I first heard the term “Generation M” while reading the 2006 Time magazine article “The Multitasking Generation.”
The explosion in technology, I soon discovered, brought with it dozens–even hundreds!–of new questions I needed to be asking as a parent.
It’s easy to mistake kids’ technological sophistication for maturity. Parents and teachers often back way off because they feel like kids are so far ahead of them. But kids have no idea the kind of firepower they’re playing around with. Adult guidance and wisdom are not obsolete. Kids need us now more than ever.
As part of an ongoing series called “eBabies + iTeens + YouToo,” I’ll be raising key questions regarding kids and technology that we need to be asking, exploring, and answering for our families. Think of it as the 411 and the 911 for adults playing catch-up with Generation M.
Here’s a sample of the kinds of questions we’ll be tackling in the weeks to come:
Some Questions I Wish I’d Known to Ask
- How did our 2 1/2 -year-old figure out Reader Rabbit 5x faster than her father & I did?
- What questions should we have asked and what guidelines should we have set before we put computers in our kids’ bedrooms?
- How did our daughter manage to have her own MySpace account for two years before I knew about it?
- How many other parents across America get stuck with unexpected cell phone charges? (In our case, it was $100+ because our daughter’s friends told her, “Don’t worry! Texting is FREE!” back when it wasn’t!)
- What should I do when kids are taking photos of my son with their cell phones, without his permission?
- When we had Japanese exchange students stay with us for Christmas, what should we have said / done about their laptop computers and Internet access?
- Should I be interested in and/or concerned about what’s on the iPod my daughter borrowed from her friend…considering that the friend is a male 4 years older than she is?
- When my friend’s 10-year-old lost her purse containing over $750 worth of technology, whose fault was it? What was an appropriate response? What were appropriate consequences?
- When my daughter launders a jacket she’s borrowed from a friend and discovers the $200 iPod in an inner pocket after the spin cycle is complete, who pays for the replacement?
- How did my daughter’s phone get a $9.95 monthly subscription service even though I told the cell phone rep, “No surprises. I want NO SURPRISES!” ($80+ by the time I caught it — SURPRISE!)
Some Questions I Am Still Asking
- When I invite my students over for brunch, should I let them text throughout the meal or should I ask them to put their phones away?
- Why do kids text each other about tonight’s homework and wait 2 hours for a reply rather than calling and saying, “So, what’s tonight’s homework?”
- Since when have “to,” “too,” and “two” all been replaced by “2″?
- Is all the time they spend tweeting and tumbling and texting real communication? Or is it a waste of time?
- When I tell my students about the “good old days,” when “Cut and Paste” meant that I cut up the rough draftS of papers and pasted them back together as part of the expected multiple revision process, why do they roll their eyes (and go back to texting under their desks)?
- How will today’s kids, whose lives are largely virtual, form honest f-2-f bonds when they’ve grown up online, perfecting the art of ‘identity management’?
Your Turn!
- What questions regarding kids and technology have you asked and answered for your family?
- What questions are you wrestling with?
By: Cheri Gregory
Here are some answers- serious and not-so-serious.
How did our 2 1/2 -year-old figure out Reader Rabbit 5x faster than her father & I did? Their brains are not full of useless stuff yet, so they absorb technology like a white rug absorbs grape juice. But put them on Jeopardy and watch a parent beat their butts! We adults are FULL of useless info!
What questions should we have asked and what guidelines should we have set before we put computers in our kids’ bedrooms? I never put a computer in my kids rooms. One, you can’t monitor them as well (my son got into trouble the second I left him alone on the ‘family’ computer!), and Two, it’s too much of a temptation for them to ‘just facebook a little’ late at night, or when they’re grounded.
How did our daughter manage to have her own MySpace account for two years before I knew about it? See the last question. Also, check the site history on a regular basis.
How many other parents across America get stuck with unexpected cell phone charges? (In our case, it was $100+ because our daughter’s friends told her, “Don’t worry! Texting is FREE!” back when it wasn’t!) I told my kids they don’t get cell phones until they can PAY for them- kinds solves that pesky charges thing..lol! I can barely afford mine!
What should I do when kids are taking photos of my son with their cell phones, without his permission? Unfortunately, all he can do is ask them to stop. It doesn’t mean they will. Just tell him to make sure he does NOTHING really stupid to warrant it going all over the net!
