I Am A Controlling Woman

By Special Guest: Gina Smith

We’ve all heard the phrase, “SHE wears the PANTS in THAT family!” We shake our heads and think about how controlling other women can be. But did you know that every time I complain or am discontent with my husband, correct or criticize him, tell him what to do, or interrupt him…I am controlling!?

I see it so clearly in others but the truth of the matter is that I am a controller. I wear the pants in my family. It’s a part of who I am. It’s a part of EVERY woman. The Word of God tells us that ALL women want to “wear the pants” in the family! All of us want to be in control! The truth is that we, as women, are ALL controllers!

Genesis 3:16 tells us of the consequences of the fall of man. It tells us that because the woman usurped her authority that she would “want to control her husband, but he will dominate you.”

“Sin produces a conflict or power struggle between the man and the woman. In her sin, Eve took the lead. She acted independently. She spurned her husband’s authority. She led the man into sin, usurping his role, acting independently of him in the temptation, overturning the divine order. She should have submitted to him, sought his counsel, let him be the leader. By taking control, she lost it permanently; just as by seeking the delight of the forbidden fruit, she lost delight. She wanted to take the lead and she lost it for good. And the legacy of this is conflict with her husband.” ~John MacArther

If it is a part of who we are! So what can we do about it?

When I see other women acting in a controlling manner, it motivates me to work harder at NOT being that way! When I see the ugliness of it–it causes me to cry out to God and confess my own rebellion and pride! Only as I cry out to the Lord in repentance and depend on Him and His strength am I able to CHOOSE to not be an overbearing and controlling wife. But…

  • I must see my need.
  • I must be able to acknowledge that I am a controller and that I need help.
  • I must crucify that part of me that is controlling!

Romans 12:1 “Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.”

I must choose to WORSHIP GOD by choosing NOT to be controlling. 

And when I do that…

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Peter 4:11 “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

HE is seen and HE is glorified! AMEN!

Gina Smith has served along side her husband at a small Christian college, right outside of DC for almost 20 years. She met her husband, Brian, while she was in college and he was in seminary. They married in 1988. After graduating, they served with “Youth for Christ” for 2 years until Brian was offered a job at the college Gina attended. Brian is a faculty member and the dean of students, and Gina is the dean of women. She has a degree in Bible and when she is not spending time with her family or students, she writes for MomLife Today and Internet Cafe Devotions. You can visit her at her personal website: www.keepinitreal-gina.com

Stephanie Shott

Stephanie Shott is the founder of The M.O.M. Initiative, a ministry devoted to making mentoring intentionally missional. She is an author and a popular speaker who helps women live full, fearless and faithful lives. To invite Stephanie to speak at your next event, visit her website at www.stephanieshott.com. To find out more about The M.O.M. Initiative or to begin a M.O.M. Mentor Group, visit www.themominitiative.com.