Being a quiet person doesn’t always have the best benefits. The absence of sound coming out of my mouth means that there is sometimes a lot of chatter going on in my head.
I had to apologize to my oldest daughter for passing that ugly trait on!
She told me, “NOW I see where I get it from! I over-think situations and start to become worried or doubtful.”
Its sad to say that I’ve probably done her so much more damage than either one of us ever thought would happen!
There is a tendency to over-process EVERYTHING. The next thing that happens is tons of questions, or questioning. Those that are around us see the extreme and excess. Thankfully my husband has called me on it a couple times.
I retreat when I feel that I’ve said something that someone else may take the wrong way…even when it’s perfectly harmless.
Doubt creeps in too often.
Wrongly reading other’s actions and motives can be detrimental at times.
I wonder too often, “What did they mean by that statement?”. “Did they mean to use that punctuation mark?”. “Why is it taking them so long to answer back? Do I bother them too much?” “Do I ask too many questions?”. “He’s being too quiet. Is he upset with me? Is everything okay with us?”
I’ve even told my daughter these next two things. I try. I really do try to remember this for myself:
- Your perception is your reality, but is it the truth?
- Texting (email, IM, tweeting, facebook msg. [anything not involving voice or tone]) is for information; not communication. If you’re having an issue, pick up the phone or meet and talk it out.
I can’t tell you how many books I’m reading on dealing with emotions and approval addiction!
Okay…I can tell you exactly how many, and I’ll list them later.
Those are the roots of my over-thinking. Wanting to look my best for others (approval addiction) and letting my emotions rule me.
That mindset is born out of fear. Looks like they go hand in hand, huh?
This is the time to take our cue from God’s Word:
God has given us the ability to feel and think, but I’m sure that He didn’t mean for us to obsess over our thoughts; which oft times produce negative emotions.
Negative emotions lead us to say or do negative things that can have a lasting impact on our lives and those around us.
Some consequences that come from it can be reconciled, other things can seem to be beyond repair in our eyes.
This quote was just for me!
So Long, Insecurity:You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us by Beth Moore
Living Beyond Your Feelings by Joyce Meyer
Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer
Personality Plus:How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself by Florence Littauer