It was hard not to notice her struggle, since she and her husband sat across from us while we all waited to board our flight. Her little princess was Pottery Barn catalog pretty, but she had an attitude that shouted “Diva!” With a patient voice and bottomless bag of tricks, the mom was trying to work her magic (emphasis on “work”) before we ever approached the plane. Nothing worked. Just then, she found hope in the form of another “traveling mommy.”
Different kinds of moms
Traveling mommy 
#2 took a different approach. She was streamlined. She was in charge. She was in a fluorescent orange t-shirt matching her toddler’s. And to top it off, she was loudly counting to three. Orange-clad mom rallied her tribe, adjusted her backpack, swung her stroller into position, and headed for her flight counting to three so her toddler would keep up as he dragged his little rolling carry-on behind him. In just the few moments she pulled over beside us, she counted to three at least three times, but it seemed like she never got to three. Her crew knew the drill. Mom #1 was clearly watching and wondering; she had hope.
After mom #2 took off, the little princess made a new attempt at naughtiness. Mustering up her nerve, mom #1 started to count. “One …. “ She leaned down and looked at princess … no response. She got cold feet and didn’t even try to say “Two …” A few minutes later, she had another opportunity and responded with another hopeful, “One … ” No response! She bailed out and opened a new juice box, instead.
God’s pattern for moms
God wants us to look to Him for the pattern of how to mother our children. “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17). Just because one family finds a management technique successful doesn’t mean it will be successful for every other family, for YOUR family.
Mom #1 looked confused about why counting to three didn’t have the same impact on her child as it had for the orange t-shirt family. Her little princess looked equally confused about why her mom kept breaking into spontaneous counting. WHY did her mommy keep practicing her numbers? Mom and child were both confused. What went wrong?
- While we can learn from each other, what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.
- Though we go thru motions of a management technique, it doesn’t mean it will always be effective.
- Our children have to understand something of “why” we do what we do, if it’s to make a difference.
- God gave us our children, and He wants to give us practical wisdom to manage them well.
- Once we find management techniques that work for us, consistency is the key to success.
- Our job is to be the best mom we can be, not to be someone else.
- Our children need us to be clear and consistent as we shape them and help them grow.
Being the best YOU mom
Every mom has strengths to capitalize on her strengths in mothering. Understand how God designed YOU as a mom, and then be the best mom you can be. The dynamics of your children, lifestyle, spouse, and personality are all uniquely yours. Our Heavenly parent is “counting” on us to discover how He’s made US so we can embrace it and mother well.
- Do you know what strengths God gave you as a mother?
- What management and discipline strategies work best for your family?
- Are you embracing the mom you are or trying to squeeze into another mom’s mold?
- Ask God to help you be the best “YOU” you can be as a mom.
By: Julie Sanders
Julie,
I LOVE this post because I was sometimes a counter and then I would see some moms who never had to count and I would demand first time obedience and then I caved to counting again. Yet, God made each mom different and each family different and each child different.
I love how you share that we are to be the best mom we can be for our specific children!
Great post!
Seems like each child is unique and can require some unique approaches to mothering. We really have to think and pray, instead of just “duplicating.”
Yes, yes, yes!! Trusting that God put our family together helped me get to where I could trust the fact that I was the best mom for the kids under our care. I wasted a lot of years and tears on looking at other moms and trying to warp their mothering technique into my days with the kids. Typically, it was not a good outcome. I’m not saying we shouldn’t observe and talk with other moms to find out different approaches. Ultimately, though, we should set it all out for God to put His finger on what is best for us and those precious souls He is allowing to be under our care.
This is another great opportunity for mentoring to shine. A seasoned mom can truly help encourage a younger mom to find her own style of parenting. Wouldn’t it be great to save another mom from wasted years and tears?
I like the choice of words in “warp.” That’s so true when we try to be someone God didn’t make us to be. We can really spend those years and tears wanting to be a different mom, when our family needs us to be the most awesome mom God designed US to be!