“Go have a glass of wine.”
I had been cutting my infants’s finger nails and ended up making a slice in the tip of his finger.
I felt sick. There was blood. I went from zero to one-hundred in no time flat. He’ll bleed to death! I’ve maimed my baby! He needs stitches.
My pediatrician and her colleagues had most likely fielded this type of frantic call from a mom many times before.
“He’s fine. Just put a little pressure on it. Don’t worry. And Dr. Smith says, Go have a glass of wine.” I could hear a little laughter erupt in the background.
Message received. The cut is just a nick and if I get stressed have wine. It’s okay…doctors orders.
I told a friend, one of my mentor moms, about the conversation. She gave me some solid advice. She relayed a story about a mom she met while watching her kiddos at a park. My friend had made a little joke about it being a hard day and needing some alcohol later that night. The woman didn’t give her the, “I know what you mean,” reply. Instead she stopped her mid-sentence, “That’s how I got started. A glass of wine while I was cooking dinner, just to relax before my husband came home. You know, during the kids’ bewitching hours of four to six. Now I’m an alcoholic. ”
Busyness, stress, boredom, frustration all things moms deal with.
There is a growing trend related to those typical mom issues. I call it the Mommy Juice Movement. It’s when young mamas participate in liquid therapy alone or with a group of other moms. Many mamas who have had a rough day want that Chardonnay Chill and are encouraged to go for it by other well-meaning mamas.
Drink while cooking dinner, drink when the kids go to bed, drink at the playgroup.
Liquor companies have taken notice of this new drinking culture and had even created wines targeting young stressed out moms: Mad Housewife, Mommy’s Time Out and Mommy Juice. Their sales are up 25%.(http://www.today.com/parents/hitting-mommy-juice-too-hard-experts-warn-alcohol-abuse-moms-2D79473508)
There are even facebook groups, websites, playgroups, and mom blogs with the central theme of , “‘I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned it. I need a drink.” Where the shared joke is, “Kids will drive you to drink.”
There are no websites for other substance use or abuse. Have you ever seen a group like: Mommy needs Drugs. Or My kids get me down, so let’s get high? Drinking is an easily available and legal mode of escapism, where many comrades are willing to go along and encourage others to join in.
There is a book titled, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay whose author originally supported the drinking fad but now confesses to alcoholism. “The number of middle-age women who entered alcohol treatment programs nearly tripled between 1992 and 2007.” Alcoholism is on the rise and the Whine-Wine mentality is adding to its numbers. (http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2013/05/15/women-drinking-and-wine-reward-culture/uUQ6piA88PGabcNm5eeqhP/story.html)
Last night on the news the reporter said that eight drinks during the week was considered excessive drinking for women. So that would be one drink every day with maybe two on Saturday.
Here are five indicators of an alcohol dependence or addiction:
1. Drinking more alcohol than you intended.
2. Wanting to quit but unsuccessful at quitting.
3. Alcohol use is taking the place of other activities with family and friends.
4. Interests revolve around drinking and lots of focus is on alcohol
5. Drinking continues even when it causes issues in your family.
If you find you can nod in agreement to any of these statements, get help.
If you are crazy busy, stressed, bored, frustrated…find another way to de-stress.
Personally, I also found simple things like lighting a candle (of course away from the kids) and pouring myself some tea (rather than a glass of wine) helped get me through the bewitching hours.
And…changing up the venue for the kids makes a big difference as well. Give the little rascals a bath during that time. Somehow water soothes the savage beast. And truth be told, there are times where as a mom you just have to grin and bear it…because this to shall pass. (I promise.)
Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler.
TMI Mentor mom and co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting, Lori Wildenberg, is mom of 4 and wife to Tom. She a licensed parent and family educator, national speaker, and co-author of 3 parenting books: The just released- Raising Little Kids with Big Love (available on Amazon, soon to be in books stores), the soon to be released Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love, and Empowered Parents: Putting Faith First (Amazon). Contact her for speaking, workshops, or private parent consulting.
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