Where Can I Go? The Solace of Psalm 139

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I know my kids pretty well.

Even before my youngest could communicate with words, he had a myriad of sounds I could easily translate.

There was the whiney, fussy noise he made most often, which meant that he was hungry (that’s why it’s the sound he made most often).

The scream of pain – I don’t like to hear that one, but I know it well from his toddler tumbles.

The giggle that gurgles through even when he’s tired and crying but just can’t help but laugh because I’m playing peek-a-boo or giving him raspberries on the tummy.

There is the “uh uh uh” that goes with outstretched arms when he wants something. The heart-wrenching, deeply offended, pitiful sob accompanied by giant crocodile tears that he makes when we scold him. It’s the funniest thing ever, and I’m sure we’re going to put him in therapy one day because every time he does it, we laugh.

I can also read their faces...my oldest gets purple shadows under his eyes when he’s getting sick. His cheeks flush. My baby’s eyes get puffy when he’s congested, and he has a stork-bite between his eyes that only appears when he’s tired or upset.

I know them intimately. I have memorized their faces. I know their smell, their weight in my arms.

I know when they are tired, or hungry, or scared.

I know what makes them laugh. I know what they like to eat and what they will like (if they’ll just try it)!

I will never forget the days that they were born, and every night – every night – before I go to bed, I creep into their rooms and watch them sleep for just a moment. To breathe the smell of their skin as I brush a soft cheek or arm with my lips.

To lay a hand on their head and whisper a prayer – or, more often, a plea.

Help me do better tomorrow. Don’t let me fail them. Protect them.

They are an extension of my very flesh, I know them so well.

Someone once commented on the similarities between Psalm 139 and the children’s book The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. I made a note of it in my Bible, and it’s always been one of our favorites.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

To think…if I know my children so intimately, how much more so does an omniscient God know them, know me? It boggles the mind, really. It also brings me comfort when I feel out of control or afraid.

He knows them better than I do. He loves them more than I do. Does God steal in and smell our hair in the dark of night, as well?

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

“If you come after me…,” said the little bunny, “I will become a rock on the mountain high above you.”

“If you become a rock on a mountain,” said his mother, “I will become a moountain climber, and I will climb to where you are…”

“If you become a mountain climber,” said the bunny, “I will be a bird, and fly away from you.”

“If you become a bird and fly away from me,” said his mother, “I will be a tree that you come home to.”

“Shucks,” said the bunny, “I might as well stay where I am and be your little bunny.”

When one of my boys wakes up from a bad dream, he clings to us, terrified of the images in his mind and of the dark.

To us, it’s not scary, it’s not even that dark. We can see more than he can see.

Even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

I take great comfort in knowing that my children are in the hands of an Abba Father who loves them more than I can imagine. I take great comfort in knowing that I, too, am in the hands of a loving Abba Father who loves me and knows me more intimately and more dearly than I can possibly imagine.

What are your favorite Psalms to pray over your children?

What scriptures offer you comfort, hope and guidance in your parenting?

By Adelle Gabrielson
Trying to live life with grace, humor, and great shoes.

Follow Adelle on Facebook, or subscribe at www.AdelleGabrielson.com.

Scripture excerpted from Psalm 139, NIV

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