Dear Moms: Guide Your Children Without Judgement

judgment

 

Dear Lovely Moms,

One of the most beautiful things about God’s love is that He doesn’t JUDGE us. 

Because of this unconditional love without judgment, we get to be close to our Father in Heaven. This close relationship helps us grow into who He wants us to be. Through careful direction and love from our Father, we learn how to walk in His ways and become wiser as a result, hopefully making less mistakes through His guidance.

If God was harsh and unforgiving, we would not want a relationship with Him. We would turn away instead of toward Him!

Shouldn’t we be the same with our children?

When we harshly judge our children, they turn away from us just like we would with a judgmental God.  I am not saying that we shouldn’t discipline our children. It is clearly stated throughout scripture to discipline our children. 

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. (Proverbs 29:17 ESV)

 I am saying to go about discipline thoughtfully and gently with a goal in mind and without anger.

Sometimes, our children just need us to listen. We should try to be patient. And most of all, we should not judge them for who they are becoming as individuals who are often quite different from us. God made each of us unique creatures meant to love and serve Him in individual and special ways. 

Our children will never see the world exactly as we see it. If we are wearing pink glasses, then our children’s glasses may be another color like red, or purple, or even light pink–they see the world in a different light.  

As we watch our children grow from tiny tots into young adults, it gets harder to discipline them without judgment. So, the next time you hear those harsh words come out of your mouth, STOP! Go to God in that moment and ask for His help. Listen more than you speak, and be open to what your kids are thinking and feeling. If they feel God’s love without judgment through us, they will want to share more of their lives with us.

We should discipline and guide them with love, NOT judgment. The close relationship you have with God who molds you should mimic the one moms have with their children.  Add a lot of prayer for and with them to the recipe, and you will foster a God-centered relationship with your children.

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measure to you. (Matthew 7:1-2 ESV)

 

MOMs, we want our children to turn to us and God in times of crisis, not someone or something else.

Many Blessings,

Allison D

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When Another Mom Needs Your Help

 momhelp

 

We came upon the wreck just moments after it happened.

The older gentlemen stood beside his mangled car, looking confused and disoriented. Others had stopped and were checking on the other vehicle, which had careened into a ditch just inches before hitting a major power line.

We pulled around the wreck trying to avoid shards of metal and glass that covered the road, then pulled over to see if we could help. I passed the other car—where everyone was gathered—and asked if the driver was ok (he was).  Instead, I was heading toward the grey-haired man wandering in the road.

I got to his side and realized immediately that he needed someone to stay with him. Poking at his phone, he mumbled something about calling his sister, but he didn’t seem to be able to make his cell phone work. I glanced into his car as smoke poured out of it, and saw that the impact had been strong enough to cause both air bags to deploy. The cuts on his forehead were a perfect match to the pair of glasses he searched for as we stood there.

I knew exactly what to do.

“You need to turn off your car, sir.”

He looked at me confused, then silently complied.

“Is there anything that you need in there? Do you have a wallet? Grab your car keys so you can get into your house.”

He silently complied.

“Do you need me to call someone else? Can I dial your sister’s number?”

He shook his head, and looked at me confused.

“See my car over there? I want us to walk over there and sit down, ok? I think you may have hit your head.”

He agreed, and we walked a few steps away as he told me about what had happened to cause the wreck, and tried to call his sister again. I waited with him until his family arrived, not able to let go until I knew he had someone else to turn to.

Just a few years before, I’d been in a similar situation. Driving to pick up my daughter from dance class, someone ran a stop sign going 50 mph and hit me dead on from the side. After pulling my car over, I sat stunned.

I remember someone coming over to ask if I was ok, and me telling them I was even though I didn’t really feel it. I remember trying to dial my mother’s phone number, but not being able to remember how to use my phone. I remember being confused as I spoke to her, and not being able to say the words I wanted to say. I remember being scared that I was hurt, but couldn’t tell, and couldn’t think straight.

I was lucky and sustained no long-term injuries. But for months, I couldn’t pass an intersection without flinching when another car approached from the side. It gave me a point of reference that I’d never had before. An experience that made me sympathetic to the elderly gentleman I’d come upon.

