Are You a Polite Parent?

By Featured Guest: Teri Lynne Underwood

A couple of years ago I pondered the question … “What if submission begins with simply being polite?” I examined that idea in the context of marriage, parenting, and other relationships.

As I considered how submission relates to parenting, I developed four principles of polite parenting.   Maybe, as this new year begins, you could use some simple encouragement to make this a great year between you and your kids – even if they are all grown up.

Principle 1: It’s not about you!

We make parenting about us instead of about our kids. It’s the reason we need to be affirmed in our schooling choices and time allocation.  It’s the reason we only share the good things our children do or the things that we feel pretty confident no one will judge us about.  It’s the reason most groups of mothers, in real life or online, end up becoming a competition for the “most engaged, most creative, most spiritual” title.And in all of that, we’re beating ourselves up and letting our children down!  But what if, we were just polite! What if we didn’t enter the competition, didn’t play the game?  What if we didn’t feel the need to share every situation so that others can tell us how great a job we are doing?  What if it was really about our children?

How do you work diligently to make sure your parenting is about your children and not about you?

Principle 2:  Obedience matters because it honors God.

When we teach our children to be obedient to us, we give them opportunity to learn to yield to God.  We must not take this lightly – demanding obedience for our own convenience or self-fulfillment.  Rather, we diligently train our children to give heed to our instruction because it affords them the blessing of pleasing the Lord.

Of course, this happens differently as our children grow older, but we must never allow ourselves the self-indulgence of believing that the major lesson of obedience is anything less that honoring God.

How are you teaching your child this important lesson?

Principle 3:  Be a student of your child.

We need to be aware of our children’s personalities and likes and dislikes … and even how time of day and hunger and our own level of stress can affect them.  We need to pay attention!  Learn our children … and then act on what we learn.

How have you learned your children?

Principle 4: Parenting isn’t a short-term effort, it’s a life-long event!

So, in practical terms, we need to remember that our parenting should be two things:  Grounded in the Word of God and Balanced between discipline/correction and encouragement.

And let’s face it, rarely is there a day when that all happens smoothly.  But over the course of our children’s lives we have the privilege of guiding, chastening (I love that word!), instructing, and of warning (sometimes from our own mistakes and fallings), exhorting, and encouraging.

We must not take score at halftime!  Allow God’s power to work through your efforts as you daily, moment-by-moment, entrust your child to the Lord’s hands.

How do you refocus yourself on parenting for life, not for the moment?

About Teri Lynne Underwood: Married to her talented Worship Pastor husband and momma to her silly {and slightly hormonal}tween girl, Teri Lynne is living out her own happily ever after.  Finding glimpses of holy in the most mundane places, Teri Lynne’s one desire is to invite others into this journey toward a life where the sacred and secular collide.   She writes at a little white desk and studies in a big not-so-white-anymore chair in between loading the dishwasher, putting the dog out, and sitting in the car line.  Grace grabbed hold of her life and since it did, she’s never been the same.  You can join her on her blog and on Twitter.