, and the ugly of motherhood. Tamika realized just how important that support was when she had her first baby as a single mother over ten years ago, and was inspired to serve others in the same way. She is passionate about walking alongside moms, so that they can learn together and from each other. Tamika lives with her husband and their four children and works from her home in East Tennessee. Connect with Tamika on her Facebook and Pinterest Pages.
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