Have you had experience as a new mom, or a single mom, or a mom of twins? Have you struggled with postpartum, have a child with special needs, or have step-children? Is there another mom you’ve come upon in your daily life—maybe unexpectedly—that seems to be wandering through your same situation dazed and confused?

God calls us to be a light in the darkness of this world. And any mom that’s made it through their child’s first year can admit one thing: not every day is rainbows and unicorns. There are moments of darkness. Moments of confusion. Moments of being overwhelmed. Moments when we can’t even remember the names of simple items, like a pencil. We each have had our days when we longed to share our struggle with another mom who understood us without casting judgment.

Sweet mom, if you’re a few steps down the road further than another mom you know who is struggling, I encourage you to reach out to her. Be a light in her dimming world.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:5 NIV)

Show her the love of Christ, by simply being someone she can turn to, by being someone she can rely on.  Show her that hope is just up ahead!  

The impact you have on her—and her children—could be the very thing she needs most to succeed as a mom. And, it could be the very thing you need to realize how far you’ve come in your own journey.

Have you ever felt like you needed another mom’s help? Why do you think so many moms struggle with reaching out to each other? Who can you reach out to today to show her the love of Christ?

 

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Wonder If Mentoring Matters & How YOU Can Make a Difference?

mentoringmatter

Have you ever wanted to start a Titus 2 ministry but you weren’t sure how? 

Perhaps you have tried to use material that may work for some churches but your church or ministry has a very different volunteer base, skill set, and logistics than where you’ve seen it work before.

The MOM Initiative is here to help YOU tailor a Titus 2 Mentoring Ministry specifically for YOUR church and to help you reach out in YOUR community in a very unique way through mentoring moms both inside your church and in your community.

We make mentoring moms easy and missional. (TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN BEGIN A MOM GROUP, CLICK HERE.)

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED IF MENTORING MATTERS? Check out these statistics…

  • Earning higher income levels than those who aren’t mentored
  • Less likely to quit school
  • Less likely to do drugs
  • Less likely to deal with depression
  • More likely to be active in their communities
  • More likely to have the confidence to apply for higher level jobs
  • Earn up to $22,000 more for comparable jobs
  • More likely to deal with changes in life and difficult circumstances better than those who weren’t mentored

Mentoring matters! It makes a difference in the lives of those who are mentored as well as those who do the mentoring.

AND…

Did you know that if ONLY 3 women in 1/2 of the churches in the U.S. would mentor just 3 other mothers, we could impact over 1 MILLION MOMS for Christ?

AND…

  • Did you know…. over 50% of the children being raised in the United States are being raised in single parent homes?
  • And did you know that approximately 26% of those single parents are teen moms?
  • And did you know that over 70% of single moms are unchurched?
  • And did you know that almost 80% of the prison population come from single parent homes?

That’s not an indictment on single moms, but it is a cultural cry for help and a huge opportunity for the CHURCH to be the CHURCH in the lives of moms!

Motherhood is hard and it’s not a journey that was meant to be made alone.

That’s why The M.O.M. Initiative exists. To help women’s ministry leaders tailor a Titus 2 mentoring ministry that is not only easy, but will also make mentoring missional. The MOM Initiative is an IN-REACH and an OUT-REACH MINISTRY that views mentoring as not only a way to mentor moms inside the church, but to reach moms who don’t know Christ through the power and beauty of mentoring.

And The MOM Initiative focuses it’s ministry on ALL MOMS – of ALL AGES – and in ALL STAGES of motherhood. Whether you’re married, single, or widowed – whether your an expectant mom, a mom of a toddler, a mom of a teen, a mom of an adult child or somewhere in between, we are here for YOU!

So…The M.O.M. Initiative mentors moms because mentoring matters.

We mentor moms knowing that if we can reach the moms of this generation, we can reach the heart of the next generation.

We hope to change that by weaving mentoring into the fabric of the local church. And YOU CAN JOIN US!


 TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN BEGIN A MOM GROUP, CLICK HERE.


 The M.O.M. Initiative is a cutting edge ministry that is seeing God do some unexplainable things with MOMs Groups thriving across the world and moms discovering the joy of gathering together with other moms and experiencing the strength that comes from relationships with other moms.

