Growing a friendship makes me a better mom. Toddler moms may be tempted to think they will never have time for a friend again, unless they happen to be named Dora and wear a backpack. Teen moms may be tempted to think they’ll only have time for friends who cross paths on sign up sheets at sports meetings. But our children and our husbands can not meet all our relational needs, and it’s unfair and unrealistic to expect they will. Even a mommy, especially a mommy, is meant to have a friend.
Mom-friends grow in summer
In addition to the rest and relaxation shots filling our Facebook albums, our spirits desperately need time with a friend. Moms are good at making excuses for why they don’t have time, freedom, energy, or opportunity to make friends. The summer schedule is your opportunity! Have you already enjoyed some sweet friend time, or does it seem like a vain hope doomed to the same fate as your unwatered Shasta Daisy? It’s not even July yet! There’s still time to satisfy your need for “mom-friend time.”
Since motherhood is sprinkled with troubles and questions like jimmies on a cupcake (too much and in clumps!), we need friends to help us see life clearly, to support the weight of hardship, and to turn our hearts to God. It’s not enough to be with a crowd of moms at the pool or in a bunch of moms in the bleachers; a woman needs to find the “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). Motherhood peels back the masks we wear, exposing our need for an honest friend who will walk beside us as we figure out the journey of mothering.
My summer has already been rich with friend moments: serving with my friend Nutt, campfire chatting with Erin, walking with Chrissy, and chopping veggies/talking with Beth. That’s one thing that makes this season perfect for growing something like a friendship; the warm air, sun, long days, and different schedules invite us to be out together. And each time we’re together it’s a chance to do more than eat a meal with other people or change diapers in numbers or be at the same sporting event. Summer is a chance to nurture an acquaintance into a friendship.
It’s a great loss for a mom to let the seed of friendship go unwatered and neglected like her, when she’s longing for the sweetness of mom-friend time. A friendship seed needs some attention and nurturing to grow into a thing of beauty. When a child’s mom has a friend, that child is blessed, indeed.
Mom-friends bless the whole family
As a relationship changes from contact to companionship, we enjoy the salve of encouragement that a God-minded friend brings, making us a better wife and a better mother. “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel,” (Prov. 27:9) making a deposit into the sometimes tired heart of a mom. Look for a mom who is chasing after God, even while she’s chasing after her two year old! When women have godly attitudes, they have godly friendships.
10 Ways to Make an Acquaintance a Friendship
- Spend time together more than once
- Talk about more than your children
- Refuse to use your time to complain
- Ask each other good questions
- Each listen to the other
- Do routine work together
- Do something fun together
- Share something fresh from your pursuit of God
- Get out with and without husbands
- Pray for each other
Your friend may be waiting for you at the church picnic, at the pool, at the library, at the sports meeting, at the house next door, at your vacation destination, or even at your family reunion. When summer ends and you look back at your Facebook albums or just to your memories, I hope you’ll see more than just family photos, your adorable kids in swimsuits, and your awesome summer dessert creation. I hope you’ll see the smile from your heart, showing up on your face, right next to that of your girlfriend’s. Your whole family will be blessed when you are a mom who makes friends of her own.