Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Elijah Michael–my midnight baby. We went into the hospital during the early morning hours on October 5th and he was born at the stroke of mid-night on October 6th. As I yell his name, I can’t help but smile because I’m yelling, “The Lord is God–Who is like God?” And this week he will be 7, which is amazing considering that he tested my sanity with all his boy-ish stuff like worms in his pockets, opening the door to the bathroom so I could hear his farts and giggles, not to mention the never-ending layer of dirt.
Something needs to be said for moms of boys. Raising boys is disgusting, noisy, and always dirty—but it is SO worth it. As I watch my little man-child dive bomb off the window seat in his blue camo underwear followed by a war cry to seek out and destroy any moving target (his sisters), I catch glimpses of the man he will be one day.
He will be a husband and a father. He will have the world on his shoulders and will need to be raised in a way that doesn’t kill his warrior spirit but also teaches him to meet God in all situations. So here are just a few rules for raising boys moms.
Wrestle Often
Boys crave touch. They scope out their world with our reassurnace and our touch as a mom who loves him—but he doesn’t want cuddles. He wants to wrestle, so wrestle often. As you tumble around the floor, you are filling up his daily quota to physical touch.
Hide the Fruit in His Heart
Boys are rough and tumble—sometimes not knowing how to act in a situation that requires self-control,, gentleness, or patience. Hide the fruit of the spirit in his heart and add to it (Galations 5:22). These planted seeds will become the building blocks to a strong foundation as a man chasing after God.
Go Outside with Him
There is plenty of time to read books and play video games. Do something that honors the call of the wild in his heart. Go outside. Boys are in their most natural state outdoors. Dirt on their skin and grass stains are rewards from his adventures in the great outdoors. Go outside and see the world how he sees it. Watch his face become animated over the wonders of sticks and tree forts. You’ll be lost in the sparkle of his eye and his zest for all things dirty.
Help Him Find God
Tell him of the wars and wild adventures in the Bible. Introduce him to the giants: Adam, Noah, Moses, David, Peter, Peter. Show him how God whispers his majesty in a single snow flake, or how he is the force behind homemade rockets and in his heart. Help him find the road God is calling him to.
Play his Sport
Learn how to kick a soccer ball, ride a scooter or coast on a skateboard, sketch monsters or build towns out of legos. Whatever he is interested in, embrace it and play with him. Nothing says, “You are loved and accepted” more than when we take interest in their passions.
Love Yourself
You will be his first kiss, his first dance, and his lap of comfort. He will look for a woman just like you in character or personality—so love yourself. Don’t complain about your hips or the age drafting its way around your eyes, hold your tongue—no complaints. Show him you love how God created you.
Let him Solve Problems with other Adults
5, 6, and 7 year olds know how to talk to adults so let him resolve conflict or reach a compromise on his own, whether it’s in the classroom, on the playground or in another social situation. As you stand by and only step in when it is necessary, he realizes he can change the world through a conversation. It builds confidence in who he is.
Give Him Something to Believe In
Because someday he will be lost, unsure, nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won’t be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when you are not there. Whether it’s a phrase about how capable he is or his life verse, give it to him.
Embrace the Whys
Answer his millions of questions. Seek out the answers together and ask his question with a question if need be. The more he learns about his world and where you get your answers, the more confident becomes in the knowledge you provide.
Let Him Lose
In the day and age of “no hurt feelings” boys are not learning how to be team players or how to handle losing. So let him lose. Teach him that he won’t win or come in first or be the best. Help him understand life isn’t always fair but he can reflect God’s lion heart with integrity in accepting his loss. In fact, show him what it looks like to lose.
Instill Manners
A man is one who is thoughtful of others. He commands respect with how he gives respect. Teach your son how to open doors, say please, thank you and to have compassion for those who are “the least of these”.
Hand him Over to Dad
When your son tries to fly from the ceiling fan, pee off the front porch or opens the door to the bathroom so everyone—including guests can hear him toot, hand him over to Dad. There will be things we as moms will never understand. Let Dad dote out the consequence or word of advice as needed. Dads know when sons cross the line in behavior and what is typical of being a boy.
Open His Eyes
Show him a world unlike his own. Take him on a mission trip to the homeless shelter or take meals to shut ins. Have him complete landscaping for another. Great leaders learn gratitude and compassion at an early age. Show him what it takes to be Jesus’ hands and feet. Give him the tools to be a world changer in his everyday encounters.
Release the Wild
Boys are a ball of energy, always moving, always shaking. Even in his sleep, the morning tale of scattered toys, socks and bedcovers reveal the unending energy in his body. Brace yourself and give boundaries of where and how he can release his energy. Get a trampoline or nerf gun and set him loose.
Teach Him Housework
Great marriages share chores. There is no delegation of tasks but both mutually pitching in as needed. Teach him how to wash, fold, and put away laundry. Let him learn how to load the dishwasher and give him a chance to cook in the kitchen. He will appreciate the work you do for him and will be a star in his future wife’s eyes.
There is no such thing as perfect but there is the best
The Perfection Infection is rampant among the female tribe and we need to be mindufl of who is watching. Because the world will one day rest on his shoulders, teach him that his weaknesses are made strong in Christ. Teach him to run the race set before him with all his might. Show him that his best is what God asks.
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