by Erin MacPherson
I’m part of a run”ish”ing group with six of my girlfriends.
We call it run”ish”ing because if you’ve ever seen me run, you’d know that I certainly could not be labeled a runner. Run”ish”er is a stretch. But regardless, every Saturday morning we get up bright and early and meet at a local park to go run”ish”ing. We even have shirts to remind us of our athletic prowess (or lack thereof).
Now, I know it sounds crazy (who gets up at 6 am to do something sporty?) but it’s become the part of my week that I most look forward to. Not because of the huffing and puffing (although, on certain days there is a lot of that), but because of the conversation.
My run”ish”ing girls are my best mentor moms.
Not because they are famous authors or counselors or teachers, but because they are real. They have kids who do crazy things like pull all of the dryer sheets out of the box and spread them into a giant car track around the house. And they don’t judge me for choosing to avoid the 5 o’clock meltdown by making PB & J for dinner. And they even understand that there are times when being a mom is the last thing I want to be.
There’s just something about long hours on the trail that leads to real conversation.
But there’s more. Because beyond honest conversation, there’s an atmosphere in our early morning runs that gives us permission to mentor each other in a way that’s just as honest. My run”ish”ing girls don’t hold back any punches. Instead, they listen carefully to what I say and then they tell me what they think, even if it’s something I don’t want to hear.
It’s as if we can tell the truth with each other as long as we’re run”ish”ing.
So when I told my run”ish”ing girls that I was feeling crushed in my marriage, ready to run away and find something or someone better, they listened. But they didn’t commiserate. They didn’t tell me that I had every right to feel the way I did. Or that my husband was the big, bad guy and I was the innocent victim. Instead, they spoke the truth in love, if you will. They mentor”ish”ed not with lectures or even their own expertise, but with prayerful conversation and loving friendship. They walked next to me, becoming part of the healing. They became more than mentors. They were my partners.
Now I’m not saying that everyone should join a run”ish”ing group—trust me, some mornings it’s not as fun as it sounds. But I do think every woman should have a group of friends who are willing to mentor”ish” them. Not women who tell them what they should do, but women who are willing to listen and then step and walk (or run”ish) with them on their journey. And whether that means getting up at 6 am on a Saturday or heading out for coffee after your kids go to bed, it’s important to have good mom friends who are willing to talk beyond diapers and sleep training. And are willing to give you a break when you just can’t make it up that next hill.
Erin MacPherson is an Austin, Texas mom of three who stays home with her kids by day, writes by nights and (occasionally) run”ish”es half marathons with her friends. She is the author of “The Christian Mama’s Guide” series and blogs at www.christianmamasguide.com.
A Christian Mama’s Guide to the Grade School Years: Everything You Need to Know to Survive (and Love) Sending Your Kid Off into the Big Wide World
Oh, how we needed this book two decades ago when the “self-esteem movement” was brainwashing parents into raising generations of entitled kids! Erin’s Fifteen Factors are spot-on remedies for the spiritual immaturity and arrested social development I see daily in my high school students.
With hilarious transparency, keen insights, and practical faith, Erin coaches you to support and challenge your child without enabling or over-protecting. Chapter 14 alone — “Do This, Not That” — is worth the price of admission!
Cheri Gregory (aka “Mrs. G”, 20+ year classroom veteran and “Mom” to two college kids!)
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