We are running late.
She’s still in the bathroom. Door closed. Dawdling, I’m sure.
I knock gently and turn the knob.
Not.
I barge in just in time to catch tongue against tip of toothpaste tube.
I smile sweetly. “What are you doing?”
Not!
I yell. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?”
I take the tube from her hands and toss it into the wastebasket.
Not.
I snatch it and hurl it into the bathtub. I later retrieve it and toss it into the wastebasket.
“What are you doing?” I ask again. Softer. Sort of.
“Getting toothpaste to brush my teeth.”
“You don’t lick toothpaste from the tube. You spread it on your brush. I can’t use this now. It’s full of all your morning breath. Nasty. Now I have to buy more.”
My own grandmother’s words come back to me.
“I don’t understand how your breath could smell so bad when you brush your teeth all the time.”
Words stick. And stay.
And I feel like nasty morning breath.
(I also think briefly of the story about the wife who was so (passively) angry with her husband she’d swish his toothbrush in the toilet in the mornings.)
Only minutes later this quote rolls across my computer screen.
You cannot be too gentle, too kind. Shun even to appear harsh in your treatment of each other. Joy, radiant joy, streams from the face of one who gives and kindles joy in the heart of one who receives. ~ St. Seraphim of Sarov
Ouch.
I was far from gentle.
Far from kind in correcting.
I did not kindle joy.
And then in Bible study after I drop her off at school.
This from the Message.
Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. ~Colossians 3:21
I suppose that applies to grandmothers, too.
And then, as if that’s not enough, from the NIV.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ~James 1:19-20
I get it already.
Again.
It’s pretty clear that I jumped into yesterday’s filthy set of ill-fitting clothes this morning.
I should have, instead, taken time to dress in the wardrobe God picked out for me.
How about you? What are you wearing today?
P.S. Later my husband corrects me. I could have simply wiped the tube off. I knew he’d say that. He’s known for retrieving food from the garbage. I was careful to bury it under wads of used tissue.
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. ~Colossians 3:12-14 (Message)
I’m so thankful we have clean clothes to put on every morning! That He forgives and helps us mend ourselves and each other. I’m thankful He guides our loved ones to love us, in all our filth, with a steadfast love.
Thank you for being real! You bless me here and at your own blog. Loved the marriage post!
It gives that whole idea of airing our dirty laundry a whole new twist, doesn’t it?
I’m grateful for those clothes and His forgiveness, too. And that He can use all things for His glory. Even my slip-ups. Thanks, Christine, for your encouraging words. It’s good to let our slips show sometimes, right? How else can our sisters help us up?
Oh, Sandy. I’m a recovering hurl-er, too.
We were separated at birth. I’ve known it all along!
This makes me remember being told that spouting thoughtless words is like squeezing out an excess of toothpaste. You can’t stuff them back where they came from, so be careful how you squeeze. Or something to that effect. LOL! In our household we each have our own tube of toothpaste… not so much because we’re avoiding sharing, but because we have different brand preferences.
I’m grateful for the truth of the “new every morning” promise. When I mess up, God faithfully repairs and restores. His love is awesome, isn’t it?
Oh, Carol! What a perfect analogy. I must remember it.
We have a new supply of toothpaste now–which we’ve had in the past, but she seems to like mine best. So she has a brand new tube of the one she licked, a gel, and I got a paste–which she is now eyeing, so I guess I need to hide it.
I don’t have to worry about my husband. He has his own bathroom and buys that baking soda sensitive stuff. Yuck!
Yes, I’m so grateful for new mornings! And laughter.
Sandra ~ LOVE THIS! I’ve had a few toothpaste hurling episodes of my own. Not with the grandgirl yet (she’s only 2) but my boys have bore the brunt of momma behaving badly. So thankful for grace and the chance to go back and ask their forgiveness while teaching them that in real life, everyone messes up…even mom (or grandma)!
Does it count that she’s here as much as home so I’m more a surrogate mom?
Does it count that I hadn’t had my morning coffee?
Does it count that I’m older and more tired seemingly shorter on patience?
Nope.
I totally get the older, more tired thing! I took a nap before my grandgirl came over tonight. NEEDED IT!
Oh, yes. Toothpaste wars. We so often lose it over small things like this – at least I do. It seems to have gotten better with time…or maybe I’m just too tired?? Now I think about hurling things, but just sigh loudly instead. Not sure that’s an improvement, now that I think about it. Time to pull on some fresh clothes, methinks. Thanks for this, as always, Sandy.
I often seem to have more strength for the big stuff. Maybe it’s because I know I need Him for those and think I’ve got it in the small stuff? I’m getting much better, though. And sighing over hurling? It just has to be an improvement. I think the ability to be real about our small stuff and laugh about it is healing. I think twice if I think I might have to write about my actions.
My husband’s grandfather once hurled his Bible at one of the cousins for some small reason.
Sandra,
Oh I’ve been there too, especially lately as my oldest approaches the teen years. It seems like many days recently, I’ve felt like I’m starting over as a parent and learning, learning, learning… I am constantly dancing the line between wanting to be firm and worrying that I’m being too firm. I never want to crush her spirit and I DO want to be quick to listen and slow to speak. I needed this today; thank you!
Hugs,
Genny
I hear you, Genny. And those teen years are oh so hard. A pick-your-battle time. And I remember James Dobson’s words–just get ‘em through it. While we’re wracked with anxiety and worry with so much more to fear these days. We need Him ever so much. I’m glad He’s the God of second chances–and thirds.