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That’s why I wrote The Making of a Mom.

To minister to the hearts of mommas and to answer the questions that every mentor asks:

  1. What will I use?
  2. What will I say?
  3. What will I do?

With questions at the end of each chapter to help you avoid that awkward silence and give you direction for you conversation… and with a comprehensive Leader’s Guide in the back, The Making of a Mom is a one-of-a-kind, all-in-one book that will meet moms where they are and give ministry leaders everything they need to mentor moms in one book.

You can ORDER The Making of a Mom to give you practical tools for your own mom journey or to begin a MOM Group in your local church, ministry or community.

Would you take a few short minutes and discover how YOU don’t have to take your mom journey alone and how you can impact your community and this culture for Christ through the power of missional mentoring?

To watch the video, please click this link. 

(And please help us get the word out by SHARING on your social media outlets)

ORDER THE MAKING OF A MOM today!


TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN BEGIN A MOM GROUP, CLICK HERE.


 


Stephs-Sotry-Pic-300x290By the way, I’d LOVE to come share with your church or ministry about how YOU can begin a TAILOR-MADE MENTORING MINISTRY that will not only help you minister to moms in your church, but reach those sweet moms in your community, as well.

If you’d like to have me come speak at your next event and share BROKEN NO MORE, TITUS 2 with a TWIST, WHEN GOD IS SILENT, MORE, A TALE of TWO MOTHERS, LEADING the WAY, or if you’d like me to meet with your Women’s Ministry and help you tailor a TITUS 2 ministry for your church or ministry,  I’d love to hear from you.

CLICK THIS LINK and pop over to my site and fill out the INVITE STEPH form.

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5 Tips for Kids and Daylight Saving Time

daylightsaving

It’s only 60 minutes, but Daylight Saving Time can rock a child’s world. That means it rocks OUR world too, mom! About ¼ of the world observes Daylight Saving Time (that’s right – no “s” on the end of Saving), so the slight change hits  ALOT of the world! Not everyone is a fan of the time change. Even in my country, Hawaii and Arizona don’t play along, but most states do.

In 2015 Daylight Saving Time begins Sunday, March 8 as we move our clocks forward an hour, and it ends Sunday, November 1st (Fall BACK, Spring FORWARD). Because our bodies are geared to wake and sleep according to natural light, the sudden change on the clock can take its toll on both grown ups and kids. The seismic sleep shift sometimes rattles a child’s appetite, mood, and attention span. Some kids find it hard to fall asleep at their regular bedtime. Does the change throw your family off?

I’ve experimented with different approaches over the years, finding that the only guaranteed way to avoid the adjustment would be to move to Arizona! So, if you’re dreading the loss of a precious hour of sleep this weekend, let me share some tips to make the shock a little more gentle.

5 Tips for Kids and Daylight Saving Time

  • Resist delaying bedtimes or wake up times; it’s better to shift to the new time.
  • Keep your routine normal during daylight hours.
  • Expose your child to bright light during the day to help wake up the body clock.
  • Take a nap, but not too close to bedtime.
  • Start earlier, maybe on Saturday night (not a school night). You could even shift 15 minutes per night, starting Thursday.

We don’t want our children to be sleep deprived. After all, a sleep deprived child makes for a sleep deprived mom. Grown ups need between 7 and 9 hours, so our lack of sleep shows up immediately if we don’t get the zzzz’s we need.

If you live where Daylight Saving Time reigns, keep your sleepy eyes fixed on the important gift of rest. Adequate rest blesses our bodies and minds with the chance to recharge, recover, and restore from the day of work. Don’t stress about the change thrust upon us by 3 little words on a calendar square: “Daylight Saving Time.” After all, “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.” (Psalm 127:2)

So take heart friends, and take a nap! In a few days or maybe a week, our body clocks will reset, and our kids will be back to that all important good night’s sleep!

[Tweet “5 Tips for Kids and #DaylightSavingTime”  Sleep well #mom!]

Do your children struggle with Daylight Saving Time? Does Daylight Saving Time mess with your internal clock?

