My children, husband and I were eager to share our lives with another brother or sister during my third pregnancy. Then without warning, our eagerness turned to devastation. Our twenty-week sonogram showed that my unborn son had Trisomy 18. We were told by all the professionals that the best thing we could do would be to terminate our pregnancy.
That is when the pressure to abort began. The doctor visits and phone calls to my home were constantly persuading me to end my pregnancy. Well meaning family members also assured me to listen to the doctors. The pressure was astounding.
This is when it dawned on me how easily it would be for someone, who may not have all the comforts I had, to trust their doctor and abort their baby.
If there is such a thrust for a mom who has it all, what must it be like for a single, young, desperate mom?
It is for these special moms that I write this post.
First, let me tell you how sorry I am if you were pressured into aborting your child. The Bible assures us in Romans that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Our Savior knows the world we live in, and came to set us free. Go to Him, seek forgiveness, start living again.
Second, the grief of losing a child to a miscarriage, abortion, or stillborn child can be very confusing. The grief you feel is real, but society may not acknowledge it. The world told me repeatedly that my unborn child didn’t have any worth, so when my stillborn son did come, I felt ashamed and confused at the overwhelming grief I felt. The world told me I didn’t have a right to grieve as a mom who “really knew” her child.
No matter what the experts of our world try to tell us, God’s unchanging truth is what we must cling to. His word tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:44b that, “If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.” My son had a two-pound nine-ounce body with lots of black hair and long, perfect feet, and now has a spiritual body that I will meet in heaven someday. We are separated from our child, and will grieve, but will be reunited with them in heaven. This we can be excited for!
Lastly, here are some safe places to help you heal:
My favorite source that helped me: “I’ll Hold You in Heaven”, by Jack Hayford. This is geared towards loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion or SIDS.
“Experiencing Grief” by H. Norman Wright is a must read.
Healing Hearts Ministries International www.healinghearts.org/ is a safe place to go when grieving an abortion.
“Forbidden Grief:” The Unspoken Pain of Abortion”, by Theresa Burke, PhD with David Reardon, PhD.
My own personal journey on our blog: www.isaacalmon.blogspot.com
Our prayer for you is that you will be able to work through your grief. We would love to hear your story!
“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” Ps. 30:5