When It Isn’t Always Pretty

Frustrated Mother and Daughter

I’ve stepped away from a few opportunities to write about raising teen and young adult daughters  because I felt that I wouldn’t be writing from a position of strength and victory.

There are the privileged few that have the “insider track” on what goes on behind the scenes. The prayers from faithful friends that are being prayed over our every day life.

We deal with heartache, a heart that is still mending, struggles with singleness, anger, indecisiveness,  situations that could be life-threatening.

This is what I want to show you…the realness of a MOM; a Mentor Mom.

You see, it’s not always pretty.

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to hear from God.

We don’t have to have it all together, but what we do need is a willingness to continue to seek God, to fall flat on our faces at His throne and surrender EVERYTHING!

I cannot fix what only God can.

I can’t mend my daughter’s heart. I can’t help my other daughter have a healthy mindset.

But we know that God can…and He is who we rely on to get us through every moment.

The plus to all of this is that I don’t have to carry the weight! I wasn’t made to carry worry.

“Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7

I originally thought that things were too broken to be able to share anything at this point, but that’s exactly what the devil wants me to believe. No more!

There is no doubt that there are times that we should wait on God’s answer or timing before we share some things.

There are special times that we are to share either publicly or privately. Ask God to help you know the difference. 

When there are times that you know that you can help someone else because of what you’ve overcome, remember that it’s biblical to do so.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God…” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I pray, dear Mom, that you will take God at His word when He says that He will comfort you through every trial. Jesus said in John 16:33, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Let us choose to believe that. God hasn’t promised us a trouble free life, but He does offer peace.

Kela Y. Nellums

Kela Nellums

Kela Nellum is her Daddy’s (Abba) girl. She has a major crush on her husband. She home educates their 6 fantastic kids. It’s always lively! She is a coffee (creamer) snob. Enjoying life in South Carolina. Her desire is to strive daily to pursue excellence in every area of life. Kela can be found at her personal blog; Pursuing What Is Excellent at www.kelanellums.com.

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  1. Kela, I really appreciate this post, your courage to share, and your transparency! I’ve shared it with the M2B Moms of Teens group, as I think it will really be an encouragement to them, too!

    • Thank you, Lisa! It was actually after our conversation that the Lord led me to go ahead and get the ball rolling on sharing. It feels more like a release and relief to start getting breakthroughs.

  2. Kela..
    This is exactly my struggle. Thanks for the post. My oldest- a young adult- (she has been very public about this so I am free to share) struggles with Same Sex Attraction-in fact now is openly embracing this life style. The Lord is moving me out of my comfort zone to reach out to other parents with children that struggle in this area. I am reluctant to share because we don’t have that “happy ending” of victory (yet). Thanks for your courage. Hopefully it is contagious! :)
    ~Lori

  3. PS I’m going to share your article on my author facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/1Corinthians13Parenting
    Thanks!

    • Lori, I am so encouraged by you and your courage! God trusts us with the children that He blessed us with all the while knowing that He’s the ultimate Parent. His love, grace and discipline far exceeds ours. We’re all getting through this mom thing together!

  4. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! Teenage daughters are tough to guide and lead (I have one too!). Just knowing someone else is struggling to raise a teen in a Christ-like manner is so much encouragement!

  5. Amen, Kela. And thank you for your humility today that will open the hearts of moms to receive His openhanded grace through those not so pretty seasons of parenting.

    • Sis, you’ve seen the messes and have prayed me through it all!! God has placed you in my life for a great work when you thought that it was the other way around!! Thank you for being that praying and loving friend!

  6. {Melinda} Thank you for this. I taught classes at my church on tween/teen daughter issues and I felt so unqualified given what I was going through at the time. But God still used it, despite my inadequacy, despite my brokenness. The pain was such a motivator to me to help other moms. It still is.

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