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Why You Should Stop Saying You’re Broken

brokennomore

Yesterday I had the amazing privilege of speaking at two different events, and I spoke on a topic I’m asked to speak on often… Identity and the concept that we are broken people. (Broken No More)

We hear it a lot. Even in Christian circles.

“We’re all broken people, with broken lives, living in a broken world. But that’s okay, because God uses broken people.”

While I understand what they are trying to say… that no matter where we’ve been, what we’ve done, or how broken we are, God can still use us. BUT although it sounds good, it’s not exactly biblically accurate

God doesn’t just USE BROKEN PEOPLE – HE FIXES BROKEN PEOPLE! We are BROKEN NO MORE!

Broken is who we were, a new creation in Christ is who we are. 

And as a Christian, EVERY TIME I say I’M BROKEN, I put SHACKLES BACK on my HEART and HOLD MYSELF CAPTIVE to WHAT JESUS SET ME FREE FROM.

And if we don’t get past our past, our fears and our insecurities – and if we don’t really get a clear picture of who we are in Christ, we will NEVER be all God created us to be.

Colossians 2:9-10 says, “For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.”

When we become a Christian, we are born into the family of God. Born again. And we become a new creation in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things are passed away. All things are made new.”

If you don’t know Christ, then yes… you’re broken. But if you have been born again, you are IN Christ and have been made brand new.

Have you ever seen “The Princess Diaries”?

Mia was a teenager who discovered she was a princess – BUT finding out she was a princess didn’t instantly change the way she saw herself.

She still looked at herself as the frumpy, invisible, unpopular girl in high school. She didn’t understand the privileges and the responsibilities that came with being who she already was. Mia had to learn to walk in her new identity.

She had to learn to BECOME who she already was.

And so do we.

When we are born into the family of God we become princesses. Daughters of the King. We know we have been born again – and have become part of the family of God, but we don’t understand the benefits and the responsibilities that come with our new IDENTITY as the King’s daughter.

Like Mia – We have to learn to become who we already are.

We may not automatically know who we are – and it’s important to remember that understanding who we are is a journey, not a one time event.

Jesus is changing us from glory to glory, and as we learn to walk in who we are, we will be able to embrace the abundant life Jesus came to give us.

I’m pretty passionate about sharing this message because I get broken. Broken defined my life. But when Jesus saved me, He changed everything.

Here’s a very short version of my testimony that will help you understand why I am so familiar with BROKEN and why I’m passionate about helping women discover their identity in Christ. 

 If you can’t view this in your reader, please CLICK HERE

We may have been broken by experience, but we are healed by identity.

You see, if you and I continue to say we are broken, when Jesus makes us complete, we hinder what He wants to do in our lives and will never be able to step into who we were created to be.

And as a mom... if you don’t know who you are in Christ and you can’t grasp how your new identity gives you the power to live in victory in this life and become all God created you to be, how will you be able to convey that to your children?

I want all God has for meI want all God has for my children and for my grandchildrenif I DON’T TEACH THEM how to BELIEVE WHAT GOD SAYS about who they are… if I DON’T TEACH THEM how to WALK IN THIER IDENTITY, then who is going to teach them?

And the way they learn best is by the way we live out our own faith and our own identity.

I’ve provided 42 verses that will help you discover who you are in Christ. It’s a great resource for you to go through with your children too. (CLICK THIS LINK to DISCOVER YOUR NEW & TRUE IDENTITY)

 

If you’re struggling with feeling broken, we are here to encourage you and I’d love for you to share what it is you are struggling with. You can also email The MOM Initiative at info@themominitiative.com.

 


Stephs-Sotry-Pic-300x290By the way, I’d LOVE to come share BROKEN NO MORE and help women in your church discover the power of their new identity in Christ!

If you’d like to have me come speak at your next event and share BROKEN NO MORE, TITUS 2 with a TWIST, WHEN GOD IS SILENT, MORE, A TALE of TWO MOTHERS, LEADING the WAY, or if you’d like me to meet with your Women’s Ministry and help you tailor a TITUS 2 ministry for your church or ministry,  I’d love to hear from you.

CLICK THIS LINK and pop over to my site and fill out the INVITE STEPH form.


 

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