When we had Japanese exchange students stay with us for Christmas, what should we have said / done about their laptop computers and Internet access? My home, my rules- and limit access as you see fit.
Should I be interested in and/or concerned about what’s on the iPod my daughter borrowed from her friend…considering that the friend is a male 4 years older than she is? YES. Especially if she’s borrowing it long term. Ask yourself WHY she’s borrowing it in the first place?
When my friend’s 10-year-old lost her purse containing over $750 worth of technology, whose fault was it? What was an appropriate response? What were appropriate consequences? A ten year-old is too young to be responsible for that much technology. It’s the child’s fault for losing it, but it’s also the parent’s fault for giving all that to her.
When my daughter launders a jacket she’s borrowed from a friend and discovers the $200 iPod in an inner pocket after the spin cycle is complete, who pays for the replacement? The friend for not telling her there was an ipod there in the first place. If both girls knew, then the replacement is on your daughter. It didn’t sound as if either girl knew about it being there. In a worse case scenario (aka if friendships are going to be severed), go halfies on the replacement.
How did my daughter’s phone get a $9.95 monthly subscription service even though I told the cell phone rep, “No surprises. I want NO SURPRISES!” ($80+ by the time I caught it — SURPRISE!) See if the charges were part of the service or if your daughter signed up for it. Cancel that particular service if it’s from the company or have your daughter pay for it, if she signed up.
When I invite my students over for brunch, should I let them text throughout the meal or should I ask them to put their phones away? Whose house is it? You house, your rules. No texting at the table. It’s not only rude, but it’s disrespectful of their teacher.
Why do kids text each other about tonight’s homework and wait 2 hours for a reply rather than calling and saying, “So, what’s tonight’s homework?” When you were a teen, what would YOU do to prevent doing homework? Welcomew to the modern version of ‘going out to play for a few minutes’!
Since when have “to,” “too,” and “two” all been replaced by “2″? Text laziness.
Is all the time they spend tweeting and tumbling and texting real communication? Or is it a waste of time? Yes.
When I tell my students about the “good old days,” when “Cut and Paste” meant that I cut up the rough draftS of papers and pasted them back together as part of the expected multiple revision process, why do they roll their eyes (and go back to texting under their desks)? Because you are speaking about times in which they will never EVER live, therefore it doesn’t exist. They live in the now, when their friends are texting about the boy sitting next to them- THAT is reality.
How will today’s kids, whose lives are largely virtual, form honest f-2-f bonds when they’ve grown up online, perfecting the art of ‘identity management’? Parents need to establish boundaries when they’re younger. Shut off the tech for a week. Define boundaries. Encourage get-togethers. Eat dinner together as a family, with or without inviting their friends. Give them a basis of human interaction!
I know you weren’t looking for answers, but I wondered if there were others that were. So being the nosy-posy I am, I decided to give this a shot. Hope you don’t mind- it’s all done in love!
Beth —
I don’t mind in the least …as long as you don’t mind being quoted in the weeks to come!!!
My goal each week will be to explore a central question and then share how several families are “answering” it, so you’re giving us a fabulous start!!!
C
You mean you’re going to *GASP* QUOTE me?!? Hold on- let me get on my ‘big girl’ pants…I can handle this…yes, I think I can!
What an excellent list of questions! While there is much good on the internet, allowing a young child to explore alone is akin to letting him go play in traffic. Yikes.
A pet peeve I have is teens texting constantly, even pulling their phones out in the midst of a class. I facilitated Generation Change for our teen youth group, and would get annoyed on the rare occasions when I’d see the phones being used. When I mentioned it once, a teen replied he was checking a scripture on his eBible to help him respond to my question…
If I teach again, I may very well have the kids stack their phones, set on silent mode, in a pile in the middle of the table to be seen but not heard.
Kim –
Your illustration is classic! What can I possibly say to a student who is reading the Bible?!?
Your cell phone pile is a great idea. The #1 excuse I hear from parents is that their kids HAVE to have cell phones in case of emergency. But right after earthquakes, my experience has been that the cell lines are jammed. And we’ve been trained that if there’s ever a school shooting, I am to confiscate and disable all cell phones immediately. (But more about that in an upcoming week!)
C
This is wonderful! I’m very eager to read your posts!