We had lived in our house in California for eight years at the time. It was a beautiful two-story at the corner of a quiet court, and we loved it. We loved our neighbors too.
But after being there for eight years, I started to get an itch for change.
It wasn’t that I wanted to leave where we lived. In fact, thinking about that was the hard part. Our kids had many friends in the neighborhood, and so did Mike and I. It was the desire for something different that drove me: I had grown up in a single story with acreage, and I craved open space. The thought of living on more land was appealing.
A round of house hunting began. It started out simple: we wanted to find a single story house on a bit of property. With our daughter about to go into middle school at the time, we also wanted to live near a smaller school so it wouldn’t be such a big transition for her. The kids were excited and the idea of a new house was an adventure—at first.
As we looked and looked (and looked), we couldn’t find what we hoped for. Time passed, we continued to search, and things changed. Our kids got older and the middle school my daughter attended in our neighborhood turned out to be great. But even though we had been house hunting for a couple of years and nothing had panned out, I was convinced it was still the right time to move. We continued to look, we even put offers on a few houses, but we got outbid.
Then we found one last house that seemed to have everything we were looking for. We put an offer on it then put our own house on the market that weekend, sure that things were finally going to happen. I remember seeing the photos of our home online after we listed it… and having an unexpected feeling of sadness. There was a pit in my stomach and, for a minute, I questioned if we were doing the right thing. But then we got two full-price offers, and I took that as our green light to move forward.
As we considered the offers on our house, we waited to hear back on the one we wanted to buy. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I’ll never forget the call we got from our realtor, at 3:45 pm. He told us the owner of the house we had an offer on had changed his mind… and had taken it off the market.
When we got the news, we turned down the offers we’d gotten on our house, and I thought I’d be devastated. But a tiny sliver of relief crept into my soul, surprising me. (I’m pretty sure the relief had something to do with the fact that I had just started reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. I was already seeing things in a different light, though I didn’t realize it yet.)
That following week, things really changed.
Instead of thinking about how nice it would be to have a bigger yard (as I’d been thinking for years), I found myself thankful for the yard we had. Instead of bemoaning living in a two-story in a neighborhood where everyone’s houses were close together, I found myself grateful for our awesome neighbors. It seemed like all the things I had grown tired of in this house suddenly had new life. (Because I started to look at them through a lens of gratitude.)
I began to question my desire to move. I questioned my motives too… was I simply wanting bigger and better? Were all the “practical” things we’d listed as criteria in our house hunt even important?
And then I read a verse in Ezekiel 34 that struck me at my core. It’s the verse that talks about how some shepherds feed their flock, and some feed themselves…
Ah, you shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? – Ezekiel 34:2
And I knew instantly that was me: thinking of my own wants and dreaming of a “better” house and yard, getting caught up in what could be… and missing what was right in front of me: the wonderful home we already had and the fact that my kids loved living there. (Looking back at that multi-year house hunt, I can see now that I was the one keeping it going in spite of door after door closing in front of us. It’s a good thing God was ultimately in control, and not me.)
As I continued to read Ann’s book, I prayed for God to change my heart if it needed to be changed… and to do it fast.
It didn’t take long for Him to answer. By the end of that week, moving didn’t matter to me anymore. It just didn’t. I was filled with a sense of peace that it was not the right time to move, and I was overwhelmed with all the good in front of me, all the blessings I already had. I didn’t want or need anything else. I sat Mike down that next weekend and poured my heart out to him, telling him that I felt like we were supposed to give up the idea of moving, just stay put, and appreciate what we have.
I remember he looked at me surprised and said, “Wow. It sounds like you’ve had a life change or something.”
And then a few days later, I read Joshua 24. And, wow again. I saw so clearly that I already had “good land,” yet there I had been pursuing what I thought to be better (worshiping other gods)… losing sight of all the good things in front of me.
If you break the covenant of the Lord your God by worshiping and serving other gods, his anger will burn against you, and you will quickly vanish from the good land he has given you.” – Joshua 23:16 NLT
Gratefulness changed everything. We stayed put, and so many memories were made in that house over the next several years. There were holiday celebrations and neighborhood parties and get togethers – all things we would’ve missed if we had moved. Our weekends weren’t consumed with house hunting anymore. Our kids didn’t have to wonder where they would be going to school, and there was such a sweetness in being truly content with what we already had.
I guess sometimes when you start searching for more, or different, or better, it’s simply because you aren’t seeing clearly what’s right in front of you. 🙂
What “good land” has God already given you? Have you lost sight of that? Is there something—some pursuit, distraction, goal, or maybe even obsession—that is blocking your vision and making you miss the blessings in your life and all the good that is already yours? Resolve to be grateful today; it changes everything.
- Ch…ch…ch…CHANGES Are Coming in 2017 for TMI - December 27, 2016
- What New Thing Are You Ready to See God Do in Your Life in 2017? - December 26, 2016
- Heaviness and Newness - December 23, 2016
