When Martha’s Evil Twin Comes to Visit

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I enjoy having friends in our home for dinner and to just hang out and visit.  About a year ago we started a tradition of having dinner with our life group friends twice a month before we started whatever study we were doing at the time. The great thing about this group is that we have been friends for around six years. They have seen it all and I don’t feel like my house or I have to look “perfect” before they arrive.

2013-01-19 12.37.18This past week I decided on a simple dinner menu that didn’t require a trip to the store- my favorite kind.  Chicken fajitas were on the menu that night. I put some chicken in the crockpot that morning and went on with my day.

Thirty minutes before our friends arrived, I started getting things ready for our simple dinner. Regretting my decision not to make a dessert, I gave my daughter the assignment of making chocolate chip cookies while I chopped bell peppers and sliced tomatoes and black olives.

It didn’t take me long to start feeling overwhelmed with the task set before me. Yes, this was a simple dinner, but I started to wish I had begun making it sooner.  I should have already opened the cans of beans, made the homemade guacamole, and put the cheese in a bowl.  These little things were eating away at my time and I started to get frustrated.

Though my daughter was doing something for me, I started to resent the pace at which she was working. I needed her help!

It didn’t take long for my frustration to become obvious to my daughter, which tensed her up. It was minutes before our friends arrived and I still had a lot to do. Our friends have little ones and another on the way, so I wanted to honor their time so they could get home and get their kids in bed at a decent hour. And, my friend is in her first trimester, so she’s exhausted and feels terrible.  Pressure I put on myself. Martha’s evil twin had come to visit

By the time our friends arrived, I was being short with my daughter and making it impossible for her to do anything right.

Friends, I have circled this mountain so many times. I overestimate my abilities and underestimate my time, leaving behind a wake of irritability and hurt feelings.  I have set a precedence that I’m not proud of.  When company’s coming, Mom gets stressed and barks out orders. 

I have identified two things I’m going to do differently next time:

  1. Make a plan. Just the act of thinking ahead about the tasks set before me will cause me to budget my time.
  2. Identify what I can do in advance. There were many things I could have done earlier to prepare for our simple dinner. Slicing tomatoes and olives and chopping bell peppers and putting cheese in a bowl are examples.

What about you? Does entertaining come easy to you, or have you made some of the same mistakes that I have?

 

 

 

Stephanie Shott
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