When the Christmas Season Hurts

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What happens when the Christmas season hurts? Usually just saying the word Christmas brings up a bounty of fun family memories – snow, family, the smell of a fresh cut tree and yet this year, for many people just the thought of the Christmas season brings tears to their eyes.

It’s a powerful parallel, on one hand there are millions of people everywhere that are full of the Christmas spirit. You know who they are, they just can’t help themselves, they have been singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. Yet, there are millions of other people who the Christmas season, be it always or just this year, is flat out painful.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NLT

If you are humming along to a Christmas song right this very minute, then chances are you won’t need to hear what I’m talking about today. But, I hope that you stick with me for a bit so that you can be there for the person in your life that might be struggling this Christmas.

People all around us (at work, in our kids classrooms, at the store and everywhere in between) are dealing with some heavy stuff right now. Just in the last few weeks I’ve talked to women who:

  • have husband’s are leaving them
  • have families are falling apart
  • have a major medical issue in their household
  • have parents that are dying
  • have friends that have turned on them
  • have children that are estranged from them
  • have no job or source of income right now

That’s a tough list of things and truth be told, those things in and of themselves are hard to deal with, but put them together with the busyness and expectations of the Christmas season and you have a recipe for depression or disaster.

So what should you do if this Christmas season hurts?

  1. Be ok with the fact that this is a tough season. Free yourself up from the expectation that you should be “happy”. That’s not always easy to do, but don’t try to hide your feelings under the blanket of “everything is ok”. If it’s not, then it’s not but don’t stay there.
  2. Pray, then pray some more. It is in this season of hurt that you can either let your pain take over or you can give it over to the only One that can do anything with it.
    1. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV
  3. Study Scripture. I like to have a list of verses handy when I’m going through tough seasons that I can carry around with me. When the waves of doubt and despair start to take over then I whip out my Scripture verses and focus my mind on what God’s Word says about things. 
    1. Feeling hopeless? Did you know there are 164 verses on HOPE in the ESV version of the Bible? Here’s a link to those verses so you can take a look at them too. 
  4. Ask for help. You don’t have to go through this season alone. Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you figure out what you need to do to get your joy back this Christmas. Ask them to join you in prayer as you try to discern what’s the next step. 
    1. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20 ESV
  5. Do something different. If what you’ve been doing isn’t working, then it’s time to do something different. Some options are: counseling, support group, new friends, put yourself in a new environment — change is hard, but might be the spark you need in this season.

Whatever you decide to do please know that you have thousands of women right here praying alongside you. You, sweet sister, are not alone. I hate that this season is so hard for some of us, but I hold on to the fact that you are not alone (Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. John 16:32b ESV) through it.

Father God, wrap your loving arms around my sweet sister right now. Help her to feel your presence in a season when she might feel alone. Help her to cling to you this Christmas season in a way that she’s never done before. Show her your grace and mercy in a new way today, in Jesus name, amen.

How can we be praying for you this Christmas season?

Stephanie Shott
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