Got a Child-Centered Home or an Attention-Starved Child?

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Motherhood is the hardest thing we will ever do. It’s hard to know all the answers when we’re still trying to figure out the questions. 

And if you’ve been a mom for more than a week, you know it’s hard to find a healthy balance between too much attention and not enough. 

How does a mom know whether she has an attention-starved child or a child-centered home? It’s such an easy place to end up for the mom who is busy, too structured, or just plain distracted.

Let’s look at some distinguishing characteristics of an ATTENTION-STARVED CHILD.

  • Creates a disturbance to get your attention
  • Noticeably loud and sometimes obnoxious
  • Cries, pouts or whines a lot
  • Withdraws from others
  • Shows signs of depression
  • Exhibits unreasonable/uncontrollable anger
  • Become rebellious
  • Says you don’t care or you’re never there

And HERE’s HELP for YOU as the MOM of the ATTENTION-STARVED CHILD.

  • Start with yourself – What has been captivating your attention?
  • If you have more than one child, stagger bedtimes for some individual conversation and bonding.
  • Learn & speak your children’s love languages.
  • Be creative – Go to the park, play outside, have a play date with the kiddos, play board games, go out for ice cream.

Now let’s turn our attention to a CHILD-CENTERED HOME. It’s such an easy place to end up for the momma who loves her child like crazy…

But a child-centered home will wreak havoc on relationships within the family and with friends. 

How to know if you have a CHILD-CENTERED HOME:

  • Child throws temper tantrums to get his/her way
  • Yells at you – tells you he/she hates you
  • Has no problem defying you & telling you ‘no’
  • Tries to tell you what to do
  • Expects to get his/her way
  • Doesn’t follow or respect the rules
  • Selfish, rude & argumentative describe this child
  • You cower to your child’s demands
  • You’re afraid you might upset your child
  • Your schedule revolves around your child’s whims

Here’s HELP for YOU as the MOM of a CHILD-CENTERED HOME.

  • Set rational boundaries.
  • Don’t lose your temper (when you do, you lose).
  • Look for teachable moments & point out examples of patience, selflessness & kindness… and also point how unattractive bad behavior looks when you see it.
  • Remove your safety net & let your children fail.
  • Don’t go from one extreme to the other overnight. Avoid the tendency to go set unrealistic boundaries or rules.

It’ not always easy, but when parents are tenacious about intentionally parenting their children, they are able to recognize and help their children navigate those character traits.

Whether you’re a mom of an attention-starved child or you’ve somehow developed a child-centered home, you’re not alone and we are here to help.

Have you struggled with having an attention-starved child or a child-centered home? What in this post might help you most?

The Making of a Mom*THIS POST CONTAIN EXCERPTS FROM THE MAKING OF A MOM.
Stephanie Shott
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